WWOOOOO! I GET TO STAY IN NEW YORK AFTER ALL!
All you media fags can eat the crotch out of a rag doll. You thought I was gonna get traded! Get stuffed, Peter King! The agent says I’m staying! AND they’re releasing Kevin Boss!
WOOOOOOOOOOO!
WHAT THE FUCK!?
NOT AGAIN!
If Reggie Bush don’t want that girl of his to have that big ass no more, just slide that shit my way. I’ll raw dog it and bail.
That fagatron with the birthmark better be able to get me the fucking rock. I can swing a mean crutch!
Tags: what jersey will retarded giants fans wear now?, xmas ape
July 21st, 2008 at 3:13 pm
This is, without question, the worst thing that’s ever happened to New Orleans.
July 21st, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Jeremy Shockey. French Quarter. I can’t think of anything that could possibly go wrong.
July 21st, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Line Judge: What’s wrong with Shockey?
Referee: I don’t know, but he’s got 1 catch for 3 yards and he smells like Christian Slater.
July 21st, 2008 at 3:24 pm
New Orleans just got a little less chocolate.
/naggin’d
July 21st, 2008 at 3:26 pm
The last thing New Orleans needs is another hurricane.
July 21st, 2008 at 3:27 pm
when i think saint… i think homophobic egomaniacs. usually.
July 21st, 2008 at 3:30 pm
The Saints officially are no longer America’s team
July 21st, 2008 at 3:35 pm
I won’t miss having to watch him play the Eagles twice every year. Sure, he’s an egomanical ass-clown who’s not half as good as he thinks he is, but he still plays like a goddamn caveman. And the reaction quotes he’s going to give over the next year or so are sure to be absolute comedy gold.
July 21st, 2008 at 3:36 pm
To answer the question in the tag, I’d have to suggest Boss … the team’s already using him as a replacement, and can’t you just see legions of smug bridge-and-tunnel douchebags loving having “BOSS” across their backs? To say nothing of the Springsteen connection.
/smug brooklyn-born douchebag giant fan
July 21st, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Grimey – true to form, I am still just hanging out, playing Nintendo. Cock.
July 21st, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.
July 21st, 2008 at 4:08 pm
if it means less air time for shockey, i think everyone’s a winner in this deal.
July 21st, 2008 at 4:17 pm
NononononononononononononoNoNONONONONONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DAMMIT PAYTON!!
July 21st, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Wait! There’s a ray of hope!
The deal must be approved by the league and is contingent on Shockey passing a physical.
Whew! For a moment there I thought it’d really have a shot at happening.
July 21st, 2008 at 4:23 pm
[...] passing game back to where it was in 2006 (not bloody likely). He’ll also be asked to prematurely showboat for the cameras during any last-second [...]
July 21st, 2008 at 4:52 pm
George Bush does not care about Frat people!
July 21st, 2008 at 4:54 pm
This will give Shockey time to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity and build more homes for the good people of the noth ward. There’s nothing like getting traded to put this game in perspective.
July 21st, 2008 at 4:55 pm
ninth.
Spell check anyone?
July 21st, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Oh man, Mrs. Italian Spiderman is not gonna like this. Not one bit. I think her reaction will be like her fellow Saints fans TurleyGirlie & RBP, except with more swearing.
July 21st, 2008 at 5:35 pm
I kind of picture him going into Coughlin’s office screaming, “You may think I’m shit now, Mr. C, but every time that I play against you, I’m going to stick it up your fucking ass!!!”
July 21st, 2008 at 5:41 pm
New Orleans just got a whole lot better
http://www.collegefastbreak.com/
July 21st, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Jeremy Shockey + the Big Easy = great things to come…. I cannot wait for the “Adventures of the Redheaded Booty-Sex Child”. Too bad Mardi Gras does not start until February. http://www.betsportsweb.com
July 21st, 2008 at 8:37 pm
@Rexyback – Well Done.
July 21st, 2008 at 8:39 pm
The quote from Rosenhaus at the end of this story was priceless:
“He’s been one of the most successful tight ends in NFL history, but now I think he’s going to be more prolific in the Saints’ offense.”
Define success to me you dumb dick. Running your mouth and acting like you’re the man, then failing to back it up on the field, getting injured every MOTHERFUCKING year, and pouting like a little bitch when the team won it all without you? Good riddance to this hillbilly shithead. Kevin Boss FTW!
July 21st, 2008 at 10:12 pm
I would happily cut off one of my little toes if I could see a videotape of what Shockey said to G.M. Jerry Reese and Coach Coughlin after he was traded. For some reason, I think this would be better than Shockey’s “Bill Parcells is a homo” comment.
July 22nd, 2008 at 1:51 am
Ah, on before of myself, a single Saints fan, allow me to say, “Fuck.” I need a drink…
And no, Jeremy, you’re not coming with me. I’m drinking beer, not Yay-gah Bombs!
July 22nd, 2008 at 1:52 am
I believe I meant to say, “Ah, on BEHALF of myself…”
No homo.
That’s how that works, right?
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:47 am
Eyetie Spidey,
My first reaction was “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.”
I reined it in for the benefit of the youngsters here.
The only good thing I can see about this is that Colston shouldn’t be doubled so much anymore and Meachem might actually play this year…of course we have NO idea what he can do. Also, maybe Reggie can get open for swing passes WHICH IS HOW PAYTON SHOULD HAVE BEEN USING HIM ALL ALONG.
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:45 am
Gotta watch out for the kids. Won’t someone think of the children?!
Y’know, upon further reflection, this isn’t so bad, for the reasons you state. Totally agree w/ the swing passes thing because Reggie IS NOT A POUND THE MIDDLE TYPE OF BACK. Mrs. Eyetie Spidey (aka Deuce McAllister’s ACL) has been saying that for, like, ever.
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:52 am
@ TurleyGirlie – I spent large parts of the 2007 season yelling at my father for complaining about Reggie’s inability to pound it up the middle. Given that when Reggie was in college, he was on Sportscenter about every 8.3 seconds, and none of those seconds were devoted to 3-yards-and-a-cloud-of-dust plays. If anyone expected that from Reggie, they weren’t paying attention. Just sayin’.
I seriously hope to any deity currently paying attention that he spent his rehab time eating hot dogs and getting high so that he fails his physical. That would put an end to our long national nightmare…
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:31 pm
/agrees with devine
I expect to see Kevin Boss jerseys enter the NFL’s top 10 selling jerseys any week now.
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:29 pm
[...] I’ll never get tired of seeing Jeremy Shockey’s premature victory celebration. [KSK] [...]
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:59 pm
[...] but I don’t think I can sum up the general douchebaggery that is Shockey any better than Kissing Suzy Kolber did. Deadspin also wrote a nice piece on the newest Saint. Check ‘em [...]