Your 2008 KSK Fantasy Football Team Naming Guide
Training camp is here! Training camp is here! Training camp is here! YEAAARRRGGHHH!!
/cream jeans
God, it’s just so nice to kinda not really have the NFL back. And if there’s anything that heralds the near-arrival of yet another NFL season, it’s that late-July/early-August time when your brain, as if on some sort of internal clock, says to you:
“Hey, you better get your fantasy league going, asshole.”
Oh, how I just adore planning for my fantasy season. Like any real NFL team (even the Lions!), this is the time of year when my record is 0-0 and the harsh survival-of-the-fittest process of the regular season has yet to cleave my spirit in two. I could win a championship year! I really could! This could be THE year, fuckos! God dammit, it’s fun to be so naïve.
This is the time of year when I run to the newsstand to pick the $8 fantasy annual that will give me terrible, terrible advice. I never pick the same one. One year I went with Street and Smith’s, which I think is published sometime around February 1st. Another year I went with Pro Football Weekly’s. That one was okay. Then I tried Lindy’s, which isn’t fit to line a snake cage. And don’t even get me started on Athlon. I swear it’s written by some sort of computer program. Worst of all, last year I picked the ESPN annual. Dunno why I did that. If you like your fantasy football delivered with Poochie-sized doses of synergized attitude, plus Mike & Mike’s gay bantering in written form, that’s the annual for you.
All of these annuals will help you compile your draft board, a draft board I assure you’ll end up deviating from during the draft (“Wait, maybe I should take Marques Colston instead of Calvin Johnson! FUCK IT, I’M DOING IT!”). But none of them will help with the most important preparation of all: naming your squad.
Well, we here at KSK are here to help. Time to bring back our now annual fantasy team naming guide. Tired of naming your team Magic Man And El Diablo, like you do every year? Well, fear not. Once again, we break it down by category.
Dirty Names
-Mangy Little Pussyflaps
-Sexy Friday Flautas
-Dana Cuntstubblefield
-Chief Executive Boners
-Fuckshovels
-Shovelfucks
-Ladyfingerers
-Fuck Town
-A Bunch Ah Fackin’ Dahkies
-Dongbones
-Nutz On Ya Chin
-Faceless Pussies
-Ass Hammers
-Giant Snatches
-Cockpunchers
-Nipple Pullers
-Chocolate Dongs
-Fuck Lions
Film/TV/Music/Internet References
-Jenkem Huffers
-Tiny Brained Wipers Of Other People’s Bottoms
-Not Your Fwiends, Guy
-Vertimaids
-Leeeeeeeeerrrroyyyyyyyyyy Jennnnnkemmmmmm!!!!
-Tell Me How My Ass Tastes
-Bologna Hammers
-Cock Swallowing Toilet Rapists
-Steaming Bags Of Pony Cunt
-Johnny Human Torches
-Friend-O’s
-We Are The Third Revelation
-Bastards From A Basket
-Hey, That’s My Asshole!
-Hayden Panettiere Hymen Busters
-Guitar Queeros
-YOU. ARE. FAGS.
Football/KSK References:
-Kellen Kolber’s 12 Dads
-Cooley’s Bag o Dicks
-Sean Taylor’s Thigh Hole
-Tedy Bruschi’s Skull Clot
-Kenny’s Suitcase Midgets
-The Fightin’ Cutlers
-Santonio’s Dong Rodeo
-Chubtards
-Shawn Merriman: Office Rapist
-Brady’s Bunch O Cock
-Biff Kings
-The Worst Team Dan Snyder Can Buy
-My Sauces
-Favraros
-Emmitt Smith’s Debaclers
-Matt Jones Toilet Rail
-Ken Stabler’s Ass Stapler
-Cedric’s Sun Chips
-$1000 Bounty on Daunte Culpepper
-Defenestrators
-Jack Nastys
-Billy Belichick’s MILF-Hunters
-Rainmakers
-Todd Sauerbrun’s Gaping Vag
-Joe Simpson’s Daughter Touching Company
-WELKAHHHHHS
-Reggie Bush’s Tush Regiment
-Brett Favre’s Intercepted Texts
-Emmitt Smith’s Guide To Renuciation and Dicked-chin
-Matty Ice Bukkake Latte
-Jerramy Stevens’ Mickey Slippers
-Smirre If You Want Team Win
News References
-McCain: Let’s Get Silly
-Tim Russert’s Humble Infarction
-God Damn Americans
-Hezbollahs Fist Bumps
-Angelina’s Adopted Children
-Michelle Obama, Whitey Receiver Coach
-Obama Been Fondlin’
-Heath Ledger’s Ambien Stash
-Holy Gay Bissingers
-Amy Winehouse Dead By Week 3
-Teddy Kennedy’s, Er Uh, Tumahs
Puns
No pun teams this year. You’re better than that!
