By reaching the Final Four of the Kill Kill Kill Tournament, we’ve pretty much exhausted all available jokes and references for the mascots remaining. Trolling through the Sunday funnies yesterday, I found a good angle for our first semifinal contest. Hopefully The Comics Curmudgeon doesn’t sue us.

-Considerable longevity despite complete lack of humor
-Horrible, supposedly
-Stone-sized feet can deliver lethal blow
-Facial hair disturbing even to an animal

-Not sure what separates Vikings from the other warriors in the above comic
-Above comic not funny
-Not as horrible as shrewy wife
-Inexplicably wears white shirt under what appears to be a straw toga
-Sword awfully stubby, looks like made of cardboard
-Shield chipped

-Wry observations on human nature
-Established record of fooling humans
-Excellent pouncing ability

-Appears in actual good comic
-Access to a transmogrifier

-Only mobile when Calvin is around
-Named after philosopher (Pretentious!)
-causes scientific process to go boink
-Possibly gay for himself (Link is kinda NSFW)