America rules, England sucks

All of our U.S. readers– enjoy your Fourth. The rest of you, enjoy your soup or whatever the hell you do while we grill out, get drunk and shoot off illegal fireworks. USA! USA! USA!.

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28 Responses to “America rules, England sucks”

  1. make it snow Says:

    Super Jesus bless America.

    /tear

  2. Wormfather (AKA Aaron) Says:

    I know something my British fiancee is going to be watching shortly…

  3. SRV Says:

    “England can suck my old man balls!” yeah cram it up your cramhole ya damn Brits!

  4. winston b mcpotsworthy Says:

    USA! USA! Sit on this, you tea drinking soccer monkeys!

  5. jackin'4beats Says:

    England can suck a whole duffel bags of dicks today. U-S-A, U-S-A!!! Eat our grits you warm beer drinking, pub going, soccer hooligans.

  6. Liquid_d Says:

    This was truly inspiring, today I will beat the shit out of my gaylord english neighbor, then firebomb that over-priced “pub” downtown. USA! USA!

  7. bfreakin3 Says:

    Any red-blooded, flag-fearing American would love the M-320. Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it.

  8. Tepper Says:

    “Now Britain is trying to get all chummy, imitating us and pretending to support our awesome wars.”

    Damn straight. USA! USA! USA!

    /gives nine Budweisers the Stone Cold Steve Austin treatment
    /punches a Prius owner in the temple
    /drills for oil a mile off the coast of Florida

  9. Monkey Business Says:

    Fuck yeah! Despite no one on either side of my family having been here prior to 1900, I feel a great sense of pride in sticking it to the Brits. Cocky bastards.

    As a side note, I punch people that order scones in the head on a regular basis. Simply because they ordered a scone.

    /eagerly awaiting fireworks synchronized to “America, Fuck Yeah!”
    /secretly hopes it will also one day replace the Star Spangled Banner as our national anthem

  10. miamidiesel Says:

    Didn’t get a chance to check KSK yesterday, so when I logged on today, I eagerly checked this post and the last one hoping to be the first one to post “AMERICA – FUCK YEAH!!!”. Of course, UU made it as the second comment to the last post, and Monkey Business brought up on this one suggesting it should be our new national anthem (I second that motion as well). I should’ve known the KSK commenters, mostly as delinquent and perverted minded as I am, would be all over that comment.

    The point is, I love you guys.

    /gets awkward looks, slightly taken aback

    Eh, screw you guys.

    Happy ID-4 all!

  11. The Lazer Says:

    You know, we are all going to name our 2nd album Bigger Than Jesus now. Thanks Homer, and Super Jesus bless America

  12. Naptown Drew Says:

    @miamidiesel

    It’s never too late for an Americuahh!!! Fuuuckk Yeahhh!!!
    Freedom is the only way now!

    Walmart!!!
    Starbucks!!!
    Books!!!
    Taco Bell!!!
    Drunken posts at your favorite website while avoiding your family obligations (Fuck Yeah)!!!

  13. miamidiesel Says:

    @Naptown: so true. In the spirit of your post and the unprecedented greatness of this country:

    McDonalds, FUCK YEAH!
    Wal-Mart, FUCK YEAH!
    The Gap, FUCK YEAH!
    Baseball, FUCK YEAH!
    NFL, FUCK, YEAH!
    Rock and roll, FUCK YEAH!
    The Internet, FUCK YEAH!
    Slavery, FUCK YEAH!

    Starbucks, FUCK YEAH!
    Disney world, FUCK YEAH!
    Porno, FUCK YEAH!
    Valium, FUCK YEAH!
    Reeboks, FUCK YEAH!
    Fake Tits, FUCK YEAH!
    Sushi, FUCK YEAH!
    Taco Bell, FUCK YEAH!
    Rodeos, FUCK YEAH!
    Bed bath and beyond (Fuck yeah, Fuck yeah)

    Liberty, FUCK YEAH!
    White Slips, FUCK YEAH!
    The Alamo, FUCK YEAH!
    Band-aids, FUCK YEAH!
    Las Vegas, FUCK YEAH!
    Christmas, FUCK YEAH!
    Immigrants, FUCK YEAH!
    Popeye, FUCK YEAH!
    Democrats, FUCK YEAH!
    Republicans (republicans)
    (fuck yeah, fuck yeah)
    Sportsmanship
    Books

    God bless America….

