KSK Commenter Draft: Irrational Hatred
At KSK, we revel in the full breadth of antipathy, whether it be aimed at deserving targets like Peter King, the city of Indianapolis, Carl Peterson and Carson Palmer. Or really deserving targets like Patriots fans, Patriots players and Patriot Pat.
What gets lost in this festival of rancor are (What? Love? The fuck is that?) those people you hate deeply and irrationally, whereas the consensus of them is frustratingly positive. These are people (Tina Fey) that everyone seems to love and, on the surface, seem decent enough but just happen to rub you the wrong way (Tina Fey) to the extent that you’d like to cast them into the most gator-filled pond you can find. (The gators have a taste for female comedians also).
These need not be sports figures, per se. I find it’s not difficult to find easy justification to hate an athlete. Maybe they don’t exhibit outward obnoxiousness, but do they play for your favorite team? No. Welp, there you go. I justified my hatred of Marcus Allen for years with that one.
My opening pick: Mary J. Blige. (Tina Fey is too easily justified)
Good gracious, this woman is a warbling bag of annoying. “Family Affair” just won’t leave the goddamn radio, will it? Yes, Mary, I have plenty of hateration. And I don’t even have to go to a fucking dancery to have it either. What was that album called? “No More Drama”? Nice away message for 6th grader. DIE.
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Tags: commenter drafts, xmas ape
May 30th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Mike Krzyzewski.
And if I have to explain it to you, then fuck you too.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:13 am
Miguel Tejada. Get fucked you clap-happy sonofabitch!!
May 30th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Maybe they don’t exhibit outward obnoxiousness, but do they play for your favorite team? No. Welp, there you go. I justified my hatred of Marcus Allen for years with that one.
I almost needed a therapist when Allen went from the Raiders to my Chiefs. It was like emotional whiplash.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Janeane Garofallo: Too easily justifiable?
May 30th, 2008 at 11:15 am
I’m gonna go out on a big limb and say George W. Bush. From the first time I saw him on TV, there was something just not quite right about him. I think mainly it’s that he wears suits with shoulder pads to make himself look bigger and struts around like he’s actually accomplished something.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:16 am
Casting Director for “That 70’s Show”
probably a good person but I shouldn’t have to spell it out
May 30th, 2008 at 11:16 am
Kwame Kilpatrick.
Arguably the worst American mayor in the last 50 years and absolutely will not step down while facing an almost certain perjury conviction.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Just so we’re clear, I take it we are supposed to pick things that most people like, but we hate AND there is no good justification for the hatred.
I’m just spelling this out because I’m already seeing things that nobody likes AND can be hated for so many perfectly rational reasons.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Will Smith. Arrogant asshole, I think.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Motherfucking god-damn Joan Cusack.
I hate her, so much… That… it… it… flam - flames. Flames, on the side of my face, heaving… breath - , heaving breaths. Heaving breath…
May 30th, 2008 at 11:19 am
David Terrell. I once witnessed him catch a 6-yard pass ,(his first catch of the game…in the third quarter) get up, and proceed to do a dance more elaborate than the “Ickey Shuffle”
May 30th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Unitard, you have to be chewing on your own mouth when you say that.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:19 am
I think Dougery makes a good point. I hesitated on Coach K, but then I remembered that fucking commercial with him where a day in his presence becomes some kind of baby boomer circle jerk.
But picking George W. Bush when he’s got the approval ratings of airborne syphilis is just too easy.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:20 am
will leitch
May 30th, 2008 at 11:21 am
All of you.
Just kidding. I kid because I care.
Blood drive telemarketers
If it’s gotta be irrational, I’m going with the American Red Cross volunteer that calls me every month tricking me into giving blood. Yeah, I’ve got O-, but f___ if you don’t sell 80% of donations to research companies that can buy that stuff.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:21 am
Jared from Subway. Too lazy to make your own goddamn sandwiches? OK: here’s a lifetime endorsement, love Subway.
Eat shit.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Kobe Bryant…such a douche
May 30th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Rachael Ray. She seems like a nice lady, and she’s hot enough, but her voice makes my skin crawl. Are we allowed to irrationally hate-fuck our draft picks?