Yours in the comments. Get ready for fantasy football, gang.
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, harder than naming my child, know I forgot about 70 good ones, ksk group posts
![[badge]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/themes/default/images/100121_FOXmsnBadge_200x50.gif)
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Drew’s Ingrown Taint Hairs
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Aaron Rodgers Empty Gun Locker
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Hungry Hungry Homos
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Ravenous Ravenous Rapists
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Johny Jolly & the Deux Deux Deuxs
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Garrett Reid’s Secret Stash
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:15 pm
The Drew Mexico Experience
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Brett Farve’s Mighty … No, Wait, Let Me Think of Something Else
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Men with “Men With Balls”
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Washington Post Pink Slips
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:17 pm
My Little Ponies
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:17 pm
The Matt Millennium Bug
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Ron Mexico’s Prison Raped Ass
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Colt Brennan’s Forgotten Rape Victims
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:20 pm
I’m desperately trying to come up with a Brady Quinn joke team name, and then I see Brady Quinn’s Handparty from last year’s Naming Guide. I grab that one.
/no homo
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:20 pm
The Cindy McCain Cunt Trollops
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Robot Insurance Claims Department
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:21 pm
We Are Marshall Leitch
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:22 pm
McBeef’s Dead Hokies
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Every year I buy those same stupid NFL magazines Drew wrote about and every year they’re worthless shit, yet I still buy them. So how about:
Street & Stupid’s
Lindy’s Retards
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:23 pm
DoorFlysOpen – ?
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Bowies in Space
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:24 pm
The Bengals’ Legal Team
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:25 pm
The Courtesy Taps
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Pussy Baskets
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Buzz’s Blog Bitches
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Drew’s Future Fatmen Club
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Tell Me How Frontiere’s Ash Tastes
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Erin Andrews’ Favorite Positions
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Travis Henry’s Dusty Rubbers
Pete North’s Frozen Ropes
The Great White Welka’
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Brady Quinn’s Bitten Pillow
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:32 pm
The Worst Team Dan Snyder Can Buy
Isn’t that already the name of the team playing in DC? Err, Landover.
Tom FUPA won me $1500 two years ago.
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Beijing Bars Banned of Brothers
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Frank Gaffington wins.
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
The Favre Tamperers
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Ya Betta Start Somebodayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:34 pm
I already used “Heath Ledger Memorial Pharmacy” for my fantasy baseball team
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Jim Rome Is Engulfed In Flame
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Brady Quinn Fagtrons
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:35 pm
fuck those mags. get a year subscription at footballguys.com. they even have draft software to help you with your draft. (so does espn now)
where the white girls at
you betta ask somebodayyyyy
painkiller suicide attempt
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:37 pm
The Italian Spidermen (If THDR can do it, so can I)
The Marmalards
The Double J’s
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Michael Vick’s Jailhouse Wallet
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Rocky Bleier made it to the 5th floor
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Marhar’s Gun Show
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:40 pm
If only he actually was engulfed in flames, Gino. If only.
In fact, he needs to become a character on KSK, or at least get the Francesca treatment for one post. He’s at least as annoyingly self-righteous as the Mad Dog.
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Larry Craig’s Wide Stance
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Curse of Madden’s Hyperbole
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:42 pm
my personal favorite that i thought of last year:
General Tso’s Bacon.
I named 4 different teams that.
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Mad Dog’s Distemper
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:44 pm
[Door flies Open]s
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:46 pm
@Microscopic Elvis:
The Rhymeoceroses? Only if you just happen to be playing The Hiphopopotamuses
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Pardon The Reach-Around
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Buttfucking Deanna
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:47 pm
I’ve always gone simple with The Moose Knuckles and it’s gotten me 2 championships in 3 years. Did I jinx myself right there? Yes, but that’s why I have “T.O. :Ambulance Chaser” as a backup.