  14. mamacita Says:

    Anybody up for a threadjack? Somebody out there thinks Mr. Brady and Ms. Bundchen are tying the knot today. Which doesn’t make it different from any other day, I guess.

    Yeah, I’m bored. My sister is making me watch 1776.

  15. Gern Says:

    Costco-fuck yeah!

    Home Depot-fuck yeah!

    Jack-In-The-Crack-fuck yeah!

    In-N-Out Urge-fuck yeah!

    Our awesome ability as a nation to fuck up anyone we want anytime just because we feel like it-fuck yeah!

  16. mini dagger Says:

    hah yes, we actually watched team america earlier today… nothing celebrates the birth of the greatest nation in the world better than watching puppets crap on each other’s faces.

    also, fuck brady for marrying a brazilian on the fourth… where’s your buck-o-five dipshit?

    /shoots roman candle at corrugated metal shed

  17. ciarannh Says:

    I’m Irish, we beat the Brits as well. We’re just far too cool to celebrate it…

  18. flubby Says:

    Captain America FUCK YEAH!!!

  19. Red Red Says:

    Hahaha fuckin yanks! Say that sh!t when you get your own language. Dumb fu*ks.

    Bush says jump, yanks say how high (and can I kiss you “ass”)

    Your people are fat, your people are dumb and your people are gettin blown up. HAHAHA!

    No wonder the world hates you fat bastards.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8SuCBHqXtQ

    (ever heard of the Princess And The Marine? He smuggled her in your sh!t hole (what you call america) and lost his job and family, she took the green card and left him. Thats all your good for)

  20. Nick H Says:

    I’m English and i gotta say that was some funny stuff! I hate English land and the majority of ass-holes which inhabit it. USA! USA!

  21. Catherine Says:

    I am British and i do agree but dont hate all british people we hate are fucking goverment to. All brits are the same

  22. jim Says:

    u stupid fuckin yanks! Everyone hates u, no one follows your sport(cos its designed for fat lazy yanks), ur troops are shit and are trained by monkey’s, and we have to sort ur shit out, and u cant even spell – colour not fuckin color u yankee twts. we own the world, not u, everyone hates u cos u are all thick and lacking intelligence. Go eat ur burgers u lazy fat twats.

  23. wtf Says:

    =/ wow im suprised how much americans care about their fucking country. who cares if your american. stop being so proud of yourselves you look ridiculous

  24. Robbbee Says:

    if wasnt for the english then you would be speaking french and probaly be even less educated thaan evvverrrr

  25. Bookmarks about England Says:

    [...] – bookmarked by 4 members originally found by MartyMcFly23 on 2008-08-19 America rules, England sucks http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/07/america-rules-england-sucks.html – bookmarked by 4 [...]

  26. I Love the United States of America Says:

    Go conservative. Love America.

  27. dragula Says:

    wow are Americans really that stupid, the ONLY reason you won your silly little revolution was because of the french!
    you owe all of your patriotism to the French and nothing else but like any other young country, your to ignorant to except that…and were stealing your language…..hmmm im sorry but i thought it was called ENGLISH because it came from ENGLAND! you dont have your “own” language…its all from Europe, you know, your actual founding fathers, but what more can England expect from a country built up on convicts and the insain, and for a comment further up there…Ireland HA you havent won anything for hundreds of years and we still own a major part of your country, if you call years of civil wars winning then i pity you.
    and just so you all know tea is actually from china!

  28. Rav Says:

    Britain sucks

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