May 30th, 2008 at 11:23 am
While there is certainly justification for hating David Wright (douchebag!), I’ll pick him because the extent of my hatred is probably a little irrational. I fucking hate that asshat. YOU ARE NOT A GOLD GLOVE THIRD BASEMAN! bYou and Lo Duca were
made for each other. Die.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Sarah Jessica Parker. Can I get an “Amen?”
May 30th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Tawwwmy Brady.
Nuff said
May 30th, 2008 at 11:24 am
the fat bitch from Barefoot Cuntessa on Food network. my wife watches it.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Fergie. I can’t stand this pig whore. She keeps popping out terrible catchy songs that are constantly played on the radio. She thinks she’s hot when in reality she looks like Corky from Life Goes On. Lets not forget she pissed herself herself on stage. I liked to set her face on fire and put it out with a pitchfork.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Raphael Nadal: Yes, I watch tennis sometimes (I’ll let you all decide how gay that makes me), and I want this man to tear his achilles tendon everytime he steps on the court. I don’t really think I have any justification for this feeling.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Can I have sloppy seconds on the Rachel Ray hate-fuck?
May 30th, 2008 at 11:25 am
charlie brown.
pathetic fucking loser.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Every single fantasy football expert.
You are all full of shit. (except you, Football Outsiders, I love you)
May 30th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Either Tim Buckley or Paris Hilton
…I think I’ll go with Paris
May 30th, 2008 at 11:26 am
Joe Lieberman, mostly because he sounds like he’s burping every time he talks. That’s the irrational part. The rational hatred comes from the fact that he’s a flip-flopping chicken-hawk.
There, I feel better.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:26 am
I don’t know if it’s irrational, per se, but the best I can do right now:
I hate those fucking Salvation Army bell ringers. I’d offer them money to stop ringing that goddam bell while I’m anywhere near or in the store, but they wouldn’t take it. Lots of other people seem to think they’re a jolly, merry harbinger of the holidays, but they just annoy the fuck outta me. More and more every time I hear them.
One day, I will probably be arrested for grabbing the bell away from one of them and flinging it into traffic.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:27 am
First I am with porky1 big time.
My pick that cumguzzler Tim Duncan. He has never fouled anybody. I hope the mutt enjoys his summer.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Oprah. Fuck her.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Everybody hates Rachael Ray. I’m pretty sure even she’s sick of herself.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Good Charlotte. Your a god damn pop band, ur not even the least bit badass, so easy with the tatoos and what not. And that god damn whiny voice is like nails scratching a chalk board
May 30th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Stop saying mutherfucking EVOO!!! Saying “olive oil” takes less time, Rachel!
May 30th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Dane cook…and i know everyone that’s smart hates him too, but apparently, there are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more dumb people in this country and that’s how this dumb dick has a career.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Nickelback - die in a fiery bus crash you poseurs.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:30 am
The fat kid from Superbad. God I want to punch him.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:31 am
Everyone who is on Chuck Norris’s balls
Fuck ‘em.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:32 am
Wow a lot of Rachel ray hatahs here. Neat.
Kevin Garnett.
Stop popping your jersey and screaming KG. You still ain’t never won shit.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:32 am
Brett Favre. No explanation necessary.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Chris Fowler: Never heard anyone criticize, but he seems like a fucking smug douchebag to me.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:33 am
FUCK, DC I totally forgot about Dane Cook. SJP must have blinded me with pick #1.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:33 am
American Broadcating Company
8 months til the next episode of LOST. FUCK YOU.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Tom Colicchio from Top Chef. IT’S JUST FOOD!!!