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:47 pm
The Cleveland Baked Potatoes
/thanks, Urban Dictionary
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Aids is so retro
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Luscious Jackson and the Shit favored Scones
Keith Brooking’s Arm tackle Academy
Democrats for Dungy
Hey Simmons, your second child is mine
Emmit Smif’s school of elucution.
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Jem and the Holograms
The Pink Power Rangers
What?
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Matt Hasselbeck’s Procede Stockpile
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:52 pm
“No pun teams this year. You’re better than that!”
But…I had Carruthless Gangstas all set to go!?!?!?
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:53 pm
How about the sex cannon’s projectile?
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Drew’s Gay Traders
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Jake Delhomme and the cousin fuckers
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Eleven Mini-Ditkas
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:57 pm
The Brave Corporate Logos
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Tony Kornheiser’s Delicious Crabcakes
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Jamarcus Ate Them
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Warren Sapp’s Chocolate Nut Cups
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:01 pm
My current baseball team, “Ya Fackin’ Queeahs,” and one of my 2008 football teams, “Fack the Patriots,” are inspired by my favorite recurring Drew theme.
After reading this list, I am mad that I didn’t think of “Fuck Lions” first.
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:01 pm
I Really Should Be Working
Weekend At Al Davis’
I Gave Her The Shockey
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:01 pm
I’ll be sticking with my go-to name:
Ten Morgan Freemans
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:02 pm
I’m also very partial to the “Late Term Abortions.”
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:03 pm
10 jerks & a squirt
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Army of Darkness
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Mmmm…Crackers
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:06 pm
I Opened Pandora’s Box And All I Got Was Chlamydia
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:06 pm
oh and “Suck My Ditka” is another favorite
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Dierdorff’s Dong
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:12 pm
Rape Standin’
Silky’s Stable
My Boy Gaffled Javon Walker In Las Vegas And All I Got Was This Stupid T-Shirt
Pumpkie Pie Haircutted Freaks (only if I draft Jay Cutler or Elisha)
Ehh…I’ll stick with TMF.
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:17 pm
I still am partial to mine last year.
Andy Reid’s Parenting School
I may go with the old standby
Laura Quinn’s Adams Apple
However,
Cedric Benson’s Beached Pontoon may be in consideration
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Travis Henry’s Rhythm Method
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:24 pm
For years and years, I have used “Pump Action Yogurt Rifles” on ESPNs Fantasy Football Pickem leagues :D I don’t think they get it.
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:27 pm
The Banana Smoothies
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Matty Ryan Tadpole TagTeam
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Ufford’s Army of One
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:37 pm
I liked my two pick ‘em league names: Speckhosen (german for “bacon pants”) and Coffee is for Closers.
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Rogers and Hammerstein presents The Atlanta Falcon’s Offense
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:40 pm
My team names from last year by category:
Dirty Names – Alabama Hot Pockets
Film/TV/Music/Internet References – Bowies In Space
News References (2) – Idaho Wide Stances; Bad Newz Kennelz
Definitely stealing “Heath Ledger’s Ambien Stash” for this year. That one’s juuuuuuuuuust right.
For KSK references, there needs to be something about a poopy towel. It could also double in the dirty category…. just too lazy to think of anything right now
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:42 pm
The Birmington Booty Calls
urban dictionary. look it up, it’s the best one EVER.
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:44 pm
The HARF HARF HARF’s
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Lake Travis Boat Club
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:48 pm
White Knuckle Chewbaccas
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:48 pm
I’m picking Mattoon Green Wave at every opportunity to raise the ire of some Midwestern hay-seed.
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Marvin Harrison’s Hush Money
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:51 pm
The FUCK YOU BRETT FAVREs
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:51 pm
How’s this for a really long dumb ass name:
Reggie Bush is a bust-ing in a big butt-he could bounce back-dat ass up
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Erin Andrew’s Dildo *my teams’ name last year. avg finish:2nd
USC Song Girl Gangbangers
Emo Bangels
Ronson Carpetbaggers
Mrs. Myers’ Jelly Donut
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:53 pm
The Inside References to a Scandalous and/or Embarrassing Story
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:57 pm
The Combination Analyst-Therapist
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Marmalard’s Mammaries
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Osi’s Poop Towel
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:06 pm
I gotta say, the Amy Winehouse one was pretty funny.
