Yeah, You Gotta Do It Classy
This weekend Art Monk will finally be enshrined in the Professional Football Hall of Fame in Canton, OH. KSK has received a copy of the speech he plans to read upon his induction and it follows below in its entirety, and might I say, that guy is still all class.
Oh man, I can’t even tell you guys how great it feels to be standing up here. After all these years I’d begun to resign myself to the idea that I’d never see the day my bust was placed in Canton, but it just shows you the importance of perseverance.
As many of you know I am a man of humble beginnings. Growing up as the son of a welder and a maid in White Plains I never dreamed of the possibility of making my living as a professional athlete. In fact, I was more interested in becoming a musician like my cousin Thelonious for many of my younger years. Fortunately for me I soon gravitated towards football, a game that has provided me with nearly endless opportunities.
After we won our first Super Bowl I was able to open the Art Monk Football Camp where some 14,000 children have learned the craft of the game we all love so much. Spending so many years working with the camp provided experiences as rewarding as any on-field accomplishments, but the three Super Bowls were pretty great too.
Speaking of the Super Bowls, I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all of my teammates and coaches over the years. Each and every one of you are apart of this honor, and I surely wouldn’t be here without your support. I’d also like to thank the Cooke family for drafting me into the tremendous Washington Redskins organization as well as Coach Joe Gibbs who taught me more about how to be an upstanding Christian man than anyone outside of my father.
Of course I can’t conclude without thanking the members of the media who have supported my induction for so many years. There is something incredibly humbling about having thousands of tireless fans passionately campaigning on your behalf. Today I share this honor with all of you, and thank you for your support.
With all that being said, I’d like to address one more group before I go sit back down to listen to my friend and teammate Darrell Green.
To Peter King, Cliff Christl, Paul Zimmerman, and any of my other current and former detractors, consider yourselves humbly invited to…
Thank you all for coming.
Tags: Art Monk, Dr. Z, hall of fame, Homerism, Maj Loves Monk A Bit Too Much, peter king, Unsilent Majority, Yeah you gotta do it classy
![[badge]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/themes/default/images/100121_FOXmsnBadge_200x50.gif)
July 29th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
July 29th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
ball sack.
July 29th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
yeah, why wasn’t he a hall of famer again?
July 29th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
amen, fuck those douchebags
July 29th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Nice. Thought you were actually gonna keep it clean, but, nahhhh. Good show.
July 29th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Greatest Receiver Eva!
That is all
July 29th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
say hello to my coworkers new screensaver.
July 29th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
+1 for mentioning The Loneliest Monk.
July 29th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Pfft, he needs a wheelbarrow to carry Tim Brown’s nutsack.
July 29th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
He’s no Andre Reed.
July 29th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
This is some weapons grade awesome!
July 29th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
I kept reading and waiting, reading and waiting…waiting… THERE IT IS: Profanity! YAY!
July 29th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Yeah, he was no Willie Gault.
/continuing the string of uninformed, hilarious opinions.
July 29th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
@Napoleon’s Battle Plan:
Unlike ‘Lip, he has no reason to feel downtrodden now.
July 29th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Outstanding
July 29th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
That was Ron Burgundy classy.
I just pray Art Monk punches Peter King in the vagina while Biff holds him down.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
A gang of Cris Carter fans in purple shirts is waiting for Peter King and Paul Zimmerman in the parking lot.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Art Monk was no Dennis McKinnon. (Which is probably what earned him a Hall of Fame berth)!
July 29th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
very Christian like.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Art Monk was no hall of famer. He was a good receiver. But no difference maker and put fear in defenses.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Art Monk was no hall of famer. He was a good receiver. But no difference maker and put fear in defenses.
Top 10 in receptions all time, 12,721 yards receiving, Super Bowl rings, yeah what defense would be scared of that.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Maybe you didn’t get the point of this post Kurt.
Go up and re-read it again. Then punch yourself in the dick for being born.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
If Monk gets in Reed gets in eventually.
/Bills fan
July 29th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
A gang of Cris Carter fans in purple shirts is waiting for Peter King and Paul Zimmerman in the parking lot.
All Cris Carter fans do is give beatdowns.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
His cousin Thelonius was a fucking genius. Also, in his spare time he dabbled in the pussy and heroin trade.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Art Monk was no Rod Tidwell.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
“All Cris Carter fans do is give beatdowns”
They learned it from John Randle.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Kurt is no Dr. Z
July 29th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Too bad you couldn’t find a nice Redskins font for this, by the by.
Monk deserves it for football a hell of a lot more than Chris Webber deserves it for basketball, and Webber will probably get in on the first ballot despite blowing big games at every level, erasing the Fab Five’s college records for all time by taking money and later trying to lie about it, and basically being being an injury-riddled, crunch-time wilting, playoff 4th quarter air-balling, underachieving jackass.
/total tangent
//but fuck it something reminded me of Chris Webber
///Fuck Chris Webber
////but he does nice charity work
July 29th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
I thought this wasn’t going anywhere until after the jump. Good misdirection, way to show the versatility of the dick joke.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Art Monk invented the semi-creepy porno moustache for the black receiver. MarHar owes his success to the monk.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
ALSO @ porky1
If Chris Webber gets in the BBall HOF first ballot, I’m hunting him down and shanking him with a sharpened rib bone I got from the decaying carcass of Billy King.
