At the Intersection of Dipsh*t Avenue and F*cktard Drive
Many have often wondered what would happen when you combined the urban camo-clad fucktards from Baltimore with the the dipshits who bother to vote (some 75k times) in ESPN’s inane Sports Nation polls. Well now we know that the answer is rampant dumbfuckery of the highest order.
The WWL recently asked fans to vote for the greatest player in their franchise’s history, and this is what the results look like for the Ravens…
Yeah, the fucking kicker. Those Natty Boh swilling, scrotum sniffing assholes picked some lily white piece of shit as their most accomplished football player because he was able to provide points when Trent Dilfer couldn’t get the ball inside the twenty.
Now Stover was pretty damn good for a little Greek kicker, but even Stefan Fatsis has to be blown away by the overwhelming retardation of this poll result (I’d ask him, but he’s busy standing next to his book display at Kramer’s while trying to look nonchalant desperately waiting to say “Why yes, I am Stefan Fatsis!”).
Don’t you assholes realize that Jonathan Ogden is quite possibly the second best tackle (Munoz) in the history of football? Have you already forgotten that he was the first player your sorry relocated franchise ever drafted en route to 11 consecutive Pro Bowls?
So please explain to me how this man can only garner 4.4% of your vote while a fucking kicker racked up better than half of the total. Unless of course you’re just ruling out Ogden because he’s a brother from DC. Because I think everyone expects a bit more from the city of Baltimore.
What’s that? They don’t? Yeah, probably not.
Tags: baltimore ravens, DC-Baltimore Rivalry, he was the smartest player on the Ravens, Kickers Suck, Polls, Unsilent Majority
August 19th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Phenomenal. I have tears in my eyes from that headline.
Given what a prominent role a former-kicker-turned-agent-of-enemy-forces played in some of my team’s most crucial victories, I can see how perception bias might make people want to vote for a kicker.
Really stupid people, that is. Eesh.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Would Matt Stover protect your ass if he saw you kill two people? How you gonna vote for a snitch???
August 19th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
But, but he points up to Jesus every time he boots one, Maj!
/didn’t participate in this poll
//swills Natty Boh
///is WT from Highlandtown
August 19th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
“Rampant dumbfuckery” used to be a term reserved for the politicians, but now it can be applied to the Maryland populus as a whole!
August 19th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Sheeeeeeeeit, partner. Why don’t they show a brother some love?
August 19th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
I was gonna vote for Marlo Stanfield. Seems like the smart play in my book, even with Chris down at Jessup and Snoop dead.
Seriously, Matt Stover? WTF? If you wanted a white guy that bad, at least go for Todd Heap.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Kickers are barely players at all – more like subcontractors.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
I will remember for the rest of my days the majestic soaring 31-yard field goal he made in the first quarter against Jacksonville in 2004 to make the score 3-0, moments like that deserve the proper respect.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
B-more fans couldn’t think straight for this poll- Marlo got his package back out
August 19th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Jonathan Ogden is like The Empire Strikes Back of offensive linemen
August 19th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
I saw this yesterday and was waiting for something to go up here.
Was I disappointed? Not in the LEAST.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
If I were Stover, I’d watch my back in the locker room. You know how Ray-Ray gets when he’s pissed off about losing.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
I’m from Baltimore and I can’t stand Ogden. He bitched about turf toe for the past 4 years and never provided any steady blocking for our mediocre quarterbacks. Ray should’ve been voted, but I guess Ogden is the talk of the town down in Dupont Circle.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Yes, that D.C.-Baltimore rivalry. Nothing gets my blood boiling like a Nats/O’s game.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Jonathan Ogden is like The Empire Strikes Back of offensive linemen
Well, um, I’ve never seen the Empire Strikes Back, so I don’t get that reference. That’s a science fiction film right? One of those Star Trek things for children?
August 19th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
I’d say +1 for Clay Davis’s comment, but I know he’d just string it out and get +20 out of me anyway.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
@Otto Man: The fuck’s a Star Trek?
August 19th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
@Otto Man: You’re so cool!!!1!
August 19th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
At the Intersection of Dipsh*t Avenue and F*cktard Drive.
Wasn’t that Bodie’s old corner?
August 19th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Somewhere, Dave Zastudil is shaking his fist.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Jonathan Ogden is like The Empire Strikes Back of offensive linemen
So does that make Matt Stover the Phantom Menace of Baltimore Ravens?
Voting for a kicker as your franchise’s best player is like…well…there’s no comparison really. You’re voting for a kicker as your franchise’s best player.
What next? People forgetting that Omar owned Baltimore?
