Y’all Wanna Donate To Ah Soft-Bawl Teem?
What you’re seeing is a camera phone pic of the Carolina Thunder softball team soliciting outside of the Wal-Mart in Travelers Rest, South Carolina. From what I can tell, the team is made up of 12- and 13-year-old girls, which you would only find interesting if you happened to be a Japanese businessman or a lonely junior high school teacher.
I hope this team is good at softball, because their soliciting outside of a Wal-Mart on a rainy day DURING AN ECONOMIC DOWNTURN WHILE THESE SPOILED LITTLE BITCHES ARE WEARING CUSTOMIZED PULLOVERS WITH NUMBERS ON THE BACKS doesn’t strike me as a positive PR move.
If I could openly give these young ladies some advice, it would be this:
At least make some remotely uncalloused effort for my donation. I don’t care what you do. FUCKING BAKE SOMETHING, maybe. Don’t stand in front of a discount store and hold an empty bucket in front of me and expect me to fill it. My Diet Sam’s Choice Cola gets higher priority over your dipshit redneck fuckface parents trying to make you feel important. It’s best you realize your place in the world now, so that when you get married at 19 and have three kids before you turn 25, you don’t have delusions that you could have amounted to something with your sorry little Dixie dick-gobbling life.
You can fill that bucket with a handful of kiss my ass. Fuck your softball team and fuck you.
Tags: children are our future unless we stop them, I hate the South, MMP
April 19th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Wait, who said you couldn’t openly give those ladies that advice?
At least when they do this at my Wal-Mart it’s for that youth football team that was attacked by another kid’s dad during a game a few years ago. How can you not support that?
April 19th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Wake up on the angry side of life today?
April 19th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
YEAH COME GIT SUM WHYDYA HATE AMERRICA FLAG PIN ROCK IT HOOKWORM WOOO!!!
April 19th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
“It’s best you realize your place in the world now, so that when you get married at 19 and have three kids before you turn 25 that you don’t have delusions that you could have amounted to something with your sorry little Dixie dick-gobbling life.
You can fill that bucket with a handful of kiss my ass. Fuck your softball team and fuck you.”
A+++… I’m going to spend the rest of my weekend actively trying to find a softball team with its needy hands out so I can use those last two lines.
April 19th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
I think someone wants a customized pullover with “Punté” on the back
April 19th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Also, since when is Sage Rosenfels a contributor to KSK? I must’ve missed a lot with the transition over to uproxx
April 19th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
“It’s best you realize your place in the world now, so that when you get married at 19 and have three kids before you turn 25″
Um, if they’re actually any good at softball they almost certainly will end up being lesbians.
April 19th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Yeah, but did you say that to their faces?
April 19th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
@Unsilent: No, fuckhead. It’s a cautionary tale.
April 19th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
This post is seething with unabashed rage and a total disdain for a region and it’s populace. I love it.
“It’s best you realize your place in the world now, so that when you get married at 19 and have three kids before you turn 25″
This in fact describes not one, not two, but THREE of the waitresses I work with.
I hate the south too.
April 19th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
No, fuckhead. It’s a cautionary tale.
That’s up there with “We’re in the SPIRIT WORLD, asshole.”
April 19th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Truly inspired work, Punter. There’s an opening for someone of your talent (if you give it up) at WaPo (hope one of the little bitches you just hammered is a WaPo editor’s redneck granddaughter).
April 19th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Filling the bucket with Kiss My Ass is a good solution. I usually carry around a bowl of fuck just in case no one has the proper dish to carry such a volatile substance.
April 19th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
“My Diet Sam’s Choice Cola gets higher priority over your dipshit redneck fuckface parents trying to make you feel important.”
What’s wrong? Were they out of RC?
April 19th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
@BurritoBrosShits:
didn’t you see the “I hate the South” tag? All Southerners wash down their Moon Pies and boiled peanuts with RC. It’s a law down here. Then again, Southern cuisine includes fried okra, bourbon, and scratch biscuits, so it ain’t all bad.
April 19th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Always to good to make fun of people (in this case, kids) who can’t defend themselves. Let’s see, the list of people/teams (politicians?) who need to be brought down a few notches must have run out to spew the hate on these girls. Maybe you could check to see how much those pullovers cost? (not much, actually). Wouldn’t want to support girls sports, no way. What’s sadder, those girls outside in the rain trying to raise some money, or you the loser who actually shops at Wal-mart? I would guess you.
April 19th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Please Hammer, don’t hurt Punté.
April 19th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
@slothrop – fried okra knocks Southern cuisine down a couple pegs on my list, but the rest of it’s damn good (hankering for grits right now.)
