
Well well well. Look who just got scraped off the track.
Listen here, bitch. You may think you’re somebody. You might think that your tragic end got some of us weepy up here. You might even think that just because you came in second that you might have a little more clout up here than Big B. Well guess what, you dirty little slut. I own this fucking town. Which means I own you. Let that percolate in your little horse brain for a minute.
Actually, It’s a good thing you showed up, because I’ve done nothing but jerk off into that long skinny tube for over a year. Oh, sure, I could bang some of the broads up here, but they don’t do it for me. I like athletes. And I’ve got a feeling that you’re gonna like me, too. Like me in your ass, that is.
First thing I’m gonna do is walk you over here and fuck the cocktease right out of you. You’ve never had a gluestick like mine. You think that jockey rode you into the ground? You have no idea. Now hold still. Lemme just get…ah, there we go. Oooh, damn. Baby, you’re so wet. I knew you wanted me. I could hear it in your neigh. You want my cock, bitch? Here we go. Oh, shit, you feel–Ohhh. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. OH SWEET MOTHER FUCKER!! AND DOWN THE STRETCH I COME!!!! AAAHHHHHH!!!!! OH GOD!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Oooohh, uuugghh. Whoa. Baby, I swear, I usually go a lot longer than that.


Where the fuck is PETA now? Clearly Barbaro should be denaounced and decried for using a unsanctioned Rape Stand. Where’s the justice for the innocent fillies?
/pass the construda
So Barbaro finally gets a fuck-buddy? Awesome.
However, it is disturbing because I heard on PTI the female horse expert say that Barbaro and Eight Belles were related. Horse sex is bad, but horse incest sex has to be even worse. Who knew this was so complicated? The possibilities are endless…
Fricking A, that was hot. Here’s to many more horse-rape posts with the ‘equine coitus in the afterlife’ tag.
Sounds like Horse Heaven is Belles’ Hell.
Of course, also because of ESPN, I’ll be thinking of Eight Belles a lot too. Which will make me think of this post, and the disturbing trend toward equine carnal knowledge on KSK.
Oh, great – thanks DougOLis, now I won’t be able to read this post or think of Barbaro w/o hearing Carl. Of course, I’ll be inadvertantly thinking of Barbaro a lot, because ESPN won’t let me forget.
Barbaro sounds suspiciously like Carl from ATHF
don’t be afraid to revisit your equine coitus in the afterlife tag in the future PUNTE.
also, isn’t this post implying eight belles is in horse hell?
Punte – you have outdone yourself my good man. That was sheer brilliance. This equine erotica series should last a lot longer than Big B.
A+ Punter, my friends at work and I are dying.
KSK: Come for the sexual frankenstein drafts, stay for the horse porn.
Counting down the entrance of Dee Mirich and her frumpy, cankle-laden housefraus in 5….4……3…..2…..
The only thing bad about this post is that I can’t read “Well well well” in any voice but Paul Bearer’s.
Did Bissinger ghost write this piece? And if he did, I want to congratulate him because its better than Friday Night Lights.
This whole post was just a vehicle for “AND DOWN THE STRETCH I COME!!!!” wasn’t it? Can I make a request that for the Preakness we get something similar for “Run for the Black-Eyed Susans”?
Well, I guess I don’t have to worry about lunch now
I live to serve. The overwhelming sense of nausea should subside by, oh, let’s say July.
Anybody else notice that two of the three topics during the second segment of PTI on Friday were “Bissinger” and “Horse Sex”?
If this pro football thing doesn’t work out, you people have a future in the fine world of equine erotica.
Hey, someone has to pleasure Shelley Duvall.
Well, I guess I don’t have to worry about lunch now
It’d take a horse to pleasure Shelley Duval.
/popeye
Horse porn. It’s come to Horse Porn.
Thank you Jesus.
@Brady, I think we might need a ruling from Double J. Unfortunately, most 3rd place finishers don’t leave that lasting of an impression. However, there is still the Preakness and Belmont.
So wrong yet so funny
i hate jerking off into that long skinny tube…
Hey, someone has to pleasure Shelley Duvall.
@UU Did Denis of Cork’s show finish make Wade into Denis of Pork or do we need a ruling from Double J?
If Buzz isn’t available, there’s a real chance that Chelokee may became available for some gay horse sex.
i hate jerking off into that long skinny tube…
this is without a questio my favorite horse sex blog.
Why isn’t this tagge
“Buzz Bissinger”?
/obvious
/hanging head in shame
Mr. Bissinger would like to excuse himself from the rest of the workday.
/sobs, holds up a candle in the wind with one hand while knitting a memorial sweater to Eight Belles with the other.
“You’ve never had a gluestick like mine.”
Wow.
Neigh means neigh, Barbaro!
This is not journalism!!!
Everyone knows Bissinger would be fucking Barbaro from behind during this whole episode. You left out crucial facts you unqualified hack!!!
NIGHTMARE FUEL… AHOY!
that was fucked up. funny, but fucked up. btw, thanks Brady’s a Douchebag for the tip on Denis of Cork.