KSK Commenter Draft: Irrational Hatred
At KSK, we revel in the full breadth of antipathy, whether it be aimed at deserving targets like Peter King, the city of Indianapolis, Carl Peterson and Carson Palmer. Or really deserving targets like Patriots fans, Patriots players and Patriot Pat.
What gets lost in this festival of rancor are (What? Love? The fuck is that?) those people you hate deeply and irrationally, whereas the consensus of them is frustratingly positive. These are people (Tina Fey) that everyone seems to love and, on the surface, seem decent enough but just happen to rub you the wrong way (Tina Fey) to the extent that you’d like to cast them into the most gator-filled pond you can find. (The gators have a taste for female comedians also).
These need not be sports figures, per se. I find it’s not difficult to find easy justification to hate an athlete. Maybe they don’t exhibit outward obnoxiousness, but do they play for your favorite team? No. Welp, there you go. I justified my hatred of Marcus Allen for years with that one.
My opening pick: Mary J. Blige. (Tina Fey is too easily justified)
Good gracious, this woman is a warbling bag of annoying. “Family Affair” just won’t leave the goddamn radio, will it? Yes, Mary, I have plenty of hateration. And I don’t even have to go to a fucking dancery to have it either. What was that album called? “No More Drama”? Nice away message for 6th grader. DIE.
Tags: commenter drafts, xmas ape
May 30th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Mike Krzyzewski.
And if I have to explain it to you, then fuck you too.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:13 am
Miguel Tejada. Get fucked you clap-happy sonofabitch!!
May 30th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Maybe they don’t exhibit outward obnoxiousness, but do they play for your favorite team? No. Welp, there you go. I justified my hatred of Marcus Allen for years with that one.
I almost needed a therapist when Allen went from the Raiders to my Chiefs. It was like emotional whiplash.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Janeane Garofallo: Too easily justifiable?
May 30th, 2008 at 11:15 am
I’m gonna go out on a big limb and say George W. Bush. From the first time I saw him on TV, there was something just not quite right about him. I think mainly it’s that he wears suits with shoulder pads to make himself look bigger and struts around like he’s actually accomplished something.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:16 am
Casting Director for “That 70’s Show”
probably a good person but I shouldn’t have to spell it out
May 30th, 2008 at 11:16 am
Kwame Kilpatrick.
Arguably the worst American mayor in the last 50 years and absolutely will not step down while facing an almost certain perjury conviction.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Just so we’re clear, I take it we are supposed to pick things that most people like, but we hate AND there is no good justification for the hatred.
I’m just spelling this out because I’m already seeing things that nobody likes AND can be hated for so many perfectly rational reasons.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Will Smith. Arrogant asshole, I think.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Motherfucking god-damn Joan Cusack.
I hate her, so much… That… it… it… flam – flames. Flames, on the side of my face, heaving… breath – , heaving breaths. Heaving breath…
May 30th, 2008 at 11:19 am
David Terrell. I once witnessed him catch a 6-yard pass ,(his first catch of the game…in the third quarter) get up, and proceed to do a dance more elaborate than the “Ickey Shuffle”
May 30th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Unitard, you have to be chewing on your own mouth when you say that.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:19 am
I think Dougery makes a good point. I hesitated on Coach K, but then I remembered that fucking commercial with him where a day in his presence becomes some kind of baby boomer circle jerk.
But picking George W. Bush when he’s got the approval ratings of airborne syphilis is just too easy.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:20 am
will leitch
May 30th, 2008 at 11:21 am
All of you.
Just kidding. I kid because I care.
Blood drive telemarketers
If it’s gotta be irrational, I’m going with the American Red Cross volunteer that calls me every month tricking me into giving blood. Yeah, I’ve got O-, but f___ if you don’t sell 80% of donations to research companies that can buy that stuff.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:21 am
Jared from Subway. Too lazy to make your own goddamn sandwiches? OK: here’s a lifetime endorsement, love Subway.
Eat shit.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Kobe Bryant…such a douche
May 30th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Rachael Ray. She seems like a nice lady, and she’s hot enough, but her voice makes my skin crawl. Are we allowed to irrationally hate-fuck our draft picks?
May 30th, 2008 at 11:23 am
While there is certainly justification for hating David Wright (douchebag!), I’ll pick him because the extent of my hatred is probably a little irrational. I fucking hate that asshat. YOU ARE NOT A GOLD GLOVE THIRD BASEMAN! bYou and Lo Duca were
made for each other. Die.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Sarah Jessica Parker. Can I get an “Amen?”
May 30th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Tawwwmy Brady.
Nuff said
May 30th, 2008 at 11:24 am
the fat bitch from Barefoot Cuntessa on Food network. my wife watches it.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Fergie. I can’t stand this pig whore. She keeps popping out terrible catchy songs that are constantly played on the radio. She thinks she’s hot when in reality she looks like Corky from Life Goes On. Lets not forget she pissed herself herself on stage. I liked to set her face on fire and put it out with a pitchfork.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Raphael Nadal: Yes, I watch tennis sometimes (I’ll let you all decide how gay that makes me), and I want this man to tear his achilles tendon everytime he steps on the court. I don’t really think I have any justification for this feeling.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Can I have sloppy seconds on the Rachel Ray hate-fuck?
May 30th, 2008 at 11:25 am
charlie brown.
pathetic fucking loser.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Every single fantasy football expert.
You are all full of shit. (except you, Football Outsiders, I love you)
May 30th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Either Tim Buckley or Paris Hilton
…I think I’ll go with Paris
May 30th, 2008 at 11:26 am
Joe Lieberman, mostly because he sounds like he’s burping every time he talks. That’s the irrational part. The rational hatred comes from the fact that he’s a flip-flopping chicken-hawk.
There, I feel better.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:26 am
I don’t know if it’s irrational, per se, but the best I can do right now:
I hate those fucking Salvation Army bell ringers. I’d offer them money to stop ringing that goddam bell while I’m anywhere near or in the store, but they wouldn’t take it. Lots of other people seem to think they’re a jolly, merry harbinger of the holidays, but they just annoy the fuck outta me. More and more every time I hear them.
One day, I will probably be arrested for grabbing the bell away from one of them and flinging it into traffic.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:27 am
First I am with porky1 big time.
My pick that cumguzzler Tim Duncan. He has never fouled anybody. I hope the mutt enjoys his summer.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Oprah. Fuck her.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Everybody hates Rachael Ray. I’m pretty sure even she’s sick of herself.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Good Charlotte. Your a god damn pop band, ur not even the least bit badass, so easy with the tatoos and what not. And that god damn whiny voice is like nails scratching a chalk board
May 30th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Stop saying mutherfucking EVOO!!! Saying “olive oil” takes less time, Rachel!
May 30th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Dane cook…and i know everyone that’s smart hates him too, but apparently, there are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more dumb people in this country and that’s how this dumb dick has a career.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Nickelback – die in a fiery bus crash you poseurs.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:30 am
The fat kid from Superbad. God I want to punch him.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:31 am
Everyone who is on Chuck Norris’s balls
Fuck ‘em.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:32 am
Wow a lot of Rachel ray hatahs here. Neat.
Kevin Garnett.
Stop popping your jersey and screaming KG. You still ain’t never won shit.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:32 am
Brett Favre. No explanation necessary.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Chris Fowler: Never heard anyone criticize, but he seems like a fucking smug douchebag to me.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:33 am
FUCK, DC I totally forgot about Dane Cook. SJP must have blinded me with pick #1.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:33 am
American Broadcating Company
8 months til the next episode of LOST. FUCK YOU.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Tom Colicchio from Top Chef. IT’S JUST FOOD!!!
May 30th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Not sure if Bill Belicheck is preclued from selection because of the opening Pats salvos. If not, I’ll take double B for the win. I only hate him because… I really have no idea why.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Willem DaFoe. Seems like a good enough actor, just bugs the shit out of me for some reason.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:34 am
The New Radicals. Fuck you and fuck your collection of bucket hats.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:34 am
@Unitard: that was Madeline Khan from Clue…
Bobby Flay. I’m sure he’s a great guy, but WTF? That fucker’s everywhere on the Food Network. They push one star to the limit and then you’re hated by the world, and they dump you…
May 30th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Donald Trump. Don’t want him dead, but probably would risk the jail time to kick him square in the nuts. Lousy businessman with a great PR machine, hair that just defies logic and physics, and won’t fucking stop breeding. It’s just disgusting at this point.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:35 am
JK Rowling.
I could’ve done that shit.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Kevin Costner. The Willem DaFoe (who I’m cool with) pick reminded me how much I hate Costner
May 30th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Shia Lebouf…could someone seem like they’d be less likeable in person than this kid?
May 30th, 2008 at 11:35 am
@ rusrus – I agree about Flay, except I’m sure he’s an asshole.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:36 am
Do I have to wait a full 50 turns to knock out the entire cast of “the view”? Yes? Okay, then it is my duty to waste my day doing so.
First: Elizabeth Hasselbeth, the brainwashed, kinda-sexy-if-she-wasnt-crazy-and-fucking-annoying, with of a backup quarterback.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:36 am
I can’t believe I’m the first to list Oprah.
Her associate (lackey?) Dr. Phil is next.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Larry the Cable Guy.
Not only painfully unfunny in a Branson Missouri All-Star Revue kind of way, but he’s not even a genuine redneck. He grew up in a middle-class suburb in Nebraska and went to private school. His whole schtick is a white trash version of blackface minstrelsy.
You and Carlos Mencia need to have a murder-suicide pact. Git-R-Done, assclowns.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Bridgette Moynihan
You’re cute, but did you really need to provide Brady with a fertile womb?
No. No you did not.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Or:
Oprah is off the board
May 30th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Kanye West
Pompous, and for no good reason.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Tyler Perry.
Not only do I have to deal with your newest race-diminishing portrayal of Madea or cookie-cutter shit ripoff of Waiting to Exhale polluting the poster frames at the local theater EVERY SIX MONTHS I have to watch the puke-awful promos for House of Payne during every TNT playoff game.
Not. Fucking. Funny.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:38 am
as a kid my top irrational hatred was of Sundays.
In theory, its a weekend day, and since my folks were not religious, there was nothing scheduled, a free day to do whatever i wanted. Sounds like heaven. But school was right around the corner, spitefully making me hate a perfectly good day. All i wanted to do was play with transformers, or later video games or my friends, but no. all the fun was tempered with unease as the awfulness of Monday loomed over me mocking my Lego castles, saved princesses, or time spent hanging out in the woods (if we were really lucky with our hands on beer or boobs or both).
fuck Sundays as a kid. way to ruin half the weekend you stupid… day of the week.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:38 am
the entire cast of Friends. how the fuck did that show last so long while Arrested Development last 3 seasons?
May 30th, 2008 at 11:38 am
Anyone who drives the actual speed limit (or inexplicably under it): I’ve got places to be people, and you’re adding minutes to my trip. I guess this isn’t that irrational on its face, but my murderous thoughts certainly are.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:38 am
Dave Matthews. Please die quickly and take your fans with you.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:38 am
The dude with the big mouth from the “carhop” commercials.
Anyone? Is this thing on? Tap tap tap
May 30th, 2008 at 11:38 am
all four of the Sex in the City bitches. Get ‘em out. Each and every annoying one of ‘em.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:39 am
Gotta go with Jerry Seinfeld. Everybody loved Seinfeld, but whenever I watched any part of an episode I want to strangle the whole lot of those worthless fucks.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:40 am
From your mouth to god’s ears, dougery.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:40 am
+1 to Unitard’s Clue reference.
Seth McFarlane. I don’t actively hate anything he’s done, but fuck him anyway.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:40 am
That little shithead kid on the one commercial that comes into his parent’s bedroom and lectures them about investment strategies. I LOATHE YOU.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:40 am
@dougery
I experienced that same feeling of Sunday dread.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:41 am
Howard Stern, used to be good but he’s a douche now
May 30th, 2008 at 11:41 am
Journey. Fuck fucking Journey. I hate them. Fuck Journey.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:42 am
Bill O’Reilly. I have never witnessed a man more in love with himself.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:42 am
@dougery
You think your Sundays were bad? Just imagine if your parents were religious.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:42 am
Dave Chappelle.
Your absence leaves the door open for the redneck comedians and Mencia. Come back and all is forgiven.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:42 am
People who walk their cats on a leash. You know who you are.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:43 am
@Naptown
any hatred of BOR is exceedingly rational, so I’m not sure if it qualifies for this draft
May 30th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Van Morrison.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Irrational hatred to a “T”….
Michael Jordan. Fuck em’.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:43 am
@camcam
The wizard cat gets what the wizard cat wants.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:44 am
The inventor of th baby bjorn.
You’ve turned millions of infants into yuppie scumbag accessories.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Keith Olberman. He was cool on Sports Center, now he is just a douchebag that calls everyone that disagrees with him the worst person in the world. fuck off.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:46 am
will ferrell – used to like him back in the 90’s on his early days of snl. now I wish he would die.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Along the lines of TDub’s pick, parents who dress their babies in political t-shirts. Congrats, fuckface, you just turned your baby into a protest sign.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Lil Lebowski…that is the very definition of irrational hatred. Love so much that you hate. Hater of the year.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:47 am
Ray Romano. Everybody might have loved Raymond, but I sure as fuck didn’t.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:47 am
@TDUB, amen. my next pick was going to be people that only dress their infants in name brand clothes that they will outgrow in a month. Note to parents, 9 month olds do not care if there cloths come The Gap or Wal-Mart.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:48 am
Warren Buffet- for calling himself “The Oracle of Omaha.” What a stupid fucking nickname.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:48 am
@TDub
Fair enough.
