Many have often wondered what would happen when you combined the urban camo-clad fucktards from Baltimore with the the dipshits who bother to vote (some 75k times) in ESPN’s inane Sports Nation polls. Well now we know that the answer is rampant dumbfuckery of the highest order.
The WWL recently asked fans to vote for the greatest player in their franchise’s history, and this is what the results look like for the Ravens…
Yeah, the fucking kicker. Those Natty Boh swilling, scrotum sniffing assholes picked some lily white piece of shit as their most accomplished football player because he was able to provide points when Trent Dilfer couldn’t get the ball inside the twenty.
Now Stover was pretty damn good for a little Greek kicker, but even Stefan Fatsis has to be blown away by the overwhelming retardation of this poll result (I’d ask him, but he’s busy standing next to his book display at Kramer’s while trying to look nonchalant desperately waiting to say “Why yes, I am Stefan Fatsis!”).
Don’t you assholes realize that Jonathan Ogden is quite possibly the second best tackle (Munoz) in the history of football? Have you already forgotten that he was the first player your sorry relocated franchise ever drafted en route to 11 consecutive Pro Bowls?
So please explain to me how this man can only garner 4.4% of your vote while a fucking kicker racked up better than half of the total. Unless of course you’re just ruling out Ogden because he’s a brother from DC. Because I think everyone expects a bit more from the city of Baltimore.
What’s that? They don’t? Yeah, probably not.
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As a Ravens fan, I can only shake my head. Then again, most Marylanders have been ashamed of the Baltimorons on a regular basis. One or more of the following descriptions has to apply:
a) Stupid
b) Racist
c) Mad about offensive ineptitude
d) In possession of a weird sense of ironic humor
I vote for a, b and c.
These assholes where at a Frederick Keys game Tuesday night!!!! I was booing them(Not just because they suck)They’re also Baltimore Fans.Instead of throwing out the first pitch,These dickheads threw a football..Also that 100 years old guy that dresses like an indian for the Redskins was there..At least he threw a baseball(poorly)
More KSK posts need to result in the “Kickers suck” tag.
I’m really late to this game. Anyway, I worked at the Raven’s training camp and I have to tell you that Stover is HUGELY popular. Yet more popular? Joe Flacco, who has yet to play an official game as a Raven.
I do not have a high opinion of Raven’s fans after that camp.
Fuck, I’d expect the Cardinals to do something as pathetic as picking a Kicker as your all-time best player, but I thought Ravens fans had at least an ounce of self respect. It’s bad enough you people LIVE in Baltimore; why did you have to fuck up this decision as well?
/Walter Jones is greater than Ogden
It’s the best man, I bought it from a negro.
a paddlin’
Nothing’s more charming than smug pretentiousness!
What about mocking of smug pretentiousness? What did that earn me?
Kyle “All Pro” Boller not an option? The guy can throw a football really far from his knees!
Tell me that’s not Bunny Colvin on the right!
Well, um, I’ve never seen the Empire Strikes Back, so I don’t get that reference. That’s a science fiction film right? One of those Star Trek things for children?
Nothing’s more charming than smug pretentiousness!
I saw the headline and fully expected this to have Marmalard flying through the door.
Don’t worry, when ESPN holds this poll again in three months (after redoing “Who’s now!” and “Titletown” again 80 times apiece), the ship will be righted.
“In a bacon and egg breakfast, the chicken looks like the old “genius” head coach, but the bacon was carved off the back of the pig by bay-ray….”
Don’t these guys know that nobody has gotten a hand job in camo cargo shorts since ‘nam?!?!?!
how did peter boulware win the ROTY 7 years before being in the league?
Not even Bubbles would wear a Stover jersey because of self respect. Whoever voted for him probably is being closed in with a nailgun (45 cal) as we speak.
Somebody call Mayflower and get LA on the phone. Get ready to lose your team again, Baltimorean morans.
@ Ottoman
Spalding wanted me to ask if you came from a Scotch ad.
fuck espn for even listing the kicker. shouldn’t have been an option.
When I think of Baltimore I think of the tv show The Wire. When I think of D.C. I think of the movie Philadelphia.
After all this Bodymore talk, I think I may have to rename my fantasy team as the New Day Co-Op.
