Iggles fans, WTF is up with this guy? Philly is supposed to a hardass sports town, yet you tolerate this twerp? This guy wouldn’t last a week in Pittsburgh. Sorry Philly, but when you’ve got an unofficial mascot more embarrassing than the barrel guy, you forfeit any hardass status.

Part of Birdman’s problem is that he has adopted a moniker that has been used repeatedly by other amici aves over the years. According to the Old Gray Lady, this version of Birdman is an ordinary carpenter during the week. That’s just not as compelling as some of these other Birdmen of note…

A. Harvey Birdman Super-hero lawyer. I often repeat Harvey’s catchphrase, “I’ll take the case!” Of course when I say it, I’m talking about a case of GooGoo Clusters.

B. “Birdman” aka “Baby” aka “The #1 Stunna” If I tried to make pigeon calls sound tough I would probably adopt plenty of aliases too.

C. “The Birdman of Alcatraz” Robert Stroud Researched canaries while in the joint. Wrote some books. Shanked a screw.

D. “The Birdman” Koko B. Ware WWF mainstay during the mid-to-late 80s. Sang lead on the spectacularly crappy “Piledriver”. On a scale of one to gay, this video ranks Liberace.

Come to think of it, all these other Birdmen are pretty lousy too. If Philly doesn’t mind this tights-wearing twinkie, then I don’t either. Go nuts, dude.