/bitter 76ers fan
July 29th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
This is undeniably the highlight of the Redskin fan’s football season.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Any chance Deon goes into the HOF as a Redskin?
July 29th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
You kinda have to keep it classy when you score 68 TDs in 16 seasons. At that point, leading the league in class and receptions is all you have to go by.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Art Monk is no Rod Smith?
/just wants to fit in
July 29th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Art Monk is no Dexter Manley. Maybe a little bit Charles Mann, but he’s no Dexter Manley.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
he is no andre reed… but a class act for certain. and by the way rod smith couldnt hold Monk’s jockstrap and shouldnt even be considered as a hall of fame possibility… but that’s just me.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Monk got all those catches because Gary Clark was the real threat.
/tecmo
July 29th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Art Monk is no Shannon Sharpe. “Wabba, jabba, nabba, babba.” Yeah…what he said.
So Monk’s going into the HOF Straight, No Chaser then?
July 29th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
He’s no little monkey.
/Cosell’d
July 29th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
An Alvin Garret reference. My pointless day now complete.
July 29th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Right there with ya, Maj.
July 29th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
I believe the induction ceremony will be held ’round midnight.
July 29th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
@ Jackin’4beats
Art’s getting into the HoF ‘Round Midnight.
July 29th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
@ Last Unitard
You beat me to the Monk pun punch. I can’t think of anything for “Blue Monk”.
July 29th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
I can’t believe he didn’t thank his OCD detective cousin.
July 29th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
“THAT’S FOR CALLING OOK-OOK A MONKEY!”
July 29th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Fucking. A.
Now, if Art can drop a horse head into Danny’s bed on HOF night, I’d appreciate it.
/that’s not classy?
//fuck Snyder anyway
///thinks this weekend will be the highlight of my season
July 29th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Andre Reed? Please.
July 29th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Ah, Chris Webber… the SECOND shittiest trade in NBA history. My Golden State Warriors are the Detroit Lions of the NBA. (Clippers = Cardinals of course)
July 29th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
The best thing will be watching that cooze Adam Schefter squirm on the set when they cover this on NFL network.
I hope Jamie Dukes makes him his bitch with a big dose of “I told ya’ so.”
July 29th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
art monk is no welkaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
July 29th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Hail to the Maj!!!!!!
July 29th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
monk sucks monkey sack.
July 29th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Art Monk is no Marvin Harrison
EGLZ RL! is no Peter King
/yah I relly wanted in the action
July 29th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
I like the Seinfeld reference.
July 29th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
About damn time the Monkster gets his due. I have to admit, G Clark was a little better on Tecmo Bowl. http://www.betsportsweb.com/
July 29th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
I will gladly wear the 81 jersey my mother bought me back in 1991. Of course, my mother is a stupid twat and it says “Rob” on the back.
My mother is stupid. I will wear my jersey never the less.
July 29th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Art Monk was no Golden Richards!
/puts down pill bottle
//punches at own cock
///misses
July 29th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
All Cris Carter fans do is give beatdowns.
+1 Otto Mann
July 30th, 2008 at 10:31 am
art monk is no george carlin
July 30th, 2008 at 11:24 am
[...] Suzy Kolber imagines the Art Monk induction speech that fans have been dreaming about. (Warning: contains language, although it’s relatively mild by KSK [...]
July 30th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
For all of you Art Monk haters out there. Here’s a quarters!..Go call somebody who gives a damn!..For all of you who’ve never seen him play, get off the Sega, Nintendo, or Play Stations, and go watch some of his achivements on the field. Atleast he never did anything stupid off the field like some of America’s Most Wanted. Andre Reed, and Cris Carter were good, but they never won a Superbowl. Maybe some of the receivers now in the game could take the time to learn a thing or two.
July 30th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
+1 to Required Name Here. No Welkah, indeed.
July 30th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Art Monk is certainly no Ernest Givins
July 30th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Oh for fuck’s sake. Like “the greatest 5 yard hitch route runner” has any business being in Canton unless he buys a ticket.
Gary Clark on the same team at the same time out performed Monk in every statistical category. He just didn’t play for 58 average years.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Yea, bout time my 4.25 TD per year average gets into Canton.
And don’t forget about my ONE HARDCORE ALL PRO TEAM APPEARANCE MUTHAFUCKERS!
7 yard slants for 16 years bitches…eat that shit!
July 30th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
art monk is no ‘Steamin’ Willie Beamen
/just wanted to get in on it
//hangs head in shame
July 30th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
[...] give you some reading material to tide you over while we wait. Here’s a sneak peek at Art Monk’s speech, courtesy of [...]
July 30th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
BuzzBizz, You have to be the most ignorant football fan on the planet with that “5 yard hitch” BS.
Uneducated comments like that only mean one thing: You live in Dallas and pull for the Cowboys.
August 2nd, 2008 at 1:57 pm
[...] Kissing Suzy Kolber [...]
August 4th, 2008 at 10:21 am
[...] date, and it’s nice to see it finally resolved. Of course, Kissing Suzy Kolber had the best version of Monk’s acceptance speech, which actually made me choke on my coffee with [...]
March 16th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
love thiz song and every song he makes it becomes a hit