Mainstream Mess: More MSM Crap About Blogs
Most of you don’t really give a shit about what people are writing about the realm of sports blogs, and really, neither do I. They never talk about me! Seriously, it’s the same shit over and over. It’s the Wild West! No accountability! I worked my whole life to get overrun by these turds!
The thing I hate about the practice of writing is that it’s so deliberately short-sighted. Granted, you don’t really care about the political climate in Zimbabwe if you’re, say, writing a recap of the Reds game. But the legion of wordsmiths out there are more often concerned with story angles than with getting a handle on what’s really going on. The “big picture” perspective — or its intentional, smooth omission — is my benchmark for great writing. And so many people are shitty at this.
So needless to say that this was all a bit of buildup for the topic at hand, namely David Wharton (of the Cambridge Whartons? [sips brandy] ) and his thinger in the L. A. Times, which suggests that sports blogs are actually toning it down. I’d link to it, but it’s not a very good article. Plus, I wasn’t interviewed!
But it deserves a response from us. Leitch responded here, and it’s good. Because some of us can’t be part of this so-called smarting-up of America. And if you assholes want to jump on that wagon, have fun. For the rest of us, I present a quick thing in response to Wharton’s asinine assertion of ass, in its entirety, simply titled, “Henry Dickens Longbottom And The Very Wet Lake.” Enjoy.
Edgy.
Hip. Wild.
In with the cool kids.
Fuck.
Fuck?
FUCK!
Piss.
Shoes.
Licking pussy when your parents are out of town.
Not because it’s cool. Because you want to.
Cocaine. Bernaise sauce. Shake well. Serves eight.
Seven if your dad is fat. Like mine.
Timmy didn’t make you do it, shithead.
I saw some cows fucking once and it blew my mind.
I am cool. I drink beer with girls.
I’ve never eaten out another girl’s ass. I’m okay with that.
Why couldn’t McIntyre be the one quitting?
Rumor has it he licked chocolate out of another guy’s foreskin.
Electricity is expensive, but cardboard is almost always free.
Sometimes you just have to play the hand you’re dealt, or curl that hand into a fist and plunge it into the ass of someone you love.
Cactus.
Fin.
Tags: MMP
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June 23rd, 2008 at 12:59 pm
*beats bongo drums in the background*
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Not a rim job giving kind of guy? Leaves more for me then.
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Rumor has it he licked chocolate out of another guy’s foreskin.
It’s a good thing KSK isn’t the kind of blog to just run with the first rumor it receives. If it was, I wouldn’t be 100 percent sure this item is fact.
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:07 pm
/snaps fingers approvingly
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Im gonna shove my fist up your ass hard and fast, not in a sexual way, in I am pissed at you way! – Danny Devito.
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Fitter. Happier. More productive…
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:15 pm
for me “Licking pussy when your parents are out of town” has been replaced with “Licking pussy when your kids are in the next room”
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Blog posts just aren’t complete anymore without a reference to fisting. Thanks, Internet!
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:24 pm
@UU – you couldn’t have said it any more perfectly.
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:31 pm
@Oats, luckily my kids are heavy sleepers
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:35 pm
couple of belts of whiskey and any kids a heavy sleeper
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Your dad is Lenny Clarke?
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Real cool, Daddy-O.
/ takes ironic puff off clove cigarette
June 23rd, 2008 at 2:00 pm
@CC
God loves his children, yeah. duh duh duh DUH duh da da da duh DUH…
June 23rd, 2008 at 2:02 pm
That lake won’t be wet once it gets a view of Drew’s fat ass.
June 23rd, 2008 at 2:05 pm
I am still here,
leaning toward this machine.
June 23rd, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Still here for the dick jokes. Shit, you know I aint got no self esteem © Loc Dawg.
June 23rd, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Cocaine. Bernaise sauce. Shake well. Serves eight.
Punte, are you sure these aren’t more “Ghostface” lyrics from Ape?
June 23rd, 2008 at 2:28 pm
But my mom says I’m cool.
June 23rd, 2008 at 7:11 pm
@UU
WORD!
June 23rd, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Wow, that was some mind blowing stuff there Punte. MIND. BLOWING.
June 23rd, 2008 at 11:10 pm
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
the internet, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the ether at
dawn looking for an appropriate milf or bestiality joke to jack off to.
KSK: cradle of the new beat generation.
June 24th, 2008 at 3:24 am
[...] ago is still hanging around.” And there’s plenty more of this stuff to be found at Kissing Suzy Kolber and The Big Lead and Mister [...]