Checking Dominic Rhodes’ voicemail




“Yo, this is Joe. Just heard you’re headed back to Naptown. Congratulations, man. We’re going to win another Super Bowl this year, man. But check this, I’m not a rookie like when you left. In fact, up in this bitch here, I am what you call an authority figure. Remember that corner couch at the complex– the one you used to be snoring on and shit between two-a-days? That’s my couch now. Keep your ass off. See how you like trying to sleep in a damn chair. Anyway, see you in a couple months and we will tear it up like the old days.

Oh yeah, and if you ever drink my grape Gatorade again, I’ll beat your ass. TOPPA THE FOOD CHAIN, MOTHERFUCKER!!!”


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19 Responses to “Checking Dominic Rhodes’ voicemail”

  1. Otto Man Says:

    If your name is “Dominic” but you pronounce it “Dominique,” you better damn well be ready to be made into someone’s bitch.

  2. shake n bake Says:

    Rhodes contract is 1 year for the veteran minimum. If he doesn’t play well in camp, he’ll be Kenton Keith and Mike Hart’s bitch as well. Or he’ll be cut.

  3. Unsilent Majority Says:

    I refuse to call him Dominique. Such bullshit.

  4. Lil Lebowski Urban Achievers Says:

    This guy was probably the most deserving of the Super Bowl MVP award, so Peyton, watch your own backside.

  5. Punch Rockgroin Says:

    Good job in Oakland.

    Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

  6. Naptown Drew Says:

    This is a stellar pickup as long as his knee doesn’t disintegrate. I think I just pissed myself.

  7. 5150 Says:

    Lil Lebowski

    Did you watch the Super Bowl, or do you just listen to ESPN? Rhodes did nothing but take advantage of the piss-pounding Addai gave the Bears defense. Rhodes is nothing more than a backup anymore, Addai has already surpassed him, although he’s a fuck-a-lot better than Kenton Keith.

  8. smurphette Says:

    I’m positively thrilled at the prospect of completing passes out of the backfield while Addai gets a breather. And I’ve never said his name “Dominique.” That is a girl’s name.

  9. Brodie Says:

    Somewhere Kenton Keith is in a parking lot shouting, I was a Colt, I was a Colt.

  10. Lil Lebowski Urban Achievers Says:

    @5150

  11. Lil Lebowski Urban Achievers Says:

    Fuck

    @5150 So who’d you give that MVP trophy too? Rex was probably most deserving, but but here’s the candidates…

    Manning 25/38, 247 yds, 1 TD, 1 INT
    Addai 19 carries, 77 yards, 10 rec 66yds, 1 botched handoff led to fumble
    Rhodes 21 carries, 113 yards, 1 rec 8 yards, 1 TD

    Manning was bound to get that sucker, but both Addai and Rhodes put up pretty equal, and very strong numbers. Either one was more deserving than Manning. Rhodes is the one that pounded the ball with 87 yards on 14 carries in the 2nd half.

    My family’s had season Colts tickets since ‘84, so STFU about what I know about the Colts. No one was talking about Addai deserving an MVP award after that game, but Rhodes was in the discussion.

    \horse dick joke.

  12. rant_casey Says:

    @Brodie
    Kenton Keith is coincidentally hired as a parking lot attendant.

  13. 5150 Says:

    You got served.

    /by Kenton Keith at McDonalds.

  14. I need to learn how to leave comments Says:

    5150…

    You got served.

    \by Kenton Keith at McDonalds.

  15. jackin'4beats Says:

    If anyone believes that Dominique or whatevah the fuck is name is these days, is getting the Colts another SB win this year, they have got to be smoking some really good shit.

    Everyone knows that the Ravens are going all the way this season…

    Fuck that. Just kidding. They suck too.

  16. Naptown Drew Says:

    If I’m going to live in Indiana I gotta take advantage of the agriculture, no?

  17. Naptown Drew Says:

    @j4b

    Goddammit Lebowski!

  18. MartinTheMerciless Says:

    The cops know who Dominic is.

  19. Mobag Says:

    i see that Addai has now somehow formed into a rich mans Avon Barksdale

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