May 30th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Not sure if Bill Belicheck is preclued from selection because of the opening Pats salvos. If not, I’ll take double B for the win. I only hate him because… I really have no idea why.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Willem DaFoe. Seems like a good enough actor, just bugs the shit out of me for some reason.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:34 am
The New Radicals. Fuck you and fuck your collection of bucket hats.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:34 am
@Unitard: that was Madeline Khan from Clue…
Bobby Flay. I’m sure he’s a great guy, but WTF? That fucker’s everywhere on the Food Network. They push one star to the limit and then you’re hated by the world, and they dump you…
May 30th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Donald Trump. Don’t want him dead, but probably would risk the jail time to kick him square in the nuts. Lousy businessman with a great PR machine, hair that just defies logic and physics, and won’t fucking stop breeding. It’s just disgusting at this point.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:35 am
JK Rowling.
I could’ve done that shit.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Kevin Costner. The Willem DaFoe (who I’m cool with) pick reminded me how much I hate Costner
May 30th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Shia Lebouf…could someone seem like they’d be less likeable in person than this kid?
May 30th, 2008 at 11:35 am
@ rusrus - I agree about Flay, except I’m sure he’s an asshole.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:36 am
Do I have to wait a full 50 turns to knock out the entire cast of “the view”? Yes? Okay, then it is my duty to waste my day doing so.
First: Elizabeth Hasselbeth, the brainwashed, kinda-sexy-if-she-wasnt-crazy-and-fucking-annoying, with of a backup quarterback.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:36 am
I can’t believe I’m the first to list Oprah.
Her associate (lackey?) Dr. Phil is next.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Larry the Cable Guy.
Not only painfully unfunny in a Branson Missouri All-Star Revue kind of way, but he’s not even a genuine redneck. He grew up in a middle-class suburb in Nebraska and went to private school. His whole schtick is a white trash version of blackface minstrelsy.
You and Carlos Mencia need to have a murder-suicide pact. Git-R-Done, assclowns.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Bridgette Moynihan
You’re cute, but did you really need to provide Brady with a fertile womb?
No. No you did not.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Or:
Oprah is off the board
May 30th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Kanye West
Pompous, and for no good reason.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Tyler Perry.
Not only do I have to deal with your newest race-diminishing portrayal of Madea or cookie-cutter shit ripoff of Waiting to Exhale polluting the poster frames at the local theater EVERY SIX MONTHS I have to watch the puke-awful promos for House of Payne during every TNT playoff game.
Not. Fucking. Funny.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:38 am
as a kid my top irrational hatred was of Sundays.
In theory, its a weekend day, and since my folks were not religious, there was nothing scheduled, a free day to do whatever i wanted. Sounds like heaven. But school was right around the corner, spitefully making me hate a perfectly good day. All i wanted to do was play with transformers, or later video games or my friends, but no. all the fun was tempered with unease as the awfulness of Monday loomed over me mocking my Lego castles, saved princesses, or time spent hanging out in the woods (if we were really lucky with our hands on beer or boobs or both).
fuck Sundays as a kid. way to ruin half the weekend you stupid… day of the week.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:38 am
the entire cast of Friends. how the fuck did that show last so long while Arrested Development last 3 seasons?
May 30th, 2008 at 11:38 am
Anyone who drives the actual speed limit (or inexplicably under it): I’ve got places to be people, and you’re adding minutes to my trip. I guess this isn’t that irrational on its face, but my murderous thoughts certainly are.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:38 am
Dave Matthews. Please die quickly and take your fans with you.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:38 am
The dude with the big mouth from the “carhop” commercials.
Anyone? Is this thing on? Tap tap tap
May 30th, 2008 at 11:38 am
all four of the Sex in the City bitches. Get ‘em out. Each and every annoying one of ‘em.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:39 am
Gotta go with Jerry Seinfeld. Everybody loved Seinfeld, but whenever I watched any part of an episode I want to strangle the whole lot of those worthless fucks.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:40 am
From your mouth to god’s ears, dougery.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:40 am
+1 to Unitard’s Clue reference.
Seth McFarlane. I don’t actively hate anything he’s done, but fuck him anyway.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:40 am
That little shithead kid on the one commercial that comes into his parent’s bedroom and lectures them about investment strategies. I LOATHE YOU.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:40 am
@dougery
I experienced that same feeling of Sunday dread.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:41 am
Howard Stern, used to be good but he’s a douche now
May 30th, 2008 at 11:41 am
Journey. Fuck fucking Journey. I hate them. Fuck Journey.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:42 am
Bill O’Reilly. I have never witnessed a man more in love with himself.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:42 am
@dougery
You think your Sundays were bad? Just imagine if your parents were religious.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:42 am
Dave Chappelle.