August 19th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Baltimore fans didn’t vote for this; its the losers who actually participate in the pointless espn “sports nation” polls.
for the record, DC sucks – just a bunch of dorks from somewhere else.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
@Kirb: You prove the whole article about Ravens fans is accurate.
Ogden is better with no feet and a Ray Lewis ginsu knife stuck in his back than anyone else on that list.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
If 75,000 Baltimorons know how to use a computer, than Prezbo is really doing his job…
August 19th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
If Johnathan Ogden is The Empire Strikes Back of offensive lineman, that makes Jeff Saturday The Wrath of Khan.
Also, it’s confirmed that Matt Stover is The Phantom Menace.
Over/Under on locker room stabbings for the Ravens this year: 6.
Also, isn’t camoflague supposed to make it so you blend in? Where do you buy purple camoflauge? Whose acid trip got invaded for someone to make that?
August 19th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
I tell you this poll had me worried for a while… As a cowboys Fan i would have commited suicide if anyone besides Roger won… what? Emmitt was voted winner?
/Shoots self in the face while hanging by the neck
August 19th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
That the Ravens got their name from Edgar Allan Poe (his substance abuse and madness were Baltimore-related) is remarkable. That they chose “Ravens” is gay.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
@Otto Man: You’re so cool!!!1!
Obviously. I think I made that clear by stating that I had not seen this “Empire Strikes Back” film you mentioned.
Ahoy, polloi!
August 19th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
I don’t know which is worse, Stover winning the Ratbirds vote, or Bobby Hebert being the Saints representative.
Bobby effing Hebert? Really?
August 19th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
After all this Bodymore talk, I think I may have to rename my fantasy team as the New Day Co-Op.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
When I think of Baltimore I think of the tv show The Wire. When I think of D.C. I think of the movie Philadelphia.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
fuck espn for even listing the kicker. shouldn’t have been an option.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
@ Ottoman
Spalding wanted me to ask if you came from a Scotch ad.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Somebody call Mayflower and get LA on the phone. Get ready to lose your team again, Baltimorean morans.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Not even Bubbles would wear a Stover jersey because of self respect. Whoever voted for him probably is being closed in with a nailgun (45 cal) as we speak.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
how did peter boulware win the ROTY 7 years before being in the league?
August 19th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Don’t these guys know that nobody has gotten a hand job in camo cargo shorts since ‘nam?!?!?!
August 19th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
“In a bacon and egg breakfast, the chicken looks like the old “genius” head coach, but the bacon was carved off the back of the pig by bay-ray….”
August 19th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Don’t worry, when ESPN holds this poll again in three months (after redoing “Who’s now!” and “Titletown” again 80 times apiece), the ship will be righted.
August 19th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
I saw the headline and fully expected this to have Marmalard flying through the door.
August 19th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Well, um, I’ve never seen the Empire Strikes Back, so I don’t get that reference. That’s a science fiction film right? One of those Star Trek things for children?
Nothing’s more charming than smug pretentiousness!
August 19th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Tell me that’s not Bunny Colvin on the right!
August 19th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Kyle “All Pro” Boller not an option? The guy can throw a football really far from his knees!
August 19th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Nothing’s more charming than smug pretentiousness!
What about mocking of smug pretentiousness? What did that earn me?
August 19th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
a paddlin’
August 19th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
It’s the best man, I bought it from a negro.
August 19th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Fuck, I’d expect the Cardinals to do something as pathetic as picking a Kicker as your all-time best player, but I thought Ravens fans had at least an ounce of self respect. It’s bad enough you people LIVE in Baltimore; why did you have to fuck up this decision as well?
/Walter Jones is greater than Ogden
August 20th, 2008 at 12:31 am
I’m really late to this game. Anyway, I worked at the Raven’s training camp and I have to tell you that Stover is HUGELY popular. Yet more popular? Joe Flacco, who has yet to play an official game as a Raven.
I do not have a high opinion of Raven’s fans after that camp.
August 20th, 2008 at 12:38 am
More KSK posts need to result in the “Kickers suck” tag.
August 20th, 2008 at 8:46 am
These assholes where at a Frederick Keys game Tuesday night!!!! I was booing them(Not just because they suck)They’re also Baltimore Fans.Instead of throwing out the first pitch,These dickheads threw a football..Also that 100 years old guy that dresses like an indian for the Redskins was there..At least he threw a baseball(poorly)
August 20th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
As a Ravens fan, I can only shake my head. Then again, most Marylanders have been ashamed of the Baltimorons on a regular basis. One or more of the following descriptions has to apply:
a) Stupid
b) Racist
c) Mad about offensive ineptitude
d) In possession of a weird sense of ironic humor
I vote for a, b and c.