Dan Patrick is reuniting with Keith Olbermann on NBC’s Football Night In America. That’s the good news. The bad news?
Besides Patrick and Olbermann, “Football Night” features Bob Costas, Cris Collinsworth, Tiki Barber, Jerome Bettis and Peter King.
If you have Patrick and Olbermann, do you really need Bob Costas, Cris Collinsworth, Tiki Barber, Jerome Bettis and Peter King? I vote fuck and no. I saw Tiki Barber host the July 4th Macy’s fireworks show. If you like everything you watch to feel like a Proactiv infomercial, Tiki’s your boy.
More bad news: Patrick has spent over a decade now on a radio show that consists solely of him telling you what’s coming up next on his radio show. Oh, and Olbermann has gone completely fucking nuts and now believes himself to be Edward R. Murrow. Even Barbra Streisand thinks the fucker is obnoxious.
Also: NBC, making their nostalgia synergistic, will probably have Hootie and the Blowfish sing that stupid fucking Joan Jett song they use for the opener.
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Lose Peter King. Lose Tiki Barber. Trade Jerome Bettis to the new “Inside the NFL” on Showtime for a late round draft pick and cash considerations. Use said draft pick on a kid who’s gonna hold a clipboard for Costas over the next few years…until, ah, what do I know?
How about the Dead Guy of the Week? “Look who’s rolling into the studio now… it’s John Candy! Say John, have you lost weight? Tell us about your new movie.”
stayed tuned with a box of kleenex handy when they trot out some human interest stories hosted by joe garagiola.
Maybe they can talk Tiki into retiring from braodcasting because (enter name) is a douchbag control freak and NBC can go on to have a really great season covering football.
And we can all laugh at Tiki……….again.
no amount of bad news can overcome the fact that Bryant Gumble is not doing games for the NFL Network.
except, of course, if Favre comes back and we have to suffer through 3499 clips about him throughout the year….again.
Can’t wait to watch Olbermann go on a 10 minute tirade during Vikings vs. Chiefs highlights. Oh wait, I’ll won’t…I’d have killed myself somewhere around the 1:45 mark.
So is Peter King’s segment going to be a three-minute soliloquy directed at Brett Favre, begging him to return until he does?
Will someone please explain to why Tiki Barber is still there? Between his smarmt “i love myself” grin, his throwing Eli under the bus, and being a shitty TV personality, I can’t see why NBC keeps such a tool.
Well, OK, they’ve kept Costas all these years, so I guess that answers my question.
II heard Dennis Miller’s brief stint on MNF caused a bunch of suicides around the country- Uh, murder-suicides, that is.
On NBC, Peter King is going to propose to Brett Favre on the air, get spurned, lock himself in the buffet room and spend the rest of his days alone wearing his Packers #4 muu-muu, a la Miss Haversham. That’s Must See TV.
Sadly, I’d still choose that collection of assclowns over John Madden.
BOOM!
Should be good. That way, the evil overlords at Fox and ESPN can take out all their enemies with one fell swoop.
Dream booth (any sport except soccer). Barry Melrose, Charles Barkley and Al Michaels.
That DP SI column gets covered in shit when I wipe my ass with it every week, that’s for damn sure.
Adam Sandler talking about his shitty new movie? DON’T FUCKING CARE.
This just in Jerry Seinfeld has been brought in to do a segment about a major upset that happened that week in a segment call “What’s the deal with the…” If no major upsets Jerry will then do “What’s the deal with the lack of upsets this week?”
I heard Alf and the “Family Ties” gang are available for work- NBC still owns them.
Who else is left that NBC could bring in?
I mean, can they talk Don Cherry into switching sports? Or bring in Joe Rogan to do the “JACKED UP!” segments? What about getting Dr. Phil to have a segment where they talk to former athletes about their dependancies on large jewelry?
The sky’s the limit aboard the S.S. Football Night in America. Hell, they’ll even bring back Isaac to man the bar.
Monday Night Football hasn’t been this smarmy since they tried the Dennis Miller thing. I can’t wait!
Does this mean Bill O’Reilly and his co-anchor from “A Current Affair” will call games for Fox now?
“You think YOU’RE excited? Feel these nipples!”
This is going to be so sad. You know the NBC producers are are going to be leaning hard on them to act like they did when they started on SC together in (checks wikipedia) 1992 (fuck, I’m old).
fucking great. now i have to hear about the sports guy’s dream of two fucking tables on football-related studio show.
True story: I actually drove Rebecca Lobo around when I was doing a PA gig for the WNBA (laugh all you want; you find me a job that pays $500 a day, all meals included, and consists of you sitting on your ass doing nothing). I had to pick her up from her hotel in Indy in my car (06 Civic Coupe), and it was easily one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. She’s 6’6″ or something like that, and her knees were almost above the dash. Nice lady though.
I’m not sure which of Keith’s awkward male sidekicks I miss more – Dan Patrick or Rebecca Lobo.
If only I could remember which one hails from Detroit
“I’m Dennis Packer, and alongside me in the booth are Dick Enberg, Dick Vitale, Jim Palmer, Mel Allen, Curt Gowdy, Tim McCarver, and Dr. Joyce Brothers,”
and boom goes the dynamite
Y’know what was really great? When SportsCenter would show a crucial basketball shot (or field goal) highlight and Patrick would do that staccato, high-pitched “GOOD!” exclamation. It was a fucking laff-riot the first 400,000 times I heard it, but then, somehow it got even better. I mean, you would think it would get old pretty quick, but it never did!!! Man, I can’t wait for him to dust that chestnut off for NBC.