50 Cent. G-G-G-G-G-G-G-Grow up and make some meaningful music rather than try to convince us that you “Still Kill.” Your bodyguards are laughing at you.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:50 am
UU,
but if the child doesn’t learn how to dress to succed now, when will she?
May 30th, 2008 at 11:50 am
Brett Ratner.
Fuck that guy. Anyone of us on this board could just tell the cast and crew “let’s just do what it says in the script and go home.”
May 30th, 2008 at 11:50 am
I was going to go with Jim Kramer, but he was on AD which earns him grace points for life. So Suze Orman. STFU you fucking hag, I’m only checking on PBS to see if The Civil War or The War is on, I don’t need your shrill voice in my head for one second.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Sorry, didn’t wait my turn…just really wanted to get that one out….will forfeit one pick…
May 30th, 2008 at 11:51 am
good point TDub
May 30th, 2008 at 11:51 am
@naptown 50 making a comeback. Burned down his baby mama house this morning rather than let her live there. Well done and welcom back
May 30th, 2008 at 11:51 am
ANYONE who pronounces the word nuclear “nuke-you-lar”. its “nuke-lee-ar”. makes me want to rip my ears off when i hear it.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Jimmy Buffett.
Where I come from, sunburned beach bums who sing shitty songs about booze and cheeseburgers are properly known as “homeless people.”
May 30th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Sorry, Auksyte, George W. Bush has already been taken.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:54 am
now that’s funny
May 30th, 2008 at 11:54 am
This pick would have been perfect about 2 years ago. Katie Couric.
I got so sick of hearing about how great she is at interviewing. No, she sucks. Now that she’s mired in last place, I feel that my hatred is vindicated. It might even be rational at this point, but I’m sticking with it.
And porky1’s pick of Tyler Perry is brilliant!! An absolute steal.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Tony Parker. Easy.
TP and I have the same birthday; he is exactly one year older than me. Look at what he’s got – multiple rings, Eva Longoria – and look at me.
Personally, I think this is pretty rational hatred.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Adam Sandler. Stop talking like a fucking six year old.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:56 am
emo kids. stop fucking crying, you live in the suburbs.
great pick Otto, with Jimmy Buffet.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Alfonso Soriano. Just because you’re using a telephone pole for a bat doesn’t mean you need to swing at every pitch. And stop it with the fucking hop already. Also, Big Brown called. He wants his teeth back.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:56 am
The Eagles.
@Mr. Snrub: I really doubt he gave himself that nickname. Seems like the most down-to-earth billionaire we’ll ever see in our lifetime.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Christiano Ronaldo.
I just flopped and threw my laptop four feet in the air.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:57 am
slothrop. Fantastic pick on Suze Orman. I absolutely loathe her, and she was next on my board
May 30th, 2008 at 11:57 am
Eddie Vedder
May 30th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Flavor Flav…I guarantee Martin Luther King would hate Flavor Flav.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:58 am
not clear on if i have to choose a person, or can i just hate anything??
so, 2 options –
mayonnaise. just the sight of it makes me wanna set fires.
or…
mariah carey. bitch is not cute. achieved penultimate hatred watching her throw out that ‘pitch’. and listen, celebrities. if you know your ass is going to be nationally televised throwing a ball to a guy, does you think that it behooves you to try it at home once or twice so’s you don’t look like a total fucktard?
but yeah, fuck mayo and mariah.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:58 am
i know GB is taken, but i take everyone else off the board who pronounces it that way. i will now add people who pronounce the “t” in “often”. its effing silent people.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Anyone who fucking stands on an escalator. IT’S NOT A FUCKING AMUSEMENT RIDE. GET ON AND KEEP MOVING!
May 30th, 2008 at 11:59 am
@ Lebowski. I’m sure he didn’t, and he does seem fairly down to Earth in interviews, but this is irrational hatred, not “perfectly acceptable reasons for hating” and I still think it’s a dumb name.
If he had any balls he’d order death squads to eliminate anyone who called him that, but he doesn’t so he must like it.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:59 am
I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this in other drafts/hatefests, but I fucking hate people who back into parking spaces. Nobody ever has to leave a place so fast that they can’t take the time to back up. They take twice as long to back into a parking space (and still can’t manage to take up less than 1 1/2 spaces) as they would just pulling in the regular way and then backing out when they leave. Backing into a parking space has replaced the popped collar on the polo shirt as the premier signal of the Assholius Americanus species. Every time I see a vehicle that’s been backed into a space, I feel nothing but contempt for the (usually) unseen driver.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Pedro Martinez.
I’m pretty sure everyone likes him (even most Red Sawks and Yankee fans), but I loathe the man. He’s just a jerkass who doesn’t give a fuck about his team, he only cares about himself. When the Mets signed him to a FOUR YEAR DEAL, I screamed in agony. I just knew he was going to spend almost the entire time on the DL from random bullshit injuries while cashing the checks from his house in Panama.
Fuck him in the earhole.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Jimmy Fallon – especially since he’s going to take-over for Conan who’s taking-over for Leno.
Fuckyou – you’ve been auditioning for the job since you used to throw pencils at the camera during Weekend Update on SNL – shitty Letterman ripoff!
May 30th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Bon Jovi. The whole fucking band, but especially those John and Richie douchebags. How does that band have any credibility? Uninspired, mediocre bullshit. Yet, lots of people love them, I mean, LUUUVVVV them. Argh.
Do I have to wait 50 turns to add their entire fanbase to the list, or can I include them all in one big Fuck You?
May 30th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
gaht-dammit manny, Mariah was mine. I know african-american men everywhere hate me when I say this but she looks atrocious
May 30th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Lost. Fuck that show.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Mark Cuban. Try being more like Warren Buffett.
@ Mr Snrub. good call
@ Mr. Buffett, I will join the impending death squad for $2000/hit. Cash please.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
@Slash: Preach it brother. I have to restrain myself from keying cars backed in.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Jay fucking Leno.
He’s not funny, he’s never been funny, and the fact that his show consistently beat Letterman’s shows what morons most people are.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
pink floyd. Bunch of my friends say i would like them if i just gave them a listen, but absolutely refuse. I’m sure I’ve heard some of their songs on the radio or at parties, etc, but I wouldn’t be able to distinguish them from any of the other songs by bands I don’t know.
hows that for irrational? I hate something and I don’t even properly know what it is.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
ooh-ooh-ooh… Tom Cruise. No explanation needed.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Hillary Clinton.
I agree with most of her policies, even more than Obama, and she seems like she could do a good job. I just can’t get over the fact that I hate her for no reason at all…
May 30th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Wanda Sykes.
stupid.
annoying.
unfunny.
cunt.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
now he is just a douchebag that calls everyone that disagrees with him the worst person in the world
So he’s the mainstream media version of Drew and Ufford?
My next pick is Senator Susan Collins. I fucking hate her and her “bipartisan friendship” with Joe Lieberman, and her stupid voice that takes for fucking ever to complete a sentence. Eat shit and die.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Tom Colicchio is a talentless judgemental prick who makes me want to… I dunno, march in a Gay Pride Parade, maybe?
/seriously, fuck you, Tom Coliccio
May 30th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
American Idol. It’s more than a thing, it’s a hate.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
@ TDub
i did my research. of three black dudes polled outside my house this morning, 66% agree while the remaining 33% would fuck her anyway. but that guy was the neighborhood rapist and a former baltimore ravens special teamer.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Kids aged 7 and up.
You’re not cute anymore.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
@Slash
The “back in” is bad, but I hate the “pull through”. You’re about to pull into a spot and someone takes it from the OTHER SIDE as they pull all the way through so their car is facing outwards. God I can’t stand that.
And while I don’t hate Tina Fey, I just don’t see what’s so funny about her. She’s just a zero.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
I am with Mr. C and Slash, but there is nothing irrational about your respective hatreds. they both are perfectly justified, as would be any murders that result therefrom.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
soulja boy – go away. do not come back.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
High five, dougery.
I respect 3-4 of their songs but people who put them up there with the Beatles and Zeppelin are out of their fucking minds.
And with that, my next pick: Ringo Starr.
Ringo actually had the balls to imply that since the Beatles may have been the greatest band of all time, and he was the drummer for that band, then he was the greatest rock and roll drummer of all time.
And he WILL be the last surviving Beatle, put money on it.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
@Slash: some people may have pulled through you know.
Fuck you people who speed and are always in a rush. I’m the guy who drives 55 in the left lane just to piss you off.
Julie Roberts.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
@ smurphette,
and I picked Lieberman, so I think we’ve formed some sort of ineffective alliance against their bipartisanship, or something.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
FIGJAM. David Feherty can’t mock him enough in that Crowne Plaza ad.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Chris Berman. The man has never had an original thought in his broadcast career and is a fucking caricature.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
girls with big sunglasses…no one finds it cute that you’re covering up 60% of your face…i’ve made it a policy to automatically assume that there’s something wrong with your face or you have a lazy eye that you don’t want anyone to see. Even worse is the cute girl who wears the big sunglasses…why waste what god gave you?
May 30th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Hunter S. Thompson: Sure he’s dead, but he lives on through his works. And I fucking hate, hate, hate his works. I hate everything about his style.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Brett Favre is taken, so i’m going to go to my next NFL pick — Steve Smith (from carolina). initially, it started off as purely from a fantasy football stand point, but when i was forced to defend my stance regularly to some friends, it evolved into full-on hate for the man along with the fantasy football numbers.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Edit: That’s Julia Roberts.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
judd apatow – fuck you and your shitty-ass movies
May 30th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Man i get in late and still get my number one pick:
Michael Mann. Fucker.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Bill Maher. Preachy smug asshole who thinks he’s better than the rest of us. News flash douchebag, you’re not. C’mere and lemme show you my Louisville Slugger
May 30th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
@TDub: Wordsies. I hate him, too, but my (or any Dem on the Hill’s) loathing for him is pretty justified.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Larry Bird. Great career in Bahston; but ummm thanks for fucking the Pacers up beyond repair. I routinely turn down free tickets to the games now. And your face looks like a PSA warning about inbreeding.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Hipsters. Originating from Brooklyn, they came like a swarm up north in their skinny jeans, wolf t-shirts and 80s-era Ray Bans and turned my college campus into a wasteland of ironic detachment. FUCK YOU for making me wade through a wall of cigarette smoke every night just to get to the library. FUCK YOU for scheduling TV on the Radio as a concert. FUCK YOU for not participating in any class I ever had with you and just sneered at everyone who actually gave a shit. I want to take your fucking neck bandana and ram it down your throat.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
@ Manny,
those special teamers… they’ll screw anything!
May 30th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Just a thought: I’m noticing that a lot of these hate picks are completely rational.
It should be someone that’s pretty universally liked; there are plenty of people who hate Rachael Ray, Jimmy Fallon, Adam Sandler, etc.
And wasn’t the idea of the draft to pick individual people, and not “pet peeves”
(the back-in parker, the cat leash owner) or things (Sunday)?
May 30th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Fast food workers & managers.
When I ask for ketchup, I expect more than 3 packets you cheap ass punks.
I’m done irrationally hating….
Blood drive volunteers
Fantasy football experts
American Broadcasting Company
Bridgette Moynihan
Dave Chappelle
The Eagles
Mark Cuban
Fast Food workers
May 30th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
fucking ray lewis
May 30th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
I kinda hate dudes who, when getting off an elevator and see that I’m getting on same elevator, stand there and “hold” the doors open. I guess they think they’re being polite, but a lot of them seem to expect me to express thanks for doing what amounts to standing. The elevator doors aren’t going to immediately snap closed when you step off the elevator. Just fucking get out of the way and I’ll take it from there, thanks. Just for the record, I don’t have a problem with people (men) holding a door open for me, if said door could possibly swing closed and hit me in the face or crush an appendage, thanks for doing me a solid, but the elevator door thing, totally not necessary.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Here’s irrational:
Bugs Bunny.
I always wanted Yosemite Sam or Elmer to just splatter his brains.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
@Juice Springsteen
Amen. That was my next pick.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Jennifer Aniston
May 30th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Plenty of people may hate Adam Sandler, but not nearly enough.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
I just realized I picked Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan. Hmmm.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Here’s irrational:
Bugs Bunny.
I always wanted Yosemite Sam or Elmer to just splatter his brains.
So says someone named Porky.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Naptown Drew: Value Pick. especially good if you had made a deal to pick him today, but not actually hate him for a year.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Even though it is not so much as irrational than justified, I am taking the steal of the draft this late into it:
Dick Cheney.
1) He once tried to convince the American public he is NOT part of the Executive Branch, being President of the Senate
2) His Halliburton stock has gone up 3000% in the last year
3) He, along with Rumsfeld and the Pentagon, convinced George Bush to invade Iraq, while Colin Powell and the CIA were screaming for continuing in Afghanistan and into the Pakistan border
4) Did I mention his Halliburton stock has gone up 3000% in the last year, helping this cabinet to become the first ever Billion Dollar Cabinet only AFTER becoming elected?
