NERDGASMIC!
Shutdown Corner has gameplay video of Madden ‘09, not due out until fucking August because fuck me, that’s why. Could do without “The Power and the Glory” shit. Normally I disdain people that get obsessARE THOSE NEW PLAYER ANIMATIONS AND CAMERA ANGLES!? Cause, really, it’s just a game and FUCK RANDY MOSS IS DOING THE SOULJA BOY DANCE! I’ve got more important things to do than I WONDER WHAT RATING RASHARD MENDENHALL GETS? HE BETTER BE ABLE TO BREAK SOME GAT DAMN TACKLES!
May 15th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
This video is bullshit. There’s no way the traffic would be moving that smoothly at game time.
May 15th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
I am actually a little psyched about this one, after not buying last year’s edition for the first time ever (it had just gotten too complicated, too repetitive, and too…not fun). But now that they’ve got the next-gen edition thing down, it should suck less.
Here’s to working from home, dude.
May 15th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Appears to still have the flaw of not being able to challenge whether a receiver has possession before a fumble. I love me some NFL and I love me some video games, but EA Sports can suck my dick.
/no stats in online created team games for Madden 08, WTF?!
//gigantic fucking nerd
May 15th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
New feature: “Enhanced” scouting reports.
Too soon?
May 15th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I’m not getting this game unless it gives your character the ability to pick up a hooker to refill your stamina, then stab her to death to get your money back.
or at least that should be jerramy stevens’ end zone dance
May 15th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
mini dagger, there is SO MUCH potential for a GTA/Madden crossover. I think you just blew my freaking mind.
May 15th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Dude I think I just filled the cup….
May 15th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
new feature: “pointless” videotaping the opponents sidelines during games.
May 15th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
I ended up playing All-Pro 2k8 a lot more than Madden 08. No Madden game’s ever topped NFL 2k5, which I saw running in a video game shop on an old PS2 and looking pretty damn good. Despite not having the HD sheen of Madden 08’s specatacular 15 fumbles and 10 INTs per game replayed on the Madden cam.
Think I need to get over EA and the NFL playing grabass at 2K Sports’ expense? Maybe. Fuck you!
May 15th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
mendenhall’s rating goes up 10 points when a defender points a gun at him.
/too soon?
May 15th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Well at least we know the Patriots and Randy Moss will be over rated.
May 15th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Maybe they can have Joe Buck announce this one, so that I won’t have to get excited about anything that happens.
May 15th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Tawmmy’s Madden rating has ta be at least a hundred and fahteen ovah-all ahr EA Spahts iis a buncha Pats-hating queeahs.
Mahss needs ta be ranked at least ninety-fah.
Welkah gets a fackin infinity symbol next ta all his ratings!
And NBA Live needs ta have Welkah as an unlawkable playah fa the Celts ta break up the dahkie mahnawtahny!
May 15th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
@klitz
The ratings don’t go higher than 99
May 15th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
O line still looks like shit . . . so it’s got that going for it.
Really, fuck you, EA. Nobody cares about whatever new useless features you’ve added to the presentation this year. I just want some goddamned pass protection.
May 15th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
@Porky
I laughed til the Welkah part. Then I really cracked up. Nicely done.
May 15th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Also, no one’s awaiting this release as much as Ethan Albright. If he’s under 80 this year, there’s gonna be a massacre.
May 15th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
But does this game feature shots of Tawmmy from Quinzee in the stands shouting racist remarks and puking all over himself?…. Because if so….dare I say…..This might be the greatest game ever???
May 15th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Oh shit, I was too slow posting my Tawmmy joke….might I add Porky, that was pretty damn funny
May 15th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Moss’s celebration at the end is to gay, even for this site.
May 15th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
But most importantly: Will it have the new Lucas Oil Stadium and will I have the option to pump in extra crowd noise during key defensive stands?
May 15th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
GIMMEE YR PEE ROSA
May 15th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Let me get this straight. The Patriots lose the Super Bowl, and then they get to be the home team on the demo version?
Fuck.
May 15th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
They were 18-0.
I fucking hate it when the humps on NFL say that. No, fuckheads, they were 18-1. And that 1? Kinda important.
May 15th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Baht smeos,
that fahkin “1″ has ah pretty gawd damn big ahsterisk ohn it ohn accahnt of the wiiiiikhed terrible clawk officiatin’ in supah bowl foahtee too!!!!
May 15th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Did I just see Vince Wilfork drop into coverage? AND no one on the opposing team got a late, dirty hit resulting in a 4-week rehab stint? Utter bullshit.
/billsfansdontletthingsgo
May 15th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Every year I go “Great, EA is rehashing Madden again” and I keep promising myself I’m not going to buy it. And then the videos or screenshots come out and I go “Fuck you EA. If you’re going to rape me, at least be gentle.”
I hate EA. I love Madden. And thus, my conundrum.
May 15th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
folks, you need to let your anger go, get out of the house, and find some obligingly slutty asian chicks. just a suggestion.
May 16th, 2008 at 1:46 am
To program that game faster?
May 16th, 2008 at 1:49 am
@ Jujrock:
normally I’d tell you tell you to get off your moral pedestal, and tell you to stop telling me how to live my life. But its spring, your’re right. Lets all go outside and try to attract some asian girls with our billiard skills and promises of upper class ascension.
May 16th, 2008 at 8:45 am
Any truth to the rumor that the official title is “Madden ‘08: Easier than Getting Laid”?
May 16th, 2008 at 9:13 am
wait.Shockey actually gets a catch?
May 16th, 2008 at 10:25 am
@Jack Donaghy’s Hairsuit
A+ for that comment.
Fuck Madden, fuck EA, fuck the uniform editor that changes the pants color when you switch the helmet stripe, and fuck all those 4-eyed cocksuckers until they bring back MVP Baseball.
May 17th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Ok, it’s not 10 picks, but fuck it, this is a day old. I have no idea how “The Jungle” by Upton Sinclair fell this low, but what a steal. I especially love how Sinclair brings in a character to prove a point in favor of socialism, refuses to develop said character for seven chapters, and brings him back when it’s politically convenient. What a fucking hack.
I think my 10th grade english teacher made us read this because she was a militant vegetarian. Nice try bitch, I’m going to eat a roast beef sandwich now. Cheers.
May 17th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
Since I just commented in the wrong thread…
…BRING BACK NFL BLITZ! Fuck you NFL and NFLPA for your monopoly-liscening douchebaggery. I have no problem with Madden, but my desire to choke-slam Wes Welker and not have it called “pass interference” remains unquenched. Why aren’t people more pissed off about this?
May 18th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
[...] Preview of Madden 09. Hang til the end to see Randy Moss do his best Tecmo Bowl Bo Jackson impression. [...]