Immortalizing ApeGate The Best Way We Know How
Even though some of the commentary about Mike coming out of the blogger closet is reaching some pretty incredible levels of interest, coverage, and commenter rage, this asshole would argue that the attention is well-deserved. Not everyone will understand this.
Excuse me for pointing out one more time that we’ve been hearing the same shit from everyone for some time. Bloggers are just incompetent fools in our parents’ basements. Bloggers face no accountability. Bloggers aren’t really journalists. And granted, one or more of those purported axioms may be true in a given instance. Here, they were certainly not.
Which is why Mike’s firing strikes me as so…I don’t even have a word for it. I mean, he owns a condo! He had a career working for one of the largest newspapers in the world. He was a fucking journalist! For the Washington Post! Motherfucker was behind enemy lines the whole time, knowing that, as all bloggers (and commenters) know, that discovery would almost certainly lead to termination.
It’s already been pointed out that Mike probably knew the futility of attempting to converge his two writing lives, though no one can seem to give a good reason why. The Post is now telling people that he resigned, which is interesting, given that he was escorted out by security. This event and the subsequent fallout are nothing short of amazing, really. And inspiring.
So inspiring, in fact, that we’re commemorating the event with a special set of KSK garmentry in Mr. Tunison’s honor.
The Christmas Ape tee comes in men’s and women’s cuts. We’ve also included a special cami, just for fun. And if you’re not down with the whole Steeler-inspired motif, you can change the color of the shirt before ordering (our advice: stick to the dark colors).
We don’t always salute our own. Today, we do. As The Maj would say, Mazal Tov, Mr. Ape.
Tags: His Name Is Michael Tunison His Name Is Michael Tunison, MMP, that's one handsome shirt
April 17th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
shilt get five smirres
April 17th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
i’d also like to suggest a shirt commemorating jean grey’s upcoming struggle to be fed.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Iget it…in death, members of KSK are given a name.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
OH CHIRSTMAS APE MY CHRISTMAS APE!
/trying not to have a mancrush
April 17th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Michael Tunison is dead; but given the way of men, there may still be blogs for thousands of years in which his shadow will be shown.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Not ashamed at all to say I bought one. Will wear it with pride as well.
/Doesn’t hurt that I’m a huge Steelers fan.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Can’t I get it with Tommy fahkin Brady’s numbah 12 or Wes fahkin Welkah’s 83 on it? That is so fahkin stoopid.
/seriously Mike, good luck. Weekend duty at Deadspin pays well right?
April 17th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
“86″ seems like an oddly appropriate number considering what happened to Mr. Tunison.
This soapbox derby queen is brimming with tears.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
have the rights to this story been sold to the lifetime movie network yet?
April 17th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
I move that the next mock draft be for Ape’s next job.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
I am Ape’s complete lack of surprise
April 17th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Be well, my newest simian hero (fuck you, Bear from BJ & the Bear). Perhaps you could get a job with the Washington Star?
/Haven’t lived in DC in quite some time
April 17th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
PS if no one has pointed out that the Steerels might be in need of a new Steely McBeam, allow me to be the first.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
PPS Fine, Miles O’Toole beat me to the Steely joke. Maybe if I hurry I can be the first writer to profile Tom Cruise and call the story Cruise Control. I’m sure the Wa Post will be interested.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
I had no idea the Steinberg message board would blow up like that.
Awesome.
“In death we all have a name, his name is Michael Tunison, his name is Michael Tunison…”
April 17th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Importantly, we’ll still have “DC Steeler Nation” won’t we?
April 17th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Is it time for someone to point out that Ape had to know this would happen? Way to grab some pub and kick old media when it’s down. Subtle.
/waiting for the backlash backlash
April 17th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
I second the mock draft motion.
But seriously, this is an Epic Win for Ape. Now if only he had been booted for something sexier than blogging. Like still for blogging, but from on the beach with Gisele giving him a neck rub.
Or Hines Ward, whichever.
April 17th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
“wrongful termination”
Look into it.
April 17th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Has Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton contacted you yet?
Fight the power
April 17th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I am Spartacus!
I mean, I am Christmas Ape!
April 17th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
To quote Maj’s Blogtron Saint:
They better be careful or they’ll end up with their Ape-tit in a wringer.
April 17th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
@Post Apocalyptic–appreciate this on a civil disobedience tip. Knowing the consequences in advance doesn’t make the consequences not bullshit.
Gandhi. King. Ape.
April 17th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Who’s gonna buy this shirt? According to Deadspin:
Christmas Ape has no friends.
/link
April 17th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
//better link
April 17th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Demon Dawg: So money wit dat. Right on!
Props,
Pacman
April 17th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Ape’s a good writer and a funny one. But selling shirts with his name on it? Ok. If you but those shirts, you’re seriously a fag. Not kind of one, you are one. Confirmed, male or female. Jesus people. Get away from the technology and get a life for a moment.
April 17th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Isn’t it possible Ape planned this whole thing in a genius bid for self-promotion? He knew he was violating the rules. Post editor says newspaper’s policy required him to get approval from bosses before doing outside work. Here’s the link:
http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003790987
April 17th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
[...] Tunison has already found another source of income: He’s selling T-shirts referencing his firing. [...]
April 17th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Thank you, AG. This is an awfully transparent way to get some ink for a planned job change.