Your absence leaves the door open for the redneck comedians and Mencia. Come back and all is forgiven.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:42 am
People who walk their cats on a leash. You know who you are.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:43 am
@Naptown
any hatred of BOR is exceedingly rational, so I’m not sure if it qualifies for this draft
May 30th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Van Morrison.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Irrational hatred to a “T”….
Michael Jordan. Fuck em’.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:43 am
@camcam
The wizard cat gets what the wizard cat wants.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:44 am
The inventor of th baby bjorn.
You’ve turned millions of infants into yuppie scumbag accessories.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Keith Olberman. He was cool on Sports Center, now he is just a douchebag that calls everyone that disagrees with him the worst person in the world. fuck off.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:46 am
will ferrell - used to like him back in the 90’s on his early days of snl. now I wish he would die.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Along the lines of TDub’s pick, parents who dress their babies in political t-shirts. Congrats, fuckface, you just turned your baby into a protest sign.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Lil Lebowski…that is the very definition of irrational hatred. Love so much that you hate. Hater of the year.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:47 am
Ray Romano. Everybody might have loved Raymond, but I sure as fuck didn’t.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:47 am
@TDUB, amen. my next pick was going to be people that only dress their infants in name brand clothes that they will outgrow in a month. Note to parents, 9 month olds do not care if there cloths come The Gap or Wal-Mart.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:48 am
Warren Buffet- for calling himself “The Oracle of Omaha.” What a stupid fucking nickname.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:48 am
@TDub
Fair enough.
50 Cent. G-G-G-G-G-G-G-Grow up and make some meaningful music rather than try to convince us that you “Still Kill.” Your bodyguards are laughing at you.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:50 am
UU,
but if the child doesn’t learn how to dress to succed now, when will she?
May 30th, 2008 at 11:50 am
Brett Ratner.
Fuck that guy. Anyone of us on this board could just tell the cast and crew “let’s just do what it says in the script and go home.”
May 30th, 2008 at 11:50 am
I was going to go with Jim Kramer, but he was on AD which earns him grace points for life. So Suze Orman. STFU you fucking hag, I’m only checking on PBS to see if The Civil War or The War is on, I don’t need your shrill voice in my head for one second.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Sorry, didn’t wait my turn…just really wanted to get that one out….will forfeit one pick…
May 30th, 2008 at 11:51 am
good point TDub
May 30th, 2008 at 11:51 am
@naptown 50 making a comeback. Burned down his baby mama house this morning rather than let her live there. Well done and welcom back
May 30th, 2008 at 11:51 am
ANYONE who pronounces the word nuclear “nuke-you-lar”. its “nuke-lee-ar”. makes me want to rip my ears off when i hear it.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Jimmy Buffett.
Where I come from, sunburned beach bums who sing shitty songs about booze and cheeseburgers are properly known as “homeless people.”
May 30th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Sorry, Auksyte, George W. Bush has already been taken.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:54 am
now that’s funny
May 30th, 2008 at 11:54 am
This pick would have been perfect about 2 years ago. Katie Couric.
I got so sick of hearing about how great she is at interviewing. No, she sucks. Now that she’s mired in last place, I feel that my hatred is vindicated. It might even be rational at this point, but I’m sticking with it.
And porky1’s pick of Tyler Perry is brilliant!! An absolute steal.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Tony Parker. Easy.
TP and I have the same birthday; he is exactly one year older than me. Look at what he’s got - multiple rings, Eva Longoria - and look at me.
Personally, I think this is pretty rational hatred.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Adam Sandler. Stop talking like a fucking six year old.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:56 am
emo kids. stop fucking crying, you live in the suburbs.
great pick Otto, with Jimmy Buffet.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Alfonso Soriano. Just because you’re using a telephone pole for a bat doesn’t mean you need to swing at every pitch. And stop it with the fucking hop already. Also, Big Brown called. He wants his teeth back.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:56 am
The Eagles.
