KSK’s Kode of Konduct: Replica Jerseys
The first in an occasional series on how not to be “That Guy”.
There is a tacit yet rigid code that underlies the behavior of NFL fans. Some of these rules, like never switching team allegiances, are sacrosanct, others are open for debate. While we at the Gay Mafia aren’t always in the right on all of them, we’ll be glad to shrilly debate any that require clarification.
The first query comes from Jason Woodmansee, who you may remember from such blogs as The Coach is Killing Me! and Stop Shuler. He said he’s been sitting on this one for a few months and needed a ruling.
The basic question is: when is it OK to wear your replica team jersey? I’m not looking for a real world appropriateness, like if you should wear your Hines Ward jersey to The Palm, but football situations. On Super Bowl Sunday, I went to the grocery store here in San Diego to pick up some extra beer (Anchor Steam, in fact), and saw a guy wearing a Tomlinson jersey. Then another. And a guy in a Rivers jersey (the door did not fly open). And a guy in a Merriman jersey (not actually Merriman — although I did find out when his car got torched that he lives in my neighborhood). I wanted to go up to these guys and politely inform them that, if they weren’t already aware, the Chargers had actually lost to the Patriots — they wouldn’t be playing today.
So I go home, tell my wife there there are moron Chargers fans wearing jerseys on a day that their team isn’t playing, when our guests for the game arrive. I open the door, and there is our friend, the rabid (is there any other kind? I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who has said, “you know, I kinda like the Steelers, but it isn’t a big deal”) Steelers fan, in his Roethlisberger jersey. I burst out laughing, just because I was making fun of confused Chargers fans, and actually did say, “Um, you do know that they lost to the Jags a couple of weeks ago, right?” He basically took the Puddy defense: “You gotta support the team.”
So, is wearing your team’s jersey to watch a game where they are not playing lame, or is it showing your true fanhood? Is it OK for the Super Bowl because it is the last game of the football season, and your last chance to do it for a while?
KSK is not of one mind on this matter. flubby considers any ownership of replica jerseys kind of ridiculous on its face. I own two of them – the home Hines Ward replica that I use to take pictures with giant parrots and get fired from my job and a gray Roethlisberger jersey that the team never wears but I don when they play on the road.
A few weeks ago, there was the well-circulated story about the fast food joint-employed Seahawks fan who spit in the Steelers fan’s burger two years after the cooked-up controversy (I’ll never bend!) that was Super Bowl XL. One underreported aspect of the story was that the Steelers fan came into the place wearing Steelers apparel. In March. In Seattle.
Here is where further description is needed. What constitutes apparel? Was this a hat? A jersey? One giant Terrible Towel wrapped around his midsection? It’s an important distinction. Because wearing a jersey on almost any occasion that doesn’t include a day that your favorite team is playing is a nisht-nisht. Sure, the draft would be okay. I know there are those late fucking summer days when the meaninglessness of the pre-season makes me want to dip in the well of possible atrocities and I want to put on a jersey to remind myself that the season is coming, sometime.
But sporting the jersey during playoff games when your team has already been eliminated is among the worst infractions. It’s like clinging to a dead ideology. It’s akin to keeping Kerry bumper stickers on your car or wearing Nazi paraphernalia (Unless you’re Punter, then it’s cool). Yeah, we know you’re a racist, but the Third Reich is done, buddy.
Readers with other fan decorum related queries can e-mail them our way via the e-mail on the sidebar.
Tags: ksk's kode of konduct, xmas ape
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April 25th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
The question is moot!
All replica jerseys are lame, regardless of the circumstances or setting. Even if you’re in the stands watching that team play, it’s still lame. The coach isn’t going to see you in the stands and sub you in on third down, champ, no matter how much you dress like one of his players.
Hats, T-shirts, sweatshirts — and for my favorite Giants fan Carl, even Zubaz pants! — are all perfectly acceptable ways to support the team.
But playing dress-up is pathetic. You’re one step away from wearing a red cape and pretending to be Superman.
April 25th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Jerseys do make me feel funny. Kinda the same way that I felt funny when my uncle used to touch me.
However, I must take umbarage with the idea that a fan can never forsake a team allegiance. I agree with the comment in principle, but would suggest a clause that indicates that a separation is valid for certain long suffering fan bases. After all, Lions fans have endured enough without having to be welded to that particular ball and chain forever.