Despite getting his own monument and dedicated east wing in Hell, I still somehow have an irrational hatred too great for this man.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
cheese. with the caveat that it is not warm or melted onto something (a la pizza or grilled cheese). cheese is just clammy and cold and it is milk that has gone bad and don’t even like milk that is still good. Oh, so it is goat’s cheese and that will make it better? fuck you.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
@ Juice: Hipsters didn’t originate in Brooklyn. They may have a large presence there, but that’s because hipsters, like ancient Hebrews, are a pastoral nomadic people. They roam the country raising their smug douchery (instead of sheep) in certain locations before eventually leaving for a more fertile ground. No one knows where they originate, but they’ll likely be heading to Boise, according to their migratory patterns.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
The whole blood giving industry. From the jerkoff nurse who stabs the needle’s with extreme force, to the jerk off who wears the “I just gave blood!” sticker with his arm wrapped in pink prewrap for 2 weeks.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
pseudo-intellectual College Freshmen.
Just because you read a little bit of Descartes this semester does not make you any smarter than you were last year when you shelled out 200 bucks for a Jostens class ring.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
To all the incarnations of SuperMike. Fuck you.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
People who order cosmos. appletinis and the such. Ties up the god damn bartender when all I want is a beer.
And related, bartenders who have no fucking clue how to pour a Guiness. If I want that much head, I will go to Hunts Point.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Hard to parse out the rational hatred from the irrational hatred, but, I am going to give it a stab:
David Cross
His stuff is really funny. He seems like a likable guy in that “nerd friend who can get on your nerve a bit” kind of way. In fact, he was even on Arrested Development, but, for some reason, I LOATHE this guy. Don’t know why, but, when I hear his voice, I cringe.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Ugg boots. Is Ugg short for fucking ugly, because that is what those are. 10 years from now chicks that wear those are going to look back and wonder what the hell they were doing.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Chipper Jones
Fuck you for naming your kid Shea.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
@crazy joe davola
Spot On.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Every pro player who in the middle of their contract wants more money and says they won’t play/report/show up until they get it – you know what, fuck all of you in the ass with a giant red wood tree. In the real world, the boss would tell you ok, don’t bother coming back. Greedy pricks.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Wyclef. Just seems like an asshole.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
@RexyBack: I know of no one who likes Cheney. Justified? Yes. Judges ruling?
May 30th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
@John S. Great pick, I think that counts as irrational.
Next pick is Jon Stewart. I enjoy The Daily Show, but Stewart’s just been rubbing me the wrong way for awhile now.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
RE Jeff K Says:
The “back in” is bad, but I hate the “pull through”. You’re about to pull into a spot and someone takes it from the OTHER SIDE as they pull all the way through so their car is facing outwards. God I can’t stand that.
I actually don’t mind the pull through, I do it myself sometimes. And you can tell the difference between someone who’s pulled forward and someone who’s backed in. The backed in vehicles are almost always crooked.
RE Voice of Unreason: I specified “people who do these things.” The guideline didn’t say the hatred had to be of famous people. I just can’t think of any beloved celebrities that I hate or celebrities that haven’t already been established as worthy of robust hatred (Trump, O’Reilly, Bush, Rachael Ray, Mariah Carey, Hilton, etc.). I dislike most of those people too, but they were taken.
I know we’ve done a peeve draft. If I can come up with a famous person I really genuinely hate that isn’t universally despised, I’ll put it up.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
I fucking hate Scarlett Johansson. Staring vacantly at the camera with your mouth open is not goddamn acting, you vapid dipshit. Oh, and you ain’t fooling me. I know you’re not a natural blonde. She’s very pretty, but I simply CANNOT fathom how this dumb piece of shit somehow weaseled her way into “serious actress” status.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Bill Paxton. How an actor his worthless has been in so many big hits and now his own HBO series just makes me wonder, who do you have to blow to get gigs like he’s gotten, in Hollywood. Answer: Ask Bill Paxton.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Ugg boots have to be the ugliest things ever, don’t look good on anyone, and should be banned.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
@ Voice of Unreason.
am completely with you on the most of these picks being perfectly rational. But I just shrug and say give the people what they want, a thread to express their hatred for sometimes obvious things.
Regarding your other point, when the post mentioned the entire city of Indianapolis I first read that as the physical entity, its people and architecture and everything, so I figured Sundays and Cheese were fair game. I have since re-read the original post at definitely does seem more geared toward individual people or groups of similar persons. So I may be in the wrong…
May 30th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Sports: The show “PTI”. Most. Overrated. Shit. Ever.
Non-sports: Please, please, PLEASE stop forcing Sarah Silverman on me and telling me she’s funny.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
@ Rexy and Rocco,
I’m gonna say it doesn’t count… if you can make a cogent argument for why he’s so hateful (and you can), I’m not sure it fits in this draft. Same reason as Bill O’ Reilley
May 30th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
gregg popovich – eat dick, robot
May 30th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Sure to popular with CC, but here goes: Scarlett Johansson. Go away and stop fucking up Waits’ music.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Can we draft soon-to-be ex-wives? Or is that too rational?
May 30th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Wow, no one took Coldplay? I can’t believe people actually like this shit they call music
May 30th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Men who wear crocs.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
@futuremrs, I think Ufford (Captain Caveman) may have just crossed you off his Christmas card list.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I know everybody hates Derek Jeter, so it might not qualify, but since I am a diehard Yankee fan, my hatred of Jeter should certainly qualify. I hate his perfect reputation and automatic first-ballot HOF assumption, meanwhile he’s nothing but a glorified singles hitter. All he does is bang tons of chicks and skip out on his taxes, yet he’s a hero to millions of kids. He’s got nothing remotely half-interesting to say to anyone on any subject. Everybody talks about moving him off SS, but he doesn’t have the bat to play anywhere but 2B, and Cano is already better than him, early season slump notwithstanding. His stupid overexaggerated ass bend at every slightly inside pitch. Oh yeah and FUCK “are you suuuuure you’re not a shortstop” and “Jeter? Oh he’s DEFINITELY got an Edge.” But what I hate most about him? That I have to root for him.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
The Allman Brothers Band.
Now, I do like the Allman Bros. What I can’t stand is how they take four minutes to finish every song they play. End it already! How stoned do you think I actually am?
May 30th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
@ futuremrs: Good one, she’s become incredibly overrated since Lost In Translation. Go back and watch Ghost World, Thora Birch completely owns that movie in every way, yet she can’t seemingly get work anymore while Scarlett becomes the symbol of a generation of dumb cokehead hipster bitches. I don’t understand it © L.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
LeBron James. Even though he’s one of the top 3 players in the NBA, he’s squandering his talent. The guy can not be guarded in the paint. He has good post moves, but is way too content to fire up guarded threes. Sure he’s young, but he’s wasting his career. Plus, his sycophantic attachment to Jay Z is disturbing for a guy trying to become the next great one. Sure, MJ had Nike, but the difference is that MJ made Nike a corporate powerhouse instead of just being Phil Knight’s lackey.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Or really deserving targets like Patriots fans, Patriots players and Patriot Pat.
I feed off your hate.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
@futuremrsrickankiel–shit. f5, fucker.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Dovetailing with Johndewar’s point… I’m going with the irrational hatred of this new “forced argument” phenomneon on television shows. Stop screaming. Stop always somehow landing on opposite sides of a topic. These assholes could find a way to argue about whether World War II worked out for Germany.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
if i ever saw hilary swank i would probably stab her while like in a momentary blacked out stupor and them come to, covered in blood and handcuffed being dragged somewhere and say “wait – what happened? where am i?”
May 30th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
The Road Runner. As a child it would ruin my day that the fucking coyote couldn’t catch that piece of shit.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Jason Whitlock.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
@futuremrs
I was just about to draft her. For the record, I don’t really think she’s that pretty. She kinda looks like a rat, but with big boobs. Also, she gave up her life of whoring to marry Van Wilder (almost a certain douche), and she obliterated Tom Waits songs.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Shaq.you are not funny you fat fuck. Make a goddamn freethrow!
May 30th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Florida. The whole state.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Can I draft the entire cast of “Friends”? And by “draft” I mean “kill via poisoning with polonium-210, which is what the KGB uses to kill dissenters and is reputedly extremely slow-acting and agonizingly painful”?
May 30th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
celebrities that threaten to move to Europe or Canada if their presidential candidate loses. Please leave.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Still trying to come up with a well-known person to hate, but in the meantime, I fucking hate people who say “We just” when they pray. I am not often in the company of religious people (by choice), but sometimes they can’t be avoided, such as at family holidays/gatherings. I dislike the praying thing before a meal anyway, but it’s usually brief, so whatever. But then the asshat doing the praying throws in “We just” every 5 words: “Father, we just thank you for this food and this day, and we just pray for the health and safety of everyone here today and we just…” I cannot figure out why they do this. It doesn’t even make any goddamn sense.
My mother does this. And every time she says “we just,” I inwardly cringe and long to tell her to shut the fuck up if she can’t talk normally. Lots of people do this, they must learn it at some fucking Jesus freak seminar. I hate every one of them.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Madonna. You can’t sing, your acting sucks, and you suddenly have a British accent? Go adopt AIDS.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
@ Fulk: I completely agree as a Yankees fan. Ever notice how last playoffs everyone harped about A-Rod’s classically shitty performance, and yet Jeter actually had a worse line and got a free pass? He hit into three double plays against the Indians and everyone still slobbered his knob.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
sorry futuremrs, I drafted them with my 2nd pick at 11:38am
May 30th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
David Chase. Not for the ending (which I liked,) but for the whole show really not being that good to begin with. And because he seems like a douche, but without enough credibility to be one (like David Simon.)
May 30th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
A subset of UU’s last one, let me pick Jane Fonda.
No one on your side of the political divide gives a shit what you think, and your asshattery only pisses off the other side. You’re not helping.
Sit down and shut up, or we’re going to force you to return to that weed-whacker haircut you had in “Klute.”
May 30th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Slash,
maybe “we just” is the “um” of praying. But thank you for making me notice that now… Thanksgiving is gonna suck now.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
That stupid Domino’s Pizza Noid. When I was younger I wanted to kill that thing. They even made a video game after this stupid character, worst game ever!
May 30th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Anybody that doesn’t pull out into the intersection when they’re making a fucking left. Pull out bitch, that way I can put 1 inch of my car past the stop bar, and be totally justified when I turn on red.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Ohh denvergodfather that was a NICE pull. That smug stupid bird. I hate him too!
May 30th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Michael Jackson.
Great artist and all; there’s just something a little unsettling about his fascination with children. I mean, I’m probably being paranoid, but I don’t think I’d want my kid staying at that ranch. Sorry if that sounds racist.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Denvergodfather: I always felt the same way about Jerry from “Tom and Jerry” as a kid.
You’re a diseased rodent stealing food from this family and tormenting their pet, and I’m supposed to root for you? WTF?
May 30th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Damn, it’s late and I can still get my first choice: Ellen Page. This is pure, full-blown irrational hatred. Juno grates on my soul. “Look at how indie I am! And quirky!” I spent the entire movie mocking her and hoping for more bad things to happen to her. This nearly ruined a friendship, because one of my female friends who was watching with me loves the movie and Page. Goddammit, I’m getting worked up just thinking about it. Want to punch that bitch in the face.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Kevin Faulk, RB, NE.
You don’t bang supermodels. You don’t target married MILFs. You don’t appear in unfunny Visa commericals. You are nonwhite therefore not a fan favorite of the NE faithful. You don’t mention the construda. By all accounts, you should be the most likable Patriot around. But because you reliably murder my team two sundays a year with inexplicable first downs, I hope your bone marrow turns into steamed okra.
Besides, isn’t he the only patriot left who we haven’t hated on here?
May 30th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Kark Malone
I know I should probably show him some semblance of respect for being the only black man in Utah for over a decade, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
“I loove black people, but I haaate ______s.”
/Chris Rocked
May 30th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Karl*
May 30th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Organized religion.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
@Springsteen: 3 for 17 with no walks nor extra base hits, my friend. But of course, the best was the great A-Rod choke of 2004, when Derek tried to carry the team on his back with his 200/333/233 line. If not for A-Rod’s 894 OPS that series, they surely would have won the title. Oh, and while looking that up I saw Jeter’s middle name is Sanderson. That’s it, final strike. I am now openly rooting against him.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Aerosmith
May 30th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Sorry, UU! Can we keep the plutonium-210 poisoning, though?
Um. I don’t want to look like I’m just shooting down all the hot chicks. But I hate Erin Andrews. Bitch openly admitted she didn’t know her shit when she got her first reporting gig. Goddamn it, there are plenty of chicks out there (AHEM) who DO know their shit and would fucking kill for your job. You do us all a disservice by publicly airing your ignorance. Oh, and if you weren’t on TV no one would notice you because you look like a soccer mom/diner waitress/chick who was hot in high school but then married too young and now has no life. I don’t want her to, like, DIE, but I don’t want her to have a fucking job anymore ever.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
I don’t think this is irrational, and probably lots of people would agree, but I do hate Willard Scott. What the fuck is he still on TV for? To wish happy birthday to really old people and… that’s it? Goddamn, he’s creepy. If he were one day arrested for some loathsome sex offense, it wouldn’t even surprise me.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
People who pop their collars aka douchebags…I know this is an easy one, but fuck them.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Alf. Absolutely no rational explanation, but he annoyed the shit out of me.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
I second the Willard Scott pick. He’s always given off a John Wayne Gacy vibe.
To steal a line Bill Hicks used against Jesse Helms, when he dies his wife will tell the press, “you know, I always wondered about Willard’s collection of little shoes…”
May 30th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Jessica Alba. Even more than Scarlett.