@Mr. Snrub: I really doubt he gave himself that nickname. Seems like the most down-to-earth billionaire we’ll ever see in our lifetime.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Christiano Ronaldo.
I just flopped and threw my laptop four feet in the air.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:57 am
slothrop. Fantastic pick on Suze Orman. I absolutely loathe her, and she was next on my board
May 30th, 2008 at 11:57 am
Eddie Vedder
May 30th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Flavor Flav…I guarantee Martin Luther King would hate Flavor Flav.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:58 am
not clear on if i have to choose a person, or can i just hate anything??
so, 2 options -
mayonnaise. just the sight of it makes me wanna set fires.
or…
mariah carey. bitch is not cute. achieved penultimate hatred watching her throw out that ‘pitch’. and listen, celebrities. if you know your ass is going to be nationally televised throwing a ball to a guy, does you think that it behooves you to try it at home once or twice so’s you don’t look like a total fucktard?
but yeah, fuck mayo and mariah.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:58 am
i know GB is taken, but i take everyone else off the board who pronounces it that way. i will now add people who pronounce the “t” in “often”. its effing silent people.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Anyone who fucking stands on an escalator. IT’S NOT A FUCKING AMUSEMENT RIDE. GET ON AND KEEP MOVING!
May 30th, 2008 at 11:59 am
@ Lebowski. I’m sure he didn’t, and he does seem fairly down to Earth in interviews, but this is irrational hatred, not “perfectly acceptable reasons for hating” and I still think it’s a dumb name.
If he had any balls he’d order death squads to eliminate anyone who called him that, but he doesn’t so he must like it.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:59 am
I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this in other drafts/hatefests, but I fucking hate people who back into parking spaces. Nobody ever has to leave a place so fast that they can’t take the time to back up. They take twice as long to back into a parking space (and still can’t manage to take up less than 1 1/2 spaces) as they would just pulling in the regular way and then backing out when they leave. Backing into a parking space has replaced the popped collar on the polo shirt as the premier signal of the Assholius Americanus species. Every time I see a vehicle that’s been backed into a space, I feel nothing but contempt for the (usually) unseen driver.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Pedro Martinez.
I’m pretty sure everyone likes him (even most Red Sawks and Yankee fans), but I loathe the man. He’s just a jerkass who doesn’t give a fuck about his team, he only cares about himself. When the Mets signed him to a FOUR YEAR DEAL, I screamed in agony. I just knew he was going to spend almost the entire time on the DL from random bullshit injuries while cashing the checks from his house in Panama.
Fuck him in the earhole.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Jimmy Fallon - especially since he’s going to take-over for Conan who’s taking-over for Leno.
Fuckyou - you’ve been auditioning for the job since you used to throw pencils at the camera during Weekend Update on SNL - shitty Letterman ripoff!
May 30th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Bon Jovi. The whole fucking band, but especially those John and Richie douchebags. How does that band have any credibility? Uninspired, mediocre bullshit. Yet, lots of people love them, I mean, LUUUVVVV them. Argh.
Do I have to wait 50 turns to add their entire fanbase to the list, or can I include them all in one big Fuck You?
May 30th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
gaht-dammit manny, Mariah was mine. I know african-american men everywhere hate me when I say this but she looks atrocious
May 30th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Lost. Fuck that show.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Mark Cuban. Try being more like Warren Buffett.
@ Mr Snrub. good call
@ Mr. Buffett, I will join the impending death squad for $2000/hit. Cash please.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
@Slash: Preach it brother. I have to restrain myself from keying cars backed in.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Jay fucking Leno.
He’s not funny, he’s never been funny, and the fact that his show consistently beat Letterman’s shows what morons most people are.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
pink floyd. Bunch of my friends say i would like them if i just gave them a listen, but absolutely refuse. I’m sure I’ve heard some of their songs on the radio or at parties, etc, but I wouldn’t be able to distinguish them from any of the other songs by bands I don’t know.
hows that for irrational? I hate something and I don’t even properly know what it is.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
ooh-ooh-ooh… Tom Cruise. No explanation needed.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Hillary Clinton.
