George Carlin: Goodnight, funnyman
06.23.08George Carlin died yesterday. He was 71. You certainly don’t need us to tell you that he was the progenitor of the pissed-off comic that has been copied with varying degrees of success over the past several decades. Furthermore, it was Carlin who officially codified the seven dirty words. And as the LA Times could tell you, KSK wouldn’t be around except for those bon mots.
Carlin was right about many things, including his observation that everyone who drives slower than I do is an asshole and everyone who drives faster than I do is a maniac. This is one of his better known bits, and our favorite. Enjoy, all you assholes and maniacs…
“Listen to this dude Rufus. He knows what he’s talking about.”
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Counting down the hours until Carlin rises again. Oh glorious day!
TITS. It is such a friendly word. Sounds like a snack. Cheese tits… Corn tits…………….
@Bill
While Carlin might have become more bitter as he aged, his spite was understandable, given the changes he’d seen promised and shortchanged over the years. Even at his most pissed off, he was still funnier, more insightful, and more entertaining than the fuckups who pass for comedic talent these days. Used to be, a comedian needed something original to say. Now all he needs to do is either be so goofy he’s painful to watch (Will Farrell, Mike Myers) or be so foul-mouthed you think you’ve stumbled onto the sound stage of a hip-hop video.
Other than his part in “The Aristocrats,” Carlin hasn’t been funny in at least 10 years.
i was fortunate to find this quote: ““The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating…
…and you finish off as an orgasm.”
rip george
His breakdown of The Aristocrats joke is one of the best.
Favorite Carlin line ever, talking about douchebag guys…paraphrasing of course: “You know what we should do with these types of guys? Hold a big contest…we’ll call it ‘Slug Fest’ — just promise them a small appliance or something that makes a whirring noise — and put them all in a big dirt arena with no water or food, just whiskey and PCP. And then let them scratch and punch and kick and beat the shit out of each other until there’s only one guy left standing. And then we’ll put that guy up on a big pedestal and shoot him in the fucking head.”
Peace, where ever you are now Carlin.
ognihs:
That’s not quite right for the rape isn’t funny line. Go listen to the whole bit here, one of his best:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3av_qRR_DWc
I come for the jokes. tWWL gives me all I need to know about the NFL.
/not really.
watch your tongue around these parts Rocco
Baseball is better than football.
“Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.”
RIP George
“But he loves you.”
Sun bless you George
“I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?”
“You know what no one ever talks about anymore? Pussy farts.”
“There’s nothing funny about rape…..unless you’re raping a clown.”
he’ll be missed.
“I distinguish between maniacs and crazy people. A maniac will beat 9 people to death with a steel dildo. A crazy person will beat 9 people to death with a steel dildo, but he’ll be wearing a Bugs Bunny suit at the time.”
This man was my hero for my entire life.
“save the planet? The planet’s fine, the planet isn’t going anywhere…WE ARE!”
a pimp named slickback (why can’t i just call you ‘slickback’?)
Carlin. Heaven? I’d say highly unlikely.
Unless they start letting atheists in? Cool!
Never eat anything blue. Words that have kept me alive on several occasions.
On the matter of great comedians, Steven Wright’s still going strong. And Patton Oswalt is bordering on great.
Im sure Buddy Jesus was waiting with open arms and a big thumbs up when Carlin got to the Pearly Gates.
please return the stewardess to her original, upright, position.
But hey, look at the bright side. One less vote for fucking Ron Paul.
naw. this guy was my hero growing up. Lenny Bruce was already dead and Richie Pryor’s drug abuse was OTT. Carlin managed to balance that shit for a loooong fucking time. He could look right up your asshole and see out through your eyes. Man.
Don Rickles is easily the funniest man alive. Saw him in Vegas 10 years ago. I believe he was 84 years old at the time.
don’t you hate pants?
Guacamole–sounds like something you’d yell when you’re on fire.
“GUACAMOLE!!!”
Ever tried to sneeze while taking a piss? You can’t do it. Your brain literally says to you, “STOP PISSING!!! I’VE GOTTA SNEEZE!!!”
When you make a sandwich, do you ever go back past the first 3 or 4 slices of bread? To go back and get the GOOD BREAD? What you’re really saying is “Let my family eat the rotten bread. I’ll take care of Numero Uno!”
Have you ever walked up a flight of stairs, and thought that there was just one more stair? And then you have to explain it to every one watching you? “Don’t mind me… that’s just the third stage of syphilis.”
Ever notice how everyone else’s stuff is “shit” and your shit is “stuff”?
big ups for the bill and teds excellent adventure (my all time fave movie) reference. it is a sad day.
Hey, Rickles is alive, isn’t he? What is he, 96?
I always knew that working with Ben Affleck had to drain the life out of you. All joking aside, I found this out late last night and was immediately sad. About 5 decades of original material. Color me surprised if that happens with a good comedian in the future.
I think Lenny Bruce was probably the “progenitor of the pissed-off comic.” Carlin was great, but in the end his bitterness overwhelmed his humor. Having said that, the world has lost a comedic genius.
To paraphrase Chris Rock’s line: “Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Vanilla Ice..still alive…”
So. Fucking. True.
Goddamned Mencia and Cook still polluting us worse than Jersey swamp gas.
Porky – Don Rickles is still going strong.
Side note: As soon as I get home, I’m going to cue up “Interview with Jesus.”
“A water landing…” classic, man.
@porky1 – with the way the greats have been dropping off like flies, the crown may end up in Douche Cook’s hands. (“Don’t you just hate it when you can’t breathe?!!!!)
*SLAP*
R.I.P. to the great man. He knew how to be just on the bad side of inappropriately funny — which is where great comedians should be — but he also was smart.
To me, his greatest line was when he commented on Charles Barkleys’ “I’m no role model” ad. Carlin went on a tear about why we would let our kids dream of being roided-up freaks of nature and then concluded by saying:
“If you have a kid and you aren’t his hero, you are BOTH fucked!”
I just hope the Sun he worshipped took him into its fiery busom.
@ porky1
This is even more disturbing to me than rising gas prices
Forget Carlos Mencia, he’s an annoying wanna-be Chappelle meets Lopez, but at least he’s no Dane Cook. You realize there is an entire generation of douchebags living RIGHT NOW, breathing the SAME AIR as you and I who not only think Dane Cook is funny, but that he’s the best stand-up comedian out there?
Edit: Words. Compiled. Too. Early. To. Type.
I’m counting the days until the “yet Carlos Mencia still walks the earth” becomes obsolete.
An Incomplete List of Impolite Words: 2,443 Filthy Word and Phrases. Complied by George Carlin. Best List Ever.
Yeah, I saw his face staring back at me when I logged onto Yahoo this morning and the day was fucked.
All of the greatest comedians of all time are dead. All of them. Sure, Cosby and Seinfeld are still kicking but Cosby gave up when his kid died and Seinfeld just tailed off when he got mega-rich. There are the Chris Rocks and Eddie Murphys of the world, but they’re just the spawn of Richard Pryor and they’d rather be actors than comedians. Other than that, who’s GREAT who still performs well.
I will miss the hell out of George Carlin.
http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/401/322426868zk8.jpg
I propose that KSK should start a new series of posts ridiculing the dumb shit athletes say, and it be named, “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that” in honor of George.
Mr. Carlin truly helped shape my life and taught me to stop being so fucking naive and think for myself. RIP
RIP, you magnificent cocksucker