I don’t know which is worse, Stover winning the Ratbirds vote, or Bobby Hebert being the Saints representative.
Bobby effing Hebert? Really?
@Otto Man: You’re so cool!!!1!
Obviously. I think I made that clear by stating that I had not seen this “Empire Strikes Back” film you mentioned.
Ahoy, polloi!
That the Ravens got their name from Edgar Allan Poe (his substance abuse and madness were Baltimore-related) is remarkable. That they chose “Ravens” is gay.
I tell you this poll had me worried for a while… As a cowboys Fan i would have commited suicide if anyone besides Roger won… what? Emmitt was voted winner?
/Shoots self in the face while hanging by the neck
If Johnathan Ogden is The Empire Strikes Back of offensive lineman, that makes Jeff Saturday The Wrath of Khan.
Also, it’s confirmed that Matt Stover is The Phantom Menace.
Over/Under on locker room stabbings for the Ravens this year: 6.
Also, isn’t camoflague supposed to make it so you blend in? Where do you buy purple camoflauge? Whose acid trip got invaded for someone to make that?
If 75,000 Baltimorons know how to use a computer, than Prezbo is really doing his job…
@Kirb: You prove the whole article about Ravens fans is accurate.
Ogden is better with no feet and a Ray Lewis ginsu knife stuck in his back than anyone else on that list.
Baltimore fans didn’t vote for this; its the losers who actually participate in the pointless espn “sports nation” polls.
for the record, DC sucks – just a bunch of dorks from somewhere else.
Jonathan Ogden is like The Empire Strikes Back of offensive linemen
So does that make Matt Stover the Phantom Menace of Baltimore Ravens?
Voting for a kicker as your franchise’s best player is like…well…there’s no comparison really. You’re voting for a kicker as your franchise’s best player.
What next? People forgetting that Omar owned Baltimore?
Somewhere, Dave Zastudil is shaking his fist.
At the Intersection of Dipsh*t Avenue and F*cktard Drive.
Wasn’t that Bodie’s old corner?
@Otto Man: You’re so cool!!!1!
@Otto Man: The fuck’s a Star Trek?
I’d say +1 for Clay Davis’s comment, but I know he’d just string it out and get +20 out of me anyway.
Jonathan Ogden is like The Empire Strikes Back of offensive linemen
Well, um, I’ve never seen the Empire Strikes Back, so I don’t get that reference. That’s a science fiction film right? One of those Star Trek things for children?
Yes, that D.C.-Baltimore rivalry. Nothing gets my blood boiling like a Nats/O’s game.
I’m from Baltimore and I can’t stand Ogden. He bitched about turf toe for the past 4 years and never provided any steady blocking for our mediocre quarterbacks. Ray should’ve been voted, but I guess Ogden is the talk of the town down in Dupont Circle.
If I were Stover, I’d watch my back in the locker room. You know how Ray-Ray gets when he’s pissed off about losing.
I saw this yesterday and was waiting for something to go up here.
Was I disappointed? Not in the LEAST.
Jonathan Ogden is like The Empire Strikes Back of offensive linemen
B-more fans couldn’t think straight for this poll- Marlo got his package back out
I will remember for the rest of my days the majestic soaring 31-yard field goal he made in the first quarter against Jacksonville in 2004 to make the score 3-0, moments like that deserve the proper respect.
Kickers are barely players at all – more like subcontractors.
I was gonna vote for Marlo Stanfield. Seems like the smart play in my book, even with Chris down at Jessup and Snoop dead.
Seriously, Matt Stover? WTF? If you wanted a white guy that bad, at least go for Todd Heap.
Sheeeeeeeeit, partner. Why don’t they show a brother some love?
“Rampant dumbfuckery” used to be a term reserved for the politicians, but now it can be applied to the Maryland populus as a whole!
But, but he points up to Jesus every time he boots one, Maj!
/didn’t participate in this poll
//swills Natty Boh
///is WT from Highlandtown
Would Matt Stover protect your ass if he saw you kill two people? How you gonna vote for a snitch???
Phenomenal. I have tears in my eyes from that headline.
Given what a prominent role a former-kicker-turned-agent-of-enemy-forces played in some of my team’s most crucial victories, I can see how perception bias might make people want to vote for a kicker.
Really stupid people, that is. Eesh.