Heath Ledger’s Magic Trick /hint at Batman spoiler
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:06 pm
Watch Out For Poopknuckle
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Oh, God, I Need a Drink
/Not a team name
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Double-J’s Boom Boom Room
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:12 pm
This year I’m going with “The Unborn Carruths”.
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:15 pm
The High Flukes
http://www.collegefastbreak.com/
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Emperor’s Club VIPs
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Michael Vick’s Pruno Distillery
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Necrophilic Dope Smokers, in honor of the two idiots that dug up a skull and used it as a bong
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:24 pm
Mark Chmura’s Prom Planning
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Thundercock Pussykiller FTW.
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Puh Puh Puh Puttin’ On The Titsssssss
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Rimas Sweed and the Tarr Leceivels
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:33 pm
4th and Schlong
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Cutler’s Diabeatyou
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Dexter Manleys Book Club
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Me So Zorny
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Ice Road Fuckers
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Those who wind up with the #1 overall pick should automatically be named NAMBLaDainian Tomlinson.
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:53 pm
How bout:
The Assknuckles, Rubber Nunchucks, Nipple Pinchers, The Jerk Stores
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Packer-Issued Cell Phones
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Raging Clue
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Or better yet
The Packer Insider
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Rachel Nipples
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Rachel Nipples is a hands down winner!!
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Kennedy’s Krazy Kancer
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Najeh Davenport Shit in my Hamper
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:27 pm
One Night Rape Stand
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Brad Childress’s Ether Rags
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:54 pm
Seriously? My team name is easily…
No Homo.
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Romo’s Airbags
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:18 pm
not football related, but my fantasy baseball team name is “Rusty Kuntz Fan Club”.
For fantasy football I’ll go with “Golden Richards Shower”
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:22 pm
I might also go with “Shit Storms”
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Children of the Zorn
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:56 pm
from South Park: Beeel Bellicheeek(s)!
Date Rape Apes
Ethnic Cleansing Agents
The Ether Bunnies
The Busted Balloon Knots
Badussy Wind
i’m spent
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Oh, come on. Like NONE of these will fit in the 20 characters Yahoo gives you.
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Homos for Dungy
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:29 pm
I went with North Dallas 40’s. I apologize.
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:33 pm
Dago Spidey Women Respecters
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Mike Vick Got it in the End
It’s Not Rape if the Kid is Already Dead
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Hung Like Vick’s Dogs
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:01 pm
Not to break up the streak, but someone needs to acknowledge how dead-on Drew’s take was on the fantasy football draft magazines.
The only way ESPN could suckify their annual issue any more would be if they included a photo of Lil Sean Salisbury inside. Meanwhile, Athlon’s report has all the original insight and narrative excitement of the USAirways in-flight magazine. And Street and Smith needs to meet Smith and Wesson.
On the good side, PFW and Fanball are pretty solid. I like Fantasy Football Index too, but that one forces you to rely on the wisdom-of-crowds bullshit or else make picks knowing that two-thirds of the experts disagree with every move you’ve made. Eh.
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:03 pm
That’s What She Said!
Rat Farts!
Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza
Bill Simmons Cock Punchers
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:05 pm
The Secret Of NIMH (Now I’s Most HIGH)
or
That Looks Infected
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:20 pm
IgnitionBreathalyzer
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:25 pm
The Slowest Porcupines In Town
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Footsteps Flacco
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Vick’s 161 Dog Months
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Touchdown My Pants
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:51 pm
Chris Henry’s Chris Henry replica jersey
Chumura Hot Tub
Brady Quinn Gay Parade
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:55 pm
Harrison’s Heaters
Matt Jonesing For Coke
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Eli Manning’s Karaoke Koach
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:16 pm
Talented Mr. Virgin
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Kyle Orton’s Drinking Buddies
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Mike Hunt All-Stars is a classic one I use a few years ago. Last year I had “Bad Newz Kennels” and “Free Pacman,” both of which are now slightly outdated.
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Leinart’s Hot Tub Minors
Beers. Boobs. Battlestar Galactica.
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Parcells FUPA Rumbles
/strokes own Fat Upper Pussy Area with smug satisfaction
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:45 pm
tavaris jackson’s minimal effort
July 24th, 2008 at 12:41 am
why so super cereal?