Is the crying for Ape over yet? Tito, get me some tissues.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Christmas Ape = the blogosphere’s first martyr.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
“Motherfucker was behind enemy lines the whole time, knowing that, as all bloggers (and commenters) know, that discovery would almost certainly lead to termination.”
Way to cockblock Ape’s wrongful termination claim. Might not want to suggest he knew he could be fired for what he was doing.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
@mclea: Or, like, the hundredth. New to the internet?
April 17th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Well I can’t remember anyone caring about anybody else, but…eat a fucking dick mrlo.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
If you blog-addicted sheep can’t see this as the KSK publicity stunt that it is, well, then there’s no hope for you. This is the “War of the Worlds” of blog publicity stunts.
Guess what? Tunison wanted to get fired (he admitted that he would when he outed himself), and did so to attract attention to KSK, which now has to turn a profit, just like the big-boy media outlets.
I admire KSK for pulling this off. My admiration for all you idiots who fell for it, though, could not be lower.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Oh, One Whose Eyes Are Open, teach us your ways! You, who are so wise, are the only one who can save us!
You’re right, but who cares? It doesn’t make WaPo’s decision any less bullshitty. (Yeah, my word. Don’t use it!)
And Ape, I recommend Intensive Care lotion for unemployment mastu-sessions. It lubes and hydrates at the same time, preventing most chaffing.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:33 pm
So you admit Tunison baited the Post into firing him, if only to drive traffic to this blog, but the Post is “bullshitty” for firing him?
Yeah, that makes sense.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
Why would the Post want to have someone on its staff who is known for terribly racist ethnic jokes that went out in the 1950s. Perhaps if you apologize like Krusty on the Simpsons–ME SO SOLLY–they’ll take you back.
Sorry, Ape, you get no sympathy from me. I wish you the best, but you made a really dumb move. Have fun with the rest of your life.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
I would be happy to purchase one of those t-shirts, but if it is going to have #86 on it, really…shouldn’t it say “Chlistmas Ape”?
/refuses to wear Steeler colors, ever
//heh heh, “Chlistmas” sounds like “clit”
April 18th, 2008 at 12:00 am
@One Whose Eyes Are Open
My God, you’re a genius. You figured out Ape’s nefarious plot to get fired. Now he can devote his entire energies to his evil plan to take over the world. MWHAHAHA
Wait a minute … is this Marmalard?!
April 18th, 2008 at 12:07 am
@Spatula
For the sake of everyone else, let me translate Spatula’s post:
“BAAAAAAAA.” [sounds of slurping the KSK crew.] “BAAAAAAA.”
If you actually read my post, instead of merely following along like the rest of the sheep commenters here, I commended Tunison and KSK on their traffic-driving plan. It was far from nefarious.
April 18th, 2008 at 12:58 am
Wow, I had 24 hours in the Ape Backlash Pool. Looks as if I’m close to winning.
I have 48 hours in the Everyone Forgets About This Pool.
April 18th, 2008 at 1:09 am
Is there some way for the NFL to steal the Stanley Cup and use it for the champs? But leave all the previous hockey names on it, that would be kickass.
April 18th, 2008 at 2:02 am
Well the theory that this whole fiasco is a grand publicity stunt has crossed my mind due to the fact that there was a change-over to a different URL, though I would hope that a site which has offered a shared sense of community would not be acting in such a manner.
Even if they were the act actually does nothing to infringe upon the sensibilities of the average reader of KSK and the charade would actually serves to expand the experience of the readership of the site. If the KSK staff were making enough revenue at this site to allow for a more free time, the quality and frequency of the pieces would reasonably increase. Furthermore, given the expanded traffic to the website, there is more opportunity for the individual commenter to feel connected to the larger KSK community. That notion of course would be contingent upon the lack of destructive forces that attempt to discredit the sites credibility. But on the other hand, the publicity from the criticism would still serve the KSK.
I put far too much thought into that.
April 18th, 2008 at 8:28 am
I need a tall. GIVE US TALL SIZES!
Up the Ape.
April 18th, 2008 at 8:41 am
To answer your question: No, not a publicity stunt. The change to a different address was a function of us getting a paid deal, which is why I choose to out myself in the blog. I figured that if we’re getting paid to take shots at other writers (Simmons, Peter King, etc.) it was only right to have my identity out there and not hiding behind a blogger name. The spirit of full disclosure was something The Post was supposed to respect. I guess not.
/dick joke
April 18th, 2008 at 9:33 am
@Gern: No fuckin’ way. The best trophy in sports belongs to the best sport. Keep your lame ass silver football. Stupid sport anyway.
April 18th, 2008 at 10:00 am
Hey, know what’s worse than people indignant over the firing of someone over their hobby?
Answer: People indignant over people who are indignant over the firing of someone over their hobby!
Congratulations to One Whose Eyes Are Open, Lamey Lamerson, etc.: You’re douchebags!
April 18th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Ape’s real plan is to buy the Steelers, collect some of Hines Ward’s DNA (I don’t want to know how), and clone a horde of super Korean-African-American football players to dominate the NFL for generations to come. Nah, that’s too obvious.
April 19th, 2008 at 1:58 am
Just wanted to add that Unsilent Majority has a fat fat face.
April 19th, 2008 at 2:44 am
Rocco, the best sport being hockey? Yeah, that sport is an up and comer. Getting more popular every day. They need to move it back to Canada where it belongs, and take Wayne Gretzky with you. The NFL should buy the cup and use it from now on.