Ben Roethlisberger: IS FUNNY, MAN. EVERYTIME I’M WATCHIN’ THAT VIDEO MY MIND GOES BLANK. I MEAN IT GOES, LIKE

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BLANK.

JUST LIKE THAT

WHAT DO THE BRAIN WANT ME TO FORGET?

I EVEN ‘MEMBER THAT GAME ‘GAINST THE RAIDERS IN ’06 WHEN I THREW ALL THEM PICKERCEPTIONS. THAT WAS A BLOWER. AND ALL THEM SACKS I TOOK LAST YEAR IS PISTOL CLEAR. WHAT’S THE DEAL? SO IT’S NOT LIKE I BLOCKING STUFF OUT.

ANYWAY, RIGHT NOW I’M TRYNA BUY THESE TIXETS TO THE MESS WITH THE ZOHAN MOVIE. HEY YOU THINK HE RELATED TO THE LINDSAY ZOHAN?

HARF HARF HARF THAT’S JOKES.

IKE TAYLOR SAID WE SHOULD PUFF UP ON SOME CHEEB BEFORE WE SEE THE ZOHAN. I DUNNO. UNLESS THERE’S SOME MARIJUANA COLOR PAINT TO HUFF, I AIN’T GETTING NEAR THE STUFF. GIVES YOU REEFER SADNESS. I’M TRYNA KEEP POSATIVE OUTLOOK.

SINCE WE TALKIN’ MOVIES, I’M HOPIN’ HEAF MILLER GONNA WANNA SEE THE LOVE GORO WIF ME WHEN THAT SHIZ DONE DROP. REMEMBER GORO FROM MORTAL KOMBAT? IN THIS MOVIE HE IN LOVE. THAT’S A TRIP. HE PROLLY NEED BITCH WITH FO’ JUBBLIES TO SATISFY HIM. I AX MARVEL SMIF IF ANY GIRL HE KNOW HAS FO’ JUBBLIES AND HE SAY NAW. THAT’S SOME BUTT.

NOW THAT I GOTS ALL THE NEW CONTRACT MONEY – I BOUGHT MY FRIENDS AIRSOFT RIFLES SO THEY COULD PLAY MAD MAX ON THE BIKES I GOT THEM. CAN’T GET NEAR THEM THINGS THOUGH. THEY TRYNA GET ME TO RIDE ONE BUT I GET ALL TWITCHY AND PASS OUT. WHAT THE BRAIN GOT ‘GAINST BIKES?

ALL WILL BE REVEALED WHEN I HUFF ON THE RED PAINT. WORD HAS IT THAT’S THE ONE THAT IMPROVES ‘MEMBERY. HAD TO BE SOMETHING BAD WHAT HAPPENED.