« KSK Off-Topic: F—k You, Group Dinners
Oh, Judith Light, I Wanna F–k You So Bad »

A KSK Exklusive! Brett Favre’s Secret Text Message!!!!!111!11!!!111!!


BREAKING NEWS! Brett Favre has sent the Packers a text message! It’s true! Huzzah! OMG! OMFG! :o!!!!!!!!

A message from the Gunslinger himself! What a truly historic occurrence! What an amazing milestone in NFL history! I can barely keep my pants on, I’m so blown away! I may have to go masturbate with the GOOD shower soap tonight!

No one knows what the text message said, but we do know he did indeed send it. Breathtaking. I’m also being told that Brett Favre may have also tried to contact the Packers via AIM, but that the Packers couldn’t get the fucking chat room to open.

Well, we at KSK are quite adept at navigating these kooky intertubes. As with anything Favre shoots off, this message was easily intercepted. Favre sent the Packers no less than a dozen messages. Here they are.

JK ABOUT RETIRING

U GOT QB 4 GUNSLNGN?

CN CUM BK NOW? KTHXBAI!

SUX 2B ARRON

OMG! A-RODG B SO GAY!

DEANNA IZ BORIN.

#4 NEEDS PK BJ ASAP

MOOR INTS PLS

BETTR HOPE I DONT GET ITCH 2 GET U FIRED LOLZ

WHEN DID I GET A CELL PHONE?

I’M SO RAVEN!

GOT 2 B A VIK NOW L8RS

PAIN KILLERZ 2 SPENSIV IN REEL WRLD

4′S BOYESH INTHUZIAZM FTW

DO U KNOW # 4 LIKKER STORE???

And here was Ted Thompson’s texted reply:

FU CKSKR

Tags: , , ,

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 8th, 2008 at 3:50 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

42 Responses to “A KSK Exklusive! Brett Favre’s Secret Text Message!!!!!111!11!!!111!!”

  1. rusrus Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    Amazing that Favre has the patience to press “1″ a hundred times to get punctuation in a text message. He’s a better man than me.

  2. Hit Dog Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 4:04 pm

    LOLRS!!! lckr rm VCDIN is CHEEP!!

  3. Putridstinkstar Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 4:06 pm

    What’s even more amazing is that Troy’s Bitch is capable of making out anything other than a vicodin bottle.

  4. NTPNate Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 4:09 pm

    “As with anything Favre shoots off, this message was easily intercepted.”

    TRUR WRDZ NEVR SPOKN

  5. Jim U. Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 4:10 pm

    You really need a new “FUCK YOU BRETT FAVRE” tag. Something like “I HOPE PETER KING GIVES YOU AIDS AND YOU DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH BRETT FAVRE”.

  6. Man Bear Pig Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 4:15 pm

    *Ted Thompson’s pager goes off*

    TT’s wife: Who is it?
    TT: I don’t know … it’s just a bunch of pound signs.

  7. TDizzle Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 4:19 pm

    Brett needs to go

  8. SonOfSpam Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 4:26 pm

    /flip phone flies open

    BRB LOL!!!!1!!!1

  9. BigTravATX Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 4:46 pm

    I LOL’ed at “When did i get a cell phone”

    seriously im so sick of text abbreviations i get shit from friends and family i dont even have a fucking clue what it means.

    and the other day i was checking out at the corner store and the bimbo whore infront of me told her friend something and the other dumb broad actaully SAID “OMG” in the same manner you would actually say oh my god. i wanted to take my 32oz corona and smash it over her skull…

  10. Rocco Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 4:49 pm

    I didn’t undertand any of that. Fuck text abbreviations. If you can’t spell out the words fast enough hit fucking send and call me you cockknocker. The next person to text me lol or omg gets pistol whipped. I’m 30 not 16! Die.

  11. Stylist Mick Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 4:59 pm

    Getting dissed for a booty call in Green Bay of all places must be rough.

  12. mini dagger Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 4:59 pm

    you should see what thompson wrote on favre’s facebook wall

  13. StuScottBooyahs Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 5:15 pm

    I CAN HAS PRES CONFRENS?

  14. StuScottBooyahs Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 5:16 pm

    PAIN KILLERZ 2 SPENSIV IN REEL WRLD

    Everyone knows Brett Favre needs an IV of pure, liquid attention pumping constantly into his veins.

