A KSK Exklusive! Brett Favre’s Secret Text Message!!!!!111!11!!!111!!
BREAKING NEWS! Brett Favre has sent the Packers a text message! It’s true! Huzzah! OMG! OMFG! :o!!!!!!!!
A message from the Gunslinger himself! What a truly historic occurrence! What an amazing milestone in NFL history! I can barely keep my pants on, I’m so blown away! I may have to go masturbate with the GOOD shower soap tonight!
No one knows what the text message said, but we do know he did indeed send it. Breathtaking. I’m also being told that Brett Favre may have also tried to contact the Packers via AIM, but that the Packers couldn’t get the fucking chat room to open.
Well, we at KSK are quite adept at navigating these kooky intertubes. As with anything Favre shoots off, this message was easily intercepted. Favre sent the Packers no less than a dozen messages. Here they are.
JK ABOUT RETIRING
U GOT QB 4 GUNSLNGN?
CN CUM BK NOW? KTHXBAI!
SUX 2B ARRON
OMG! A-RODG B SO GAY!
DEANNA IZ BORIN.
#4 NEEDS PK BJ ASAP
MOOR INTS PLS
BETTR HOPE I DONT GET ITCH 2 GET U FIRED LOLZ
WHEN DID I GET A CELL PHONE?
I’M SO RAVEN!
GOT 2 B A VIK NOW L8RS
PAIN KILLERZ 2 SPENSIV IN REEL WRLD
4′S BOYESH INTHUZIAZM FTW
DO U KNOW # 4 LIKKER STORE???
And here was Ted Thompson’s texted reply:
FU CKSKR
Tags: Favre evisceration coming Thursday on DS, FUCK YOU BRETT FAVRE, ksk group posts, yours in the comments
July 8th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Amazing that Favre has the patience to press “1″ a hundred times to get punctuation in a text message. He’s a better man than me.
July 8th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
LOLRS!!! lckr rm VCDIN is CHEEP!!
July 8th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
What’s even more amazing is that Troy’s Bitch is capable of making out anything other than a vicodin bottle.
July 8th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
“As with anything Favre shoots off, this message was easily intercepted.”
TRUR WRDZ NEVR SPOKN
July 8th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
You really need a new “FUCK YOU BRETT FAVRE” tag. Something like “I HOPE PETER KING GIVES YOU AIDS AND YOU DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH BRETT FAVRE”.
July 8th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
*Ted Thompson’s pager goes off*
TT’s wife: Who is it?
TT: I don’t know … it’s just a bunch of pound signs.
July 8th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Brett needs to go
July 8th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
/flip phone flies open
BRB LOL!!!!1!!!1
July 8th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
I LOL’ed at “When did i get a cell phone”
seriously im so sick of text abbreviations i get shit from friends and family i dont even have a fucking clue what it means.
and the other day i was checking out at the corner store and the bimbo whore infront of me told her friend something and the other dumb broad actaully SAID “OMG” in the same manner you would actually say oh my god. i wanted to take my 32oz corona and smash it over her skull…
July 8th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
I didn’t undertand any of that. Fuck text abbreviations. If you can’t spell out the words fast enough hit fucking send and call me you cockknocker. The next person to text me lol or omg gets pistol whipped. I’m 30 not 16! Die.
July 8th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Getting dissed for a booty call in Green Bay of all places must be rough.
July 8th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
you should see what thompson wrote on favre’s facebook wall
July 8th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
I CAN HAS PRES CONFRENS?
July 8th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
PAIN KILLERZ 2 SPENSIV IN REEL WRLD
Everyone knows Brett Favre needs an IV of pure, liquid attention pumping constantly into his veins.
July 8th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
@BigTravATX & Rocco:
Spoken like true curmudgeons. Preach on brothers. What the hell does the number 1 with exclamation marks mean?
/utterly despise teenagers
July 8th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Samsquantch: at first glance i thought you called me a cumpidgeon… ?? ohhh curmudgeons, yes… indeed.
July 8th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
cumpidgeon sounds funnier to me.
I’ve been laughing my ass off in my office for the last 30 minutes from the last 2 posts. Excellent shit.
+1’s for everybody (except that cheap non-tipping bastard)
July 8th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
huzzah to Big Daddy Drew!!! I wanted to abbreviate BDD, but I didn’t to get my larynx ripped out from all you abrrevi-haters.
July 8th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
+1’s for everybody (except that cheap non-tipping bastard)
Actually, that’s the way he likes it. He didn’t bow and scrape and fill your urinal with ice, so he knows he doesn’t deserve the +1.
July 8th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Maybe I will change my name on here… CumPidgeon
July 8th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Texting is super sweet. No homo.
July 8th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
You guys were slightly beaten to the punch here…
http://www.atexansblog.com/2008/07/08/the-courting-of-ted-thompson/
July 8th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
ROLF LMAO
July 8th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
SHIT….I am way to old for the text stufff…
ROFL LMAO
/Back to using 2 tin cans and a string
July 8th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
@ Dan: I just assumed your first one “ROLF” was an homage to “faRVe” being spelled “Favre”
July 8th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Well spoken Rocco and CumPidgeon. Didn’t the PHONE replace the TELEGRAPH for a fucking reason?
/kicks a passenger pidgeon
July 8th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
@ matt - more like ROLF - as in tossing up my lunch getting sick of farve.
July 8th, 2008 at 11:33 pm
brett favre and curt schilling should go blow each other
July 9th, 2008 at 1:23 am
AAAARON PLZ AN HERO!!!!11!!
July 9th, 2008 at 1:24 am
LAWNMOWERZ MONIEZ
July 9th, 2008 at 1:26 am
NAPTOWN DREWZ IN YR UPROXXX MURDERINGZ EMOTICONZ!!!111!!
July 9th, 2008 at 9:41 am
making fun of favre, awsome! i mean he is one of the top ten qbs of all time… way to be nfl fans
July 9th, 2008 at 10:14 am
Well, I guess we know Brett’s OK now. I figured Peter King had kidnapped #4, kept him in a hole in his basement and periodically made him rub lotion on his skin.
July 9th, 2008 at 11:33 am
#4 HAZ INTERCEPSHUN
LEMME KNOW
July 9th, 2008 at 11:34 am
…
July 9th, 2008 at 11:35 am
That was supposed to say “copy cats…”
Worst.
html.
ever.
July 9th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
w00t TEH WRNGLRZ ROXORZ LOLZ
July 9th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
so when favre is a viking will bdd’s homerism take over his hatred?
July 9th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
[...] Brett Favre’s Text-Messaging Habits Under Intense Scrutiny by A.J. Daulerio, Deadspin.com A KSK Exklusive! Brett Favre’s Secret Text Message!!!!!111!11!!!111!! by Kissing Suzy [...]
July 10th, 2008 at 1:57 am
@ holding down the couch springs - I think it’s best not to speculate on that. Unstoppable force/immovable object paradoxes normally ends with an imploding universe
July 24th, 2008 at 2:37 am
Stupid TV Baby, Madden playin’ MTHFKRS….
You don’t know shit about football.
Tromadz is Gay like TT…
And TT Suks…
Sincerly,
Pack66
July 24th, 2008 at 2:39 am
ps..Packnic and Packone are stupid pussies…..like TT.