July 24th, 2008 at 12:53 am
I should have know that ‘FUCK YOU BRETT FAVRE’ would be gone by now.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:14 am
belichicks amateur film fest
July 24th, 2008 at 1:24 am
Mr. Davis
July 24th, 2008 at 1:27 am
1) Brady Quinn’s Footlongers
2) Sundays, I’m Kinda Busy
3) Favre’s Flip-Flops
4) Marmalard
5) Guitar Zero
6) Lou Piniella’s Wood is Hardening
July 24th, 2008 at 1:29 am
Off Constantly
July 24th, 2008 at 1:39 am
Squid Nipples
July 24th, 2008 at 2:09 am
Trouser Drops with Herm Edwards
July 24th, 2008 at 2:25 am
infected bursa sac
gonnorhea blood fart
queef mist
July 24th, 2008 at 2:54 am
Bloody Stool Pigeons
Ribbed-for her pleasure
Beaver Hunt ‘08
Dark Knight Overdose
July 24th, 2008 at 3:09 am
[...] Suzy Kolber Has Your 2008 Fantasy Football Team Naming Guide. (contains strong [...]
July 24th, 2008 at 3:16 am
[...] What to name your fantasy football team (KSK) [...]
July 24th, 2008 at 3:28 am
Skip Bayless Fan Club
No Romo
Eli Manning’s Remidial Reading Class
The Boner Boys
The Van Buren Boys
Pacman Jones’ Handlers
Nappy Headed Bros
Dickjousters
Ready, Aim, Fire…Joe Morgan
July 24th, 2008 at 4:05 am
Brady Punchers
Orton’s Beard
The Zombie Sean Taylor
Jane Skinner
Team Discovery Channel
July 24th, 2008 at 4:10 am
For my Colts fan league:
-Marvin’s Belgian Hand Cannons
-Dom’s drinking diapers
-The inflamed bursa sacs
-The grease stains on the RCA dome turf formerly known as Chris Henry
July 24th, 2008 at 4:12 am
Burgundy Balls
July 24th, 2008 at 4:38 am
Mark Brunell’s Holdout Threat
July 24th, 2008 at 6:24 am
Taco Stuffed Lobsters
July 24th, 2008 at 8:35 am
<> A Thirty Years’ War reference! I’d like to see the ESPN dolts come up with that.
July 24th, 2008 at 8:36 am
My comment page left out “Defenestrators”
/kinda looses its impact when I have to repeat it
July 24th, 2008 at 8:51 am
Balls Deep(in Jean Benet)
July 24th, 2008 at 9:02 am
Bobby Murcer’s Death Rattle
Heath Ledger’s Prescription Plan
R. Kelly’s Day Care
Larry Craig’s Wide Stance
July 24th, 2008 at 9:02 am
Turkey Slappin’ Bissinger
July 24th, 2008 at 9:04 am
[...] From Kissing Suzy Kolber, the premier NFL humor site on the Internets, your annual Fantasy Football Team Name Help Guide. [...]
July 24th, 2008 at 9:06 am
Zendejas’ Pharmacist
July 24th, 2008 at 9:20 am
My Knee Grows…love that name
July 24th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Miami Moral Majority
July 24th, 2008 at 9:41 am
doo doo and ketchup
smooth yet bold
8guysblowin9guys
or my personal favorite…
ThirtySevenAndOne
July 24th, 2008 at 9:56 am
Eli’s Annie Sullivan
July 24th, 2008 at 10:32 am
Can’t take credit but
Chris Hanson is a Cock Blocker
July 24th, 2008 at 10:38 am
The Everyday Is Like Sundays.
July 24th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Got the spouse to do a thoroughly silly fantasy football home version, two teams each, points-only, old-school…winner gets…well, it’ll be fun, let’s leave it at that. Current hypothetical team names:
Mine
-Aaron Rodgers’ Rage Diaries
-Hot Butter Pumps (this Sexy Friday phrase has attained a life of its own at our house)
His
-Nap Time For Brett Favre
-Why The Fuck Is Tony Romo On My Roster?
