Back by popular Ape’s demand is your friendly nabeyhood uomo ragno! There are not as many jokes as in previous installments, but who am I to argue with plot advancement? There are only supposed to be 10 of these things, so they gotta move it along, I guess. Time is money and whatnot. You guys you should probably find some former owners of a hip-hop label. They’ll throw money at anything!

It comes as news to me that the filmmakers are from Australia and are therefore probably related to Heath Ledger. Sorry, blokes, at least it looks like he did a good job in The Dark Knight, which the cream in my pants just creamed itself as soon as I thought about it.

I was on a conference call phone interview with Ledger when he was promoting The Four Feathers in 2002. Some other college writer dipshit asked if people in his hometown of Perth built cannons and fired them as a celebratory rite. He laughed and called the kid an idiot. That’s when I knew he’d die of an OD. It’s all in the intonation.