An Intercepted Letter From Aaron Rodgers to Brett Favre
Dear Scrotal Seam,
Since you won’t return my phone calls, and you refuse to use a computer for anything other than acquiring Canadian pharmaceuticals, I figured my only recourse is to send you this letter. They do have postal service in Bumfuck, Mississippi, don’t they?
Listen, I understand that you love the game and all of the media fellating you reap as a result of your play, but if you have this “itch” to come back you could have at least dropped me a line. I don’t even care if you play this year, in fact, I think it would be pretty fucking great. With all this football crap going on I’ve fallen way behind in my regimen of naps and vacations over the past two off-seasons. All I’m asking is that you stop dicking me around like this year after year.
If you need me for any reason I’ll be doing the same thing I do during every training camp, sneaking over to your house during film study and butt-fucking Deanna on your freshly mown lawn.
Yours In Christ,
Aaron Rodgers
Tags: Aaron Rodgers, FUCK YOU BRETT FAVRE, Intercepted Letters, Unsilent Majority
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:54 pm
The “Yours in Christ” absolutely kills me. Bra-vo.
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:58 pm
@FLS, especially after the part about butt fucking.
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:58 pm
@FLS, especially after the butt fucking part.
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Butt-fuck in Bumfuck. Nice alliteration, with a visual to boot.
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Did you know Brett Favre is in love … with a lawn mower, that is!
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Dang. That man is hungry – he’s a winner. I’m drafting him for my fantasy football team. Now if I could figure out how many points a good round of anal sex is worth.
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:01 pm
That was brilliant.
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Short, sweet, and sassy. I like it.
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:15 pm
is there anything quite like a talented professional football team with an aged just-good-enough-to keep-playing but no longer a player capable of leading a team to a Superbowl Championship? Brett “QB Cock-block” Favrvrvre, you delight me.
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:15 pm
I have a new favorite quarterback.
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Did somebody say…SASSY?!
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:23 pm
someone’s been spending time with ethan albright.
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:31 pm
There was a time when I felt kinda sorry for Aaron Rodgers. Then I saw his over-gelled spikey hair and soul patch.
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:32 pm
The “yours in Christ” after the butt fucking line is awesome!
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I have a feeling this won’t be the only thing of Aaron Rodgers that will be intercepted.
/Rim Shot
July 3rd, 2008 at 2:17 pm
I never knew Deanna was a “Packer QB Chaser” but this is the first time a Packer QB fucked HER in the ass.
Her strap-on and Peter King share the same cologne, Eau de Brett’s Shit.
July 3rd, 2008 at 2:25 pm
I think Aaron Rodgers is looking right through me in that pic. Yep, he’s got the 5-11 stare.
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Naptown — that can’t be a recent pic of Aa-Rod. he let himself go so much the last 2 years that my friends and I couldn’t help but refer to his as Bum Rodgers.
http://www.packers.com/multimedia/photo_galleries/player_galleries/rodgers_aaron_2007/
You can see he gave up shaving the rest of his face, as well as his unkept hair creeping out from under his helmet. I hope he can pull himself together.
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Fantastic, UM. Simply fantastic.
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Great way to start the weekend!
July 3rd, 2008 at 4:57 pm
At this point, Brian Brohm and Matt Flynn have gotta be thanking their lucky stars that Rodgers is their flak jacket. No one (except Steve Young) wants to follow a legend. Just ask Bubby Brister.
July 3rd, 2008 at 5:14 pm
“scrotal seam”
is deanna hot?
http://www.collegefastbreak.com/
July 3rd, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Awesome. I look forward to Aaron Rodger’s open letter to the Green Bay Packer nation.
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:34 pm
“You know what, Green Bay? I’m taking this team on the express train to awesomeland. And if you want to bitch and moan about how I’m not the last guy, then your stupid ass can sit outside on the tundra and weep frozen tears for him. Meanwhile, if you board now, this thing’s gonna be an orgy for the next few seasons. Express means I’m not stopping for ANYthing. Bandwagon hopping? Not on my fucking train. This shit’s going 100 mph straight for the Super Bowl, year after year after year. I’m not gonna just do it once like Old Man Favre. No “boy he just loves playin’” for this guy. It’s about to be 10 straight years of “Goddamn, that Rodgers just tore through that defense like he was Mark Chimura and they were an underage girl’s panties!”
This train doesn’t run on “I think I can.” It runs on pure asskickery, and anyone not on the train to begin with is getting their ass kicked into the furnace to make it run.”
July 4th, 2008 at 1:44 am
Aaron Rodgers is officially the most popular player in the NFL.
July 4th, 2008 at 11:49 am
That Aaron Rodgers must be getting lessons in asskickery from the Sex Cannon.
July 6th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
[...] Dear Brett Farve…a letter from Aaron Rogers. [...]
July 8th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Fuck Aaron Rodgers…
That pussy fucking sucks. He can’t even stay on the field.
He’s a Tedford retard.
Fuck him where he breathes.
He’s a TV baby, Madden playing jerk-off. Like the rest of you assholes.
You should be in Iraq instead of posting pussy bullshit on the internet you scumb ag.
July 8th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
2 sides here. Maybe 3. Favre, Rodgers and Favre. What’s the motivation? For any of them?
Favre left the Pack for a reason (or many).
It’s like 9/11.
Have we forgotten? Has HE?
July 9th, 2008 at 4:43 am
Hey P@ck66! Aaron could squash you with his pinky behind his back, if you’d only get out of your mother’s closest.
July 9th, 2008 at 10:49 am
Aaron Rodgers sucks and hasn’t done thing one in the NFL yet!
Sounds more like you are on the Aaron Rodgers Homo train more than anything else…
July 10th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
[...] 11)Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay Packers – This kid deserves a shot, and when given a chance, has played well. He’s got all the tools, all the potential, and has gotten a raw deal from sliding in the draft behind freaking Alex Smith. STOP MESSING WITH HIM BRETT. [...]
July 15th, 2008 at 1:54 am
I actually fired a guy once, and he was either dumb-ass enough not to know what I meant, or so stupid that he had no idea what FIRED meant, so he came back to work the next day like business-as-usual. That was really an 8 on the
1-10 scale.
However, if you are old, and senile enough not to remember that you FUCKING QUIT!!!!!!!!! Then you had better not really be thinking that the doors will magically open once again. Or don’t let the door hit you too hard on the way out- AGAIN!
This guy can’t even remember if he has a job or not! That’s a 10 folks!
July 17th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
Aaron Rodgers is just another player. He is unproven. He deserves NOTHING. Does a backup linebacker deserve to start simply because he wore a cap on the sideline? ALL THIS CRAP ABOUT “RODGERS HAS THE TOOLS” IS SUCH HORSESHIT. HOW DO YOU KNOW HE HAS THE TOOLS? HOW MANY NFL PLAYERS HAVE YOU COACHED? WHAT FUCKING NFL QB DOESN’T “HAVE THE TOOLS?” YOU ARE THE SPECULATORS OF LIFE. Watch your shitty Packers go 6-10 or worse with one of the youngest, most talented receiving corps.
Apparently, none of you dipshits have been in a situation where you actually had an important, life-altering decision to waffle over, since you are so worried about the major injustices of the world, like unproven QBs who “deserve” to start. You speculate what is right and wrong when you don’t know a damned thing about those in power or those who believe their power. Brett or Thompson could be in the wrong, and you will make a shitty snap judgment based on your emotional reaction to whatever news show you are watching at the time.
Pathetic.
October 10th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Matts a fuckin retard dah dah dah