Comments on: Secret Stadia Conduct Codes Revealed

By: Reese

Reese — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 18:56:12 +0000

Actually, we get around the fattie population problem at Lambeau by having bleachers instead of seats. There you only have problems if you have an aisle position, in which case you sit on cement staircase…

By: Otto Man

Otto Man — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 16:00:35 +0000

Soldier Field:

No one admitted with cholesterol levels under 300 and/or Cheez Whiz bottle hooked up to an IV.

By: jackin'4beats

jackin'4beats — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 15:38:49 +0000

Texas Stadium – Fans who do not buy at least one piece of merchandise from the Double-J’s club shops will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

Yeee Hawwwww he is fuckin’ crazy.

/for the cute southern belles you must go to the college campuses and stop hanging out in front of the meth houses. UVA FTW!

By: handfulofpeter

handfulofpeter — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 15:09:35 +0000

Pittsburgh Steelers fans are required to remove the corpes of black men being dragged from the back of their pickup trucks prior to entering Heinz Field parking lots.

By: handfulofpeter

handfulofpeter — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 14:49:36 +0000

Colts fans are prohibited from interfering with the artifical crowd noise pumped in during the games, under penalty of being pistol-whipped by Marvin Harrison.

By: Jeff V

Jeff V — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 13:52:13 +0000

Why no love for FEDEX field?

By: Animal Mother

Animal Mother — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 12:52:49 +0000

Jets current and future stadiums

There must be at least 4 drunken fistfights at any point in time during the game, so as to distract the attention of everyone from the shitty game the Jets are playing. Failure to do so will result in having to watch the Jets.

Also, all references to Pennington’s arm strength and any female is cause for immediate removal. It’s old. His arm is weak. He’s on your team. Get over it.

By: Monkey Business

Monkey Business — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 12:02:10 +0000

@New South NB –

Executive South? So, is that like a slicked back mullet? Cutoff jeans and a jacket?

For the record, I’ve spent a great deal of time in the South, seeing as my father lives in Alabama. The fried chicken is okay, but I’ve had better in Chicago (Harold’s Chicken Shack FTW!), the southern belles are all hiding somewhere, because the only ones I saw weighed like 300 pounds and were missing most of their teeth, and I don’t even know what “hanging a dip” is.

Actually, Chicago is a lot like the south, minus the guns, religion, and overt racism.

By: Jay

Jay — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 10:24:57 +0000

M&T Bank Stadium – The big box of guns by the entrances are for fans who have come without weaponry. Anybody found already in possession of guns and still taking them will be shot, shanked and shot again.

By: New South NB

New South NB — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 04:57:28 +0000

-”Panther fans MUST bring their own spittoons.”-

Man I was hoping for something better… like maybe:
Panthers fans (or corporate attendees to Bank Of America stadium) are required to be mildly entertained, but not care too much about the outcome of the game. The important thing is to blame ‘Jake’ whenever anything goes wrong and avoid too much traffic by leaving in the third quarter.

Maybe you should take a trip down to Charlotte sometime and learn how to poke better fun at us. We’ve got great fried chicken, beautiful southern belles, and sometimes we’ll even ‘hang a dip’, but it’s executive south here now in bank town.