Quick-thinking Raiders fan performs emergency appendectomy, saves Chargers fan’s life
Kevin Hench’s woefully anecdotal-dependent take on NFL fan behavior has sparked renewed interest in this YouTube clip which purports to show a Raiders fan stabbing a Chargers fan during a drunken stadium brawl. As KSK’s resident self-loathing masochist Raiders fan, I feel compelled to defend the S&B faithful on this issue.
I can see how at first blush one could conceivably jump to the conclusion that something felonious is afoot. But what a casual observer might mistake for bleary, blood-shot eyes is actually the learned gaze of a seasoned medical professional. Admittedly he possesses an unorthodox bedside manner, but check out the deft touch as he artfully removes the vestigial appendage in mere seconds.
Fare thee well, Chargers fan. You and your satin jacket will live to see another playoff flameout, thanks to the knowing hands of his modern-day Albert Schweitzer.
Tags: bad MS Paint, impromptu production of West Side Story, oakland raiders
May 28th, 2008 at 8:01 am
As a Chiefs fan, I see nothing wrong with that video. It demonstrates that the Raiders are all mouthbreathing thugs and the Chargers are just spineless wimps who fold under pressure.
The only thing missing is a display of the Broncos’ douchebaggery. I guess Jay Cutler’s parents decided to take their marital fight out to the parking lot.
May 28th, 2008 at 8:42 am
In a pinch, he has been known to use it as a catheter.
May 28th, 2008 at 9:15 am
Real Raider fans stab people with sharpened tooth brushes.
May 28th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Real Raider fans stab people with sharpened tooth brushes.
Or the spikes on their adorable little costumes.
“Ooooh, how cute! Did your mommy help you apply the face paint?”
May 28th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Would the Raiders just change their name to MS-13 and get it over with?
May 28th, 2008 at 10:20 am
Awww Nana…not my prison shank!
May 28th, 2008 at 10:30 am
Completely agree with Otto… but the announcer was wrong. Raiderfan really DID find that inside a CrackerJack box. Along with some really neat fake tattoos that he could apply, if he had any room left on his body.
May 28th, 2008 at 10:34 am
Having grown up in LA I can say with certainty that Raiders fans make Boston sports fans look like perfect human beings.
May 28th, 2008 at 10:59 am
I can’t wait for the Tracheotomy procedure to be shown on video this upcoming season.
May 28th, 2008 at 11:04 am
I stab Chargers fans for fun all the time. I fail to see what the big deal is.
May 28th, 2008 at 11:20 am
@futuremrsrickankiel: I disagree with it for the exact reason I disagree with using a high-powered rifle to hunt a deer – it’s just not sporting. Deer hunters should have to use a ninja star or a louisville slugger. And if you’re going to beat up on a Chargers fan at least have the decency to handicap yourself – maybe handcuff a wrist to an ankle – or both if you’re a Pats fan.
May 28th, 2008 at 11:54 am
That Raiders fan is sadly misguided. Though stabbing a Chargers fan is good clean fun and certainly needs doing, it’s futile. Stabbing Al Davis (over, and over, and over) might achieve the desired result and will certainly yield more street cred in San Quentin.
May 28th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
– “White Power!”
– “I AM white!”
May 28th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
That’s what we call a “Bay Area Handshake”
May 28th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
“Stabbing Al Davis (over, and over, and over) might achieve the desired result and will certainly yield more street cred in San Quentin.”
Yes, but you have to use a silver or wooden stake, cut off the head, cremate the body, and scatter the ashes on holy ground. Too much work.
May 28th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Stephen Jackson just bought season tickets.
May 28th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Wow…
Just wow…
The orignal blog entry was sickeing on it’s own, especially the “woefully anecdotal-dependent take on NFL fan behavior” which implies that there is no evidence that such events took place.
Take off the fanboy goggles and diaper and put on some big boy pants and act like a fucking man. Every single one of those vile acts occured and was captured from multiple angles on videotape.
I guess the second most appalling thing about this is the bloggers bleating and farting and completely joking manner about the stabbing of another human being over a goddamn football game.
Like it’s no big deal.
Like it’s something to be proud of and to tell your kids about and point out to them as a model of good and proper behavior.
Like it’s admirable and something to be emulated.
The most appalling thing is that every other mook who has left a comment has agreed that such vile behavior is “cool/hip/par for the course/no big deal.”
Congratulations, you just lost me and at least 200 other readers forever.
Hope your proud of yourselves.
May 28th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Hope your [sic] proud of yourselves.
Pleased as punch, shitheap. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
May 28th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Ha! We don’t have 200 readers!
May 28th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Ben, you forgot this:
-affirmed
May 28th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Well somebody’s awfully sensitive about getting shived, did we get on our soapbox at the wrong time during “recess”?
May 28th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
I think I saw gravy oozing out of the Chargers fan.
May 28th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
I’m gonna stay just to make sure Ben doesn’t come back.
May 28th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
GG on the trolling Ben, 9/10.
May 28th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Wasn’t funny when it happened. Not funny now. Sorry flub.
May 29th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Look, that shit wasn’t cool. Only thing on the site I’ve disagreed with, not suprising it’s from the worst writer on here. Maybe next we can show one of those worthless Raider fans raping a chick in the stands, huh? Really dude, if some piece of shit stabbing someone at a game is a joke to you then maybe you should get shanked yourself
May 29th, 2008 at 10:20 am
Didn’t this come from “Maximum Exposure”? Sounds like the announcer…
May 29th, 2008 at 11:28 am
how old is this video?
i’m not even sure this was at a raiders game. it could have been an a’s game, a graduation, waiting for the bart or muni…
May 29th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Flubby,
Yeah, with a name like that, I’d expect you not to just like that kind of sicko depravity, but in fact to love it. Admit it, you spend all day in the basement online jacking off to shit like this.
You are filth.
You are gutter scum of the lowest kind.
You are utter and complete trash as well as being a misogynist of the vilest kind.
I pray that you will be diagnosed with 4th stage bone, brain and liver cancer and that you will suffer an agonizingly slow death over the course of 4-5 years.
May 29th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
@ Ben
Where you shanked and assraped by a spiked band of Raiders fans?……
it’s ok lil fella you can talk to us about it.
June 3rd, 2008 at 1:27 pm
buzz,
I haven’t gone to a sporting event, college or pro in nearly 15 years precisely because of the type of shit that y’all are applauding and cheering.
Flubby,
Where the fuck did you run away to, you pussy? Fucking coward. Own up to what you said like a mand and come back and take your punishment like a man.
But you’ll never do it, ’cause you’re too busy getting fucked in your shit smeared butthole by your grandpappy while you fuck your sisters 9 month old daughter, right?
Thought so.