July 24th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Shit…forgot a couple of honorable mentions…
-Brett Favre Wears Prada
-TO’s Bitter ManTears
July 24th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Javon Walker’s Vegas Vacation
July 24th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Heath Ledger’s Marvelous Medication-Mixing Miscreants
and this isnt a name as much as great info:
2 Years and 122 Days until Miley Cyrus is legal and in Playboy
July 24th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Brandon Marshall’s Happy Meal
July 24th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Dallas: 11 years without a playoff win
or
The Romo botched snaps
July 24th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
I see “Cock Swallowing Toilet Rapists” wasn’t quite filthy enough to make the dirty list. Nice.
July 24th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
ButterflyFuckSwing
July 24th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Nick kazcur’s drug dealer
Darren McFaddens 11 unknown children
chris simms and the hostage company
carson palmers favorite buckeyes
Billy Ray Cyrus’s kids he doesn’t touch
jay cutlers missing insulin
July 24th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Dirtpipe Milkshake
July 24th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Ipinchedalofatutupu
July 24th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Travis Henry’s Illegitimates
That’s my team for the current year.
July 24th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Sex Fruit.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080724/ap_on_re_au_an/new_zealand_bizarre_names
July 24th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Sperm Headwards
July 24th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Smoot + Benson School of Sailing
July 24th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Stolen from a friend of mine:
Hasselbeck That Ass Up
July 24th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Loose Meat Sandwiches
/props to urbandictionary.com and it’s compendium of great names for my favorite meat.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?page=2&term=vagina
July 24th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
I guess “Jeff Reed’s shorn pubis” is not acceptable this year.
July 25th, 2008 at 2:01 am
How ’bout:
Brady Quinn’s Brown Helmet
Romeo Crennel’s Space Benders (that’s one of mine this year on tWWL)
Javon Skull Fucker
Benson’s Navy
The Sunday Divorcees (Saturday too for CF fans)
Osi’s Runaway Chocolate ChooChoo
Brett Farve and the Indecipherables
Pacmans Money Pole
Skanks for the Memories Garcia
Big Ben’s Lobotomy Leftovers
Skankbot Clitrons
and as I run out of steam (everyone give thanks)…………Belichicks Sneaky Coronary
July 25th, 2008 at 3:12 am
- Chewbaccas Taint Nuggets
-Marvin’s “I’ll Pop a Cap in Yo Ass If you Don’t Get the Hand-Wax” Carwash
-Will Ferrell Dies…PLEASE
-Casper the Jew Hatin’ Ghost
-11 Guys who wear Bluetooth Headsets All The Time and the Hands the Masterbate Them
-Jesse Jackson and Emmit Smith Spelling Bee
-1, 2, 3 Strikes You’re Herpies
-Optimus Hymen
-Cedric Benson’s Unemployment Check
-FLex Left, Right Zoom, X Fly, Safety Crash. On ” Her Face”
-Generation Bills
-Stimulus Dildo
and that’s how it’s done…who wants some?!
July 25th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Hot Whiskey Shits
July 25th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Ever since the deadspin story I can’t get enoug Blit Meat.
July 25th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
Lohans lesbian lovers
The Angry unicorns
Ettim Smtih
July 25th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Nate Newton’s TrunkO’Weed
Rex Grossman’s Chafage
July 26th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
-Fancy Robot Penis
-Tree Pushers
-Really Big Ducks
-A Bunch of Blind Girl Scouts
July 28th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Delhomme’s Biscuits
Orton FTW
Croyle’s In Charge
Cutler’s Diabeetus
Pennington Lobs
Kitn-etics
Retching McNabbs
VY Jelly
Rosenfel You Up
The Piano Men
Marino’s Isotoners
Paternity Testees
Travis Henry Inside (with photoshopped Intel ad as team logo)
Carruth’s Accomplices
.19 Leonard Littles
Kick Ass Purple Jesus Offense
Straight Cash Smoothies
Hines’ Black Side
Immaculate Super Donuts
July 28th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
For Baseball this year, my team is Explosive Renteria. Considered Byrnes when I Peavy and Throbbing Red Piniella.
As for football:
Last year I won my league with Mike Vick in a Box… kinda outdated now. Thinking of using Ten Inch Ditka, Norv Turner’s Neck, or Manning’s Infected Sac.
July 28th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
[...] 28, 2008 · No Comments KSK has some suggestions. -The Worst Team Dan Snyder Can Buy -My Sauces -Favraros -Emmitt Smith’s Debaclers -Matt Jones [...]
