Just in time for the Fourth, it’s time to talk a little ice cream.
I’ve been on this planet for a while now, so my method of eating ice cream has been more or less well established. I always get a cake cone and not a sugar cone. A cake cone catches drips more easily (though I often lick around the edge of the cone to prevent such occurrences. A little cone rim job, if you will). Plus, it has little nooks around the rim that fill with delicious ice cream runoff. It’s quite nice.
I also frown at any 12-year-old retard ice cream scooper who does NOT press the ice cream down into the cone, thus filling it. If the scooper fails to do this, I will use my tongue to push the ice cream down into the cone. That way, once I start biting into the cone, I be in flavor country. Aw yeah. Then I beat the scooper about the head with my wife’s diaper bag.
Not a big waffle cone fan. All waffle cones have that slit going down the middle, which channels the melted ice cream directly onto your wrist. Fuck. I’ve never gotten one of those oreo cookie cones that’s been dipped in fudge and rolled around in M&M’s. You need to be a special kind of fat person to get that.
Also, a note to the scoopers at Cold Stone: stop banging your fucking paddles on the counter. It’s fucking annoying.
Anyway, here’s your draft. Draft your favorite flavor of ice cream. I’ll allow sorbets, gelatos, and sherbets. But make it a FLAVOR. Don’t say “I love banana splits!” or something retarded like that. Pick one flavor only. Once you pick a flavor, wait 10 picks before taking another one. My pick: Mint chocolate chip.
Eat the pig… eat the pig… ZIGGY ZIGGY ZIGGY ZIG!!!
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I love the website layout ! How was it made. It’s very nice!
Hello, I was researching the internet and I saw your blog. Keep up the good work.
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Will you provide me personally with any more assets on this subject?
this is what I get for going camping, missing high class stuff like this.
takin’ sabre sundae for the win. count it!
ben and jerry’s coffee heath bar crunch
@mini dagger
I feel you my nigga, I feel you…
(but not in a tactile kind of way)
Friendly’s Heavenly Hash
“Tutti Fuckin Frutti”
/Rob Zombied
Big Daddy Drew cum-flavored ice cream
Nerds Blizzards at Dairy Queen.
Just Nerds and Vanilla soft serve.
what the hell were you all doing all day at work? didn’t you have the day off?
200+ plus picks in. Edy’s double-fudge brownie. suck it.
/eats spoonful and wonders why she won’t call me back I was totally nice and paid for dinner and I don’t care if I could have given her more flowers or maybe she thought my car was gay or did she hate my shirt or…
//sobs uncontrollably
Maker’s Mark Butter Pecan from Jeni’s Ice Creams in Columbus, OH.
MMMMMM creamy bourbon deliciousness.
Bovinity Divinity from B&J.
Very popular with Hindus.
UU Sorry for biting on spumone. I tried ctrl-f but spelled it spumoni. Don’t know which is correct, don’t care…enjoy your forf!
And since I’m late as always, I’ll take B&J’s pistachio pistachio. I know pistachio is taken but this is pistachio PISTACHIO. See there.
Dreyers had a premium label called “Dreamery” for awhile – christ that felt gay just typing it out. Anyway, they had a Tira Misu flavor that was unbelievable. My girlfriend and I used it as a marital aid. Better strait out of the carton. Fewer pubes.
butter my Pecan!!!
http://www.collegefastbreak.com/
I’m off to send a long weekend drinking and forgetting my name. Have a good long weekend gay mafia.
San Dimas High School football rules!!!!!
“Why’d you eat the ice cream off the floor?”
Spumoni!! You know, the tri-flavored Italian shit? Cherry, Pistach, Choc, Booze!! Hell and yes!
Hazelnut Gelatto. Who doesn’t enjoy the taste of post cereal milk.
I’m pretty sure that chocolate has already been selected. That would have been my pick, had I chimed in early enough. I’m not crazy about any other kind. Strawberry, maybe. Orange sherbet. That’s about it.
