EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY – The Bounty On Brett Favre’s Tissue Box Is Now $50
PETER KING, FEBRUARY 5th:
I love how Favre announced he was coming back on the Friday of Super Bowl week, and told the local paper in town. That is so classic Favre. He picked the time where the world would be most focused on something else, so he could get the minimum amount of attention. Beautiful.
I think he’d rather edge his 465 acres in Hattiesburg, Miss., and worry about how to contain the runaway beaver population than to have the bright lights on him, even in a small town like Green Bay, for five months a year.
Favre loved being just a guy.
“It’s crazy to me that I’m the guy they’re all talking about, and the story is out there everywhere, and I have nothing to do with it,” he said. “It’s not something I’m thinking about. It’s kind of funny. Even when I’m retired, they won’t let me stay retired.”
According to Chris Mortensen on ESPN’s NFL Live, Brett Favre is seriously considering coming back to the NFL for one more season. Mortensen said Favre told Packers’ coach Mike McCarthy that he has the “itch to play again.” ESPN’s NFL Live broke the news exclusively at the 4 p.m. hour. Packers’ conrerback Al Harris reiterates. “He’s got the itch.”
What a shock. I’m sure he’s coming back for love of the game. THEY KEEP PULLIN’ YA BACK IN, BRETTY! I’m sure it has nothing to do with being a shameless, gaping gash for attention.
Get fucked, assbag. I got something for you to itch. It’s called poison oak. I hope it gets on the inside of your dick.
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, cornerbacks rejoice, FUCK YOU BRETT FAVRE, I hope Jared Allen breaks both his kneecaps, runaway beaver now my fantasy team name
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:34 pm
This requires an act of god. Goodell should intervene and say that if he comes back, he can only play for Arizona.
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Drew, be careful about typing angry – you’ll smudge your freshly painted nails.
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Peter King is relieved he may soon have a jock strap with fresh game sweat to huff while jerking it feverishly as he types.
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Aaron Rodgers is about to go all Gillooly on his ass.
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Fuck this guy.
Drew: Here is a little Josh Homme rage for you. I promise you, I will be 10 times as pissed as he is in this clip if this snowball throwing fuckhead comes back for “the love of the game.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYMJ1mGlObc
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:48 pm
That’s funny, Drew. My fantasy team name is “FUCK YOU BRETT FAVRE”.
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Honestly? I love Brett Favre. Love watching him play. Love that he’s kept playing. Loved seeing him in top form last year. Quite frankly would make out with him given the opportunity.
But seriously?
Fuck.
This.
Noise.
It’s so sad when a great athlete descends into the annals of cheap punchlines (see also: O’Neill, Shaquille; Clemens, Roger; Prior, Mark). When said athlete appears to be actually making the decision to reduce their career to a tired joke, it’s just fucking frustrating. Get lost, Brett.
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Also: I think he’s giving me the finger in that photo. Me, personally.
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Depressing, yet predictable day for the few, the proud, the members of the Aaron Rodgers Fan Club.
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Seriously, if you have ever been to Hattiesburg MS you will understand why the man can’t stay unretired.
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:06 pm
I guess I wouldn’t want to stay home and look at Brett Favre’s wife, either.
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:13 pm
As a Favre fan I think he should stay home and give Deanna creampies for 17 weeks, but as a Packer fan I believe I should write a song about this joyous day and teach it to summer school kids.
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:13 pm
*Shotgun blast*
“Rodgers won’t be a problem.” – PKing
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Mortensen also said later on ESPN News that Favre might come back to a team other than the Packers and specifically mentioned the Vikings – would the thought of PK’s scratching post playing for Minnesota over Tarvaris Jackson change your sentiments any BDD?
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:24 pm
[music plays]
Brett Favre, the Green Bay Packer…
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:27 pm
@FMRA
-100 for bringing that goddamned video back to my mind.
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Whoa whoa whoa, hold up now. Brett Favre retired? Shouldn’t ESPN have mentioned something about it when it happened?
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:36 pm
I guess he really wants that single season record for INTs all to himself. The greedy bastard.
Favre’s first pass in an NFL regular season game resulted in an interception returned for a touchdown. Favre’s last pass in an NFL game resulted in an interception that led to the game winning touchdown.
You’ve already come full circle, Brett. Give it up.
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:36 pm
This post just made my life.
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Make that “game winning FG”
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:37 pm
But Brett Favre just LOVES to play football! See that??? He’s just like a kid out there!
/rage-vomiting
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:45 pm
Look on the bright side here. At least if he comes back, he’s a lock to fail miserably due to the Madden Curse.
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:52 pm
westbrook is a genius. I’d still prefer he get his right hand mangled in a lawnmower accident to end this crazyness.
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:57 pm
He’s like the Wooderson of the NFL-hanging around with the younger kids when he really should be movin on with his life. Brett! Aerosmith in Houston! Concert of the Summer!
