According to the top headline on NFL.com this morning, the Kansas City Chiefs “believe in Croyle.” And why wouldn’t an eternal optimist like Herm Edwards believe in the guy whose completion percentage fell just one and a half points behind the Tarvaris Jackson? Hell, one time he threw for 216 yards…in one game!

At KSK we’ve managed to get inside the collective head of the midwest’s most consistently mediocre franchise to see just what else the Chiefs believe.

The Chiefs believe…

that Kelli Croyle’s bountiful protuberances were crafted by their Christian God.

that Dad just went out for some smokes and will be back home anytime now

in the Great Pumpkin. Largely because they see Ryan Sims every day.

in evolution, except for the whole Triassic period.

that they can fly, that they can touch the sky.

that an R Kelly impostor is fucking 13 year-olds to hurt his album sales.

that John McCain will live another four years.

in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, and that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap.

But most of all, they believe in a thing called love…

…just as long as it’s between a man and a woman and it has nothing to do whatever the hell was in that video. They are Missourians, after all.