At least Scarlett occasionally picks good projects. Alba’s got the double whammy of Can’t Act/Shit Flix. Seeing her glaze-eye her way through the Fantastic Four movie looking like the “blonde” Latinas I see at the swap meet was infuriating…
…hey wait, can I change my pick to the douche from Nip/Tuck who made Dr. Doom look like a metrosexual cocknobbler?
May 30th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
227 comments and nobody’s made my pick yet? YES!
Paul Fucking McCartney. I hate that douchebag and his terrible eye job, ridiculous dyed hair, cunty ex wives, and whiny vegan daughter. It doesn’t help that all his Beatles songs suck, too.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
I’ll take Mel Kiper, Jr. and his never out-of-place hair and shove him up Chris Mortensen’s ass. I just hit a real value pick–the cocky douchebag exacta.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Zach Braff. And I like Scrubs and enjoyed Garden State, but fuck this dude. He annoys me to no end.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
@futuremrs, the Po-210 stays or any other similar alpha emitting radioisotope will suffice. radiation poisoning is a bitch.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Clare: I vacillated between Ringo and Paul, especially since Paul upped his “douche factor” when he switched songwriting credits on his live album to “McCartney/Lennon.”
I went with Ringo because Paul DID write “Blackbird.” Can’t fault him for that.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Tweety Bird
Not for the stupid shit he did to the cat but for those awful t-shirts ugly fat chicks like to wear that say things like “Don’t go there, girlfriend!” or some other inane phrase
May 30th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
If allowed, I will go with all of the no talent, golddigging, attention whores like Lohan, Hilton (already chosen), etc.
Where do they come off that they are so great…….you are drunk, coke-heads. Get over it!
And I will included all of their fans who’s lives would end without them!
May 30th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Slash,
I think that Willard Scott is a necrophile, hence the birthdays and the creepiness.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
drew barrymore. absolutely awful.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
While we’re at it-Mr. Oreo Doublestuff himself, Wayne Brady. Could also add Bryant and Greg Gumbel to that description and let them fuck Brent Mussberger up the ass.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
THANK YOU CHEECH, Drew Barrymore has never been hot, NEVER! She looks like she tried to run a 40 yard dash in a 30 yard gym.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
@ Otto man – You are right on about the litte rat. I also rooted for Tom to eat him for lunch. Freaking Tweety bird too. I think I watch too many cartoons as a kid.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
i would’ve taken joe buck, but apparently there’s nothing irrational about wishing the guy chokes on it on live tv. instead i’ll go with nic cage – i fear the day he and tom cruise appear in a movie together. and if they already have, don’t tell me. their lives may depend on it.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Jennifer Garner
May 30th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Terri McCullough..i just want whack him upside the head every time he says..we can still win…
May 30th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Tucker Carlson.
Fuck your bowtie.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
F Mrs. Jennifer Garner too!
May 30th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Kevin Smith. I’m begging you, just stop making movies.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Matthew Broderick, he just seems like a little pussy not to mention he chose to bang horse face Parker for the rest of his life.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Amy Poehler is easily the most annoying entertainer in the world.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
@Mr. Snrub, don’t go back and watch Ghost World at all because it’s a long, dumb, boring fucking movie that I hate almost enough to be on this list. My hatred of that movie is not irrational, though.
I can’t stand Uma Thurman. Just can’t fucking stand her for no goddamn good reason.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Seth Green. Or Jamie Kennedy. What’s the fucking difference???
Fuck it, they’re the same guy, both unfunny, annoying, and somehow successful. I declare that this counts as one pick.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Starbucks. Coffee sucks, and the people that go there who act sophisticated because they paid nine dollars for a fucking coffee can eat a dick
May 30th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Oh Uma Thurman is AWFUL! Good call, A Fastidious Hat.
I was going to take Tobey Maguire with my next pick, but instead I shall take everyone involved in any of the Spiderman movies and the nerds who got super nerd boners over the movies (after the first one… which was watchable, but not great). Spiderman is a pretty awful superhero, and Tobey was pretty much the worst person ever to have been picked to play him.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Al Gore – Mr Fucking Global Warming if there was global warming, your wife’s ass would thaw out in a heart beat – lying bastard – The next time it hits 20 below, I’ll think of you as I shovel my snow or the next time I have to sit and watch a baseball game wearing a winter coat, hat and gloves. Your bullshit ideas have been debunked to the Nth power – now go back to doing what you do best, acting like a F’n Cigar Store Indian.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
all political bumper stickers. I don’t fucking care if you think Bush sucks or that I shouldn’t blame you because you voted for Gore. Fuck off, go die. In fact, eliminate ALL bumper stickers. They make your car look like the equivalent of a neatly pressed white dress shirt with a massive coffee stain down the front.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
This was a wavering pick, but I have to go with “Baba O’Reilly” by the Who in a squeaker over “Sweet Home Alabama”. I remember in my senior year of high school, that song became the designated pick for the Ugg and miniskirt crowd to sing–just to prove that they weren’t ass-slaves to Top 40 radio. “Ohmigod! I love ‘Teenage Wasteland’! Bummmm……bum bummmmmmmmm!” Stupid bitches. It’s the weakest song on “Who’s Next”. Die.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
How about Britney Spears. What the fuck. Used to be hot now i wouldn’t hump her for money. She walks around in her cloud of crazy like she owns the world, I can’t wait for her to die in a car accident or a drug over dose. Can’t wait.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
@ Fastidious. Ehh, I liked it. Buscemi and Thora were both lights out and there were enough funny lines to get through some of the dumb shit.
Cameron Diaz. Hasn’t been in anything good since Something About Mary, hasn’t looked good since The Mask. Also, seems retarded.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Tim Hortons. The Starbucks of WNY and Canada. I hate coffee and I hate coffee drinkers. Especially coffee drinkers who want to give me tips on exercise and healthy eating. YOU DRINK 9 FUCKING CUPS OF COFFEE A DAY! Fuck you. I’m still in shape 8 years after college. And your fucking 30 car line in the morning fucks up the right lane on every street in town. Fuck you Tim Hortons.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Myself.
I mean, I am a great guy and everything.
But when I catch a glimpse of this dude in the mirror and I just want to fuck him up
May 30th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Can I pick Dan from Chicago? There’s no way anyone that stupid is real.
By your “logic,” night doesn’t exist because it’s sunny out right now.
And by “debunked to the Nth degree,” I assume you mean “99% of accredited scientists agree with Gore and two Exxon-funded quacks disagree.” Take off the tinfoil hat, buddy.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
K, I didn’t used to hate Kim Kardashian, but now I do, since she’s everywhere. And because her undeserved fame gave them an entrance onto the national stage, I hate her whole fucking family too, including Bruce Jenner. What a waste of oxygen all those people are. Jesus, is she really famous for having a giant ass? By that rationale, half the women in America should have a show on E.
I don’t hate her dead father. So he was OJ’s lawyer, big fucking deal. Someone had to do it.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
I hate Christmas Ape.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
I hate when Hines no smire.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Al Gore…don’t know why
May 30th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
@ Dan
Good pick I can’t believe I forgot to pick Al Gore
May 30th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I have to call a foul on Jaime Kennedy. I’ve never met anyone who likes him.
I can only assume his Hollywood career is due to the fact that he has pictures of studio heads blowing goats.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Phil Jackson.
The “Zen Master?” Hey Phil, fuck you and your stupid goatee.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m quite happy that the Lakers eliminated the fagtastic Spurs…mainly because I’m done having to watch Tony Parker flop around like an Italian Soccer Player every time someone breathes on him while Tim Duncan whines incessantly at the officials.
But, I’m sick of the verbal fellatio that all these guys give Phil Jackson: “he’s the greatest coach ever” etc. Tell you what, I could have coached those Bulls teams to championships and here’s what my huge inspirational speech would have been:
“Hey Michael, go win the game.”
Simple enough.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Quentin Tarantino.
OK the movies are entertaining, and every guy I know is OBSESSED… but seriously. How can you see the guy and hear him talk and not want to shove a redwood up his ass?
False, his ass can stay clear… but good god we need to do something to keep him from opening his goddamn self congratulating coked out mouth.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Barrack Obama
May 30th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Then Seth Green it is, Otto.
Robot Chicken is Not Fucking Funny.
And with my next pick, speaking of Not Fucking Funny, I cannot believe I get the steal of the draft…
Ashton Kutcher.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Romo……another Crowned Loser
May 30th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Kim Kardashian’s ass is nightmare fuel. Her Playboy pictorial was just wrong.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
The motherfucker that adds 15 different types of protein powders to his smoothie at Smoothie King.
You fucking loser, Turbinado isn’t going to get you an audition on “So you think you can dance?” Just order your strawberry orange smoothie and let me order.
Jesus tapdancing christ…
May 30th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
@ SMurftastic: Good pick, I forgot about Tarantino because most people I know can’t stand him anymore, although he still does have a ton of fans (see, anywhere on the internet that talks about movies.)
May 30th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
@Rocco, black coffee is a relatively healthy drink. I love black coffee, but I agree with you a little bit when it comes to people that order that flavored bullshit coffee that is like drinking a liquid candy bar.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
kutcher should have gone #1 if not for the fact that a lot of the hate is rational…dropped his draft value
May 30th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
@ Jackson – no. You may not. A generation ago, it was global cooling – did someone turn up the thermostat and make things warm? I don’t want to get into an intellectual debate as this is not the forum – unless it involved intellectual dick jokes – if there is such a thing. As for the foil hat, not my style, I’ll leave that up to the junk scientists.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
@ Jackson,
I kind of agree with you. I don’t get how something that has scientific backing is so politically polarizing BUT FOR the fact that Al Gore is the drum-banger on it. That’s why I excuse Dan a little bit. Al Gore is hateful because he only brings the issue up when there are no political reprecussions stemming from it, that’s a dickless move.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Brian Griese. Fuck off second stringer.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Lexington Steele. Anyone ever seen any of his movies? Guy is hung like a baby’s arm holding a softball but, holy shit, do we need the 2 straight minutes of groaning at 120 decibels?
Ya, we get it, you just tore that poor asian chick apart, but enough already.
Also, anyone else in Canada ever heard those radio ads where the guy goes “Hi, this is Matt from in-charge debt solutions and I can help you get out of debt.” If I ever meet Matt, he’s fuckin’ done son. What an annoying asshole.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Oh yeah;
and fucking Ice Cream Trucks…
destroying my sleep at 1 o’clock in the afternoon with ‘Music Box Dancer’ and ‘Turkey in the Raw’.
There’s even one where when the music stops, an Ethel Mermanesque voice goes ‘Helloo?’…
All for a $3 fucking soft-serve cone.
Fuck Brooklyn
May 30th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
And boobies and ass
May 30th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Keith Olberman has just named Dan from Chicago the “worst person in the world.”
May 30th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Ben Roethlisberger. Guy put my favorite team on his back all the way to the SB and managed to get out of the way enough for them to win it…but all reports I’ve heard from Average Joes in and around PGH say that he is a douche of epic proportions. I’m inclined to agree.
Oh, and if he embellishes another injury to make it look like he’s playing through a goddamn leg amputation I will finish the job that Chrysler LHS started. Cock eating fuck.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Jamie Foxx. Yeah, you need to go now.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
@ UU – Thanks – can’t wait to see what the trophy looks like.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
I make my SECOND steal pick before lunch…just call me Jerry west.
Justin Timberlake.
Nice little career Timbaland eked out for you, eh?
May 30th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
@ smurftastic
as a girl, i do have to own up to a tarantino obsession. however, the guy needs to keep his mug out of his own movies.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Angelina Jolie.
Guys think she’s hot because she looks like a stripper who would give you a beej for an extra $1. Just because you have 17,000 kids (twins born today too) and are a UN Ambassador doesn’t make me forget that you once wore a vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around your neck, you skank.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
William Shatner. Go fuck yourself. That guy is such a corporate whore it’s not even funny. I swear, he’d go on TV and do a commerical for maxi-pads if someone paid him. Someone tell him that he stopped being Captain Kirk decades ago and now he’s a fat useless fuck.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
There’s even one where when the music stops, an Ethel Mermanesque voice goes ‘Helloo?’…
Holy shit, there’s one of those that circles our park too. It’s so fucking annoying I actually went out and told the guy to turn off the music.
If Hell has a theme song, that’s it.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
I kinda hate Hugh Hefner. Not because he objectifies women or bangs women who could be his great-granddaughters (on the first, who doesn’t, and on the second, who wouldn’t if they could?), but because everybody kisses his ass and acts like he invented pictures of naked women. There have been pictures of naked women since there were naked women, he didn’t invent anything. He’s not a pioneer, just a high-end smut peddler.
Also, take off that fucking cap. You’re not Thurston Howell III. And the robe bothers me, too. Would it really kill you to put on a goddam t-shirt?
And last, you’re not hot and never were, even when you were young. The only reason you get 20-year-old ass now is because you’re rich.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
The 4 guys playing in a barn from the Viva Viagra commercial. Are they playing this song before they engage in a six hour long orgy in the barn… I just don’t get it.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
The entire cast of that horrible show “Saved by the Bell”. Especially that Dustin Diamond. Way to milk a crappy character for the rest of your pathetic life!
May 30th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Whoa I step out to look at some porn and come back and the whole damn thing is almost over with.
