Peter King’s Memorial Day With The Troops
Hey folks, Peter King here with Sports Illustrated here with America’s bravest as they do battle with evil forces abroad. I’m a long way home from the cozy confines of New Jersey, but I’m here to support–
[explosion nearby]
Hey fellas, I’m shooting a remote, can you keep it down over there?
Sir, I’d like a venti Café Au Lait with extra whip and a double shot of expresso…Okay, okay, forget that; make it a tall Cinnamon Dolce Latte with Sugar Free Syrup and…Well where is the Starbucks on this base?…Are you serious? Okay, okay, just give me a Coke Zero, then. I’m not picky.
- And then get this flimmity-flam, General. I go to wipe my ass, and there’s no toilet paper! So I’m screaming like a banshee in the handicapped shitter in Hartfield-Jackson, “Bring me some toilet paper!” And then some janitor came by and stole my bags.
- That’s a great story, Peter.
- Hopefully someone will see this sign and send you boys some supplies. Thank God I’m leaving this place in two hours. No Starbucks, no satellite radio, no ESPN. Won’t it feel great to get out of this dump? When do you get to leave?
- Ten months, if I’m lucky.
- …Oh.
- Peter, thank you for bringing this to our attention. I’m going to get to work on a ten-point plan that will bring designer coffees to our troops. Just don’t ask for a timetable on that.
May 27th, 2008 at 7:59 am
Judging by picture #3, Coolio isn’t aging well.
May 27th, 2008 at 8:27 am
silly PK, that’s Under Armor, not body armor.
May 27th, 2008 at 8:40 am
I liked the part where he entertained the troops with stories about downloading to his iPod and how great Keri Russell was in “Waitress”.
May 27th, 2008 at 8:40 am
That last photo has clearly been photoshopped.
Everyone knows President Bush says that book learnin’ is for fags.
May 27th, 2008 at 8:59 am
Wait a second – there’s a FOB that doesn’t have a Starbucks? Well, shit, what the hell are we paying KRB all that money for?
May 27th, 2008 at 9:27 am
Peter, I know that Brett Favre has been called a “warrior,” but you won’t find him out here with Haji.
May 27th, 2008 at 9:30 am
I wish they had used PK as a human shield.
May 27th, 2008 at 9:39 am
That last pic is obviously photoshopped. No WAY Peter King’s head is that small.
May 27th, 2008 at 9:41 am
How does Bush get a tee-shirt on over that huge fucking head?!
May 27th, 2008 at 10:00 am
Peter King’s constant promoting of the integrity, intelligence, and skill of the troops in Iraq has me convinced: I’m quitting my promising near-six-figure job today, dropping out of my evening MBA program, and enlisting. After all, Pat Tillman was a brave man and an American hero, yes???
May 27th, 2008 at 10:07 am
Pat Tillman was a brave man and an American hero.
Now, his superiors were lying, warmongering douchebags looking to mislead the American public. What’s your point?
May 27th, 2008 at 10:19 am
I love the smell of haterade in the morning.
May 27th, 2008 at 10:19 am
oh, and, uh…
/dick joke
May 27th, 2008 at 10:25 am
WTF is your point Pete? Shaky ground bud.
May 27th, 2008 at 10:39 am
PK looks like an overfed genetic hybrid of Gary Busey and Jon Favreau.
May 27th, 2008 at 10:59 am
Wow Pete, you really walked through that trip wire of stupidity! Hope that “MBA”,from the internet, earns you that ditch digging job.
Way over the line…
May 27th, 2008 at 11:00 am
This post has embiggened us all.
May 27th, 2008 at 11:24 am
That’s a perfectly cromulent word.
May 27th, 2008 at 11:40 am
Nah, Pete, I wouldn’t enlist… you just keep doing what you’re doing. Surely the U.S. will get through this jam with the help of a few more University of Phoenix M.B.A. scholars.
May 27th, 2008 at 11:40 am
Bit early for such serious chatter, no?
May 27th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Looks like Emmitt Smith has taken to posting on KSK under various pseudonyums. Way to remain autonomous there Emmitt…
May 27th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
I admit, I read Peter King every week. That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t annoy the shit out of me most of the time. His column yesterday was basically his “coming out” column where he swapped undying loyalty to Brett Favre and switched it lock stock and barrel to Tarvaris (sp?) Jackson of the Vikings. Plus, would it kill him to thank the troops around the world on Memorial Day? I’ll do it, thanks to all of you serving, and that have served in defense of our country. I, for one, really appreciate it.
May 27th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Wait till you see which four recievers PK’s sucking off today. Let’s just say I could have guessed two of them before the column was even written.
May 27th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Pete, feel free to wallow in your own crapulance.
May 27th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
at least he followed through with a meeting with the president.
May 27th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Glad to see Art Shell landed on his feet.
May 27th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Wow! A picture of PK masturbating down the food line with the troops.
No really, he was masturbating over Brett Favre, and now it really is creamed corn for lunch.
Ever notice how the biggest fucking retards always stumble into the best jobs?
May 27th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
[...] insider dick stroker. (buy us an old style and will tell you what we really think about him). kissingsuzykolber pokes some fun at his trip to [...]