April 25th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
If you are older than the person whose jersey you are wearing, you need to take off the jersey.
April 25th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
what about wearing a Terry Bradshaw throw back from la/tech..while watching fox?
i will respect your ruling, Mr. Ape
April 25th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Roethlisberger is five months older than me! I’m in the clear!
April 25th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
The rules are many, and some of them include:
-Only wear your jersey on days that your team is playing
-Do not EVER wear a jersey to the stadium of a team that isn’t playing in that game
-Do not wear replica jerseys of players that have been traded, or are currently playing for another team
-Do not buy shitty replica throwbacks. If you’re going to wear a Sonny Jurgenson Redskins jersey, it had better be the design that Jurgenson wore when he played…not a 2008 jersey with his name on the back.
-Do not EVER, EVER wear a jersey over a buttondown or collared shirt.
-Do not EVER, EVER put your own last name on the back of a jersey
-The list of banned custom names that the NFL prevents from going on the back of a fan’s jersey is hilarious. And on that list “Assblaster” is (by far) the funniest.
April 25th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
How about you wear what you want, and I’ll wear what I want? Then no ruling is needed.
I love my Texans, and I always wear my jersey into enemy territory when watching football. Now, I don’t wear it when they aren’t playing, but I certainly don’t care if someone else does
April 25th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Bills fans might be a close second to steelers fans when it comes to this subject. If you go to a dive bar the night before a bills game on a saturday night, half of the people in there will be wearing bills jerseys. I don’t know if these people have separate game day jerseys or if the just sleep in their jerseys and wear them until the game starts, but neither would suprise me. Also, bills jerseys during playoff time (eventhough we’re never there any more) are a common occurance.
April 25th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
I had briefly considered wearing my Laveurneus Coles replica to a Super Bowl party this year. I decided against it because I knew that if I wore it, the Pats would go 19-0. You’re all welcome.
April 25th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
But, the bigger question is: Can you wear your Saints jersey/hat/t-shirt to a Hornets playoff game?
/seen it done
April 25th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
I am surrounded by Steelers fans 24/7 and they are by far the worst offenders, so I feel pretty comfortable with these rules:
- NO jersey if your team isn’t playing in the game
- NO jerseys at all except on gameday
- If your guy is playing for another team, burn the jersey, buy a new one – Joey Porter was a dick when he played for you, by now you should realize it. And Rod Woodson left 10 years ago. (One-year exception for a guy who retires – so Green Bay, this year I’ll hate you for a different reason)
- NEVER (EVER!) buy the cheapo knockoffs. I’m not saying you need the sewn-on numbers and double tackle twill, but if you paid 20 bucks for it, it’s not a fucking jersey, jackass.
- If the numbers have worn almost completely off, buy a new one – you’ve gotten your money’s worth
- Putting your own name on a jersey should be punishable by death. And if you put a nickname on it, a bear should rape your corpse.
April 25th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
@ TurkeyGirlie: Yet ANOTHER reason I hate so many Steelers fans. Just because all the teams here wear black and gold doesn’t mean you wear a Bettis jersey to a Pirates game. DISALLOWED.
April 25th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Turley:
This is an odd one. “LOOK AT ME, I’M ALSO A BASEBALL FAN!!!!”
I get the impression that these people simply wear nothing but jerseys all the time, and it’s not a conscious decision.
April 25th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
@PrehistoricMartyball
-Do not wear replica jerseys of players that have been traded, or are currently playing for another team
…or are shitty (Rex Grossman)
April 25th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
I only wear jersey’s of washed up athletes who go on their retirement tour with a new team, al la Franco Harris Seahawks jersey or Merrill Hodge Bears jersey.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Oh, great, KSK is outdouching Deadspin when it comes to making holier than thou judgments that have no bearing on much of anything. Should be a fun year. Don’t let upcocks.com go to your head.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
When I was 11 I wore an Elway jersey to the Vet. The Broncos got smoked and fans called me Smelway all the way to the car.
When I got my Steve Atwater jersey, I didn’t put a name on it. Fans know who the player is. You don’t need any name on the jersey, especially your own. If you put your own, the jersey should be lit on fire, with you still wearing it.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
@ rusrus – shitty or not, if they have a cool nickname, then an exception to the rule may be put into play – afterall Grossman is the Sex Cannon – Now if it was Orton, then we’d have to call a foul – unless the wearer is holding a bottle of JD and has a neck beard.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I usually supplant the no jersey rule during playoff times by wearing a hat or a t-shirt or (this year) a beer huggie. This way, you are still supporting your team but you don’t look and feel like a total schmo.