I agree with most of her policies, even more than Obama, and she seems like she could do a good job. I just can’t get over the fact that I hate her for no reason at all…
May 30th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Wanda Sykes.
stupid.
annoying.
unfunny.
cunt.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
now he is just a douchebag that calls everyone that disagrees with him the worst person in the world
So he’s the mainstream media version of Drew and Ufford?
My next pick is Senator Susan Collins. I fucking hate her and her “bipartisan friendship” with Joe Lieberman, and her stupid voice that takes for fucking ever to complete a sentence. Eat shit and die.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Tom Colicchio is a talentless judgemental prick who makes me want to… I dunno, march in a Gay Pride Parade, maybe?
/seriously, fuck you, Tom Coliccio
May 30th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
American Idol. It’s more than a thing, it’s a hate.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
@ TDub
i did my research. of three black dudes polled outside my house this morning, 66% agree while the remaining 33% would fuck her anyway. but that guy was the neighborhood rapist and a former baltimore ravens special teamer.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Kids aged 7 and up.
You’re not cute anymore.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
@Slash
The “back in” is bad, but I hate the “pull through”. You’re about to pull into a spot and someone takes it from the OTHER SIDE as they pull all the way through so their car is facing outwards. God I can’t stand that.
And while I don’t hate Tina Fey, I just don’t see what’s so funny about her. She’s just a zero.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
I am with Mr. C and Slash, but there is nothing irrational about your respective hatreds. they both are perfectly justified, as would be any murders that result therefrom.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
soulja boy - go away. do not come back.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
High five, dougery.
I respect 3-4 of their songs but people who put them up there with the Beatles and Zeppelin are out of their fucking minds.
And with that, my next pick: Ringo Starr.
Ringo actually had the balls to imply that since the Beatles may have been the greatest band of all time, and he was the drummer for that band, then he was the greatest rock and roll drummer of all time.
And he WILL be the last surviving Beatle, put money on it.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
@Slash: some people may have pulled through you know.
Fuck you people who speed and are always in a rush. I’m the guy who drives 55 in the left lane just to piss you off.
Julie Roberts.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
@ smurphette,
and I picked Lieberman, so I think we’ve formed some sort of ineffective alliance against their bipartisanship, or something.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
FIGJAM. David Feherty can’t mock him enough in that Crowne Plaza ad.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Chris Berman. The man has never had an original thought in his broadcast career and is a fucking caricature.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
girls with big sunglasses…no one finds it cute that you’re covering up 60% of your face…i’ve made it a policy to automatically assume that there’s something wrong with your face or you have a lazy eye that you don’t want anyone to see. Even worse is the cute girl who wears the big sunglasses…why waste what god gave you?
May 30th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Hunter S. Thompson: Sure he’s dead, but he lives on through his works. And I fucking hate, hate, hate his works. I hate everything about his style.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Brett Favre is taken, so i’m going to go to my next NFL pick — Steve Smith (from carolina). initially, it started off as purely from a fantasy football stand point, but when i was forced to defend my stance regularly to some friends, it evolved into full-on hate for the man along with the fantasy football numbers.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Edit: That’s Julia Roberts.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
judd apatow - fuck you and your shitty-ass movies
May 30th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Man i get in late and still get my number one pick:
Michael Mann. Fucker.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Bill Maher. Preachy smug asshole who thinks he’s better than the rest of us. News flash douchebag, you’re not. C’mere and lemme show you my Louisville Slugger
May 30th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
@TDub: Wordsies. I hate him, too, but my (or any Dem on the Hill’s) loathing for him is pretty justified.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Larry Bird. Great career in Bahston; but ummm thanks for fucking the Pacers up beyond repair. I routinely turn down free tickets to the games now. And your face looks like a PSA warning about inbreeding.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Hipsters. Originating from Brooklyn, they came like a swarm up north in their skinny jeans, wolf t-shirts and 80s-era Ray Bans and turned my college campus into a wasteland of ironic detachment. FUCK YOU for making me wade through a wall of cigarette smoke every night just to get to the library. FUCK YOU for scheduling TV on the Radio as a concert. FUCK YOU for not participating in any class I ever had with you and just sneered at everyone who actually gave a shit. I want to take your fucking neck bandana and ram it down your throat.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
@ Manny,
those special teamers… they’ll screw anything!