July 29th, 2008 at 4:32 am
Bill Cowhers attitude after he hasn’t had masturbated in 4 days
Will that fit?
July 31st, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Wilford Brimley’s Wet Farts
August 5th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Brett Favre and the Flaming Fuck Tards
I know it sounds more like a band name but it has a good ring to it. Say it once and you wont get it out of your head.
August 5th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Protested Heros of the Hitler Youth, Mike’s Fighting Dogs,
August 5th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
New England Cheatrots
August 5th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
10 Things I hate about Sleeping pills
Tim Russert Meets the hearse
Chicago Flaccid Bears
August 7th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
WWKLD?
Step 3: Loggins!
The Lucky Harpoons
Koko’s Boathouse
The 3-Year-Old References
five teams, yessir.
August 7th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
[...] Sports resolutions for the new sports year Forget about the first day of the first month of the new lunar year. Forget about January 1. The only new year that matters is the new sports year, and it’s starting now. There’s no date to celebrate, the new sports year is an awareness that gradually seeps into one’s being some time in late summer. NFL training camps are in full gear which means all the best news is about who’s not there. Fantasy football players are feverishly trying to fill their leagues and come up with suitably clever team names. [...]
August 7th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
A few I accidently posted to 07’s board:
Jim Mora Cowbell (I’m from Seattle)
Mike Shanihandjobs
HermAfrodites (for LJ owners)
Debbie Does Dallas Clark
August 7th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
John Clayton’s Crypt
August 10th, 2008 at 2:27 am
Boats ‘N Hos!
August 12th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
FNA Crowbars
August 12th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
David Car-cinogens
August 12th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Phlemphomas
August 14th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
“Your Mom’s Peral Necklace!” and “My Nutsack, Your Chin” are good ones.
August 14th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
OOps.. “YOUR MOM’S PEARL NECKLACE”.
Also.. “SPIKED YOUR MOM” is fun too!
August 14th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Ana L’Fisters
August 15th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Recent news:
GEORGE CARLIN’S COFFIN FACTORY
r.i.p.
BERNIE MAC’S SARCOIDOSIS SHOW
r.i.p.
ISAAC HAYES’ SCIENTOLOGY DEATH GROUP
r.i.p.
*gag*
August 15th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Matt Jones’ Crack Attack
August 15th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Winners in most leagues:
Brain WestBROOKBACK Mountain (cuz’ he’s a HomoRomo)
Romotoid Arthritis Crips
Adrian PeterINMYson (for all you nasty kiddie enjoyers out there) ~ yes, including priests.
Favre away from home!
Willis McGagsme (for the female owners out there)
Trey Wingo’s Dingo Lingo
Two Mannings & a Trophyless Dad (ZING!)
Drew RosenHOUSE of PAIN
Drew Rosenhaus’ Holdouts
Phillip Cry Me a Rivers
Brady QUINNtencential Losers
August 20th, 2008 at 11:09 am
Suga Ditkas
Rumple Foreskins
Camel Turf Toe
Slapaho Warriors
August 23rd, 2008 at 10:25 pm
R Kelly’s Golden VIP Club
Fetus Smashers
(Basketball) Smokin’ Trees and Strokin’ Threes
(Baseball) We’ve Got The Runs
August 25th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Umen Your A PUSSY
August 25th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Don’t Gore my Peterson
the name I always use…Sodomy Soldiers
August 27th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Straight Cash, Homey
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07G23zMGa4g
August 28th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Cum From Behind
Behind center reference for some (not what I had in mind)
August 28th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
y’dasantijuststandthere
Obama’sBabyMamas
Bidenmytime, movinalong
DowngoesBrady! DownGoesBrady! (Giselle nights)
Strahan’s drivers seat
September 1st, 2008 at 9:05 pm
From Wade ‘N Jerry:
Fucking Fat Sack of Fuck (made me laugh for a solid 5 minutes)
The Jason Garret Torture Club
September 2nd, 2008 at 8:40 pm
i see this team name also being used for a new TV show on the cw Decomposing Upshaw gotta love it
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Smells Like Kevin Faulk’s Jacket
September 4th, 2008 at 12:44 am
Salty nuts
September 5th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Who Stole My Luggage?
Tangy Taco Ticklers
July 1st, 2009 at 8:38 pm
Favre Dollar Footlong
September 1st, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Garridos Publishing Service?