Tony Romo Gets Dumped
Int. Romo’s Living Room
[cellphone rings]
Tony: You got Romo!
Jason: Hello Anthony, it’s Mr. Garret.
Tony: Yo, J-dog, my man! You wanna go grab a few beers and wrangle up some low-quality tail?
Jason: Surely you jest, Anthony. As you well know, my time is far too valuable for such excursions. Besides, I do believe that philandering about town behind Jessica’s back would cause quite a distraction, something you can ill afford.
Tony: Ah, screw that, man. Jess has been getting all of these phone calls from some weird smooth-talking guy. I think she’s going to dump me, so I figure I better blow the whole thing up first. You know, gotta protect the rep’.
Jason: Indubitably. I’m sure you know best, I’ll let you get back to it then. Just please remember to review the changes in the playbook. The Annexation of Puerto Rico is quite simple for an Ivy Leaguer, but for those of us who matriculated through Eastern Illinois it could be rather complex.
Tony: Yeah whatever, broseph.
[Giggling sounds from the bedroom]
Tony: Hey Jess, are you actually talking to that wackjob with the accent again?
Jess: Shut up Tony, he’s more man than you’ll ever be. I don’t even want to see you anymore, I wish you’d just go home and stay outta my life!
Tony: This is my house you addlebrained cum-guzzler.
Jess: Whatever, you’re a loser!
Tony: Bitch!
[Jessica enters]
Jess: You can’t call me that, my new man is coming over here and his friend is gonna kick your ass!
Tony: Whate-
[loud crashing noise]
Jess: Oh KITT, I love you more than anything, and I wanna have your car-babies!
Sad but (supposedly) true, Tony and Jess are no more.
Big thanks to LSUFreek for the magic.
Tags: lsufreek photoshops, romosexuals, stealing jason garrett from drew, Unsilent Majority
May 13th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Little Giants?
FUCK yeah.
May 13th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
At this point, I’m pretty sure a Firebird to the crotch is just about what she needs to be satisfied.
May 13th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Was that a Little Giants reference… how do I remember crap like that despite the hazy inability to recall family member names or my own address at times?
What will KSK do without Jess-Omo to make fun off?
May 13th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
What will KSK do without Jess-Omo to make fun off?
Write funnier stuff
May 13th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Nick Lachey will mend Romo’s broken heart
May 13th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
I’ve started answering my phone with “You got Romo!”
Romo is not my name.
My friends hate me.
May 13th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Allow me to nerd-out for a second and point out Romo’s name is Antonio, not Anthony.
Fuck, I already nerded out when I got the Little Giants reference. Jesus … I don’t even know the ages to three of four of my siblings, but I can recall obscure quotes to 1990’s kid’s sports movies like no other. You should see me with Sandlot references.
/my friends clearly hate me, too
May 13th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Needs more drunk Jess.
May 13th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
[...] to KSK, Tony Romo and Jessica have split [...]
May 13th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Sad but (supposedly) true, Tony and Jess are no more
Not really sad. I feel pretty relieved actually.
May 13th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Cowboys fans are going to be pissed when they realize they no longer have a convenient excuse for why their team so consistently eats it in the playoffs.
May 13th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Wow yikes that was so bitchy. I’m going to go ahead and blame that one on Doc Rivers.
/resumes banging head against wall repeatedly
May 13th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Well, futuremrs, the Celts haven’t lost at home yet… Until next round.
May 13th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Clearly Jess was upset when she heard Romo singing and realized that he was better than her.
/ puts hearing aids back in
May 13th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Is it me, or does it look like Jess got implants? Maybe that dress does make her look fat!!
May 13th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
appreciated the use of broseph.
May 13th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
So which ditzy blond singer will they keep putting the camera on and blame for Romo’s stinker of a performance Christmas weekend at Texas Stadium. My vote’s for Kelly Pickler.
The only bad part is that it won’t be against the Eagles this year…
May 13th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
“My vote’s for Kelly Pickler.”
Is that Taylor Swift broad 18 yet? Because if she is, she’ll end up at a kegger with Leinart, Romo and a Lachey brother real soon.
May 13th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
could you possibly have found a gayer source?
methinks not.
May 13th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
That’s what happens when you sing better than your g/f.
May 29th, 2008 at 10:42 am
[...] Tony: So things are all over with that K.I.T.T. guy? [...]
March 23rd, 2009 at 6:26 am
Very nice Dallas Cowboys information. I hope to be in Dallas for a game this fall.
March 23rd, 2009 at 7:32 am
Can you provide more information on this for the rest of us far-away (Europe) NFL fans?