May 30th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Just a thought: I’m noticing that a lot of these hate picks are completely rational.
It should be someone that’s pretty universally liked; there are plenty of people who hate Rachael Ray, Jimmy Fallon, Adam Sandler, etc.
And wasn’t the idea of the draft to pick individual people, and not “pet peeves”
(the back-in parker, the cat leash owner) or things (Sunday)?
May 30th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Fast food workers & managers.
When I ask for ketchup, I expect more than 3 packets you cheap ass punks.
I’m done irrationally hating….
Blood drive volunteers
Fantasy football experts
American Broadcasting Company
Bridgette Moynihan
Dave Chappelle
The Eagles
Mark Cuban
Fast Food workers
May 30th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
fucking ray lewis
May 30th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
I kinda hate dudes who, when getting off an elevator and see that I’m getting on same elevator, stand there and “hold” the doors open. I guess they think they’re being polite, but a lot of them seem to expect me to express thanks for doing what amounts to standing. The elevator doors aren’t going to immediately snap closed when you step off the elevator. Just fucking get out of the way and I’ll take it from there, thanks. Just for the record, I don’t have a problem with people (men) holding a door open for me, if said door could possibly swing closed and hit me in the face or crush an appendage, thanks for doing me a solid, but the elevator door thing, totally not necessary.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Here’s irrational:
Bugs Bunny.
I always wanted Yosemite Sam or Elmer to just splatter his brains.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
@Juice Springsteen
Amen. That was my next pick.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Jennifer Aniston
May 30th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Plenty of people may hate Adam Sandler, but not nearly enough.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
I just realized I picked Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan. Hmmm.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Here’s irrational:
Bugs Bunny.
I always wanted Yosemite Sam or Elmer to just splatter his brains.
So says someone named Porky.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Naptown Drew: Value Pick. especially good if you had made a deal to pick him today, but not actually hate him for a year.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Even though it is not so much as irrational than justified, I am taking the steal of the draft this late into it:
Dick Cheney.
1) He once tried to convince the American public he is NOT part of the Executive Branch, being President of the Senate
2) His Halliburton stock has gone up 3000% in the last year
3) He, along with Rumsfeld and the Pentagon, convinced George Bush to invade Iraq, while Colin Powell and the CIA were screaming for continuing in Afghanistan and into the Pakistan border
4) Did I mention his Halliburton stock has gone up 3000% in the last year, helping this cabinet to become the first ever Billion Dollar Cabinet only AFTER becoming elected?
Despite getting his own monument and dedicated east wing in Hell, I still somehow have an irrational hatred too great for this man.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
cheese. with the caveat that it is not warm or melted onto something (a la pizza or grilled cheese). cheese is just clammy and cold and it is milk that has gone bad and don’t even like milk that is still good. Oh, so it is goat’s cheese and that will make it better? fuck you.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
@ Juice: Hipsters didn’t originate in Brooklyn. They may have a large presence there, but that’s because hipsters, like ancient Hebrews, are a pastoral nomadic people. They roam the country raising their smug douchery (instead of sheep) in certain locations before eventually leaving for a more fertile ground. No one knows where they originate, but they’ll likely be heading to Boise, according to their migratory patterns.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
The whole blood giving industry. From the jerkoff nurse who stabs the needle’s with extreme force, to the jerk off who wears the “I just gave blood!” sticker with his arm wrapped in pink prewrap for 2 weeks.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
pseudo-intellectual College Freshmen.
Just because you read a little bit of Descartes this semester does not make you any smarter than you were last year when you shelled out 200 bucks for a Jostens class ring.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
To all the incarnations of SuperMike. Fuck you.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
People who order cosmos. appletinis and the such. Ties up the god damn bartender when all I want is a beer.