Curious what you think of baseball. I live in LA, but I’m a Reds fan, and refuse to wear anything but a Reds cap to a Dodgers game, regardless of if the Reds are playing are not. Is this simple and pure douchebaggery (as my wife claims), or a noble attempt at preserving the sanctity of team loyalty (my claim)?
April 25th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Exception: It is OK to wear jerseys of your team’s HOF players whenever the hell you want as long as the function is NFL-related. And if someone wants to tell you otherwise, it is OK to rip their nuts off.
I’ll never burn my Emmitt Smith jersey.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
“It’s akin to keeping Kerry bumper stickers on your car or wearing Nazi paraphernalia (Unless you’re Punter, then it’s cool). Yeah, we know you’re a racist, but the Third Reich is done, buddy.”
I’m at WL for five hours and suddenly I’m David Duke? What the fook?
April 25th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Did Bill Simmons start writing for KSK?
April 25th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
These rules are BS. You should be able to wear your jersey whenever you damn well feel like it. They cost enough.
The only time it’s not OK is for formal occasions.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
@Dan From Chicago
Unless the jersey says “Sex Cannon,” a Grossman jersey will make you look like a douchebag. Especially if you’re XXL like me. A QB jersey casing will only hold so much kielbasa, know what I’m sayin’?
April 25th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Ich glaube, Herr Ape, dass est “Nicht-Nicht,” und nicht “nisht-nisht,’ lesen soll.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
@ rusrus – Point well taken and agreed uopn.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Well, anyone who speaks German can’t be evil.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Personally, I don’t wear them anymore — although I do have an old Art Monk jersey that is worn out from overuse in the early-to-mid 90’s. My 3-year-old has a Sean Taylor jersey that we bought days before Taylor died, and I don’t have any problem with him wearing that throughout the season. I try not to wear unrelated gear to games — I dug a Padres hat out of the archives to wear when I was in PHX last weekend and went to a D-Backs/Padres game, just so I wouldn’t look like a tool wearing my O’s hat. Of course, some would argue that you always look like a tool wearing a O’s hat, but those people are probably Yankees fans.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Royals apparel always acceptable because of the inherent shame, unless you’re in a gang and just want a blue hat.
I’m all for paying sniper to pick off anyone who wears a green or pink red socks hat.
Replica jerseys are inappropriate for any non-gang/fat guy activity.
I think that’s good rule of thumb.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Isn’t it sort of gay to obsess on what other men are wearing? Just askin’
April 25th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
My 11-year-old son is now banned from wearing his #21 Julius Jones jersey, but what is the ruling if Pacman becomes No. 21? Can he peel the “J.” and rock team colors?
His other jersey is a #31 Roy “Biscuit” Williams frock, and I might eat my young if he tried to wear that out of the house.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Otto, you’re just pissed because if you buy a Chiefs jersey, you’re also required to purchase the accompanying white turtleneck
April 25th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
@TurleyGirlie
People were Ravens jerseys to Oriole games in Baltimore all the time.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
@otto
Love the reference. One of my favorite episodes of all time. “It doesn’t say Die Bart Die”.
Just made my Friday afternoon.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
@Dan Levy
April 25th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
@Dan Levy
How the fuck are you still alive?
April 25th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
So, is wearing your team’s jersey to watch a game where they are not playing lame, or is it showing your true fanhood?
Both.
I own a replica 54 Urlacher jersey, and being a season ticket holder, that was my jersey of choice…..until I got a real job. Now I proudly wear my authentic 34 Payton at home games. Yes, I realize no one gives a shit.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Threadjack, boys. You’ll thank me later.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
I went to a Caps/Penguins game in DC and some dumb bastard wore a Jagr Rangers jersey. I don’t believe he made it out alive.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
@futuremrsrickankiel: “Masturbation is part of people’s sexual repertoire.”
Yeah….I guess you could consider 99 percent a “part”.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Can we agree it’s OK to wear a team cap in the offseason?
April 25th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Never anywhere but at an actual game where the actual team is playing.