So, in direct contradiction to the instructions, I offer: the beer float. It’s pretty damn good. I don’t even like beer that much or vanilla ice cream, but together, they’re fucking awesome. Try one this weekend.
@dick_gozinia
There’s an Oberweis dairy store north of Indy. They have good stuff.
I’m grabbing the seasonal Oberweis Brandy Ice Cream.
You actually have to be 21 to buy it because it has so much damn Brandy in it. And I’m all for an ice cream that can get you both fat and drunk.
Ben and Jerry’s Coffee Heath Bar Crunch. I’ll sign that flavor for whatever contract in wants, and Goodell can eat a dick.
Do I get to draft a method of having it served to me as well? Because if so, I’d like it served on Jessica Alba’s…wait, pregnant, scratch that…Jessica Biel’s ass.
I see that Peachy Paterno and Peach Cobbler have been taken, but I’m going to assume that they’re slightly different than plain old Peach and take that.
Graeters is the bomb! Black Raspberry Chip is the winner, end of story.
rocky road from Isaly’s in the Pittsburgh area.. that is some damn good stuff!plus they make a helluva great chipped ham also
Green Tea Ice Cream. No cones, it must come in the form of mochi
OK then. Rules be damned.
I’ll take Mister Softee’s Vanilla Chocolate soft serve swirl with chocolate sprinkles in a sugar cone FTW Alex.
Those of you who grew up in the NY area know what I’m talking about.
@jackin’4beats: I’ll second that. I’m not a desert guy, I’m out of picks. Why don’t you go ahead and break the rules. I triple dog dare you.
Sorry smurphette…I was simply projecting my anger about being late to the draft on to you.
@smurphette: I’ll taste my BR sherbet while watching Spain beat Germany again.
@Rocco: Didn’t CTRL-F for that, so my bad, {with southern drawl}but ice cream runoff from her boobs sounds mighty tasty on a hot summers day with country time lemonade{end southern drawl}.
Damn it already somebody pick or I will be breakin’ them thar rules o’ BDD.
I’m way late, but my favorite is still on the board –
Haagen Dazs Fleur de Sel. http://www.haagendazs.com/reserve/fds.aspx
@ jackin’4beats: I already drafted Lucy Pinder. That includes any runoff from her boobs. Oh, and I snagged Michelle Marsh while I was at it.
/melted ice cream runoff from Lucy Pinder’s boobs sounds damn good right now.
Haagen Dazs mango sorbet…mmm and yes.
Goddamnit I had to do real work this morning and missed the freakin’ draft. I’ll take whatever runoff I can get from Lucy Pinder’s boobs.
Oh and I take neapolitan ice cream – strawberry, vanilla and Chocolate – all rolled into one glorious flavor.
It is officially a flavor so don’t give me crap about all three being taken separately.
/flips the bird
@Rocco: You will not be disappointed.
@ smurphette: No hate here. I came in around 86 comments deep, late to the prom as always. I shall have to visit my local Baskin Robbins establishment and taste this fine rainbow sherbet you speak of.
Haagen Daz Bailey’s Irish Cream
@Otto: Concur on the Apple Pie from B&J…..can’t believe they stopped that one. Stupid hippies.
@Rocco: Sorry, but the Baskin Robbins version is superior to all others. Seriously, I don’t even like any of the other ones I’ve tried. There is no comparison.
Hey, don’t hate. I didn’t pick until like 100 picks in, so you had your chance.
As long as the sorbet seal has been broken, I’m going with Ciao Bella Blood Orange Sorbet.
It’s as tasty as Italian Spiderman.
@Jackass: Damn that smurphette! Though I’m not familiar with the BR rainbow sherbet. I get it in the 1 gallon tubs at the grocery store. It used to have bits of pineapple in it too but they did away with that for some reason.
/Not really that mad at smurphette.
It’s “Eat the ziggy, ziggy pig” not “ziggy ziggy ziggy zig.” HOW COULD YOU SHIT ALL OVER BILL AND TED LIKE THAT?
