Golly, this is great weather for a walk. It’s such a beautiful day. Sometimes you just have to make time and take a stroll through the neighborhood. Some folks have said this community’s lost a bit of its luster. How can they say that when everything looks so beautiful? Did I make that change to my 401(k) last week? I’ll have to call my accountant in the morning to make sure.
Wait a second. Wait just a…who the fuck is that? That’s not…nooooo….is that…a black guy? Oh fuck. He IS black! OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK! A black person in my neighborhood! Okay, okay, just relax, Bob. Maybe it’s Wayne Brady. You like him from that one show, remember?
Oh no, that’s not Wayne Brady. Holy shit, holy shit, I can’t relax now! What about my kids?!?! They’re all gonna do drugs now! I can almost hear the value of my house plummeting. And the real estate market’s in such a bear cycle as it is!
Oh my Christ, he’s coming closer! Oh shit, I’m trapped! If I cross the street, that makes me a racist! My wife’s friends will never let me live it down! Oh, God, I wish I was a cop so I could just shoot him and get it over with. Ack! He’s almost upon me! Please don’t kill me, sir! I’ll give you my wallet and you can buy all the Colt 45 you want! Oh God, he’s gonna ask for my wallet! Will some other white person over 40 please help me! HELP ME!
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
Oh, fuck, that was close. I better cut over a block and jog home, before he gets to my house and tries to steal my car.
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23. I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great. I don’t know who you are but definitely you’re going to a famous blogger if you are not already ;) Cheers!
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that was supposed to be italicized…
[i]Oh, God, I wish I was a cop so I could just shoot him and get it over with. [/i]
lmfao.
@Upstate Underdog:
No, he will vote for Obama, thereby proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is not in fact racist. You gotta love white guilt.
that has what to do with football?
What, no joke about how “If we knew it was gonna be this much trouble, we’d have picked our own damn cotton”?
If you’re gonna go lacist, aim high!
j4b:
True dat.
@eddiebear: you know Wikipedia never lies. It’s the stone-cold truth.
Aticus what the fuck bro?
If you’re saying your brain is forced to be racist, you’re probably a racist, and ignorant enough to form your opinions based on the news (also racist).
I live in an Upper Middle Class town which boarders a Lower Middle to Lower Class city. We think like this. It’s not racism; it’s just stereotyping. When you see on the news that someone gets shot every other day in a neighboring town, (yet alone when it comes into YOUR town) your brain is almost forced to think like this.
j4b:
Thanks. I’m not up to speed on my racial stereotypes.
the troof is stranger than fiction
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3385156
apparently “boating while black” is a chargeable offense in some parts of the country
Oh Shit! It’s Marvin Harrison!
/sip-sip sippin on sum sizzerp
Black and white people need to work together to stop all this nonsense. It’s horrible that we have to accept this kind of thing on a daily basis. You know what I’m saying. We need to stop Ricky Martin. What’s that? He’s already been stopped? Just sort of went away, huh, ain’t that something. Carry on.
For a minute, the green and grizzled face made me think the guy was a fat Brett Favre.
The part of the story I don’t get is the black guy didn’t stab him. So this is fiction?
And black kids just want Purple Stuff
Jeez Punte, that was wrong… Give me your wallet.
@ jackin 4 beats: I am strangely relieved that the Wiki entry is actually titled “Purple Drank.”
black guys drink Gin n Juice now, right?
Purple drank baby, purple drank.
you see, white people are racist like this
where as black people are racist like this
Colt 45? How old and white is this white guy? According to the ads I see, black guys drink Gin n Juice now, right?
Men! We leave up the toilet seat! And we won’t ask for directions!
Such cutting edge comedy!!
+1 to TF.
as a white person, I must say that I am offended by this post. it’s not that I’m afraid of black people, it’s just that I don’t understand the rules of dice, and what if he asks me to roll a game in the alley with him?
I hate the off-season.
Sometimes when I see crackas acting all jittery, the best way to break the ice is to just scream “BOO” and watch them jump out of their skin. It never ceases to bring a smile to my face.
Also funny is a good, “What the fuck are you staring at bitch?!?!?” I can always smell the fear after one of those.
Ahhhh…the good ol’ days.
Keep hope alive
Hey, where de white women at?
nah he’ll vote for obama….hes not black…but a secret muslim underneath!
that guy ain’t voting for Obama.
@Tracer Bullet
Reverend Wright questions your blackness.
This is what goes through Le Punte’s mind at 4:04 AM. hmmmph
I think I read this bit in MAD Magazine back in the early 80′s. But racism can still be funny.
Yeah, that’s pretty much what we assume you honkies are thinking.
Please. The preferred nomenclature is “cracker.”
What on earth could have inspired this?
Three centuries of white guy paranoia?
Yeah, that’s pretty much what we assume you honkies are thinking. Sometimes I like to stand really close to white people in the elevator just to make them sweat. I gotta enjoy racism somehow.
What on earth could have inspired this?
Yeah, Puntel. That was a ritter bit lacist.
Black Guy: Oh fuck, its a Klansman. Look at that grey goatee, black sweatpants, and Carhart hat. OhmyGodOhmyGodOhmyGod.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
Fuck, that was close. I better get home before he rallies a mob.
Kinda reminds me of my inlaws who live in a gated suburb of STL, and refuse to go into the city unless I drive them.
Jeez, Punter that’s just racist.
Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a cracker?