Let’s Head On Down To Willard Scott. Hello Willard!
We’ve got one more: Tedy Bruschi, 100-years-young today, from Boston, Massachusetts. Beantown. Lovely place. Especially in the fall. Love to knock back them brewskis.
Tedy credits his longevity to a complex conglomeration of stroke medication and horse tranquilizers. And his mother’s pulled pork sandwiches. Ask him for the recipe, you gotta try them sometime.
He misses the days when all linebackers were white and you could play well into your 40s. Don’t we all, Tedy, don’t we all.
Tags: old linebackers, tedy bruschi, xmas ape
June 9th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Don’t taunt Willard during feeding time.
June 9th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
According to Wikipedia — which is never ever wrong — Tedy is his actual first name. All this time I thought it was the concussions that caused him to drop the second D, but looks like it was a genetic defect.
Also, his middle name is “Lacap,” which is French for “the cap.”
June 9th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Tedy Lacap Bruschi? What the hell kind of name is that? The Bruschi family must have an enforced brain damage policy. I heard he has a brother named Timy Lahelmet.
June 9th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Wait a minute. Bruschi is an Italian name. Retardation explained.
June 9th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
18-1
June 9th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
3 Super Bowls this decade.
June 9th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
HE’S 35 DICKFACE
June 9th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
I HATE THIS WEBSITE AND YET WILL CONTINUE TO MAKE MY PRESENCE FELT THROUGH A SERIES OF ANGRY AND POORLY-ARGUED COMMENTS
June 9th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
That’s Teddy Fuckin Bruschi too you dick face.
June 9th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
The first failed assassination attempt on Tedy Bruschi is often sited as the start of the first great hobo war of the late 19th century.
WERE YOU AWARE OF IT?
June 9th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
No that’s Tedy Fahhhhhhhkin’ Bruschi to you Dick Face. And, oh yeah, 18-1.
June 9th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
@ bizzo5000: I come for the hating, but stay for the Hodgman. Well met, sir or madam.
June 9th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Tedy didnt have a stroke he choked on a dick.
June 9th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
You sure he doesn’t have any Samoan in him?
His head looks like a cinderblock and if pro wrasslin’s taught me anything, it’s that those island folk have concrete skulls.
Oh, and 18-1.
June 9th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Fuck the bunch of youse.
June 9th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
This is pretty weak, even for the tired Patriots posts that pop up 18 times a week. Seriously, time to move on.
June 9th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
@Hank: No, but maybe he wants some?
June 9th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Stupid Computer, be more funny!
Seriously, I don’t get it. Oh, Teddy Bruschi is old? HA! thats great stuff. You should write jokes for SNL about John McCain. He is old too!
June 9th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
MCCAIN/BRUSCHI ‘08!
June 9th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Negative - BRUSCHI/BRUSCHI ‘O8!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkJo-WRiHl4&feature=related
June 9th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
To the Pathetic Whiners Who’ve Been Bitching in the Comments Section Lately:
You may not know it, but there are actually other websites on these here intertubes. Honest to God. This isn’t the only one.
And, according to a story I saw on Glenn Beck’s Cavalcade of Morons, not all of those other websites are devoted to hardcore pornography and/or Scientology.
If you don’t think jokes about Grandpa Bruschi are funny or you find that cheerleader posts offend your Victorian sense of decency, you’re entirely welcome to see what other sites have to offer. There’s really no need telling the rest of us that what we find funny really isn’t.
Thanks.
Oh, 18-1.
June 9th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Just for the record, I feel like I should note that I actually asked Ape if he would do this post, since Bruschi is my second-favorite Patriot (Maroney is #1, obvs) and I felt like his birthday needed to be commemorated. The request was made with the full understanding that anything other than a satirical and irreverent post would not be in keeping with the general tone of this website, so that is what I expected. Ape, I appreciate the post… thanks!
As to the rest of you, to the best of my recollection the Superbowl never happened, so I have no idea what this 18-1 nonsense is. 18-0 BABY WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
June 9th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
@Otto Man
‘fuck is a glenn beck?
And I’d visit these other webtubes you refer but I sold my search bar and favorites history to pay for gas. The last thing I googled was “low-brow dick jokes, animal snuff porn, and football.” KSK is the site that came up.
Since all I have left is the refresh button I will continue to express my displeasure when the KSK staff fail to deliver the ha-ha’s.
So in closing, cram it with walnuts ugly.
C. Goodtimes
June 9th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Some other notable June 9th Birthdays besides Tedy Lacap:
Johnny Depp, Natalie Portman, Cole Porter, Michael J. Fox, Aaron Sorkin, Patricia Cornwell, Dick Vitale, Peja Stojakovic, Udonis Haslem, Jeff Saturday and two of my favorites, Les Paul and Jackie Wilson.
KSK is doing birthday requests now?
June 9th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Chazz,
You won me over with the walnuts closing, so I won’t argue with you. In any case, my comment was really meant for Thom and the other members of the Wadded Panties Brigade.
As far as Glenn Beck goes, no one knows for sure. Apparently, if you have a third grade education and a history of inbreeding in your family, Headline News will give you your own show, even if the ratings hover around those of the 3am slot for the Home Shopping Network. I think he has photos of the CNN CEO blowing a goat.
June 9th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
I’d rather see Glenn Danzig and Beck as a CNN anchor team. Also, cram it with pecans- they’re like walnuts, but better.
June 9th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
I can’t bring myself to watch Glenn Beck, even though I really like Brian Sack.
June 9th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
How old does that make Junior Seau, dirt?
June 9th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
@ Otto - wait a minute, there are other websites besides KSK and porn sites on the internet? No Way I Say, No Way!!! How doy ou find these sites? I thought the internet was invented expressly for KSK and porn.
/been living under a rock
// Nice retort to the whiners Otto
June 9th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
Which Power Ranger was he again?
June 9th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
i think he only joined the power rangers after getting expelled from bayside for getting slater hooked on HGH.