  15. samsquantch Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 5:22 pm

    @BigTravATX & Rocco:
    Spoken like true curmudgeons. Preach on brothers. What the hell does the number 1 with exclamation marks mean?

    /utterly despise teenagers

  16. BigTravATX Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 5:31 pm

    Samsquantch: at first glance i thought you called me a cumpidgeon… ?? ohhh curmudgeons, yes… indeed.

  17. jackin'4beats Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 5:39 pm

    cumpidgeon sounds funnier to me.

    I’ve been laughing my ass off in my office for the last 30 minutes from the last 2 posts. Excellent shit.

    +1’s for everybody (except that cheap non-tipping bastard)

  18. Tdub Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 5:48 pm

    huzzah to Big Daddy Drew!!! I wanted to abbreviate BDD, but I didn’t to get my larynx ripped out from all you abrrevi-haters.

  19. Otto Man Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 5:49 pm

    +1’s for everybody (except that cheap non-tipping bastard)

    Actually, that’s the way he likes it. He didn’t bow and scrape and fill your urinal with ice, so he knows he doesn’t deserve the +1.

  20. BigTravATX Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 5:51 pm

    Maybe I will change my name on here… CumPidgeon

  21. Stylist Mick Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    Texting is super sweet. No homo.

  22. grungedave Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 5:59 pm

    You guys were slightly beaten to the punch here…

    http://www.atexansblog.com/2008/07/08/the-courting-of-ted-thompson/

  23. Dan From Chicago Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 6:01 pm

    ROLF LMAO

  24. Dan From Chicago Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 6:02 pm

    SHIT….I am way to old for the text stufff…

    ROFL LMAO

    /Back to using 2 tin cans and a string

  25. Matt Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 7:12 pm

    @ Dan: I just assumed your first one “ROLF” was an homage to “faRVe” being spelled “Favre”

  26. joevishunda Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 8:52 pm

    Well spoken Rocco and CumPidgeon. Didn’t the PHONE replace the TELEGRAPH for a fucking reason?
    /kicks a passenger pidgeon

  27. Dan From Chicago Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 9:12 pm

    @ matt – more like ROLF – as in tossing up my lunch getting sick of farve.

  28. KG solo-man 5000 Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 11:33 pm

    brett favre and curt schilling should go blow each other

  29. Naptown Drew Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 1:23 am

    AAAARON PLZ AN HERO!!!!11!!

  30. Naptown Drew Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 1:24 am

    LAWNMOWERZ MONIEZ :(

  31. Naptown Drew Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 1:26 am

    NAPTOWN DREWZ IN YR UPROXXX MURDERINGZ EMOTICONZ!!!111!!

  32. alex Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 9:41 am

    making fun of favre, awsome! i mean he is one of the top ten qbs of all time… way to be nfl fans

  33. Gino Tourettsa Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 10:14 am

    Well, I guess we know Brett’s OK now. I figured Peter King had kidnapped #4, kept him in a hole in his basement and periodically made him rub lotion on his skin.

  34. 2Port Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 11:33 am

    #4 HAZ INTERCEPSHUN
    LEMME KNOW

  35. Jeff V Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 11:34 am

    …

  36. Jeff V Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 11:35 am

    That was supposed to say “copy cats…”

    Worst.

    html.

    ever.

  37. Uncle Jesse Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 3:48 pm

    w00t TEH WRNGLRZ ROXORZ LOLZ

  38. holding down the couch springs Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    so when favre is a viking will bdd’s homerism take over his hatred?

  39. The Favre Files: July 9, 2008 : Fan-Sided Blogs | A Blog Network Dedicated to NFL Fans Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 6:07 pm

    [...] Brett Favre’s Text-Messaging Habits Under Intense Scrutiny by A.J. Daulerio, Deadspin.com A KSK Exklusive! Brett Favre’s Secret Text Message!!!!!111!11!!!111!! by Kissing Suzy [...]

  40. Jay Says:
    July 10th, 2008 at 1:57 am

    @ holding down the couch springs – I think it’s best not to speculate on that. Unstoppable force/immovable object paradoxes normally ends with an imploding universe

  41. Pack66 Says:
    July 24th, 2008 at 2:37 am

    Stupid TV Baby, Madden playin’ MTHFKRS….

    You don’t know shit about football.

    Tromadz is Gay like TT…

    And TT Suks…

    Sincerly,

    Pack66

  42. Pack66 Says:
    July 24th, 2008 at 2:39 am

    ps..Packnic and Packone are stupid pussies…..like TT.

Leave a Reply