Campbell Soup Goes For The Demographic That Allied Biscuit Abandoned


But what if you combined crackers AND soup?

What flubby’s Sunday funny missed in its NFL commercial breakdown was the preponderance of Chunky Soup ads readying to bombard our sets during the bullshit TV timeouts between a kick return and the start of an offensive series. Sure, it’s soup that eats like a meal, but only if that meal is served in a prison mess hall.

Unlike Kirk Van Houten’s cracker company, Campbell Soup has seen fit to abandon the family market and target middle-aged single guys. So they ditched Momma McNabb and (I guess) Casey Hampton’s mom in favor of LaDainian Tomlinson’s helmet cam. Because nothing makes me hungry for soup like intercutting shots up a running back’s nose with flashes of Norv Turner.

You Been Blinded provides footage of LDT’s Blair Witch-esque making-of video.

LaKneeInjury, ever the student of history, is mindful but unconcerned with the Chunky Soup Curse. You as fantasy owners should not be so foolhardy.

/attempting to coax other owners to let him fall to pick no. 6.

Tags: , ,

12 Responses to “Campbell Soup Goes For The Demographic That Allied Biscuit Abandoned”

  1. Unsilent Majority Says:

    I don’t know if single people eat crackers, and frankly, I don’t want to know.

  2. Weed Against Speed Says:

    This is the sort of disappointing news that could very well get McNabb’s mom back on the Rock.

  3. Unsilent Majority Says:

    It’s back to Eastern Motors for Jason Campbell

  4. TF Says:

    I don’t recall saying “good luck”.

  5. dougery Says:

    so….

    a) does this mean the ‘curse’ has been lifted off of McNabb and he will play the whole season?
    b) for poor folk food, ramen is incredibly bad for you AND still leaves you hungry. Hmmm, on second thought, all poor food does that.
    c) soup never eats like a meal. I don’t care if it is concrete cinder block and landfill soup, you are going to be jonesing for a cheeseburger like, 10 minutes later.
    d) i wonder how many takes they needed to do before they realized Norv’s filmed visage was incinerating the stock and finally they just added him via computer effects, albeit causing the animation guys to go blind/become deranged in the process.

  6. dick_gozinia Says:

    I used to buy PBR because they didn’t advertise and because a 30-pack was as cheap as Busch Light. Now every hipster douchebag drinks it and it makes me sad.

  7. dougery Says:

    pretty sure the hipsters have moved on to something else by now. they are a fickle lot, as soon as many of them think one thing is cool, they abandon it with cynical detachment. It’s their fucking modus operandi.

  8. Johnny from Burger King Says:

    soupsoupsoupsoupsoupsoupsoupsoupsoup

  9. jackin'4beats Says:

    LDT went for $80 out of a $200 salary cap in our auction so if he gets injured there’s going to be a really pissed off person in our league.

  10. Gino Tourettsa Says:

    If they’re targeting single middle-aged guys, they’re looking right at Kirk van Houten. He’s got a bed shaped like a race car!

  11. Mastershakey Says:

    Maybe I’m crazy, but that close up of LaDanian doesn’t make me want soup, it makes me want to go catch frogs and then pick them up and stare at their faces from the same angle. Like really badly.

    /stopped taking the pills I should years ago

  12. Skim172 Says:

    What’s Norv Turner doing on the set? Did he come out just so he could feel relevant?

    Norv Turner: (high-pitched voice) Hey, is that Norv Turner?

    (regular voice, sheepish grin) Aw, jeez.

Leave a Reply