Even then, with hesitation.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Otto, you’re just pissed because if you buy a Chiefs jersey, you’re also required to purchase the accompanying white turtleneck
No, no. When you buy a Chiefs replica jersey, it comes with its own little fake turtleneck top. It’s just the neck and a little surrounding fabric, like Kent wore in the film “Real Genius,” but it gets the job done.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I’ve also seen a guy wearing a NY Giants shiny blue jacket (like Parcells would have worn) and Giants hat to an Orioles-Rays game. You might as well wear a “I’m a Douchebag” sign around your neck.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
@ futuremrsrickankiel: My God… so this is what finding out you’re immortal feels like.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
@Otto Man
…little fake turtleneck top
That’s aptly called a <a href=”http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/dickie”dickie
April 25th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
@rusrus
Dickie. it’s a dickie… Nice HTML…
April 25th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
I was picking my daughter up from school Wednesday when I saw a guy in an Eagles #37 road jersey. I said, “Who the hell would own a Sean Considine jersey?”
The name plate said “Westbrook.” Sad, sad, sad.
Also it is never, EVER acceptable to tuck in a jersey.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
But Mom, I never tossed off in the bathroom. I never tossed off to anything!
April 25th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
I have to say…I dunno about all of this.
I think wearing a cliche jersey is the biggest infraction. Manning? Seriously, suck a fuck. I don’t care where you’re from or who is in the SB, the following jerseys suck as a rule and shouldn’t be purchased or worn:
Brady
Manning
Tony Romo
Tomlinson
Larry Johnson
Shaun Alexander (Might be okay again…but give it about until week 4 or 5 to make sure)
Donovan McNabb
Brett Favre
Marvin Harrison
Terrell Owens
Randy Moss
I think sticking with terrible choices is funny and definitely approved. Break out the Bobby Hoying jersey. Wear the Shaun King jersey with pride. It’s funny. It works. Any Mamula jersey I would pay over retail price for.
Kicker jerseys are always awesome. Anyone wearing a Janikowski jersey is clearly in on the joke.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Glass_family
Went to Reds v Red Sox at Fenway and dude in my row was wearing a reds polo shirt with a red sox hat. I shot him where he sat and threw one red rose on his corpse
April 25th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Definitely don’t mean to be holier than thou. I’ve broken this rule more than a few times.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
I need to replace my Simeon Rice jersey, but I need to wait and see if Tanard Jackson gives up #28 back to Warrick Dunn. Oh, the anticipation.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
A dickie. Dammit, I knew there was a name for it.
Whatever. Kent was rocking it, and all the while serving as a poster boy for prostate cancer prevention.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Frau Ankiel In Dem Futur,
Good call on the “Nicht Nicht”. You beat me to it. Prost!
April 25th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Wearing replica NFL jerseys, on any occasion, is somewhere between wearing your team’s Zubaz pants and just rocking a simple team hat.
I think replica jerseys are closer to the Zubaz end of the spectrum for a few reasons. The main one being that aside from sports everyone is generally a fan of something else… whether it be beer, strippers, bands, and/or the guys that vehemently claim that the lie detector test they just took on Maury is, itself, lying (I believe these guys are the badasses of our time).
But fans of the above don’t walk around, in normal social situations, dressed up as brewers, slutty chicks, Bono, or jackasses.
One more reason… NFL fans comprise a demographic that would be the chief suspects in the beating of an avid comic convention goer, Dungeons and Dragons club roleplayer, and/or renaissance festival participant. Why? The obvious reason is it’s weird and kinda fruity. But why is that so? Because they play dress up as Lando Calrissian, a magical elf, and a court jester.
So what’s worse? Well, the last time I went to the grocery store or a Hooters on the weekend I remember seeing more middle aged, beer bellied white dudes with Romo, Witten, and Glenn jerseys than people dressed as a Storm Trooper, a dark lord, or blacksmith.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
When Nick Markakis started blowing up in Baltimore, it was knda cool to see people crossing out “Sosa” on #21 Os tshirts and sloppily writing “Markakis” above it.
So far this year, I’ve already seen a few Jones over Tejada #10 makeshift jobs.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Its good to know that I’ll get a few more months out of my Shaun Alexander jersey. Maybe I’ll finally replace it with a vintage Largent #80.
