Stomping You Out…At Night!
Michael Strahan: I’sss my dissstinct pleasure like to welcome ya’lls to my new show, STOMPING. YOU. OUT. … at night. We’re gonna try do our comedy thing, have some fun and maybe learn something about the same time.
Ronnie The Band Leader: Youse a funny motherfucker, Michael.
Strahan: I ain’t told no jokes yet.
Ronnie: BAHAHAHAHA! That’s rich! Ain’t told no jokes! You don’t even need writers.
Strahan: Hehhh, aight man.
Okay. Let’sss welcome my hilariousss sidekick on the show, you might know him asss the the gunssslinger, MAH MAN… Brett Favre!
[Show's theme plays]
Brett Favre: Pleasure to be here.
Strahan: I think it’s gonna be a good thing we gotsss here. Me and you? We got a report and shit.
Favre: A rapport?
Strahan: You with your fucking French name would know how to pronounsssssse that shit.
Ronnie: Ha! French! Ha! Killed it!
Favre: So which guests do we have tonight?
Strahan: Oh, we got some guests, but firsss thing’s firsss.
Favre: What’s that?
Strahan: Bitch, you know exactly what I mean. Drop yo’ ass on the floor.
Favre: I thought we agreed not to do this.
Strahan: We did. But I disssagree with our agreement. People, you remember how Favre fell hisss assss down to let me git my sack record. Well, beginning a’ each show, pretty boy here gonna fall his ass on the ground.
Favre: But it’s humiliating.
Strahan: How you think it look for me? Bring you out here in front a’ all thessse peoplesss, then you not fall down? Ludicrousss.
Ronnie: A fuckin’ disgrace is what it’d be. OH!
Favre: [Sighs] I knew I should’ve taken that analyst gig.
[Favre stands out of chair, takes two steps toward audience then collapses onto the floor]
Strahan: Hahaha. Exsssssellent! We got a great show for you this evening, we got Natasha Bedingfield and that hot bitch from that reality show. Whatever, she hot. Be right back.
Now get off stage, Favre!
Tags: FUCK YOU BRETT FAVRE, strahan, xmas ape
June 19th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
heckleheckleheckle
June 19th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Also, as long as we’re talking about sack records, I… oh, never mind.
June 19th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
I’m not quite sure why, but rather than hearing Michael Strahan’s voice, I’m hearing George Wendt’s on SuperFans. Impossible to explain really.
June 19th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
I hope Strahan’s show crushes Jimmy Fallon and his NBC Late Nite Show. I mean literally crushing him- not just in the ratings. I want to see Strahan and his late night crew beat Jimmy Fallon to near-death, but let him live with permanent and debilitating medical problems. Try breaking character and looking at the camera while laughing now, Fallon. You fucking douche bag.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
For some reason my mind went a different direction when Strahan asked Farve to “drop his ass to the floor.”
June 19th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
This post alone is ten times funnier than anything Jay Leno has ever done.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Rainn Wilson is in everything these days.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
@ Otto Man
Was that Dwight Schrute reference aimed at Ronnie the Bandleader or Brett Favre?
June 19th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
sweet, won’t be long until new retirement rumors start swirling, before he finally leaves strahan to star in the hilarious sitcom Brett Farve Controls the Universe…
June 19th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
HEIGH-OOOO!
P.S. Isn’t Ed McMahon is financial trouble now?
June 19th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
This needs to be a regular installment with various guests. At least one more, hah?
June 19th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Ronnie the band leader looks much more like a Jets fan.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
@ squirmin: As a Jets fan I respectfully dis… ah who the hell am I kidding.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Ronnie is the live-action version of Carl the Neighbor in “Aqua Teen Hunger Force”. He’s totally a Giants fan.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Fav-varah can have a bit where he suddenly adn randomly picks audience members and surprises them with a 100 MPH football to the head! EVERYONE LAUGHS!
June 19th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Gino:
It was aimed at Ronnie. And you’re right, he’s a dead-ringer for Carl. I’m betting there are Zubaz pants underneath that shirtless leather jacket.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you no sense of decency??
June 19th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Zubaz were invented by two Vikings fans in Minnesota. As a Vikes fan, I’m quite conflicted about this.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
How can you say Ronnie is a Jets fan? He never once urged the women in the audience to take off their tops.
2nd guest needs to be Tom Brady, this way Strahan can order him to drop his ass to the floor, like in the SB, and give a review of the SB footage.
3rd guest (if not 2nd) has to be Marmalard!
June 19th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Wait, BDD cornered the market on Zubaz pants?
June 19th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
No (Strahan). Yes (Tooth Gap).
June 19th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
At first I thought Ronnie The Band Leader was a live-action version of Carl from “Aqua Teen Hunger Force”, but now that I’ve looked at the above picture- Ronnie is actually Big Daddy Drew…in healthier days.
P.S. Trevor- You’re still a gay.
June 20th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Just out of curiosity, is this post’s header a spongebob reference. If so, I squeak my boots to you.