Well I am going to take David Blane – Fuck You and your guyliner.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Ken Burns – I’ve never seen one of his pretentious, boring, nancy-boy shows, and I never will. But I hate him just the same. I’d kick him in the crotch if I ever saw him and then give him a wedgie and a nougie.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
@ Billg:
BLASPHEMY! that show taught generation Y how to grow up, and how to love. It taught us how to be cool, man.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Just remembered how much I hate the fucking OxyClean guy. I hate him so much. I really kinda wish he would die. Why does he scream?
May 30th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
The University of Michigan Marching Band. I fucking hate “Hail to the Victors.”
May 30th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Bravo, Gut Out. The “Jazz” series was one of the biggest loads of musical horseshit I’ve ever seen. Including swing music and barely mentioning, say, Oscar Peterson? That’s like making a series about country and hyping Tim McGraw over Uncle Tupelo. I liked “Baseball,” but he should have quit after that.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
I’ll agree that Al Gore is a horrible face — a fat, horrible face — for the global warming issue, but if you somehow think it’s a hoax perpetrated by “quack scientists,” then yes, you are in fact an unbelievable idiot and you deserve to be mocked as much as someone who believes in alchemy or leeching or Matt Millen.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
How the hell are Double J and Marmalard still on the board–those smug, self-righteous, cocky motherfuckers.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
anybody that went to LSU
May 30th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Whoa I step out to look at some porn
You have a special room for that? Well, lah-dee-dah, Mr. Too Good to Use the Public Library.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Chriss Angel. I don’t know if anyone likes him but he can get off TV.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
@Otto Man
Your face would be terrible as well if you had to fuck Tipper. Not that Al isn’t a fuckwad anyway well before he got on his high horse.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
this one might hurt a few of you, but irrational is irrational: Reggae. Hate hate HATE it for no real reason. Everyone loves it, and it all sounds the same to me. Sometimes I think people listen to it because they feel they HAVE to in order to be thought of as peaceful and just. Every Bob Marley record could disappear and I’d have no problem with it.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Ok. Definitely going to hell for this pick.
Lance Armstrong.
Yes, I’m glad you beat cancer. And yes, I once even owned a livestrong bracelet. But holy overexposure Batman! Now this guy is buddy up w/ a shirtless Matthew McCon and making out with an Olsen twin in a bar? SERIOUSLY? WHO WATCHES BIKE RACING ANYWAY!
However, I will take him out in a nonpainful way to acknowledge his super chill cameo in Dodgeball.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
ladainian tomlinson. Little cry baby bitch. I hope he breaks both of his legs.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
I am not waiting beacuse I will forget. Andy mother fucking Dick. Isn’t he due for an overdose of cocaine and cock.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
I pick Kevin O’neill for fucking up a potentially great Arizona Wildcats basketball team by trying to slow them down and have them play possesion basketball. That team was a track team goddamit!!
May 30th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Oh oh oh, Wilford Brimley! Fuck I hate you for making Cocoon 2…and for your Quaker Oats commercials.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
the guy from the UPS whiteboard ads.
I’ve heard that advertising campaign been described as brilliant. fuck. that. everytime I see that shit-for-brains I want to duct-tape him to a chair, shave his stupid hair off, and shove magic markets down his throat hole. why? I have no idea., but I suppose that’s the point.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
@ Otto – Careful in the library – never know when Carl Monday will be around.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Led Zeppelin, seriously I just don’t get why evryone is on their jock the entire first cd was ripped of soul music. whatever though
May 30th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Kathy Griffin. FTW
May 30th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Your face would be terrible as well if you had to fuck Tipper.
I still have nightmares about their kiss at the 2000 DNC. *shudder*
Oh oh oh, Wilford Brimley!
If you’ve never seen the “Strangers with Candy” episode with his audiobook, go find it now.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Ohio State University.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Any celebrity with a cameo on Engtourage. What’s that Snoop, you bumped into Vinnie Chase at the mall? Why not give him a 5-step handshake and tell him you should collaborate on some new material?
May 30th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Kurt Loder. He knows why
May 30th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
@Rocco… that was next on my board… nice pick. Anyone who puts THE in front of your name deserves to die… especially those cocky douches from OSU. Congratulations on your substandard education at THE OSU, douchebags.
For my next pick, I take Ellen Degeneres. I have no hard feelings, and she seems to be the unassuming anti Oprah (PS suck a dick, Oprah), but the dancing. It’s the dancing that puts her on my list.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Ohio State University.
If only for the cockgobblers on MNF who stress the “THE” when they give their school.
Hooray, you’re attending the main state university in Ohio. Why not brag about fucking the hottest chick in the special ed class while you’re at it?
May 30th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Judd Apatow and his whole troupe. 40 year old virgin= hilarious. each other movie just got less and less funny and while i am on director’s M. Night Shyamalan and Spielberg too
May 30th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
@Otto – By step out I meant opened another tab in firefox.
Also( and I know I am going to get kicked in the balls by smurphette for saying it this way) that Mexican or Indian looking chick from the office. I hate you.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
@ Smurftastic – you don’t “beat” cancer unless you’re Russell Crowe.
I take U2’s The Edge.
“Ooh I’m so whimsically taciturn”
Fuck you.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Steve Jobs – Enough with the turtlenecks you self-righteous doucebag.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Sorry Kyle, Apatow’s off he list. You pick worse than you throw!
May 30th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
@ TDUB – my fault came in late to this one, and even i don’t want to see myself start this season.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Kyle Korver – a cross between Ashton Kutcher and Billy Bob Thornton.
MMMmmmm, I think I’ll get AI some french fried pertaters…
May 30th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Republicans that listen to Phish.
Anyone that takes kayaking seriously.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
The Al Gore pick is great. Incovenient Truth wasn’t about the climate and the earth and global warming.
It was cock full Al Gore and Al Gore doing a PowerPoint presentation.
Make it about the issue and I might care. Make it about yourself and you get people like me wanting to pistol whip you while wasting energy.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Joe Gibbs. I’m not sure why. I’m not sure if it’s the NASCAR connection, the reach around from the DC press, or the whole JC freak thing. But I hate him.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
I’m thinking I’ve got a fantastic late round steal with:
Nancy Grace.
Take your fear mongering, fake hate and shove it up your ass
May 30th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Per special request from my friend who works at a real job where he can’t participate, I take Rod Stewart
May 30th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Foozer=draft winner
May 30th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Steve “Get Smart” Carell.
Not only is he overexposed and starring in horribly named films that co-star Dane Cook (Dan in Real Life), but I hate that in his leading man movie roles he uses the same mannerisms as Michael Scott, but whereas in The Office they reveal what a horrible douche and tyrant he is–in the movies they are supposed to be charming and quirky.
Steve, Will Ferrell just called. He wants his one-trick pony back. It’s John C. O’Reilly’s turn to ride it off into the sunset.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Kyle,
as a Vikings fan, I can’t wait til you start underthrowing four yard fade routes.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Rod Stewart reminds of another pick I wanted to make…Neil Diamond. You suck. Go away.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Bill Simmons…nuff said
May 30th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Really surprised nobody mentioned George Lucas yet.
The guy hasn’t made a good or great movie since 1983 for fuck’s sake, ruined one of my beloved film franchises and helped turn Indiana Jones into mediocre dreck.
I’d choke the man if I only I could fit my hands around his bulbous neck!
May 30th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
@ Mini Dagger
Great pick
May 30th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
The band Phish.
Jam bands suck as much as raggae (hell of a pick by whomever took it, by the way). They always seemed like another excuse for Deadheads to get high while eatinng shitty grilled cheese sandwiches.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Andy Dick
Not funny then, not funny now
May 30th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
The Grateful Dead and all of the smelly fugly fans that their shitty music spwaned.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Message boards and their posters/commentors.
Not us, mind you (we are cool). There’s a difference between blog commenters and what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the morons on tWWL and imdb, to name a few.
I dont know if that is a irrational hatred or not……unsure as to how many other people hate them.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Toby Keith. I can’t stand that hillbilly retard
May 30th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Back to talk show hosts.
Montel. He’s like the male Oprah… but with a psychic who he thinks is NOT full of shit on every month.
You = awful, you pretentious ass.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Damnit, how could I forget Simmons! Will, am I allowed to go after his intern (the second one)? Or do I have to wait 10 picks or something?
May 30th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Steve Carrell was on my list, mainly because of The Office. Worst. Show. Ever.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Well, not Will.
Corrected.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Jagerbombs. As a college student, I hear a lot of people raving about them, and it’s really fucking annoying. It’s a shitty liquor…in a shitty mixer! Con-grat-u-fucking-lations, you can drink dog shit! I was fortunate enough to be started on scotch at 14, and though whiskey costs more, it’s completely worth it.
Oh, and futurems., ignoring Peterson was a crime, but I don’t think the Tupelo/McGraw comparison’s really fair. McGraw, while not the most talented artist, is a country legend. I’m not a huge fan of Tupelo, but they were a good band. Not legendary though, and certainly nowhere near as influential as McGraw.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Al Sharpton.
I only have so much guilt to give.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Michael Brown, former head of FEMA.
What’s that? New Orleans and the Gulf Coast got blown to smithereens by a storm? Nah, we don’t need to do anything. It’ll dry out within a week.
As someone who did 4 relief trips to rebuild that area since Katrina, I offer you a hearty fuck you.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
@foozer: While I fully agree with you (I’ve wanted Nancy Grace to develop a painful disease/sickness for some time), I don’t think its an irrational hatred.
I think anyone with a working brain hates her.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
I’m surprised Phish/The Grateful Dead etc. lasted so long. Possibly because so many people really do hate them.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Stephen Colbert. Dude, you make enough money; get that ear fixed.
How does selecting Nancy Grace entitle one to the win? That may be the most rational hatred named today. She’s a fucking cunt. Everyone hates her. Seriously, name one person you know who actually likes or respects her.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
The Love Guru
May 30th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
@Tdub Tell me about it, Bad Quarterbacks are the Bears fan’s curse though. Tarvaris Jackson ain’t a whole lot better. I am waiting to see if purple jesus gets hurt again, or when Jared Allen gets suspended for the year for his third substance abuse violation. You guys would be a lot more dangerous given a better quarterback. I have this bad feeling the lowly Lions could pull the division off this year.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
That ugly slit Laura Ingram.
We get it, nobody wants to touch your Pink Taco. Stop being bitter and shoving your born-again values down my throat.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
@ mini dagger: A-motherfucking-men my friend. I hate that pompous dick.
Dur, I can draw. Big deal you floppy haired fuck.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
@sdbruin — good call on reggae. I hate that shit.
I’m picking David Archuleta. I just want to punch that little douchebag in the face. And fuck all those teenage girls that love him because they’re too stupid to realize that he’s obviously gay.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Jess Jackson. Extort some more companies you racist. Keep segregating yourselves.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
The management at CNN, Time Warner cable, the people on the view, and others all seemingly love Nancy Grace, otherwise she wouldn’t be getting paid to spew swill on a daily basis.
I will, however, concede that it is a rational pick, so maybe gets DQ’d. I was just so amazed she fell that far/I didn’t pick her. She should be thrown in jail for her behavior during the Duke rape case.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Poor People
May 30th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS STILL ON HERE:
Perez Hilton
I know that most people who read this site (aka non-douches) hate him… but sitting in the back of a law school class… at least 70% of the computer screens show his site in each class.
“OOOH I know how to use Paint and write stuff like a 3 year old. Sometimes I call celebrities fat. Tee hee, I’m such a rebel!”
May 30th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Please excuse me while I change my screen name to futuremrfuturemrsrickankiel.
Seriously, you like football and Uncle Tupelo? I just made a mess in my pants.
The front of my pants.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Dave The Wave – Commenter on NOIS. If you don’t know why you don’t deserve to.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
i don’t know who they are but these people who clog up the l.i.e. (long island expressway) every friday during the summer to go out to the hamptons and then clog it back up on sunday to go home. where the hell do they all come from? stay the fuck off long island and give me back the road.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Since Nancy Grace is gone, I’ll complete the pairing with Glenn Beck.
Look, I’m all for hiring the mentally retarded, but there’s no need to put them in front of the camera.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
The guy held captive in my basement.
\won’t put the damn lotion on his skin.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Kirk Cameron
How can you give up all the fame and glory from Growing Pains to spend time spreading God’s word?
There are legions of 30 something women out there who would volunteer to be your slam-piece if you’d only let them!
May 30th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Julia Roberts. I’ve hated her for 20 years, for no good goddamn reason.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
@ Lebowski,
Give him the hose, then.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
al davis – i’ve never actively cheered for anyone to die, but there will be dancing and drinking when this fucker is buried.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Wanna-be hippies. I am sure everyone here knows one. The dipshits that wore Abercrombie & Fitch in high school who come back after one semester in college and all of a sudden they have fucking dreadlocks and don’t bathe and act like they care about the enviornment and hate “The Man”, even though they still drive that H2 Hummer their parents bought them and they go to Starbucks. Fuck you hippies!!!
May 30th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Beyonce. Stupid Cunt.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
hippies > wanna-be hippies
they burn cleaner and faster
for those of you who can’t tell the difference, the real hippies have black soles when barefoot.
/santa cruz hippie hatred expert
May 30th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Clint Eastwood.
His movies are fucking dribble. Seriously, they are so bad I can’t take it.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Pat Sajak. I have a friend with a lake house within a stone’s throw of Sajak’s. Literally. Like all we need are some stones.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I am going to take a stab here and say Otto man isn’t a Republican??
May 30th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Amy Winehouse.
Right, she’s a crackhead so most people judge her… but what’s with all the obsession over her music? Again, I don’t get what all the fuss is about.