“-Do not EVER, EVER put your own last name on the back of a jersey”
Truer words have never been spoken. I’m generally against any customizing of jerseys whatsoever, but I do like certain ones. When I go to Blackhawks-Red Wings games and “Detroit Sucks” is on some of the Hawks gear…that makes me smile.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
AndyG – I must take offense to your reference of Janikowski – although I clearly get the joke. Perhaps punters might be a bit funnier? Maybe Shane Lechler?
Anyway – I simply take offense b/c I was at his wedding a few months back and he threw one helluva reception. Gotta give it to him for that.
I just felt like I had to stick up for my boy a bit. Please continue to rag on all kickers.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
I’ll wear my Cowboys hat whenever I want to. If it’s really sunny, fuck you, I’m putting on my hat. This upcoming season, just like the last two seasons, my jersey will go away when Romo fucks up in the playoffs. It doesn’t come out until maybe the NFL Draft. It’s more likely that I won’t wear it until Week 1.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
You mean it’s not funny when I spend 300 bucks on my customized jersey that says DEEZ NUTZ and #69 on it!? Damn.
/sarcasm
April 25th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Uncle Jesse,
I think jerseys are a little bit different than the costumes that you describe in the other milieus. For one thing, those attendees that go all out at a comic book convention/D & D club or renaissance fair all complete costumed, (yes I know others attend in their “normal” clothing”), whereas those middle aged men you saw at Hooters most likely weren’t wearing a helmet, mouth gard, shoulder pads, thigh pads and football cleats – so a jersey quite the same level of costuming.
/punishes self for using the word milieus by leaving work early to start drinking heavily ….
That being said – I simply wear my handful of jerseys for shock value – Barry Bonds, Michael Vick and Ray Lewis were the first 3 I owned. I am pretty sure that means Dwyane Wade and Brian Urlacher will be in some serious trouble soon based upon that rationale.
My next purchase (already purchased at Wrigley through a friend – should arrive this week) is a pinstriped Cubs Fukudome – because hey, who doesn’t want to walk around with Fuk U Do Me on their clothes!
April 25th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
because hey, who doesn’t want to walk around with Fuk U Do Me on their clothes!
If only Marisa Miller had been wearing that at Wrigley.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Pepster – Don’t get me wrong…I don’t dislike the guy. I think he’s really entertaining. All kickers are. It’s what makes wearing their jersey okay.
Also…I think I want to hear more about the reception. Were there pierogies!?
April 25th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
I still wear my Mark Chmura jersey with pride…when I go to pick up the babysitter.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
“-Do not wear replica jerseys of players that have been traded, or are currently playing for another team”
I have a Ty Wigginton Mets jersey I wear with pride to every game i go to
April 25th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
@ otto man – AMEN to that!
@AndyG – I didn’t mean to imply that your remark was personal, he is after all a kicker that is true.
No pierogies, but lots of vodka and caviar – and that was just at the cocktail hour. With pass around mojitos to boot (wedding was in Miami). Food was phenomenal – and rehearsal dinner at the Capital Grille! Not that I needed to, but I ate really well that weekend.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Pepster…
So wearing half or part of a Chewbacca, wizard, or knight outfit in public and normal everday situations would be socially acceptable?
April 25th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Pemulis, I’m going to have to agree with you on that. As long as Jeremy Fucking Jacobs has his grubby hands on my hockey team, I refuse to wear any jersey other than my Joe Thornton one. Sometimes it’s a statement.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Uncle Jesse – It depends on how drunk you are, I suppose. There is actually a radio intern at a pop station down here that wears a bigfoot mask out in public, and wore a lucahadore mask for something like 45 or 60 days straight.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Is it okay to wear a jersey with your name on the back if it happens to be the same as the player who wears that jersey? For instance, if my name were Bill Ward, would I be a douchebag for wearing a Hines Ward jersey? Or if my name were Johny Favre would I… wait, that one is a yes just for having the name.
Also, I think a Cleveland Browns no. 24 “Eazy E” jersey would be perfectly fine to wear while beating people with a Louisville slugger or, y’know, dying from AIDS.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
What about having a jersey of a player you hate?
Now, I know jerseys of guys who are no longer on the team are lame. But what about a guy you wish was no longer on the team?
I’m a Cowboys fan (feel free to rip me, folks), and about three years ago I bought a Roy Williams jersey. He was my favorite player on the team, but now he’s forgotten how to cover OR tackle, and I just want him gone. Plus I was wearing the jersey when Romo fumbled the snap, and I haven’t had the heart to put it on since.
