MOMMY, WOW, I’M BECOMING A MAN NOW!
OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD, I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M ACTUALLY MARRIED!
HEY MOM, CAN YOU WRITE “MR. ELI MANNING-McGREW” ON ALL OF MY NEW UNDERPANTS?! WHAT AM I SAYING, I’M MARRIED NOW! MAKE IT MRS. ELI MANNING-McGREW!
[sucks inhaler]
HEY MOM, DID YOU FINISH PACKING MY SUITCASE FOR THE HONEYMOON?!
[opens suitcase]
WHAT THE HECK, MA? YOU PACKED THIS ALL WRONG!
[unpacks item]
I’M NOT A BABY!
[unpacks item]
JEEZ MOM, WHY WOULD I WANT TO READ ON VACATION? HONEYMOONS ARE FOR TWO THING, PLAYING DRESS-UP AND EATING S’MORES!
[packs items]
[packs imaginary item]
THIS TRIP IS GONNA RULE!
[sips from sippy cup]
Stay tuned for dispatches from the honeymoon later in the week.
Tags: Eli Manning, elisha, Mommy Wow, Unsilent Majority
![[badge]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/themes/default/images/100121_FOXmsnBadge_200x50.gif)
April 22nd, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Archie told Eli that on his wedding night he needs to put the biggest thing he owns where she pees, so he put his shoes in the toilet.
/old and very bad joke
April 22nd, 2008 at 1:18 pm
MOISHE FTW!!1!
April 22nd, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Is it true that they’re staying in Cinderella’s Castle at Disney World for the honeymoon?
April 22nd, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Man, how times flies…was it really just 3 short years ago that Eli was still wearing pull-up diapers and sucking on a pacifier while playing QB? They grow up so fast.
April 22nd, 2008 at 1:42 pm
At least we don’t have to worry about him fumbling the wedding ring handoff from the best man…
/looking at you Rex Grossman
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Eli owns that shit just like he owned the Patriots. Off Topic: sorry the Bruins lost Boston….not that I give a shit about hockey, but anytime the so called “BAWHSTON 2008 Dynasty” takes another hit, I am happy. Now if only the Hawks could beat the Celtics….
This haterade tastes great!
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Now THAT is going to be some awkward sex.
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:37 pm
David Tyree says she gives great helmut.
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Unstoppable. Eli Manning is. With his Trojan Extended Pleasure condoms, Eli can last and last and last…even if it’s his first time with a woman.
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:50 pm
S’mores, eh? You’re killing me, Smalls.
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Don’t worry Eli, sex is easy. You just slap her titties around a bit, then stick your weiner inside her and pee.
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Mommy, mommy… Can you watch and let me know if I’m doing it right? Now I’m supposed to stick it where? Ewwww Yucky!!!
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:07 pm
whoa whoa whoa, that s’mores was not properly made, that mallow needed to be roasted and flaming before put on the chocolate, i don’t see near enough burned mallow
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Spidey Arm Floaties and the Kama Sutra!
When did you raid my closet?
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Let’s not not get too quick on mocking the Hannah Montana wig. I wouldn’t mind if my wife worked that in her repertoire. What? Don’t judge me.
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Alright, all you motherfuckers stole my Casper avatar and now I’m pissed.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:02 pm
i wonder what pillsbury throwboy’s wife, or woman who is dating him just for the 3rd string qb spotlight, looks like….
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Looks like good news for Ufford – nfl.com is saying that the Seahawks just released Alexander.
April 23rd, 2008 at 11:29 am
With no offense towards Eli, it looks like his wife may have beat him to manhood.