Favraro Gets All Cameron Crowe, Shakes Up Gay QB Balance
We’re running on a bit of a skeleton staff here this week with Drew getting a rum and coke enema at the Cape and flubby out with his traveling band of hillbilly bears, so we’re doing our best to keep up with the travails of the gayest QBs in the NFL, many of whom are struggling to reach an understanding, or even climax, with the objects of their affection.
Courtesy of Hot Clicks is Bretty Boy going for his own Lloyd Dobler effect.
Before even that, Jeff Garcia visibly bore the frustration of a hopeful yet strung along bride-to-be when he discusses a possible Favre liaison with that philanderer Jon Gruden:
“Jon Gruden hasn’t given you an answer yet?” Garcia said. “He loves quarterbacks. But he likes to just date. He doesn’t like to marry.”
Silly goosey Garcia, don’t you know how stereotypically promiscuous the gays are? You dumb old queen, let a real man, like Brady Quinn show you how to work it. He’s not concerned with settling down, not when his calves are looking so good in those black tights! Woooo! Look out, the other six gay guys in Ohio! Brady’s ready to stalk you in the night like a cat.
Tags: gay quarterbacks, xmas ape
July 30th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Terrell Owens was caught crying on camera about this post
July 30th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
in all seriousness, ohio is a secret gay mecca. the gay mafia should know why quinn dropped so far.
July 30th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Next time he should try playing “Shock the Monkey”.
July 30th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
This post covered “gay,” while the one before covered “mafia.”
Yeah, I think we’re in good hands.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Do the members of the Gay Mafia kiss each other as a greeting?
July 30th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
That Brady Quinn photo…that wasn’t Photoshopped, was it?
/that’s one happy man
July 30th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Say Anything is one of the shittiest movies ever. Seeing even a few minutes of it on TV makes me physically ill.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
“[I'm] going to choke it to death until somebody pulls my grip off of it,” Garcia told the assembled beat writers at his first day of training camp. He sounds serious. ” If (Favre) comes in, as much as the accolades are huge on that side, I’m the starting quarterback, and it’s going to be a battle.”
By “it” does Garcia mean “Jon Gruden’s penis”?
July 30th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Quinn: “Feels like I’m wearing nothing at all … nothing at all … nothing at all …”
Stupid sexy Quinn.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Would any self-respecting gay man pair black tights with brown shorts?
-5 fashion points, Mr. Quinn.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Those are clearly brown tights. As Leigh said, Gay Man 101 says no mixing black tights with brown shorts.
That goes to my whole conspiracy theory that Brady is so appalled by the orange and brown uniforms in Cleveland that he’s going to attempt to get traded. He agrees to go to Tampa Bay on one condition…Buccaneer Bruce logo returns.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
I don’t know why Miss Quinn is getting the benefit of the doubt that these are tights rather than hose…
July 30th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
I’m glad to see that at least one female is repulsed by “Say Anything”. Whenever I tell a chick I hate that movie, I get called a sexist asshole. It’s indeed true that I am a sexist asshole, but it’s not because I hate “Say Anything”.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
@Gino: Loathing that movie does not mean you’re a sexist asshole, it only means you probably haven’t had a lobotomy.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
dammit, I clicked on hillbilly bears expecting a video of banjo-playing robots, but got nothing. although don’t fix the link if it was a picture of shirtless fat guys in overalls making out.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
We’re running on a bit of a skeleton staff here this week
I DIDN’T COME HERE TO HEAR YOUR EXCUSES YOU BUNCH OF FLAMING, MARAUDING MAGGOTS. NOW GET OUT THERE AND WRITE SOME MADE UP OPINIONS ABOUT NFL PLAYERS!!!!
/Cowher’d
July 30th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Lloyd Dobler was right in a way…kickboxing was almost the sport of the future. Almost. Then someone decided to involve sweaty man-hugging and it became MMA.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
@ Porky1:
Sweaty man-hugging AND bicycle shorts.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
That fucking movie didn’t have nearly enough kickboxing.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
@Gino
Might I recommend “No Retreat, No Surrender”?
July 30th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
It sickens me that the Browns have adopted a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy just to accomodate an overpaid clipboard stand. Pose, Brady, pose.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
@porky1
Excellent call on “No Retreat, No Surrender”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fszUyLflAQo
Also, what was the name of that Jean-Claude van Damme movie about a kickboxer who enters the kickboxing world and fights other kickboxers including a super bad kickboxer?
July 30th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
@porky1
Excellent call on “No Retreat, No Surrender”. Also, what was the name of that Jean-Claude van Damme movie about a kickboxer who enters the kickboxing world and fights other kickboxers including a super bad kickboxer?
July 30th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
@Gino
Doesn’t that describe ALL of Van Damme’s movies?
July 30th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
BREAKING NEWS: Jean-Claude van Damme is standing outside Steven Segal’s bedroom window with a boom box playing Brady Quinn’s karaoke version of “Your Eyes”.
July 30th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
@ Gino
Was it Gymkata?
July 30th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
@porky1, Smello
In van Damme’s native Belgium the movie in question was called “The Tiny Coke Fiend’s Adventures in Implausible Acrobatic Fisticuffs.”
July 30th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
How did Farvaro get the 928 from Risky Business? I suppose you’ll have Favraro dancing in his underwear next. (Please don’t)
July 30th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Ohio is CRAWLING with gay people! It’s the new Fire Island. Where have you been?
July 30th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Damn my shitty dialup connection.
Also have to come down against tights and shorts with flats and shoulder pads. Could someone please photoshop some seven-inch stiletto ballet boots and a dick gag on that boy?
July 31st, 2008 at 9:28 am
How can you call a quarterback gay just for integrating a perfectly executed plie’ into his mechanics? I for one would like to see more strapping young men mix ballet in with their football maneuvres.
July 31st, 2008 at 10:14 am
I think that one was Bloodsport maybe?
August 2nd, 2008 at 12:32 am
I think you may be thinking of the aptly titled “Kickboxer”, co-starring Dennis Alexio and some tall, vaguely Asian guy with a braid.
Brady Quinn and Terrell Owens have it on Laserdisc, VHS AND Dvd.
August 3rd, 2008 at 2:09 am
Ohio is a mecca.
Brady’s legs say “Dancing Queen”, but his arms say “I am Odin. I will tear your heart out and drink the sweet juices given by Thor”.