We’re running on a bit of a skeleton staff here this week with Drew getting a rum and coke enema at the Cape and flubby out with his traveling band of hillbilly bears, so we’re doing our best to keep up with the travails of the gayest QBs in the NFL, many of whom are struggling to reach an understanding, or even climax, with the objects of their affection.
Courtesy of Hot Clicks is Bretty Boy going for his own Lloyd Dobler effect.
Before even that, Jeff Garcia visibly bore the frustration of a hopeful yet strung along bride-to-be when he discusses a possible Favre liaison with that philanderer Jon Gruden:
“Jon Gruden hasn’t given you an answer yet?” Garcia said. “He loves quarterbacks. But he likes to just date. He doesn’t like to marry.”
Silly goosey Garcia, don’t you know how stereotypically promiscuous the gays are? You dumb old queen, let a real man, like Brady Quinn show you how to work it. He’s not concerned with settling down, not when his calves are looking so good in those black tights! Woooo! Look out, the other six gay guys in Ohio! Brady’s ready to stalk you in the night like a cat.



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Ohio is a mecca.
Brady’s legs say “Dancing Queen”, but his arms say “I am Odin. I will tear your heart out and drink the sweet juices given by Thor”.
I think you may be thinking of the aptly titled “Kickboxer”, co-starring Dennis Alexio and some tall, vaguely Asian guy with a braid.
Brady Quinn and Terrell Owens have it on Laserdisc, VHS AND Dvd.
I think that one was Bloodsport maybe?
How can you call a quarterback gay just for integrating a perfectly executed plie’ into his mechanics? I for one would like to see more strapping young men mix ballet in with their football maneuvres.
Damn my shitty dialup connection.
Also have to come down against tights and shorts with flats and shoulder pads. Could someone please photoshop some seven-inch stiletto ballet boots and a dick gag on that boy?
Ohio is CRAWLING with gay people! It’s the new Fire Island. Where have you been?
How did Farvaro get the 928 from Risky Business? I suppose you’ll have Favraro dancing in his underwear next. (Please don’t)
@porky1, Smello
In van Damme’s native Belgium the movie in question was called “The Tiny Coke Fiend’s Adventures in Implausible Acrobatic Fisticuffs.”
@ Gino
Was it Gymkata?
BREAKING NEWS: Jean-Claude van Damme is standing outside Steven Segal’s bedroom window with a boom box playing Brady Quinn’s karaoke version of “Your Eyes”.
@Gino
Doesn’t that describe ALL of Van Damme’s movies?
@porky1
Excellent call on “No Retreat, No Surrender”. Also, what was the name of that Jean-Claude van Damme movie about a kickboxer who enters the kickboxing world and fights other kickboxers including a super bad kickboxer?
@porky1
Excellent call on “No Retreat, No Surrender”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fszUyLflAQo
Also, what was the name of that Jean-Claude van Damme movie about a kickboxer who enters the kickboxing world and fights other kickboxers including a super bad kickboxer?
It sickens me that the Browns have adopted a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy just to accomodate an overpaid clipboard stand. Pose, Brady, pose.
@Gino
Might I recommend “No Retreat, No Surrender”?
That fucking movie didn’t have nearly enough kickboxing.
@ Porky1:
Sweaty man-hugging AND bicycle shorts.
Lloyd Dobler was right in a way…kickboxing was almost the sport of the future. Almost. Then someone decided to involve sweaty man-hugging and it became MMA.
We’re running on a bit of a skeleton staff here this week
I DIDN’T COME HERE TO HEAR YOUR EXCUSES YOU BUNCH OF FLAMING, MARAUDING MAGGOTS. NOW GET OUT THERE AND WRITE SOME MADE UP OPINIONS ABOUT NFL PLAYERS!!!!
/Cowher’d
dammit, I clicked on hillbilly bears expecting a video of banjo-playing robots, but got nothing. although don’t fix the link if it was a picture of shirtless fat guys in overalls making out.
@Gino: Loathing that movie does not mean you’re a sexist asshole, it only means you probably haven’t had a lobotomy.
I’m glad to see that at least one female is repulsed by “Say Anything”. Whenever I tell a chick I hate that movie, I get called a sexist asshole. It’s indeed true that I am a sexist asshole, but it’s not because I hate “Say Anything”.
I don’t know why Miss Quinn is getting the benefit of the doubt that these are tights rather than hose…
Those are clearly brown tights. As Leigh said, Gay Man 101 says no mixing black tights with brown shorts.
That goes to my whole conspiracy theory that Brady is so appalled by the orange and brown uniforms in Cleveland that he’s going to attempt to get traded. He agrees to go to Tampa Bay on one condition…Buccaneer Bruce logo returns.
Would any self-respecting gay man pair black tights with brown shorts?
-5 fashion points, Mr. Quinn.
Quinn: “Feels like I’m wearing nothing at all … nothing at all … nothing at all …”
Stupid sexy Quinn.
“[I'm] going to choke it to death until somebody pulls my grip off of it,” Garcia told the assembled beat writers at his first day of training camp. He sounds serious. ” If (Favre) comes in, as much as the accolades are huge on that side, I’m the starting quarterback, and it’s going to be a battle.”
By “it” does Garcia mean “Jon Gruden’s penis”?
Say Anything is one of the shittiest movies ever. Seeing even a few minutes of it on TV makes me physically ill.
That Brady Quinn photo…that wasn’t Photoshopped, was it?
/that’s one happy man
Do the members of the Gay Mafia kiss each other as a greeting?
This post covered “gay,” while the one before covered “mafia.”
Yeah, I think we’re in good hands.
Next time he should try playing “Shock the Monkey”.
in all seriousness, ohio is a secret gay mecca. the gay mafia should know why quinn dropped so far.
Terrell Owens was caught crying on camera about this post