The Chiefs Are Men of Faith
According to the top headline on NFL.com this morning, the Kansas City Chiefs “believe in Croyle.” And why wouldn’t an eternal optimist like Herm Edwards believe in the guy whose completion percentage fell just one and a half points behind the Tarvaris Jackson? Hell, one time he threw for 216 yards…in one game!
At KSK we’ve managed to get inside the collective head of the midwest’s most consistently mediocre franchise to see just what else the Chiefs believe.
The Chiefs believe…
that Kelli Croyle’s bountiful protuberances were crafted by their Christian God.
that Dad just went out for some smokes and will be back home anytime now
in the Great Pumpkin. Largely because they see Ryan Sims every day.
in evolution, except for the whole Triassic period.
that they can fly, that they can touch the sky.
that an R Kelly impostor is fucking 13 year-olds to hurt his album sales.
that John McCain will live another four years.
in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, and that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap.
But most of all, they believe in a thing called love…
…just as long as it’s between a man and a woman and it has nothing to do whatever the hell was in that video. They are Missourians, after all.
Tags: Brodie Croyle, ksk group posts, These things I believe, tits, Unsilent Majority
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Sims was traded to Tampa Bay last year.
I believe Chief’s fans still see him in their nightmares.
Kelli Croyle’s bountiful protuberances are a thing of beauty – real or not.
If you can touch them, suckle them, and put your…sorry, getting carried away there – they are real.
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Yes, but do they believe in life after love?
Or, as Cher put it, doyu buleeeeeeeeeeee eh lah ata luh?
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:33 pm
What episode of “The Office” was that picture taken from?
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Do you believe in miracles?
/Al Michaels
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Sims was traded to Tampa Bay last year.
that was Drew’s!
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:36 pm
The Darkness. Yes.
“This Things I Believe”
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:37 pm
That George Bush will still reduce the federal deficit to half of what it was in 2003 by next year…
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:40 pm
What about Mike Ferrell’s core beliefs?
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:43 pm
We also believe in giving away free handguns with every car purchase!
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,357183,00.html
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Just what every suicidal Chiefs fan needs
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:45 pm
@Bizzo–That’ll teach me to read the post before clicking on the comments to make my Office joke.
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Chiefs fans cannot be happy about a QB who in the above picture looks exactly like Michael Bolton from “Office Space.”
Nor can they be confident in a guy whose full name gets typed into Google and the first thing that comes up is a picture of his hot wife with the smoking rack.
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Well according to Buzz’shorse’s link, they also believe in God, guts and guns. In that order? I’m not sure.
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Don’t let Otto Man see this….
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Hey just as long as the Chiefs believe in ‘playing to WIN THE GAME’
/hermspeak
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:18 pm
See, ya gotta have God on your side to use your guts to pull your gun and splatter other peoples guts all over the fucking place.
Personally, I’d rather just fuck the guts outta Croyle’s Wife.
But I guess that would go against every thing Missery stands for.
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:24 pm
“This Things I Believe”
…Can we accept that?
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:26 pm
God save The Darkness. I hope Justin Hawkins nose hasn’t fallen off yet.
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:28 pm
bull durham references, on a football site? now im just confused. confused and staring at that hot girls boobs
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:31 pm
worst yet, NPR weekly segment references on KSK?? E-WHAAAAAAAAAA?!?!
(http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4538138)
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:49 pm
You had me at Kelli Croyle.
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:52 pm
She’s aiiight I guess. I know Alabama has much better tail to offer though – who’s with me?
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:44 pm
I believe children our are future, teach them well and let them…..figure this shit out for themselves.
/Son graduates 8th grade tonight
// I feel old
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
you’re with me, sword swallower
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Faith is a fact.
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:04 pm
qwijibo- there’s been plenty of npr stuff on this site. just search through ape’s archives.
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:18 pm
As the site’s resident Chiefs fan, I can assure you that there are only three things I believe in.
I believe in Crystal Light.
And I believe in me.
And most of all, I believe Brodie Croyle will rank right up there with legendary Chiefs QBs like Todd Blackledge and Steve Bono.
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Chiefs QB’s motto: We’re still better than Grbac.
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:39 pm
@Otto Man: You’ve got a lot to look forward to this season, godspeed.
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:51 pm
@Otto: What, no medication or therapy?
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:53 pm
@Otto Man: You’ve got a lot to look forward to this season, godspeed.
Seriously. The team has never drafted and developed a decent QB, so this is in keeping with our cherished traditions, like gorging on sausages in the parking lot or matriculating prayers to Saint Stram of the Holy Toupee.
Part of me wonders if the team enjoyed the draft so much this year that they’re intentionally screwing it up Major League-style just to get a top pick next year too. It’s all part of a rebuilding process that should have us back in the playoffs by 2018.
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:54 pm
@Otto: What, no medication or therapy?
Does bourbon count as medication?
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:51 pm
@ Pemulis
No, faith is a facet. I almost said faith is a fact
May 22nd, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Wow…when did the Chiefs draft Jim Halpert? But that sure as hell isn’t Pam.
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:10 pm
“This I believe in: I believe in death. I believe in disease. I believe in injustice and inhumanity, torture and anger and hate. I believe in murder. I believe in pain. I believe in cruelty and infidelity. I believe in slime and stink and every crawling, putrid thing… every possible ugliness and corruption, you son of a bitch. I believe in you.”
Det. Kinderman (Exorcist III).
That has to cover the Chiefs pretty well…..
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:32 pm
As a lifelong Kansas City resident, I’m just glad you guys realize that KC is in Missouri and not Kansas. Everyone gets that wrong. Everyone.
Here’s to yet another sub-.500 season. Thanks, Carl Peterson!
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Christy Oglevee is hotter…