And the beehive? REALLY? A-it doesn’t look good, and B-pockets are much more practical for hiding drugs, or so I’m told.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Anyone who works at google. I use it, you use it, God uses it, but just because you work there doesn’t mean that you have a badge that says “I get to act like an ass for the rest of my life.” Anyone from the bay knows that Mountain View is a breeding ground for the next generation of douchebags. All we need is Shia or Zach Braff to move there to seal the deal.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
This is local but Fox 29 in Philadelphia correspondent Julie Kim.
For an Asian gal, her eyes are way too far apart. Looks like a grey alien with a human mask on.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Shane from the shield, always hated that pussy.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
@Jefferson Short Bus…took her early in the draft. Still can’t figure out why everyone loves her, why people go to her movies, or why she makes what $20M per? She’s ugly.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
hippies > wanna-be hippies
they burn cleaner and faster
Does the patchouli smell better when they burn? Because as Patton Oswalt put it, regular patchouli already smells like dirt that’s been fucked by a hobo.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
@ Hank Scorpio
I draft Gary Pappa. Just read the damn sports script!
May 30th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
I am going to take a stab here and say Otto man isn’t a Republican??
So many comments coming to mind here, but I’ll leave it at a civil “no.”
May 30th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
im super late here because its friday and my boss is out so ive been busy doing nothing ni other peoples offices all day, but CTRL F tells me no one has taken barry bonds yet. yoink! and fuck him in the face.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Dr. 90210
May 30th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
@ Otto
haha fair enough
May 30th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Mike, I see your point… I think if you understood how rabidly obsessed with Uncle Tupelo’s music I am, you’d see why I equate their talent with Peterson. McGraw is cool — I listen to him, just like I listen to Benny Goodman — but musically there’s no comparison, say I.
claude balls, clean yourself up! We’ve got company coming over.
/tosses you a rag
Incidentally, I saw Jay Farrar and Son Volt in Boston this past weekend and it was unbe-fucking-lievable. He ended with “Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way” by Waylon Jennings and I almost dropped dead.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
@ Big Hern – thanks for the props, and for mentioning David Archuleta. I’ll go one step further and draft his dad, Papa Joe, Billy Ray Cyrus, and every other overbearing parent who feels they need to manage their kid’s business affairs, even beyond the age of maturity. You are all greedy leeches looking to capitalize on your offspring for financial gain. Go fuck yourselves.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Chris Hansen.
/For depriving so many kids of alcohol and stuffed animals.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
i’m taking that loud mouth asshat – stephen/steven a. smith. stfu, buddy.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Megan Fox.
Sure, she’s attractive with clothes on. But stop trotting out your tatoo covered body. You look like recovering addict Josh Hamilton with all that sanscript on your torso.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Cheryl David. Fucking whiny, spoiled, complaining, pampered waspy bitch who only married Larry for the money, never backs him up, always sells him out, and is just generally a shitty wife. Call me crazy, but I’d rather be married to Susie than Cheryl. At least with Susie you know what you’re in for.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
@Rocco: My bad. I missed that. Let’s try this instead:
Terry McMillian. Fuck you, and fuck Waiting to Exhale, with its perpetuation of the stereotype that all Black men are worthless. If anyone deserved to be left by their husband because he was secretly gay, it’s you.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Harrison Ford – Comb your hair you douche!
May 30th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Conan O’Brien
May 30th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
That was a genius pick, Cock Flashy. (A sequence of words I have never expected to say in my lifetime). Even better that she’s not even real, but a character. I hate that bitch.
I have to choose suped up Long Island shit car owners. You think squealing around in your C3PO-color-spray-painted Saturn Ion with the spoiler twice as high as the car itself means you are cool? Take some of the money you blew on making your car look “cool” and invest it in a decent car. I can at least respect assholes racing fast cars, rather than douchebags making shitty cars look like they should be fast but arent.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
The Menards Guy.
I hate his crooked-ass smile and his creepy hair.
http://www.menardsguy.com/
May 30th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
futurems.: Oh, I fully understand. I feel precisely the same way about Johnny Cash. Insulting him around me is a quick ticket to a stabbing.
Metallica. Loved by fucking everyone, but so damn annoying. Plus, they completely betrayed their original ethic. I’m not going to demand that artists never do videos or sell products, but if it’s part of your credo that you’re non-commercial, then you turn around and sell yourself like a $3 whore, you should get plenty of shit for it. Add in the fact that I don’t like their music, or see anything particularly special about it, and you have irrational hatred in spades.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Joss Whedon.
Loved, LOVED Firefly/Serenity (and Buffy was good). But this earnest male-feminist takes himself too goddamn seriously. Plus he’s got the most unreasonably rabid, loyal cult fanbase that laps up every word of his overwrought empowerment blog posts and so-boring-I-want-to-scrape-by-brains-out-of-my-skull-with-a-rusty-spoon DVD commentaries.
Just. Hate. That. Guy.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Country music. I know it’s not a person but I hate it so much I have to rant about it. I have lived in the South my whole life and I can honestly say I have never once liked this shit. People ask me all the time “why don’t you like country music, you have lived here your whole life and you were born in Tennessee?” I say it’s because it fucking sucks. Just because you live in Oregon am I suppose to assume you are some hippie dispshit?? Oh and another thing why do so many people from the North like this shit?? That baffles my mind. Also fuck NASCAR. I had to get that off my chest.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Stella Artois.
The official beer of douchebags who pretend to like good beer.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Mimes.
Doesn’t matter if they’re doing that “trapped in a box” or “walking against the wind” shit, I just want to set them on fire when I see them.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Allison Krause and Robert Plant – I like both of them separately but Christ together they sound like nails on a chalkboard to me.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
@Joey: We like it because it’s good-old American music. None of that rap shit you kids listen to. Which reminds me…
Rap music. Fuck rap and fuck hip-hop. No talent assholes.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Haha Joey JJ Jr. S… we would NOT get along, dear. I’m a born-and-raised Boston gal with an inexplicable love of both [good] country music AND stock-car racing.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Don’t think I have seen him yet… Rudy Guiliani. Fuck him and his exploitation of the worst day in my life. Put your command center in the middle of the biggest terrorist target. Veto spending so fireman can have up to date radio equipment. Pay cops so little that the average guy leaves in 3 years. If hate were people, I would be China.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
the rolling fucking stones. you fuckers have been embalmed for going on 40 years now. just disappear and live off royalties like normal people, you addled yapcunts.
people who work in the media and don’t know it’s a plural noun, which leads them to locutions like: the mainstream media is unanimous in its praise for senator obama. you illiterate photogenic fucks, may you be defaced in a car wreck.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
that asshole from diners, drive-ins and dives. Him and his stupid wristband can fry in kitchen of some incredibly quirky restaurant outside of charleston sc.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Every single Black person who ever told another Black person that studying, doing well in school, speaking proper English, and success and achievement was not keeping it real. You, not insufficient affirmative action programs, are personally responsible for delaying racial equality by another generation. Fuck yourselves.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
@rocco: I guarantee joey was referring to the Garth Brooks/Shania Twain era and everything that followed, when Country”Music” went from guys like Waylon and Willie to unimaginative cocks and cunts who were nothing more than Bon Jovi/Lita Ford with fiddles and cowboy hats.
Most modern country hits are built around a chorus hook taken from bumper stickers found in a random Wal-Mart parking lot.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Chris Paul.
FUCK. OFF.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Value Pick: Justin Long (the Apple guy)
Somehow manages enough douche to make the PC guy look cooler than him.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
@ the incredible fulk
but how else will those tokyo-drifting douchebags make their saturday night bar runs if not for racing light to light on rt 25 showing off their neon ground effects and slut-whore girlfriends?
May 30th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
@ Rocco I hate rap with a passion as well…I don’t really classify rap as music.
@ Future- haha sure we would, I have a lot of friends who love country music but I have learned to go to my “happy place” when either that or NASCAR are on TV, radio, etc. It’s the only reason I am not locked up in jail.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
@ porky1
exactly…the new shit is what I meant.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
The song “Sweet Home Alabama.” I was born in Alabama, and I HATE this song. Mostly because almost every person who sings along with that song is not from Alabama. Posers.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
@ Naptown:
Troo dat. Does ANYONE have sympathy for the Mac side? The PC dork is just so much more likable. “I’m a snotty Gen-Y tool.” “And I’m a PC.” What marketing genius would want “PC” to seem like the BUMBLING UNDERDOG in a comparison? That’s how we got 8 years of Bush for chrissakes!
May 30th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
FutureMrs you’re getting the boys all riled up…country and NASCAR? How does this all fit with your mixed-drink selections?
May 30th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
@porky & Joey: You must be referring then to Rascal Flatts, etc. Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m listening to the country stations or the Top-40 station.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Is it irrational to hate everyone from Nebraska?
Pick up the fucking pace!
May 30th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Rascall Flatts…exactly. Winger with cowboy hats. Fucking lame.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Thursday in the Square. A local Buffalo thing. Used to be cool. Huge outdoor free concert with beer tents. Then it got popular and every asshole started coming and it’s a total cluster F.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Jesus Tittyfucking Christ, you need to do these on days when I’m in my office at my computer all day!
Anyway, my first pick is Giada DeLaurentiis. Stupid bitch thinks she can flash her titties and make up for her Skeletor-like mouth and annoying personality? A pox, I says!
May 30th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Oh goddammit. I read every one of these posts only to be denied my pick at the last minute. The PC vs. Mac commercials are fucking horrible.
That said, I’ll draft Mac users as a whole. Macs are computers for retards who don’t know how to use computers. If you want to be unique, try Unix. Otherwise, stfu, nobody cares.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
It says in the post “those people you hate deeply and irrationally”. I took that to mean people, not “PTI” or “rap music”. Gee, that’s so irrational since everyone likes rap music. Huh?
This draft is all over the place, but there are some good ones for sure.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Switzerland. Pick a freakin’ side already.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Tatoos. Great. You have a tatoo. Or multiple tatoos. Yes, they look cool. Does that make you cooler than me? Go fuck yourself.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Charles Bukowski.
I have a friend who thinks CB’s the greatest writer ever, you need to read this, read this, read this…
I don’t need to read this. Let me sum it up.
“Chinaski” gets a job.
“Chinaski” gets drunk.
“Chinaski” pisses off his boss.
“Chinaski” gets drunk.
“Chinaski” fucks an ugly broad.
“Chinaski” gets drunk.
“Chinaski” gets fired.
“Chinaski” gets drunk.
“Chinaski” gets dumped.
“Chinaski” gets drunk.
The End.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Ha! Not sure what to tell you, Rocco. I’m a complex gal, I suppose.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Radiohead. Mostly because of people who claim that “You’ll like them if you just give them a chance! I mean… they single handedly changed music!” Fuck you and fuck your band.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Value pick: Jeremy Shockey
May 30th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Edit: people with tatoos. Or people who make/produce/listen to rap music. Sorry Voice of Unreason.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
no ones chosen the nyc homeless yet? mine!
May 30th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Anybody with an abortion-related sticker on their car.
Pro-lifers & pro-choicers both suck my dick. You’ve taken a single campaign issue and turned it into the thing that decides who you vote for every election. Education? Economy? Foreign Relations? Individual Rights? Who the fuck cares about those issues? I just care about abortion.
If abortion is your #1 issue no matter your side, you’re a fucking moron. Thanks for telling me this while I’m stuck in traffic.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
neil young. if Dana Carvey can replicate you EXACTLY in both singing and playing the guitar, you fucking suck at your job. And don’t tell a southern man how to live his life you fucking Canadian.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
High fives to alx.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Next pick… Heroes. I’ve never watched the show, thus making my hate for it irrational. I just hate that they’re trying to imitate the ZOMG mysterious ensemble cast show from LOST so hard and the whole superhero thing at the same time. Plus, I hate how every other fucking week they have a new catchphrase for the show. Fuck ‘em. And fuck Hayden Panetierre (literally and figuratively… I’d do her so hard, but GOD DAMN she’s too fucking perky)
May 30th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Whoever pretends to be a guardian of Wikipedia entries. Congrats on your self-named custody of Barbaro’s page. You will surely find happiness on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge.
\affirmed
May 30th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
@porky: I don’t think anyone has sympathy for the Mac guy, but they pity the PC guy. The Apple marketers are making him a pitiful object; it’s hard to associate with that. Hodgman makes him likeable, but he can’t keep him from being pitiful, and no one wants to be associated with pitiful.
@Klak: Yeah yeah yeah, and PCs are computers for people who really like reboots and viruses. Jesus, get over the inferiority complex. Using computer choice to stereotype people is fucking retarded.
Irrational hatred: People who define themselves or others by brand names. Hollister/Playstation/Nike are not fucking personality traits.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
anyone with vanity license plates. best one i ever saw was “RC BOATER” some one is that enthusiastic about remote controlled boating ?
May 30th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
@Rocco
Correct.
What also drives me crazy is when SOME of these Northerners move down to the South and get a hard on for country music and enjoy the beaches and what not yet continue to talk shit about how much better the North is…well if it’s so great go back home asshole. I don’t want to have to hear all the time how great Jersey is, aka the armpit of America.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Gisele Bündchen.
Fuck Tom Brady, but not me? Fuck you.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Women who do oral and anal and still call themselves virgins. Yup, you’ve saved your “virtue” for your true love, whom you’re going to marry someday. Hope he likes the fact that you shit pancakes.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Haha Truer words have never been spoken short bus
May 30th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
I have to admire how quickly this turned into a national episode of “You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?”
