Competitor (seed): Tom Zbikowski (4)
Nickname: Tommy Z (think about it…)
Reach: Taken by the Ravens in the third round.
Ring Music: Notre Dame Victory March
Hometown: Arlington Heights, Illinois. It’s also been called home by a deaf chick, a couple of soccer players, a YouTube guy, and a dickhole (actually the deaf chick called it something more like “ho-am”).
Pedigree: He’s actually a real boxer.
Strength: He’s one of those rare white athletes that doesn’t require qualifiers like “scrappy” or “gritty”.
Predilection towards violence:
Fighting Style: Tommy would prefer to work his way inside against the larger boxers in the heavyweight division. He can land looping and lunging power shots from the outside, but if he stays on the end of his opponents punches he’s going to find himself in a lot of trouble. Since he’s a Notre Dame product he already fights like a champion today, or so he likes to think.
Competitor (seed): Vernon Gholston (13)
Nickname: The Ghost
Reach: The Jets drafted him despite his aversion to football.
Sponsor: APT Pro Lifting Gear
Ring Music: Pump It Up
Hometown: Detroit, Michigan
Pedigree: Gholston has been an avid weightlifter and fitness buff since a young age.
Weakness: Buckeyes are notorious bitches.
Predilection towards violence: See hometown.
Fighting Style: Gholston is all about power and speed. He attacks his opponent by going straight forward and flurrying with combinations. He relies heavily on brute force which leads to a lot of quick bouts, but his defense is non-existent.
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news & humor before everyone else.