MMP clearly had the recommended amount of Jack Daniels with his cereal today. I applaud.
April 19th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
MMP – Maybe you shouldn’t be trolling around TR you devildog. My advice to you, move out of the sticks.
April 19th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
@Hammer
Sorry we can’t all fucking shop at Neiman-Marcus!
April 19th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Punter always gets mad when chicks like that don’t give up the digits.
April 19th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
“Then again, Southern cuisine includes fried okra, bourbon, and scratch biscuits, so it ain’t all bad.”
I love the south.
April 19th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
In Alabama, she’d be married at 16… so her twins could have a daddy.
April 19th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
At least they were at a Wal-mart. I saw a PTA with kids at an intersection the other day doing the exact same thing. Nothing like training our “future” for a life of begging.
April 20th, 2008 at 1:39 am
Take a pill, already.
April 20th, 2008 at 1:49 am
lol satire people
April 20th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
MMBs has a point there. Punter should have headed down to Pickens…..I hear they had a pretty cool carnival thingy down there yesterday.
April 20th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Holy crap, MMP. Do you actually LIVE in Traveler’s Rest? That’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard.
April 20th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
I thought this was spot on.
April 20th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
RE Signal to Noise Says:
“Fried okra knocks Southern cuisine down a couple pegs on my list, but the rest of it’s damn good (hankering for grits right now.”
Fried okra rules. And “children are our future unless we stop them” is now my favorite tag.
April 20th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
It could be worse, Kevin…..he could live in Inman or Pacolet.
*shudder*
April 21st, 2008 at 8:49 am
Why are those kids white?
/confused
April 21st, 2008 at 9:42 am
Why is that Wal-Mart green?
/confused
June 20th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Southern Cuisine…. This is why I see women half my age with an ass that’s five feet wide. I have never been any place that 20 year olds have beer guts! Half the people i have met in Georgia have either heart disease or diabetes. the food here will kill you!
July 30th, 2008 at 10:34 am
Just serfed in. Great site, guys!w
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:49 am
made professionally. So to holdp
October 10th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
haha. i think that it is pretty funny that you think that of us! i am on the carolina thunder and thanks for your opinion which we didn’t need. and we were out there fo a reason and that reason was to get money to go to WORLD SERIES for softball. thank you.
October 11th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
and b/c world series was a week i dont think our parents want to pay $400 on top of the $800 they are paying already. so how about not posting a blog b/c it makes you look really dumb b/c you have no clue what your talking about. and no life since you went a took a picture of us and are writing some blog about us that isn’t even true!
November 1st, 2008 at 7:53 pm
i love this site.e
March 9th, 2009 at 11:46 am
All I have to say is wow…. man you must be really immature to post this on here… really sad too, for the fact that these girls are trying raise money for their team. They may have worn those jackets, I agree bad move… but maybe there is the fact that they were trying to look “professional” in trying to raise their money instead of wearing rags, so to speak. It’s not like you had to donate anything to be honest you had a choice and you apparently didn’t donate so…. what are bitching about? And you have no idea what these kinds of teams go through to raise money… and you have no life, to waste time and write about something that you have no clue about…. and if all these other people can’t see that…. damn your stupid. GO GET A LIFE…. BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE ONE. I have seen more than you can imagine, you don’t know how they got their jackets…. you don’t know if these girls are spoiled… and you don’t know anything about the south. Go do everyone a favor…. and keep your mouth shut.
May 20th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
As the parent of two of those girls, I gotts say–”Way to go, dumbass…”. So, what, you don’t agree with these girls doing some fund-raising to offset the cost of playing, outfitting, travelling, entry fees, etc? Then just offer a polite “No thank you” and then go away. I was there for last year and this year fundraising efforts and the girls, each and every one, are being polite and friendly. To reciprocate with your attitude only makes you look bad. And, yes, the jackets are paid for by the team and parents, and the idea is to not have the girls out there wearing grungy sweats and ratty t-shirts. Looking like a team and having a little pride in how you look never hurt anyone.
The weather is unavoidable, and as per WalMart’s rules, you must have made arrangements well in advance to get approved to solicit in the parking lot. I applaud the team for making the girls ‘earn’ some of the money the team needs through the year. These girls are neither ’spoiled’ nor ‘bitches’, so just lay off.
If you were to walk up to any of these girls and actually voice the stupid comments like you so cowardly posted here, then I can only say that I hope that I’m not around to hear it. And before you go off all half-cocked, how would you take it if you were out raising money for a good cause and some idiot like you came along and spouted off such ignorance–you’d be pissed and probably come out swinging…