May 30th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
New Bands, I get it you’re misunderstood. I got it the first time around with Nirvana and Pearl Jam. Shut up play your songs and get off the stage.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
The hits just keep on coming. I nominate Lil Wayne for releasing that fucking “Lollipop” song. Speaking of hip-hop, what the hell has music come to when bullshit like this song and that fucking Soulja Boy song are able to dominate radio play?
Fuck you Lil Wayne. Fuck Soulja Boy for that matter too…you fucking douchebag. Guy drives around in his parents’ Nissan Sentra but he’s a gangster? Yeah, right.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
@chris-bess mervin: Haha your anticipation of my reaction is endearing, but I don’t really mind because I’m kind of over The Office and I’m not the fly-off-the-handle type of girl. And ew, she’s definitely not Mexican.
@alx: Oh my god, WORD. I fucking hate Radiohead.
Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. HE IS NOT HOT. Yes, I watch The Tudors, but my loathing of him is perfect for him to play Henry. He was the only thing I didn’t like about Bend It Like Beckham – THERE IS NO WAY TWO CHICKS WOULD FIGHT OVER HIM. GUHHHH.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Mike kinda touched on this, but what really grinds my gears is people who think that they are expressive and creative BECAUSE they use apple rather than PC.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Jefferson Short Bus wins because that is the most irrational thing I have read today. If my wife could shit pancakes, especially if they came with butter and syrup included, I would treat her like a queen.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Yay my partner in hate returns!
…and while you’re here, my dear, I’m drafting Peyton Manning. Kiss my value pick, bitches. This dipshit fetus-faced corporate shill makes me gag.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Wendy’s. You’re not better than fast food. YOU ARE FAST FOOD, just more fucking expensive.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Nate Dolan – The NBA creates a rule so we can get rid of Allan Houston’s giant contract with literally no repurcussion, and what does he do. He uses it to cut Jerome “JYD” Williams.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Actually make that James Dolan, I think Nate Dolan was a kid I played baseball with in High School but whatever, fuck that kid too.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
@Smurphette – Hey I just didn’t want to offended anyone with boobs. Even if the are a colts fan.
Anyways Baltimore can also suck it.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
King of the Hill. That show blows.
Oh wait, I just rationalized that hate.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Taco Bell commercials. All of them. They fucking suck, especially the one where the chick has a bacon chalupa in a handbag.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Bob Dylan.
Speak English, bitch!
May 30th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Girls with fat asses that wear thongs and hip hugging pants so i have to see the whale tail when they are sitting down, if you want to wear it cool but seriously I don’t want to see it.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
@Otto: guilty as charged. I’m sure you saw this coming though…I’m running out of individual people who most people like but I hate for no good reason. Not a very deep draft.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Um, Stu Scott anyone? Or was it too obvious? We’re like 400 picks in here, I figured he’d be in the top 10. I knew what shuckin’ and jivin’ was, but I never actually SAW it until he got on the air.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Jennifer Lopez
someone please explain to me what her talent is?
May 30th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
So my 12 picks (13 minus 1 DQ) are done, I think I’ve got as good a roster as anyone this draft.
Sara Jessica Parker (solid #1 pick)
Kevin Garnett (a natural, if you think about it enough)
Tyler Perry (sleeper)
Michael Jordan (a round 4 shocker!)
Brett Ratner (DQ’d-picked too soon)
Ringo Starr (it’s Ringo)
Jessica Alba (How can stupidity detract from a bimbo? She found a way.)
Bugs Bunny (I hate that durn rabbit)
Ashton Kutcher (Surprising he fell so low)
Seth Green (ditto)
Justin Timberlake (late round steal of the draft)
Stella Artois (project pick)
Charles Bukowski (Mr. Irrelevant)
See y’all in the Hater Playoffs! Hate, hate, hate!
May 30th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Jack Kirby.
All your drawings look like fucking squares with arms and feet.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Department stores that put Christmas decorations out before Halloween.
This has zero negative repercussions on my life, but it irritates the shit out of me. I get mad to the point where if I’m walking around Target in mid-October and I see wreaths, I yell things at the inanimate Christmas merchandise.
/has problems
May 30th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Every one of those home deocrator and staging show experts. Look, I’m not looking to be entertained. I’m looking for good ideas and making drapes out of newspapers is not a good idea. Give the people some real help and leave your eccentricities to a minimum.
“Oooh I can put a sheet over a old sofa and make it look new?” No fucking way!!!
May 30th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
NPR’s Neil Cohnen(sp?)
I imagine him being an incredibly pretentious asshole that loves winetasting and plays.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Annnnnnnnnd I will go with Seth McFarland. I will admit, I have chuckled at some Family Guy and find American Dad pretty good, but no joke, fuck that dude and his love for musical theater. I have never seen a smugger dick in my life.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
People who tell me how great British comedy is and then condescend to me that I just “don’t understand it” and “if they could explain it to me” I would like it.
Monty Python blows and the original British Office is about as funny as watching puppies be put to sleep.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
have you ever thought maybe you just don’t understand it? I’m sure someone would explain it to you… if they could.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
I swear 472 must be a record for the Friday fantasy draft here at KSK.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
I believe Josh Groban is still on the board.
I keep stubble on my face for an extra couple of days to neutralize the metrosexual influence of people like that whiny sumbitch.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
@UU: she falls into the inexplicably popular women with huge asses group alongside Kim Kardashian. Or else she’s Jenny from the block, and who doesn’t like the girl next door?
Huge pick of the day: Elisha Cuthbert. Hot as hell, could care less if she’s a good actress or not, but dated that cock knocker Sean Avery? Cheers to the MYFO gang for thorough Avery-bashing this season.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
@futuremrs: At the risk of not giving you the reaction you were hoping for, I’m not a particularly huge Peyton fan myself. I mean, I’m glad he’s our QB and all, but he’s a total douche. Partners in hate, indeed. I love the taste of haterade in the morning….and every other time of day.
Next selection: Candace Bushnell, for writing the book that spawned Sex and the City. And really, “chick lit” in general. Fuck you, “beach read.” Go to hell spunky, whiny, contrived “heroines.” Jane Austen is rolling in her grave.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Smurphette wins.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Billy Packer. What a douchebag
May 30th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Not a pick…my draft is done.
That said, I’m very surprised Miley Cyrus is still in the green room.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Well, I think that oughtta cover it. Nice work everyone, I think we all feel better.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Was Miley Cyrus the “fan” that ran onstage during Toby Keith’s CMT Music Awards performace? Or was that a real fan who was really escorted off stage? I really couldn’t tell, but if that was her, I have a bit of sympathy for Billy Ray, what with the producers of the show parading his 15 year-old daughter out there to dance like a stripper.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Arcade Fire.
Every hipster and music critic loves them, but I just can’t stand them. They’ve singlehandedly ruined the whole “indie rock” genre, because now every band getting a contract is a whiny-ass Vampire Weekend or Panda Bear or Yeasayer or whatever Pitchforkmedia.com is beating off about this month.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
The Haterade in these comments are astounding. I hate all of you for it.
May 30th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
I pick rocco, because he called my favorite athlete a cock-knocker.
May 30th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
I’m coming into this draft almost 500 picks late on a Friday afternoon and I’ve read some really good shit here but my first pick still hasn’t been taken.
MY SELECTION: The people of Wisconsin. Fuck those obese, Miller-and-brandy-swilling, cheese-and-bacon-grease-injecting Neanderthals. Fuck the Packers, fuck Brett Favre (already selected), fuck Reggie White, fuck Bart Starr, fuck Paul Hornung, fuck Tony Mandarich, fuck Sterling Sharpe, fuck Lynn Dickey…
May 30th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
manbearpig…half man, half bear and half pig..and i hate me all of some man-bear-pig
May 30th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
In all seriousness I would like to pick Sherriff Joe Arpaio, Sherrif of Maricopa County, AZ. How this dude isn’t more nationally reviled is beyond me. He started Tent City, an experimental prison facility in burlap tents in the FUCKING DESERT OF ARIZONA. Then, he makes them wear striped canvas jumpsuits and dies their undies pink? FUCK THAT!
May 30th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Sergio Garcia
I can’t think of a single thing he’s ever done to piss me off, but I still hate his fucking guts. I just don’t like his stupid face. I get unnaturally excited when I see him miss shots or lose and I couldn’t care less about golf.
May 30th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
tom jackson – for encouraging chris berman for all these years.
May 30th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Congrats
May 30th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
KSK
May 30th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
That’s
May 30th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
500
May 30th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Cockblocked!
May 30th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Posts
May 30th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
AAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
May 30th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
We will meet again, Otto.
May 30th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
JJTB: WTF? I didn’t declare myself eligible for the draft. I don’t know if we’d get along all that well anyway, seeing that after first reading about Sherriff Arpaio, I was thoroughly impressed with his tactics.
May 30th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Rocco reads my blog so he is exempt from haterade.
May 30th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Otto Man,
Well played, Old Sport. I’ve been enjoying your work, but since I’ve just learned TDub is a fellow Vikings fan, I want you to know this: you shall rue the day, sir.
Also, the Chiefs cheated in the 1970 Super Bowl and Hank Stram trained child soldiers in Liberia and Sierra Leone.
May 30th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Terri Schiavo. Ok, we get it. You’re lazy and don’t wanna work. Why should I care???
Also, what would it take for Smurphette and FutureMrs to hook up? Can I help facilitate this in any way?
(Wilco > Uncle Tupelo)
May 30th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
What would it take for Smurphette and FutureMrs to hook up?
At least a guarantee that they would never feel creeped out about being the only two regular female commenters on the site. And it might help if they were actually lesbians.
May 30th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Never creeped out? C’mon…they already know about my blood-stained clown suit I wear while commenting.
Oh right…I forgot they can’t see me…
May 30th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Cumulus clouds. Those wonderful puffy, cottony clouds that usually accompany fine weather, but every time one of those fuckers passes in front of the sun, it gets windy and chilly and pisses me off. Fuck cumulus clouds.
May 30th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
@ Future Mrs.: So do I, as a matter of fact the Avery post on there is what reminded me of it.
May 30th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
OK over 500 picks in & I will draft Eli Manning – just because either he was not drafted or he was and I’m to lazy to read every post.
May 30th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
For my next selection, I choose actor John Corbett. He played the same bullshit rugged-yet-sensitive douche bag character in in drivel like “Northern Exposure”, “Sex and the City” and “My Big, Fat Greek Wedding”. Now he’s doing voice-overs for Applebee’s and uses words like “killer app’s” to describe nachos and onion blossoms.
I’ve always smelled a rat when it comes to that guy. I have an irrational hatred for this mincing applejohn and wish him a painful and ironic death. Any ideas, anyone?
May 30th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Kirsten Dunst. Squinty eyes. Makes me nervous.
May 30th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Soda fillers who take 5 minutes for the foam to settle and don’t move their ass out of the way. People who turn out into a turn and squeeze your lane like they are driving a freaking F-350 instead of a Prizm. Repetitive use of the term “y’all”. While drinking their 10 minute soda and turning into my lane. DIE!
May 30th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
It’s a steal to get him this late, but I’ll take Chris Kattan. All he’s trying to do is make me laugh, and it’s perfectly rational to be annoyed by him and dislike him, but the hatred I feel for this little fucker goes far, far beyond that.
May 30th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
people who believe in ghosts. they are not real, but your down syndrome is.
May 30th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
late to the game here, but Hilary Swank is my clear-cut number one, apparently i’m the only person on the planet who thinks she’s a terrible actress AND that she has a horse-face…if she could only have had a child with barbaro, we would’ve finally seen the unification of the best actor oscar and triple crown titles.
May 30th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Gino and TDub:
I look forward to reviving the rivalry of Super Bowl IV. Drew and I are already wallowing in the mire, and I’m sure he’d appreciate some help, seeing how the Vikings were the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked in that game.
May 30th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
@ Gino,
thanks for putting Otto on notice. That is one palindrome that will get what’s coming to him… you know… electronically.
May 30th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Drew,
Jared Allen and his entourage of Hennepin county sherriff’s deputies will put us back on top. And you will be the ones who are the ball-lickers!!!
May 30th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Not Drew, I meant Otto…
//gracefully exits.
May 30th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
@TDub
We’ll get this commenter board up to nearly 600 posts and then do something to settle Otto Man’s hash. We’ll give him the old Ragnarök Surprise, if you know what I mean.
Also, Lamar Hunt made his fortune selling bogus Malk (with Vitamin R) to school children.
May 30th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Duderino, Hillary Swank went ages ago (would have been a good solid irrational pick otherwise). My #3 pick will be all Israelis. I’m not talking about Jews, I’m talking about people who are from the country of Israel. I used to work in the backpacking industry, and it seemed like every story that came down the grapevine about someone’s stash getting stolen or someone ducking out without paying their bill had to do with Israelis. Hopefully for the purposes of this draft “prejudicial” is equal to “irrational”.
May 30th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Well, for my thing de resistance, I choose “Otto Man” with my last selection, and I call it a day.
May 30th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
@ Zack – What the fuck is “the backpacking industry”?
May 30th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
SAVE BIG MONEY AT MENARDS!
May 30th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
John John TB, I realized that as soon as I posted! I just feel the need to shout people out :) and you know I share in your love of Sean Avery, so there you go.
Since this thread is pretty much dead, I’ma go ahead and whisper and teeny “Go Celtics!” on it. Woo!
