First Matt Walsh, now Nick Kaczur: are the Patriots a bunch of rat bastards? (Answer: yes)
Mr. Burns: Excellent, now what have you got for me?
Nick Kaczur: Nick Kaczur has become a snitch.
Nick KaczurMr. Burns: Tell me something I don’t know!
Nick Kaczur: Sometimes I go to the movies alone.
Pats starting offensive tackle Nick Kaczur got pinched in April for possessing a small amount of hillbilly heroin. Rather than face the music like a man In the interests of bettering his community, Kaczur offered up his dealer– engaging in some controlled buys while wearing a wire.
The dealer’s lawyer would have us believe his client is guilty of nothing more than being an overzealous, starstruck fan who warned Kaczur of the danger of his behavior. If he wasn’t charging him $3,900 for 100 pills, we might be more willing to believe the dealer was doing it out of the goodness of his heart. If being a snitch isn’t bad enough, Kaczur tried to run the okey-doke on the Globe reporter who broke the story:
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, bro,” Kaczur said repeatedly, in response to questions about the investigation. “I don’t know where this is coming from. I don’t know what you are talking about.”
I wonder if they had asked Kaczur about his team’s historic collapse in the Super Bowl if his memory would be so cloudy, “I don’t no nothing about losing the Super Bowl, bro. I’ve never even heard of David Tyree.”
Tags: 18-1, bad MS Paint, new england patriots
June 4th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Snitches get stitches, bitches.
June 4th, 2008 at 11:33 am
@Derrick- I always thought it was snitches end up in ditches.
June 4th, 2008 at 11:36 am
No, no. Snitches get itches in their britches.
June 4th, 2008 at 11:37 am
I think the word “britches” needs to make a comeback, by the way. I’m just saying.
June 4th, 2008 at 11:39 am
This begs the question, did Belecheat arrrange to have the drug transactions videotaped as well? Why just wear a wire, when the MILF slayer is so proficient in the videotaping of one’s adversaries?
Btw, Rodney HGHarrison does not approve of any illicit drug use among Patriot players.
June 4th, 2008 at 11:43 am
You stay classy Attelboro
June 4th, 2008 at 11:46 am
“bro” probably needs to be replaced with “brah”
just sayin…
June 4th, 2008 at 11:48 am
Those pills must be damn good, they’ve got him talking to himself.
If MILFSLAYER isn’t a movie/website, it should be.
God, how great was that fackin’ Super Bowl?
June 4th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
The only good snitch is a dead snitch.
/code of the streetz brahs.
June 4th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
This revelation is nothing.
Wait till we find out that Brady is scoring coke from Tawwmee from Quinzee.
June 4th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
so much for plan a. now he’ll have use his natural douchey-gayness to tap the douchey-gay loving 18 year old cheerleader.
June 4th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Per the story, “Kaczur said he had begun buying OxyContin in November 2007 and purchased 100 pills every few days, paying tens of thousands of dollars over time.”
Now, I am not interested in any drug that Rush Limbaugh chooses to abuse, so I don’t know anything about OxyContin, but “100 pills every few days” has to be for more than Kaczur’s personal consumption, right? To whom was he dealing?
June 4th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Wait, why is he talking to himself for three lines?
June 4th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Actually, it’s:
Witches put spells on
Snitches who then hitches up
Britches for pitches
/haiku
June 4th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Wait, why is he talking to himself for three lines?
Because I’m an effing moron.
June 4th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Snitchers and talkers get stitches and walkers.
Matt Kaczur needs to GET GOT.
So says the code, so it shall be done.
June 4th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
A Drug Enforcement Administration agent said in an affadavit that a cooperating witness—whose name was not revealed in the document—wore a recording device during three drug buys last month. In each of the deals, the witness bought 100 OxyContin pills from Ekasala for $3,900 in cash, the agent wrote.
DEA neglected to mention that Name, Address, and unlisted Number would be featured on the police report.
The NFL does not test for oxycodone but does prohibit the misuse of prescription drugs.
If he had asked the trainer, he would have received a jar of them with his name on a label.
June 5th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
I’ll kill a snitch. I’m not saying I have, I’m not saying I haven’t…
June 5th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
@Rocky
I can’t wait for Peyton to put the shiv in Kaczur during the coin toss.
June 5th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Can we at least stop with the clever names? HGHArrison. HAHAHA. Belicheat! Another great one. Come on commentors, you better than that. Right?
June 5th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
DeezNutz, I think you know that we are not, in fact, better than that.
June 5th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Oddly enough, a ‘roid snitch did get wasted today, along with his girlfriend:
“A convicted steroids dealer who recently met with NFL security officials and gave them names of players he said bought steroids from him has been found dead in his home.
Early Thursday morning, Plano police made a welfare check and found 35-year-old David Jacobs and 30-year-old Amanda Jo Earhart-Savell dead. Both had been shot.”