Adventures in droll tunesmithery: “F*** You Carson Palmer”
Seems Carson Palmer’s loyalty to his alma mater is still a sore spot with some Ohio State fans. If I was going to express my disdain for someone, I doubt I’d parody such a lugubrious tune. It’s kind of hard to get fired up over Neil Young (who, incidentally, was dubbed “The Human Quaalude” by my sister after an excruciatingly dull live acoustic set).
And why is this guy so pissed off anyways? Palmer has already expressed his contrition in the most personal and heartfelt manner possible: a press release on his team’s official website. I bet on his birth certificate it says: “Carson Sincerity Palmer”.
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Tags: carson palmer, cincinnati bengals, it is a pretty crappy tie, KSK-BuzzCuts, neil young minus crazy horse = zzzzz
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:09 am
Thank god it stopped when he busted out “the Ohio State University” fuckeyes.
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:37 am
Threadjack: Ape is now a contrarian black man, writes for Slate.
http://www.theroot.com/id/47264
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:48 am
Wow, thanks for the unexpected link, you old fucking Dutchmen.
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:07 am
Forget Carson Palmer and the Can’t-Get-It-Done Suckeyes…bring on the WNBA Fight thread!
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:12 am
“Oh no! They made fun of my crazy as a shithouse rat program and our working class fan base. How will I ever get over it? Guess I’ll have to go set a couch on fire, take a shit in some more coolers, not go into work the next day, claim disability and bitch about the price of high life light over at The Thirsty Scholar.”
Get fucked Ohio State fans.
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:34 am
yeah, and get a mascot that isnt lame.
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:34 am
Ohio State? Meh.
/saw their beatdown in person at the National Championship
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:36 am
Part of being a college sports fan is actually attending the institution. Somehow, I doubt the entire state of Ohio attended Ohio State, mostly because anyone reasonably intelligent would get the fuck out of Ohio at the soonest opportunity available. Therefore, all that’s left are the people that went to any one of the hundred other colleges not named Ohio State that no one’s ever heard of, and just found it easier and more convenient to root for the Buckeyes.
I hate them. I hate them all.
/bitter Big Ten fan
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:45 am
And The Root, of course, is owned by The Washington Post Co. Was I really fired at all?
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:46 am
The Ohio State mascot always reminds me of the cartoon in this clip.
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:47 am
ok ok ok - i am not partial to the trojans nor the buckeyes as a Badger i hate them both, maybe usc just a tad more - HOWEVER buckeye fans suck my left nut; according to them tressel hung the skies, Clarett only made marginally bad mistakes and eddie george is still lining up at RB - seriously lest take a look at the previous heisman winners…Troy smith vs. Carson, Leinhart, and bush - i’ll take a trojan any day. and if i have to see “Road warrior Animal” in the stand one more god damn fucking year applauding his steroid taking son i’ll kill my self. seriously fuck them.
thank you carson for saying what we all know - even if you are a little dousche bag from the compton
P.S. - when those tranny-loving self important ass-wipes come to Camp randall Oct. 4th their season ends
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:06 am
Here, Tommy. Have some commas:
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
There ya go.
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:20 am
Poor Punter must be really torn up about this whole thing. Sike.
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:20 am
Ohio State fans are an example of what happens when a state has no good pro teams, combined with the genetic defect inherent to residents of Ohio. Rabid, thoughtless brutes who can think of nothing but the Buckeyes. Who unto he who says something negative about the Bucks near this class of person. You’ll have cream-corn spittle all over your face by the time they stop ranting.
Of course, hating Ohio State is a job in itself, but it’s a good way to get the hate out. I still have a picture of a gigantically obese Ohio State fan, wearing a buckeye necklace and weeping uncontrollably after #1 Ohio State lost to an unranked Michigan State team at home in 1998. To look at him 10 years later still makes me smile at his bitter tears. Fuck Ohio State.
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:23 am
cartoon is killer and dead on.
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:26 am
Your hate only makes us stronger! You are all jealous of our superior program.
/Tommy’d
//OSU fan
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:34 am
I also hate the sports team from your geographic area!
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:47 am
“Ya, we had nothing ready today….”
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:48 am
@futuremrs.
But he did use a semicolon. It’s like a Supercomma!
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:49 am
@ StuScott:
My geographic area’s sports team rules! They kick the asses of those pussies in that other geographic area that’s not as good as mine!
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:56 am
Fuckin’ nuts.
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:03 am
Ohio State blows a chubby monkey dick
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:18 am
Nice use of the word “lugubrious.” It means “overly sad”!
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:21 am
You gotta wait until AFTER you beat them. Then you can make bun of the Fuckeyes. Like me!
What does it mean when Matt Flynn throws four touchdowns in one game?
It means your team sucks.
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:33 am
As a Big Ten alum, I agree with the sentiments expressed above. Simply put, Fuck the Buckeyes and their over-bearing, obnoxious, grating on my last nerve fans. I know it doesn’t help the image of Big 10 football at all, but I don’t care, I hope they get fucking drilled at the Coliseum in September. A useful website for those who are inclined to root against all things buckeye, http://www.hatethesweatervest.com
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:18 pm
What does it mean when Tim Tebow runs and throws for a touchdown with two rushing touchdowns and a Chris Leak touchdown with two interceptions and a shitload of sacks in one game?
It means your the Ohio State Fuckeyes, and you will never win another national championship!
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:27 pm
For the best opinions of Ohio State, just go to Ufford’s site. I think that sums it up perfectly.
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:47 pm
cartoon is killer and dead on.
Agreed. Nice work, Otto.