Kill Kill Kill Fighting Four: Viking vs. Bengal. WHO YA GOT?
By reaching the Final Four of the Kill Kill Kill Tournament, we’ve pretty much exhausted all available jokes and references for the mascots remaining. Trolling through the Sunday funnies yesterday, I found a good angle for our first semifinal contest. Hopefully The Comics Curmudgeon doesn’t sue us.
Viking
Pro:
-Considerable longevity despite complete lack of humor
-Horrible, supposedly
-Stone-sized feet can deliver lethal blow
-Facial hair disturbing even to an animal
Con:
-Not sure what separates Vikings from the other warriors in the above comic
-Above comic not funny
-Not as horrible as shrewy wife
-Inexplicably wears white shirt under what appears to be a straw toga
-Sword awfully stubby, looks like made of cardboard
-Shield chipped
Bengal
Pros:
-Wry observations on human nature
-Established record of fooling humans
-Excellent pouncing ability
-Jolly
-Appears in actual good comic
-Access to a transmogrifier
Con:
-Only mobile when Calvin is around
-Named after philosopher (Pretentious!)
-causes scientific process to go boink
-Possibly gay for himself (Link is kinda NSFW)
Tags: The KSK Real NFL Mascot Kill Kill Kill Invitational Tou, xmas ape
April 7th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
if hobbes loses to hagar i will kill myself. or be mildly disappointed.
April 7th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
If you don’t vote for the bengal tiger, you are definitely gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Maybe that’s how you roll. That’s fine. I’m just saying your manhood is totally in question.
April 7th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
I vote for Viking simply because I love the idea of women in winged helmets.
No other reason.
/knows it is a myth.
//Does not care.
April 7th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Agree to disagree:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApxnAr6pRt0
April 7th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Error message… can’t vote… must… participate… in democratic process… but too apathe
April 7th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Hagar might be able to trick em with a Tuna Sandwich, Tigers r stupid that way.
April 7th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
OK, Tiger this time, but only because you used a picture of Hobbes.
April 7th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Hobbes was able to outsmart Calvin in nearly every one of their snowball battles. Has Hagar ever won a battle? He always seems to be shipwrecked or strung up in a dungeon with Lucky Eddie.
Hobbes in a rout.
April 7th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
@smurphette
Yeah… I voted for the Tiger. I think in the end, my manhood was more concerned about wearing a purple outfit complete with horn stickers than kickin’ it with Calvin. My bad.
April 7th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
SO LONG, POP! I’M OFF TO CHECK MY TIGER TRAP!
April 7th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
@naptown drew: Plus, bengal tigers are pretty badass in real life. You made the right choice.
April 7th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
The bengal tiger’s access to a transmogrifier (plus a Martian spaceship) tilts the favor in my opinion. Clearly, Hobbes can transmogrify himself into anything else … even a piece of all the most fearsome mascots out there!
A BearJetBengalVikingTitan.
Terrifying.
April 7th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
The transmogrifier is irrelevant. The tiger is already the most fierce of the mascot creatures.
April 8th, 2008 at 2:09 am
Why the hell did I click on that link?
April 8th, 2008 at 11:20 am
I’m wondering why I kept reading it. What the fuck is wrong with me? And who the hell took the time to write & animate Hobbes fucking himself?