I suppose I should update this year to maybe Ware, or Meast it up with Barber. But that shit’s expensive nowadays.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Of course, wearing your own jersey in public is kind of douchey.
Unless you’re waving a gun around.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
@Chris Henry – The Rooney family owns three restaurant/pubs around town here along with the local dog track/poker room. One of the sons always guest sots on one of the local radio programs. He told the story that happened after the Steelers won the Super Bowl over the Seahawks, saying that the team had a reception scheduled at the team hotel after the victory. Antwaan Randel El showed up at the victory party with his posse, and they were all wearing a Randel El jerseys.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
John Awesome: You’re on to something. Rocking the Jurgensen jersey is okay, but showing up with a Portis or another come lately feels and looks weak. I never have a problems wearing my red, white and blue Dale Hunter Caps jersey (its still stained with Flyer fan blood). Its the only non-frustrating statement I can make about the team.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
@ AndyG – Add Ray Lewis to that list. He’s probably the best known defensive player of the lot (or at least was) and still has the most serious offense linked to his name (he looks down at that BCDE who got kicked out for suspected rape and shakes his head), so just about everybody who puts his name on the back of their jersey is a douchebag.
April 25th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Can we also ammend whatever ruling comes out of this to include morbidly obese men who wear running back or db jerseys stretched to their limits. God, if i see one mor hairy ass-crack draped with a 5XL Jerry Rice jersey…
Also, all bets are off for chicks with whom you have just sex donning your Orange Cade McNown
April 25th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
About this never wearing a jersey of a guy who’s not on your team anymore: Does this mean I have to change my screen name too?
/I’ve been TurleyGirlie since Kyle Turley was a Saint and I refuse to change
/now get off my lawn
April 25th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
@wilful1: As well you should have. I’ll never understand vaguely dressy attire with a sports logo on it. Why not just rent a tuxedo and paint some numbers on there, asshole.
It’s also worth noting that ironic replica jerseys are always in season. A guy at the sports bar I go to during football season rocks a Lorenzen jersey. That’s just 101 kinds of awesome.
April 25th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
for whatever reason, wearing my Rasheed Wallace bullets jersey gives me a feeling of superiority I cant quite explain. Its like supermans cape.
April 25th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Another situation where it’s okay to bust out the jersey:
Fantasy Football Live Drafts
April 26th, 2008 at 1:14 am
Given that the draft is this weekend, what is the ruling for wearing a team jersey to a draft party?
I ask merely for information…
April 26th, 2008 at 4:10 am
Okay, what if your girlfriend buys you a replica jersey and puts your name on the back because she doesn’t know anybody on said team?
Does it help if it’s soccer and not football? Or should I just hang myself now?
April 26th, 2008 at 5:03 am
@Hakim
It doesn’t matter with a soccer jersey. People will think you are lame no matter what name is on the back.
My advise would be to dump the girlfriend and burn the jersey.
April 26th, 2008 at 8:13 am
I think a few of you are onto something: retro jerseys get more leeway because they are a statement of appreciation for sports history in the pre-ESPN era.
But there is nothing more ridiculous than a fat balding white guy wearing a Clinton Portis jersey.
Otherwise, the only place these are appropriate:
-Draft Day
-Fantasy Football Draft Day
-On Gameday
-At a Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony
-When you’re having sex with Gisele (especially if it’s a Manning jersey)
I think that’s the list.
April 26th, 2008 at 10:20 am
What about jerseys of teams that no longer exist? I wear my Expos jersey to the Skydome and my Nordiques jersey to peeler bars in Quebec. Makes the young french women misty eyed. Downside is they think I speak french.
April 26th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
If wearing my womens size small Winnipeg Jets jersey to all sporting events is wrong, I do not want to be right.
/ima douchebag
April 27th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
[...] Replica jersey etiquette from KSK. [...]
September 14th, 2008 at 7:51 am
u guys are retarded. who the hell cares where when and why people where their jerseys. and those arent replicas in the picture they are authentics, u can tell by the sewn numbers and old reebok tag on the raiders jersey, albeit they dont wear those same ones in games but they are advertised as authentics. and also most people wear jerseys just for fashion, especially the chargers jersey