Matt Ryan + show-tunes = FABU !!!
07.11.08Here we have Atlanta Falcons’ first-round picks Matt Ryan and Sam Baker enjoying the theater standing uncomfortably at center-stage while the cast of Oklahoma! sings and cavorts about. Hoo boy, awkward doesn’t even begin to describe this scene. These two couldn’t have looked more uncomfortable if they had porcupines in their shorts.
Despite consultation with the media savvy, I’m unable to determine what exactly this video is intended to promote. The Falcons? Rogers & Hammerstein aren’t going to move season tickets. Maybe it is intended to attract patrons of the musical theater? If so, Ryan and Baker have to qualify as the worst Curly and Laurey ever. (What, no kiss? This is supposed to be a wedding scene.) Furthermore how is serenading someone with the Oklahoma state song supposed to welcome them to Atlanta? This video is giving me tiredhead.
“C’mon Ryan, is this what we’ve worked on all week? From the top. One, two… step, slide… heel ball change. And Baker, you call that a promenade? We’re going to be here as long as it takes, people! Don’t forget your jazz hands!”


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As a UK-based Falcons fan, I found your blog on google and read a few of your other Falcons posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
This “hazing” thing is going to damn far.
♫ double j, be fuckin’ crazy tonight!! ♫
/secret wishes for end-of-summer KSK musikal crossover-bukkake
Nice FOC clip, welcome to a year and a half ago… faggots. (I’m still angry about ape ruining Two Face for me.)
Both Matt and Sam are hilarious. The are looking so awkward and out of place. Speaking of awkward, Have you seen the “at home with Danica Patrick” talk show spoof Video? It’s pretty funny.
I think Freddie Falcon was giving us the international hand-motion for jerking off at the end. Well done, Freddie.
Sam Baker’s expression says, “This is the gayest thing since Gay came to Gaytown.”
Choreography by Rosie O’Donnell.
Could be worse – they could be doing the same thing at one of Tyler Perry’s Shit house plays.
Micheal Vick does not approve.
I especially enjoyed including the mascot in the cast. I’ve never seen Oklahoma but if they had a giant, football playing bird of prey swooping down on covered wagons, well I might just have to give that a gander.
“To be continued…”
Lucky us.
The whole time, Baker was trying to think of other sports agents that he knew, and how to fire his current one…
Brady Quinn never wanted to be a Falcon more in his life.
John Wilkes Booth was about 150 years too early.
Maybe they’re trying to attract more, uh, “non-traditional male” fans to Falcons games? Atlanta is known for having a lot of, um, “non-traditional” types.
is this the best that they could up with… boo.
Um, I meant to say “needs more kick line”.
Needs more jazz hands.
Dirty South ain’t what it used to be.