Sorry Javon, Vegas Is Money May’s Town
DON’T CROSS STREAMS!
As you probably know by now Javon Walker is currently laid up in a Vegas area hospital after being found beaten down shortly after sunrise yesterday. Reports claim that Javon had spent the previous few evenings/mornings spraying down various club-goers with tens of thousands of dollars worth (15 bottles) of horrifically overpriced bottles of Dom’s rosé. While the picture above appears to confirm those reports, one completely unsubstantiated rumor states that somebody in Floyd Mayweather Jr’s crew is responsible for crushing the receiver’s orbital bone.
You see, Vegas is Money May’s town, and when he’s giving his people a champagne shower you really shouldn’t try to upstage the recently retired pound-for-pound champion. According to message boards, the only source less reliable than those ne’erdowell bloggers, Walker thought he could outdo Mayweather, who reportedly went through 50 bottles of Cristal. As the story goes, somebody (or bodies) from Mayweather’s group of friends ran into Walker later that evening morning and gave him the old “keep your ugly fuckin’ goldbrickin’ ass out our desert community” speech. I can safely say that Mayweather himself was not personally responsible for any assault seeing as how he’s yet to surface at any area hospitals with a broken hand.
In completely unrelated news, my boy Andre Berto is fighting for one of Mayweather’s vacated belts this weekend. And yes, you bet your ass I’ll be boring everyone with boxing talk at Deadspin.
Note: This is precisely why you should never buy Dom, Cristal, or any of that other mass produced crap that makes you look like a baller. Learn from a Jew and buy artisinal bubbly. Oh, and tell those bitchy waitresses that if they want a corking fee, they have to earn it.
Image via the Sports Gamer Forum by way of SpyOnVegas.com
Tags: Blogsclusive?, boxing!, Javon Walker, Maybe he was mourning again, Spurious Rumors, Unsilent Majority, Vegas
June 17th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Lines! Lines! Lines!
June 17th, 2008 at 10:47 am
not picture: Zuul
June 17th, 2008 at 10:47 am
*pictured
June 17th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Help help…KSK is being redacted.
June 17th, 2008 at 10:49 am
CHAMPAKAKKE!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!1!!!!
June 17th, 2008 at 10:53 am
this story reminds me of the brutal champagne bidding wars of the late 1990’s.
June 17th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Cut Javon some slack. It’s not like he’ll ever have a chance to spray champagne in celebration.
I say, let the baby have his bottle!
June 17th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Egon: “Don’t cross the streams… it would be bad.”
Peter: “I’m fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing, what do you mean bad?”
Egon: “Getting laid out in front of a casino at 3:30 in the morning with a broken orbital bone.”
Peter: “Right, that’s bad. Important safety tip… thanks Egon.”
June 17th, 2008 at 10:59 am
Maybe Javon was just honoring the rap-world ban on Cristal. If that’s still happenin’.
June 17th, 2008 at 11:03 am
Rap-world ban on Cristol? What, is it made in sweatshops?
June 17th, 2008 at 11:09 am
I don’t get the whole “Spraying random strangers with overpriced alcohol” schtick.
If I get dressed up and show up at a club, the last thing I want is some fool spilling his drink on me, nevermind spraying it on.
Pacman had it right. Make it rain cash. That way everybody knows how rich you is.
Just don’t try to pick any of that money up or you’ll end up in a wheelchair.
June 17th, 2008 at 11:17 am
I’d beat his ass also if he sprayed me with bubbly. WTF is the point of that?
/hopelessly white.
June 17th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Learn from a jew and buy artisinal bubbly.
Manischewitz with bubbles?
June 17th, 2008 at 11:45 am
@ Bob:
Dude, it’s your classic “stick it to uptight society by spending tens of thousands of dollars on overpriced goods and them dumping said goods on the floor so no one can properly enjoy them” tactic. What’s not to understand?
June 17th, 2008 at 11:49 am
GG =
I guess I don’t have the disposable income to get my mind wrapped around it. However, I’m going to head down to strip club outside city limits tonight and spray bottles of Mad Dog and quarts of The Beast over the crowd. Perhaps I will understand after that. Perhaps I will end up with a bashed in face.
June 17th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Soon as the broken hand joke surfaced, I knew Maj had to be the writer.
/will be on Deadspin being the only respondent to Maj’s boxing talk this weekend
June 17th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
@GC – ah, kinda like OJ Simpson when he made sure no one could enjoy Nicole?
June 17th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
“Maybe Javon was just honoring the rap-world ban on Cristal. If that’s still happenin’.”
Well, I for one am glad that the rap-world is taking a stand on something. Maybe they’ll next address the Travis Henry-levels of illegitimate children or ungodly amounts of drugs.
\Mrs. Lebowski works labor and delivery, sees more crack babies than babydaddies
June 17th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
RE Grimey Says:
“Rap-world ban on Cristol? What, is it made in sweatshops?”
I believe the CEO of the company expressed something less than delight at being the champagne of choice among rappers and the rappers declared a boycott or somesuch. I guess a boycott of stupidity would have been going too far.
June 17th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Shanny ordered the Code Red! You do not leave the Broncos for the Raiders without paying a price.
June 17th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
javon walker has seen shit that’ll turn you white
June 17th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
What a dumbass. Everyone knows that spraying the crowd with bullets is much more effective. GAAAHHHH.
June 17th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Still safer than walking around Oakland.
June 17th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
You try to reinact the works of the Bellagio with champagne, you get your orbital broken
What a world
June 17th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
I think I knew this was an Unsilent post about 3 lines in.
I’m beginning to notice a disturbing trend involving rich people and Las Vegas.
June 18th, 2008 at 2:42 am
[...] initiated at the door of his hotel room as an some internet rumors indicate or a revenge attack for upstaging the posse of another sports star at Hard Rock Hotel’s Body English night club as other internet rumors [...]
June 18th, 2008 at 3:23 am
@qwijibo:
Fuck. Beat me to it.
June 18th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Bitch got knocked the fuck out!!!!
Maybe this will knock some sense into this overrated 3rd down receiver.
June 20th, 2008 at 11:08 am
[...] week’s draft, obviously inspired by Javon Walker’s incident, is rather simple. You pick one football player, active or retired, who you feel is most deserving [...]