Oh, and I’ll take Cake Ice Cream. Not to be confused with cake batter ice cream.
Why would a company stop making something that criminally delicious?
Bewildering. It was like crack.
Looks like you can demand that they reinstate it. American Apple Pie.
http://www.benjerry.com/our_company/contact_us/forms/resurrect.cfm
@Rocco
smurphette took rainbow sherbet in some form or another. Which brings me to my wrath for smurphette….better check your delicious rainbow sherbet for some delicious tasting poison next time.
@Otto Man
Why would a company stop making something that criminally delicious? I’ve never had it, but I’d like to mainline it at my desk til I leave at 3 today.
Drunken Monkey ice cream is not only the best ice cream ever made, but is indeed the best dessert on the planet. It can only be found at Nola’s in (you guessed it) New Orleans.
Some of the ice cream Cheech and Chong were selling.
Daquiri Ice from Baskin & Robbins, and add some rum….Yummy!
No love for Thrifty’s old 45 cent triple scoops? Chocolated Malted Crunch please.
/still wear an onion on my belt
Bacon ice cream is surprisingly good. I won’t be making it any time soon, but it’s not the Fear Factor challenge it sounds like. I’ve never had barbecue ice cream, though.
Cold Stone sweet cream. Which, yes, sounds even gayer than cookies and cream, but at least it’s not orange sherbet.
Cherry Jubilee from Bechtel’s in Lewisburg, PA. Stupid name, but fucking tasty.
@Naptown: No triple dog dare, I just didn’t really think that one through.
@smuphette: I’m from Buffalo. I’m sure there are similarities with Indy.
@Jackass: Technically, I didn’t take rainbow sherbet yet. Unless someone else did and I missed it, it’s all yours.
Does Italian Ice count here? If so, I’m taking Lemon Ice from Anderson’s.
http://www.andersonscustard.com/</url?
mocha chip, aka Obama Fudge Chunk
at the world famous gilroy garlic festival they make garlic ice cream. and while it probalby tastes like shit (not garlic) it might turn paper clear.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilroy_Garlic_Festival
I’ve seen bacon ice cream AND barbecue ice cream at a shop in Dewey.
Yeah, I won’t be sampling that.
@Otto
There was a summer several years back when I gained about ten pounds. I’m pretty sure it was because I was eating a pint of that apple pie every other day.
Raspberry sorbet……yes my favorite flavor ends in a French accent. Shoot me. I got here late and rainbow sherbet (also quite fruitty I know) was taken.
Reese’s Peanut Buttercup Concrete at Ted Drewes. Why yes, I will eat it upside down.
Haagen Dazs Mayan Chocolate.
Chocolate. Cinnamon. Slightest hint of a pepper kick.
Best thing to come out of my wife’s pregnancy… except, y’know, the kids.
@futuremrsrickankiel
duly noted. living in california will make this a slow process. i’ve been conditioned to run 2 miles for every scoop of ice cream eaten.
with that out of the way, i can’t believe no one said raspberry cheesecake in a waffle cone.
Bacon ice cream anyone?
Ben and Jerry’s briefly made an apple pie flavor — vanilla ice cream, cinnamon covered baked apples, and bits of pie crust.
Unbelievably good.
Popsicle brand fudgicle*
*fudgsicle
mmmmmmm….BACON
I recommend a slow, steady gorging process combined with assal horizontalogy.
Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use pop tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.
@ABM & Monkey Business
The Bobtail by me on Armitage closed after being open for only one summer. I assumed it closed because it was shitty. Was I mistaken?
For my next pick I’ll go with a brownie/oreo/fudge/chocolate cake mess from Treats.
Chocolate cake ice cream
Brownie bits
Oreo bits
Hot fudge
Swirl that shit up in a blender.
/likes chocolate
homemade vanilla ice cream with cointreau on top.
yes, i was raised by alcoholics.
your point?