And related, bartenders who have no fucking clue how to pour a Guiness. If I want that much head, I will go to Hunts Point.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Hard to parse out the rational hatred from the irrational hatred, but, I am going to give it a stab:
David Cross
His stuff is really funny. He seems like a likable guy in that “nerd friend who can get on your nerve a bit” kind of way. In fact, he was even on Arrested Development, but, for some reason, I LOATHE this guy. Don’t know why, but, when I hear his voice, I cringe.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Ugg boots. Is Ugg short for fucking ugly, because that is what those are. 10 years from now chicks that wear those are going to look back and wonder what the hell they were doing.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Chipper Jones
Fuck you for naming your kid Shea.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
@crazy joe davola
Spot On.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Every pro player who in the middle of their contract wants more money and says they won’t play/report/show up until they get it - you know what, fuck all of you in the ass with a giant red wood tree. In the real world, the boss would tell you ok, don’t bother coming back. Greedy pricks.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Wyclef. Just seems like an asshole.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
@RexyBack: I know of no one who likes Cheney. Justified? Yes. Judges ruling?
May 30th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
@John S. Great pick, I think that counts as irrational.
Next pick is Jon Stewart. I enjoy The Daily Show, but Stewart’s just been rubbing me the wrong way for awhile now.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
RE Jeff K Says:
The “back in” is bad, but I hate the “pull through”. You’re about to pull into a spot and someone takes it from the OTHER SIDE as they pull all the way through so their car is facing outwards. God I can’t stand that.
I actually don’t mind the pull through, I do it myself sometimes. And you can tell the difference between someone who’s pulled forward and someone who’s backed in. The backed in vehicles are almost always crooked.
RE Voice of Unreason: I specified “people who do these things.” The guideline didn’t say the hatred had to be of famous people. I just can’t think of any beloved celebrities that I hate or celebrities that haven’t already been established as worthy of robust hatred (Trump, O’Reilly, Bush, Rachael Ray, Mariah Carey, Hilton, etc.). I dislike most of those people too, but they were taken.
I know we’ve done a peeve draft. If I can come up with a famous person I really genuinely hate that isn’t universally despised, I’ll put it up.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
I fucking hate Scarlett Johansson. Staring vacantly at the camera with your mouth open is not goddamn acting, you vapid dipshit. Oh, and you ain’t fooling me. I know you’re not a natural blonde. She’s very pretty, but I simply CANNOT fathom how this dumb piece of shit somehow weaseled her way into “serious actress” status.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Bill Paxton. How an actor his worthless has been in so many big hits and now his own HBO series just makes me wonder, who do you have to blow to get gigs like he’s gotten, in Hollywood. Answer: Ask Bill Paxton.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Ugg boots have to be the ugliest things ever, don’t look good on anyone, and should be banned.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
@ Voice of Unreason.
am completely with you on the most of these picks being perfectly rational. But I just shrug and say give the people what they want, a thread to express their hatred for sometimes obvious things.
Regarding your other point, when the post mentioned the entire city of Indianapolis I first read that as the physical entity, its people and architecture and everything, so I figured Sundays and Cheese were fair game. I have since re-read the original post at definitely does seem more geared toward individual people or groups of similar persons. So I may be in the wrong…
May 30th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Sports: The show “PTI”. Most. Overrated. Shit. Ever.
Non-sports: Please, please, PLEASE stop forcing Sarah Silverman on me and telling me she’s funny.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
@ Rexy and Rocco,
I’m gonna say it doesn’t count… if you can make a cogent argument for why he’s so hateful (and you can), I’m not sure it fits in this draft. Same reason as Bill O’ Reilley
May 30th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
gregg popovich - eat dick, robot
May 30th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Sure to popular with CC, but here goes: Scarlett Johansson. Go away and stop fucking up Waits’ music.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Can we draft soon-to-be ex-wives? Or is that too rational?
May 30th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Wow, no one took Coldplay? I can’t believe people actually like this shit they call music
May 30th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Men who wear crocs.