Y’all Wanna Donate To Ah Soft-Bawl Teem?
What you’re seeing is a camera phone pic of the Carolina Thunder softball team soliciting outside of the Wal-Mart in Travelers Rest, South Carolina. From what I can tell, the team is made up of 12- and 13-year-old girls, which you would only find interesting if you happened to be a Japanese businessman or a lonely junior high school teacher.
I hope this team is good at softball, because their soliciting outside of a Wal-Mart on a rainy day DURING AN ECONOMIC DOWNTURN WHILE THESE SPOILED LITTLE BITCHES ARE WEARING CUSTOMIZED PULLOVERS WITH NUMBERS ON THE BACKS doesn’t strike me as a positive PR move.
If I could openly give these young ladies some advice, it would be this:
At least make some remotely uncalloused effort for my donation. I don’t care what you do. FUCKING BAKE SOMETHING, maybe. Don’t stand in front of a discount store and hold an empty bucket in front of me and expect me to fill it. My Diet Sam’s Choice Cola gets higher priority over your dipshit redneck fuckface parents trying to make you feel important. It’s best you realize your place in the world now, so that when you get married at 19 and have three kids before you turn 25, you don’t have delusions that you could have amounted to something with your sorry little Dixie dick-gobbling life.
You can fill that bucket with a handful of kiss my ass. Fuck your softball team and fuck you.
Tags: children are our future unless we stop them, I hate the South, MMP
April 19th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Wait, who said you couldn’t openly give those ladies that advice?
At least when they do this at my Wal-Mart it’s for that youth football team that was attacked by another kid’s dad during a game a few years ago. How can you not support that?
April 19th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Wake up on the angry side of life today?
April 19th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
YEAH COME GIT SUM WHYDYA HATE AMERRICA FLAG PIN ROCK IT HOOKWORM WOOO!!!
April 19th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
“It’s best you realize your place in the world now, so that when you get married at 19 and have three kids before you turn 25 that you don’t have delusions that you could have amounted to something with your sorry little Dixie dick-gobbling life.
You can fill that bucket with a handful of kiss my ass. Fuck your softball team and fuck you.”
A+++… I’m going to spend the rest of my weekend actively trying to find a softball team with its needy hands out so I can use those last two lines.
April 19th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
I think someone wants a customized pullover with “Punté” on the back
April 19th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Also, since when is Sage Rosenfels a contributor to KSK? I must’ve missed a lot with the transition over to uproxx
April 19th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
“It’s best you realize your place in the world now, so that when you get married at 19 and have three kids before you turn 25″
Um, if they’re actually any good at softball they almost certainly will end up being lesbians.
April 19th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Yeah, but did you say that to their faces?
April 19th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
@Unsilent: No, fuckhead. It’s a cautionary tale.
April 19th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
This post is seething with unabashed rage and a total disdain for a region and it’s populace. I love it.
“It’s best you realize your place in the world now, so that when you get married at 19 and have three kids before you turn 25″
This in fact describes not one, not two, but THREE of the waitresses I work with.
I hate the south too.
April 19th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
No, fuckhead. It’s a cautionary tale.
That’s up there with “We’re in the SPIRIT WORLD, asshole.”
April 19th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Truly inspired work, Punter. There’s an opening for someone of your talent (if you give it up) at WaPo (hope one of the little bitches you just hammered is a WaPo editor’s redneck granddaughter).
April 19th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Filling the bucket with Kiss My Ass is a good solution. I usually carry around a bowl of fuck just in case no one has the proper dish to carry such a volatile substance.
April 19th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
“My Diet Sam’s Choice Cola gets higher priority over your dipshit redneck fuckface parents trying to make you feel important.”
What’s wrong? Were they out of RC?
April 19th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
@BurritoBrosShits:
didn’t you see the “I hate the South” tag? All Southerners wash down their Moon Pies and boiled peanuts with RC. It’s a law down here. Then again, Southern cuisine includes fried okra, bourbon, and scratch biscuits, so it ain’t all bad.
April 19th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Always to good to make fun of people (in this case, kids) who can’t defend themselves. Let’s see, the list of people/teams (politicians?) who need to be brought down a few notches must have run out to spew the hate on these girls. Maybe you could check to see how much those pullovers cost? (not much, actually). Wouldn’t want to support girls sports, no way. What’s sadder, those girls outside in the rain trying to raise some money, or you the loser who actually shops at Wal-mart? I would guess you.
April 19th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Please Hammer, don’t hurt Punté.
April 19th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
@slothrop - fried okra knocks Southern cuisine down a couple pegs on my list, but the rest of it’s damn good (hankering for grits right now.)
MMP clearly had the recommended amount of Jack Daniels with his cereal today. I applaud.
April 19th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
MMP - Maybe you shouldn’t be trolling around TR you devildog. My advice to you, move out of the sticks.
April 19th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
@Hammer
Sorry we can’t all fucking shop at Neiman-Marcus!
April 19th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Punter always gets mad when chicks like that don’t give up the digits.
April 19th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
“Then again, Southern cuisine includes fried okra, bourbon, and scratch biscuits, so it ain’t all bad.”
I love the south.
April 19th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
In Alabama, she’d be married at 16… so her twins could have a daddy.
April 19th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
At least they were at a Wal-mart. I saw a PTA with kids at an intersection the other day doing the exact same thing. Nothing like training our “future” for a life of begging.
April 20th, 2008 at 1:39 am
Take a pill, already.
April 20th, 2008 at 1:49 am
lol satire people
April 20th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
MMBs has a point there. Punter should have headed down to Pickens…..I hear they had a pretty cool carnival thingy down there yesterday.
April 20th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Holy crap, MMP. Do you actually LIVE in Traveler’s Rest? That’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard.
April 20th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
I thought this was spot on.
April 20th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
RE Signal to Noise Says:
“Fried okra knocks Southern cuisine down a couple pegs on my list, but the rest of it’s damn good (hankering for grits right now.”
Fried okra rules. And “children are our future unless we stop them” is now my favorite tag.
April 20th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
It could be worse, Kevin…..he could live in Inman or Pacolet.
*shudder*
April 21st, 2008 at 8:49 am
Why are those kids white?
/confused
April 21st, 2008 at 9:42 am
Why is that Wal-Mart green?
/confused
June 20th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Southern Cuisine…. This is why I see women half my age with an ass that’s five feet wide. I have never been any place that 20 year olds have beer guts! Half the people i have met in Georgia have either heart disease or diabetes. the food here will kill you!
July 30th, 2008 at 10:34 am
Just serfed in. Great site, guys!w