We’re Not So Different, You and I
Dear Mary Beth King,
Hiya. Just wanted to say that we at KSK heard about your new internship via your Dad’s column. In case you’ve stopped reading it — don’t worry, most of us have — here’s what he said:
7. I think in the interest of full disclosure, I want to report that my daughter, Mary Beth King, has taken a PR internship with the Seattle Seahawks for the season. It’s going to sound hollow to say I had nothing to do with it, but I didn’t. She applied without telling me. New family rule: Mary Beth does not share conversations with Matt Hasselbeck or Mike Holmgren with her father.
I don’t think we’ve ever been properly introduced, but it just so happens that I’m one of the more enthusiastic Seahawks fans in this neck of the Inter-woods, so I thought I’d say hello. I’d be happy to hear from you about any and all Seahawks-related news, and I’d eagerly listen to what you have to say about any conversations you have with Mike Holmgren and Matt Hasselbeck. Unlike your father. *cough* Deadbeat! *cough*
Anyway, nice to make your acquaintance. Please feel free to email us any Seahawks news, or press releases, or… you know… photos of yourself.
Kindest regards,
Captain Caveman and the Gay Mafia
Tags: captain caveman, peter king
July 21st, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Urge. To play Tetris. Rising.
July 21st, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Peter’s new column:
why are my trash cans tipped over, and why is my daughter pregnant?
BURLEESSSSSSSOOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
July 21st, 2008 at 4:21 pm
It’s going to sound hollow to say I had nothing to do with it, but I didn’t.
Jesus, he’s a worse liar than Goldie Hawn.
July 21st, 2008 at 4:23 pm
No pubes this time please.
July 21st, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Sounds like Mary Beth needs to run into a few of the Seahawks players.
Wait…who are the Seahawks again?
July 21st, 2008 at 4:36 pm
She totally looks hammered in that picture
July 21st, 2008 at 4:43 pm
It’s my mission to meet her this season at Qwest. I’m newly single, determined, will be drunk at games, and charming. I’ll share. Pictures included. Video if she’s cool with it. If not, I was just joking.
July 21st, 2008 at 4:47 pm
The fact that people willingly move to Seattle never fails to baffle me.
July 21st, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Daily duties:
1) Bring Holmgren bucket of fish
2) Plan “Bring Your Gay Lover To the Game” Promotion
3) Bring Holmgren more fish.
July 21st, 2008 at 4:57 pm
@Lil Lebowski…
Fish? The man may look like a walrus, but unless “fish” is your code word for 2% fat-free Polish Pork Sausage, I ain’t buying it.
July 21st, 2008 at 5:01 pm
how no commenter named Mary Beth King has popped up yet is beyond me.
this does mean absolutely no more fucking field hockey recaps in the column, right?
*remembers he stopped reading King four years ago, smiles.*
July 21st, 2008 at 5:02 pm
It’s a good thing for her Jerramy Stevens got traded away. Now as long as she doesn’t get into Lofa Tatupu’s car, things will go just fine for MBK.
July 21st, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Do all of Peter King’s spawn resemble Death Cab album covers?
July 21st, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Peter King’s first thought on hearing of his daughter’s new job: how does this affect Brett Favre?
July 21st, 2008 at 5:26 pm
We’re Not So Different, You and I
True. Having Peter King as a father must’ve been like living in a war zone.
July 21st, 2008 at 5:27 pm
@Otto – A war zone? Maybe one that was filled with donuts and bratwurst.
July 21st, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Mary Beth is Peter’s undercover agent- she’s stealing Holgrem’s gravy recipe he learned in Green Bay. You might say the secret ingredient is love… no, I mean lard.
July 21st, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Between KSK and Pepper the Notre Dame Comeback Dolphin at EDSBS, this has been a banner day for football blogs. Well done, homos.
/geeked about the Irish having 13 quality verbals to UW’s 0
July 21st, 2008 at 5:38 pm
Actually, Chris, I meant Ufford’s time in Iraq. I think he’s mentioned it once or twice.
July 21st, 2008 at 5:45 pm
Another King Family Member in the NFL… fuck me in the goat ass
July 21st, 2008 at 5:45 pm
Mary Beth King’s first assignment with the Seahawks: penetrate the Gay Mafia.
July 21st, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Sure, my first thought was that Mary Beth was angling for a spite pregnancy with Uff’s kid to tweak her dad. Then, I caught a glimpse of the subtler hand at work here. This all part of Peter’s 10-year plan to wed her to the Starbuck’s empire. Nice work, Puppet Master. I’m on to you.
July 21st, 2008 at 8:17 pm
@Otto – Really? Ufford was in the army. Must have been in the air force or something where he didn’t see much action.
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:26 am
@Chris – It has to be the navy. Y’know, GAY Mafia and all.
July 22nd, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Julius Jones and Trufant are gonna tear that white pussy up!
July 22nd, 2008 at 1:06 pm
@ lymie – have you seen Trufant’s wife? yeah, I wouldn’t blame him for stepping to MBK. but that’s just me.
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:26 pm
You know…whenever I see a creepy stalker post, I just assume its Punter. Silly me!