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:57 pm
I have had poison oak on my dick and it is no fun. Teach me to wipe my ass with unidentified plant life.
July 2nd, 2008 at 6:10 pm
@devin hester’s speech coach:
That is one of the greatest pieces of footage I have ever seen.
July 2nd, 2008 at 6:14 pm
here’s to another season of gunslings (aka interceptions) and cockpumping. i probalby wouldn’t hate favre so much if sports media didn’t shove him up in my grill.
July 2nd, 2008 at 6:22 pm
Please come back, Mr. Favre. In the last six months Drew got a book deal, a new t.v., and more job offers than he could name. Fuck that guy. I hope you start for the Vikings.
July 2nd, 2008 at 7:07 pm
As a Green Bay Packer fan I find this annoying. I was a Brett Favre fan, but for fucks sake, it is time to let it go. He had a good run last year and had the opportunity to leave with a pretty solid legacy. Let Rodgers give it a go and take us back to the Forrest Gregg days of 8-8.
I will say that I would find some perverse pleasure in watching Favre suit up in the purple and watching BDD have an aneurysm.
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Do Kurt Warner and Brett Favre share the same wife? Are they both Mormon or something? I hope he comes back just to throw that team into total disarray. It can’t be any worse than all the shit you guys put on here to pass time until football starts. You’re running about 1 for 5. At that average we’d love to have you replace Richie Sexson at first base for the M’s. Think about it.
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:41 pm
I actually think this is going to spawn another “Chris Mortensen is completely full of shit. He literally is a bag filled with shit. From a butt.”
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3471189
Favre responded by text messages immediately, saying that this is just another rumor without any reason.
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:51 pm
You know how every recovering addict needs their anti-drug???
You just found yours Mr. Allen.
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Skye……
What 8-8 Forrest Gregg Packer team are you thinking of? I’m 27 and I remember like 5-11…4-12…..8-8 in the 80’s would’ve gotten Randy Wright a fucking statue.
Favre should move out to LA..start banging Lindsey Lohan, and Paris Hilton and get himself on TMZ everynight. I’d watch that shit! Imagine Peter King commenting on that in the MMQB.
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:15 pm
if favre was black, he’d be suspended for even mentioning unretirement. that shit might fly in the nba but goddell justice rules with an iron fist.
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:27 pm
If Brett has the itch, have PK spread Cruex all over his hands so when he’s fondling Brett’s balls, he helping cure the itch.
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:08 am
Growing up in Maine, I learned early on that you were supposed to put down animals that were supposed to die. just because that usually included private school kids and any moose-looking bitches doesn’t mean it doesn’t apply here.
July 3rd, 2008 at 4:51 am
The only way this could be worth it is if Favre goes to Ted Thompson and says he wants to come back, and Trader Ted tells him, “Thanks, Brett, but the team is moving forward. We have Rodgers and I picked two more quarterbacks in the draft. Go away.” Then Favre signs with the Bears or Vikings, and comes back to Lambeau to play against Green Bay.
Seeing Brett Favre booed at Lambeau would be awesome. I hope they also throw snowballs at him.
July 3rd, 2008 at 6:15 am
Christ on a solid gold mountain bike Favre is a douche. Sweet Jesus, so far the Pack’s spent a first and a second round pick on quarterbacks and anyone with a shred of sense would think “yeah, that’s enough”, but noooooooooo, Favre has to crash Rodgers’ coming-out party with “o yea i wanna play again lolz”. I would firmly support Rodgers going Tonya Harding on the decrepit douchebag
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:00 am
Growing up in Maine, I learned early on that you were supposed to put down animals that were supposed to die.
This fall … Brett Farve … is … Old Yeller.
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:02 am
[...] $50 bounty on Brett Favre’s tissue box – Link [...]
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:19 am
No man who has had poison oak on his penis would make that joke, drew.
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:15 am
Alright, denvergodfather, I’ll be the one to ask.
You wiped your ass with poison oak. How did it end up on your dick?
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:19 am
Poison oak, ivy, sumac… Whatever it was, an ex girlfriend was nice enough to rub cortisone lotion on my inflamed dick, but not nice enough to keep rubbing cortisone lotion on my inflamed dick.
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:24 am
I wonder what Kurt and Kitna have to say about this Favre nonsense…
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:42 am
I greatly look forward to walking down the the gas station down the street across from “Hook Fish and Chicken” and buying a knock-off #4 Favre Chicago Bears jersey, the orange alternative one.
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:45 am
Otto Man – That shit spreads like a mother fucker. There is really no stopping it. Plus I was like 15 so constant mastubation might have had a hand in it.
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:45 am
god damn it
MASTURBATION
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:25 am
Next time you get poison oak/ivy, try Zanfel. The shit simply works.
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:46 pm
The real asshole is Chris Mortensen and his made up sources. How the hell does this fuckstick still have a job? Are the Berman blow jobs really that good?
August 18th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
BRETT FAVRE IS ONE GREEDY MOTHERFUCKER!