May 30th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Whoa. Fuck. A smiley. I had no idea that would pop up. Cool!
May 30th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
@futuremrs
Thread isn’t dead, but since the Celts can beat Kobe and Detroit can’t, I’ll say go Celts too.
May 30th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Carrie Underwood.
I’m STILL pissed that she won American Idol three years ago.
May 30th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
I didn’t feel like reading through 531 comments (yet) but I Ctrl + F and didn’t see see his name, so I’ll assume he’s available:
John Elway
The only player I ever openly rooted to get a career-threatening injury on the field (Unlike Leonard Little, who I hope gets run over by a family member of someone who was killed by a drunk driver).
May 30th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks.
I have no idea why, but I just want to thwack her in the head with a crowbar.
The thread lives!
May 30th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
@ jl white – I’m with you 100%, but I have a reason for hating Elway. I grew up across the street from a total white trash piece of garbage kid named Ricky Hunt who looked exactly like John Elway but 15 yrs younger. So every time I would see Elway, I’d think of that punk ass Ricky Hunt and then everything would go white. So yeah…kudos on the Elway pick.
May 30th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Manu Ginobili
He plays hoops the way I did, what with the reckless abandon and high energy (plus lots more talent) but fuck do I hate it when that son of a bitch flops like he got shot with a fucking bazooka.
May 30th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
The entire city of Sacramento. Fucking be something already!
LA has all the coke and hollywood
San Diego has the hot jail bait ass and mexicans
San Fransisco has the incredible views and queers
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU BRING TO THE TABLE????111
May 30th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Linkin Park. You’re a fucking boy band that was put together by your manager, just admit to it. Hell, so were the Sex Pistols, and 50+ year old Johnny Rotten & Steve Jones would still kick your asses, both literally and figuatively. Plus Chester Bennington (total yuppie fratboy name) sounds like Geddy Lee’s whiny effeminate kid brother, without the benefit of having real musicians behind him.
And while I’m at it, fuck their fans who think they’re so goddamn hardcore when they’re about as dangerous as Clay Aiken.
May 30th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Kenny G. Godammit. I hate this pathetic, mousey-haired, limp-wristed, ass spelunker. If I were to ever cross paths, I would stab him in the fucking adams apple with a tuning fork.
May 30th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
And another couple. Fellow Vikings fan here but I can’t help hating on the Zygi Wilf and the Brad Childress. I’ll give you this year fuckers! and if you screw it up, there’s a meat tenderizer and band saw in both of your immediate futures. God, I miss Bud Grant
May 30th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Evgeni Malkin, the cherrypicking, slue-footing, injury-faking, cheap-shotting Russian motherfucker that I hate more than any other hockey player in history (although he’s no high-fiving motherfucker if you ask me)
May 30th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
@Naptown Drew: You are a treat (and completely correct). Most of the Indy guys around here are lovely, I am pleased to say.
@SonofSpam: While we are very good friends, that’s just not how we roll. I mean, she’s a Pats fan. I could never hook up with a Pats fan who was a dude, let alone a girl. I’m sure she feels the same way about Colts fans.
May 30th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
@12 Pack Abs,
It’s good to see another long-suffering Vikings fan here. It’s even better to see one who dreams of a world without Kenny “No Talent Assclown” G. I’m not yet sure about Zygi Wilf and Tobias Fünke Childress, but I’ll take them over Red McCombs and Mike Tice.
May 30th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
Couldn’t find him, so: JJ Abrams. Trying to ruin Lost. Ruined Mission Impossible 3. I am never going to watch Cloverfield because I hate this smarmy fuck so much and all the debate over “OMG the ending was terrible!” “OMG no it wasn’t!” is pissing me off. I refuse to give him any more attention by watching that movie and forming an opinion about it.
…and here I am calling attention to him.
May 30th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Here’s my next irrational hatred selection: the British Monarchy.
May 30th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Steal of the draft right here:
The State of New Jersey
May 30th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
I withdraw my last pick. Hating the British Monarchy is completely rational. USA!
May 30th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Steal of the draft: The Pope. You’ve got people who aren’t even catholic kneeling down and kissing his ring. What self-respecting person does that? And everybody fucking loves him, as shown by his recent US trip. Everybody ignores the fact that when he was a cardinal he sent a note to every bishop threatening penalties including excommunication to anyone who reported child abuse to local authorities.
I don’t care if that makes my choice rational.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
I select the English. I have an irrational hatred for the people of England. The Scots, Irish, Welsh and Manx are all cool with me, but fuck John Bull and the Limeys.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:31 pm
Stephen A. Smith
or maybe that’s
May 30th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
STEPHEN A SMITH!!!!!!!!!!
May 31st, 2008 at 12:02 am
Mrs John McCain
May 31st, 2008 at 12:05 am
I irrationally hate a lot of sports teams: the Spurs, Lakers, Yankees, Patriots, but (being Canadian) the one I hate the most is the goddamn Toronto Maple Leafs!
Every f-ing year I have to deal with their asshole, zealot fans (who pick fights with anyone who DARES support another team). Then when the playoffs come around (which their shit team consistantly fails to make) every asshat in a blue and white jersey pretends like the season’s over! “Playoffs? What’s that?”
WTF?
Actually, after having read that I realize that’s a perfectly rational hatred.
How about the entire city of Toronto? Go fuck yourself Toronto.
May 31st, 2008 at 1:02 am
@dick_gozinia – Backpackers lodges are basically youth hostels, except smaller and more “intimate.” Great fun for a limited period of time (~1 year) because you are living in places where gap year women are visiting while they’re on vacation. The downside is that it’s like throwing a house party in your own home every single night.
May 31st, 2008 at 1:16 am
Marlon Perkins. Always sticking Jim with the dirty work. Bastard.
May 31st, 2008 at 2:20 am
with my mildly drunk last pick: The sticky thing on the side of newly-purchased CD cases. They have no reason for existing other than to be impossible to peel off. This is why I roll with iTunes store now. Say “good-bye” to you sticky-things and your dying medium!
/passive-aggressive parallelism
May 31st, 2008 at 2:24 am
&Gino Tourettsa – Good point about McCombs, but I was in Green Bay last year during the game that shall remain nameless so the hatred is still simmering.
NEXT POINT OF HATRED – Tony LaRussa. Apart from the hilarious COPS episode, I hate this douchebag Cardinal, wearing my sunglasses-at-night, trying-to-be-hip-so-I-can-hookup-with-bloated-Midwestern-sausage-swallowing-debutants-has-been so badly that I, well apparently am over hyphenating. Is that a word?
Damn that deamon alcohol
May 31st, 2008 at 2:49 am
@Stankonia:
I hear you on the H-dog hatred. Even before Obama stepped into the spotlight, I always hated this bitch for no reason. Now I have plenty … but I admit to having no real reasons at first.
I’d like to nominate The White Stripes. They’re pretty talented instrumentally, they have legions of fans, their music is catchy while still having some originality…
But Jack White’s voice sounds like nails on a fucking chalkboard. Fuck him. I hate him, his face, his music, and everyone he associates with.
I’ll also add to this list the movie “Fight Club.” I am almost definitely the only 15-29 year old in America to hate this fucking movie. And I do … so, so much. And I can’t intelligently explain why. I just hate it.
May 31st, 2008 at 3:20 am
I can’t believe I missed the entire draft, and most of my picks are still on the board, so I’m going to pick them all now.
1) Sean Combs. Just pick a name and stick with it, you talentless douchebag.
2) Jimmy Kimmel. You’re not funny, and you have 1/10th of Adam Carolla’s talent, and yet you’re the one that got the late night talk show. And you’re banging Sarah Silverman. I can’t believe the devil paid you that much for your worthless soul.
3) Jennifer Love Hewitt. It’s not that you refuse to show us your rack, it’s that your ego is so huge that you think you’re too GOOD to allow us to see your rack.
4) Jessica Alba. I know that she’s already been picked, but I’m picking her for the same reason as my pick #3.
And with my final pick…..
5) Everyone who voted for Hillary Clinton…..but ESPECIALLY everyone who voted for her because “I ain’t votin’ for no Mooslim.” Everyone who sincerely believes that Barack Obama is a Muslim should be involuntarily spayed or neutered. If they already have offspring, then those offspring should also be spayed or neutered. It’s time to clean up the gene pool, people.
May 31st, 2008 at 3:30 am
@Johnny Spoons
Amen, brother.
May 31st, 2008 at 3:36 am
Def f–ing leppard…… somehow i hear you made a new album and to top of that pile of sht you add tim mcgraw to it…..and why has no one mentioned indaina jones and the kingdom of crystal crap…all of them ford, lucas, spielberg shoudl burn for that waste
May 31st, 2008 at 3:37 am
Kevin Garnett. You are a poor man’s Tim Duncan, yet judging from your attitude it would seem like you are an awesome player. Oh wait, you’re a pussy who is afraid to take big shots when your team has a chance to win the Finals. Drive to the hoop? Naw, that’s not the RAWR I’M INTENSE way of KG, much more RAWR to pass it to Rondo who doesn’t have a prayer of knocking down a jumpshot. MVP candidate my ass.
2nd, anyone who watches VH1 or E!. You’re either a wannabe celebrity blogger or a slut trying to get on a reality show, either way you suck at life.
May 31st, 2008 at 3:50 am
Jay Mariotti, those Mac/PC commercials and Blackberries.
May 31st, 2008 at 4:16 am
sorry to piss off the mrs, but i gotta hate on rick ankiel. yes, good for him, he came back from being a pitcher to be an outfielder. yay. that doesnt give you the right to pretend its ok to take HGH, fucker.
also, tony la russa can fucking die. in fact, fuck the entire city of saint louis. dusty baker too, but thats a justified hate.
i’d add wisconsin, but its been picked already. and yes, im an irrational chicago fan. i stand by my statements.
May 31st, 2008 at 4:31 am
john cusack
May 31st, 2008 at 9:23 am
Mike Myers
May 31st, 2008 at 11:09 am
Jeremy Shockey, Michael Strahan, and Eli Manning.
And I’m a die hard Giants fan. I just can’t stand all of those motherfuckers.
Shockey is a white version of TO, and suddenly he’s the most popular guy in New York. Fuck you for making us seem like Pats fans. Go to your fucking ring ceremony, you overrated cunt.
Strahan, I love you. But make up your fucking mind, you bitch.
Eli Manning talks like he has Down Syndrome. How the fuck did Corky lead us to the Promised Land? It’s just embarrassing having a leader who talks like a moron. Eli Manning is the George W. Bush of Quarterbacks.
May 31st, 2008 at 11:31 am
Descartes
Fuck him and his simple location. Melting wax doesn’t tell you shit about existence, it changed from a solid to a liquid dipshit. Get out of your medieval study and meet some people. Learn about human relations. AND STOP TRYING TO SEPARATE YOUR MIND FROM YOUR BODY!
May 31st, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I second the vote for Carie Underwood. I wish Jesus would take the wheel and beat her over the head with it.
May 31st, 2008 at 2:37 pm
joe theismann – i’ve got some deep seeded ire towards the man that i can’t explain, but in this case i’m referring strictly to his stint as a commentator. the guy couldn’t ooze more bitterness as he announced the giants games.
also along the lines of sports announcers:
ralph kiner – professional career aside, these days when he steps into the booth as a guest announcer it’s a big huh, what did he say? put on our tuxedos? i want some taquitos!
May 31st, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Parking checkers…..in every city…and their loved ones.
May 31st, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Tedy Bruschi.
I saw this fuckwad have a screaming fit into the camera (instead of answering the reporter’s question) at halftime of a playoff game about 5 years ago and have rooted for his early demise ever since.
Then the fucker went and had a stroke. At first I felt like I should feel bad for him, but instead I cracked open a beer and toasted to his future as a drooling vegetable. Unfortunately for the human race, he recovered. I still watch Pats game just hoping that each blow to the head will be his last.
Fuck that cocky cock-gobbling donkey fucker.
May 31st, 2008 at 3:57 pm
@ Westbrook…
HUGE +1 for Giada….I hate that bitch.
HUGE -1 for NJ though.
I’ll pick…Ann Coulter. Get run over by a steamroller, skag.
May 31st, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Jeez…this is what I get for having to work on Friday. Fack you very much KSK, FACK YOU IN THE EYES.
To next week’s draft…
June 1st, 2008 at 1:27 am
Stuart Scott, Fuck Him.
June 1st, 2008 at 3:26 am
the most unfunny human ever created: Carlos Mencia
June 1st, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Bob Seager. He sings too many songs about rock and roll.
June 1st, 2008 at 6:50 pm
drafts that never die
June 2nd, 2008 at 2:24 am
USHER. I saw his “performance” on SNL and I wanted to stab myself in the chest.
I’ll draft another one because this thread is dead anyways… not many people know him except people in Chicago but Mike Fontenot. He gets his share of hits and everything but I just hate his tiny guts.
June 2nd, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Sting
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:12 pm
I guess no one mentioned Jessica Simpson yet since it would be considered ‘rational’. I want to punch her in her retarded face.
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Here’s an irrational pick: I actually like Jim Rome (very irrational), yet whenever he refers to Boston Red Sox outfielder Manny Ramirez as “Man Ram”, I want beat him to death, slowly, with extreme brutally, with a tack hammer (very rational).
June 4th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
M. Night Shyamalan and the people that encourage him not to commit suicide.
He is not a genius with one decent movie.