NFC: Dallas > Seattle. (Hasselback throws a critical return INT for TD to Pacman, er Adam Jones who takes it 77 yards and promptly flips the ball to his new G/F Barbara Walters “She’s cultured n sheit” who he met, ironically, through Elizabeth Hasselback. Adam down wit ‘Da View” except for dat fat bitch Rosie sumpin)

Super Bowl: Adding to the insanity, the halftime “entertainment” will be Jessica Simpson ” singing ” (like what else is she going to do, READ SHAKESPEARE ?). Chris Simms (YES) throws a late TD to Jason Witten (a benched Tony Romo’s best friend) for a 31-30 Cowboy win.

Tank Johnson pulls out a Machine Gun and like a Palestinian on the West Bank lets go on the 50 yard line, firing a whole belt of ammo in celebration. Adam bends Barabara over and TAPS DAT AZZ right there in the stands. Wade Phillips looks more confused in victory than he did in losing last year (or if he was asked to spell ‘pedantic’).

And finally in the ultimate “YE HAW I A FARKING CRAZY !!!!” moment, Jarral Jones announces that Jessica is having HIS love baby and not Romo’s.

Then to spite me, both God and the Devil will collaborate in making my life miserable by ensuring I never see a Pro Bowl quarterback from the Honolulu Blue & Silver when during the acceptance of the Lombardi Trophy, helicopters filled with armed feds will decend on the stadium and arrest Kitna as the head of a massive child porn ring.

Turns out those weren’t just missions he was going on over in Thailand and Romania, I guess.

“Stick a fork in NE; they’re done.”

Don’t cross the streams, Ray.

AFC Championship: Indy over San Diego.
Why? Indy and SD are the most talented teams in the conference. Stick a fork in NE; they’re done. Indy over SD because by that point, Shawne Merriman’s knee ligaments should look like the end result of going through a paper shredder, and I don’t trust Philip Rivers to survive a season without an overzealous fan taking him out for talking shit during a game.

AFC Championship: New Orleans over Minnesota
Why? Because fuck Tavaris Jackson, that’s why. Also, I lucked into Purple Jesus in my fantasy league. Also, I have Drew Brees. And I don’t trust anyone else to win shit, especially after Dallas has a mid-season QB change after a 6 game losing streak because everyone wants to kill Romo for making them listen to his girlfriend’s music. Pacman ain’t down wid it, but he gon tracta dat azz anyway.

I loove my steelers some shrooms too, I don’t see them as being as weak as everyone thinketh, heck no. Calling it here, AFC championship is where we’ll go…and flip a coin when we get there as for winning it, cuz goddamn Steelers AFC championships always give me heart attacks!

One of these days you have to work in a Stan Humphries – Marmalard reference, I swear that 40 yard pass he threw at the end is still sailing…

I’m thinking Steelers / Boys for the 4th time. We need revenge on Barry Switzer!

I, for one am a non-believer… I think we will be seeing non-stop 3 step drops for 7 yard completions all up and down the field. And no Mckinney for 4 games??? Let’s just say we might be looking at a 1-3 start.

Not gonna justify it, I’m just calling it.