Kill Kill Kill Championship: Bear vs. Bengal. WHO YA GOT?
At long last, your Kill Kill Kill Tournament comes down to a sadistic zookeeper’s dream: Bengal versus Bear. Naturally, we’d be more than content than have the little ones have it out for our love. Take it away, tykes.
Rather, this will be settled in the arena of cereal, the last redoubt of bored slackers like us the world ’round. WHO YA GOT?
Bear
Pro:
- Worthy of extensive history of iconography
-Again, the Godless Killing Machine thing
- Judging from picture, clearly ‘roiding
- Dutifully pays the bear tax
Con:
-No cereal makes your pee smell more than Golden Crisp.
-Get too many and it’s like “A freaking country bear jamberoo”
-Weakness for honey pot
-Often confused for Logan Mankins
Tiger
Pro:
-Employs Tiger Style
-Exxon Tiger is bleeding me dry
-Tiger Uppercut most vicious, also fun to say
-Apparently has a boat (SO THAT’S WHY HE BEAT DOLPHIN!)
-Inspired excellent William Blake poem
-Less flamboyantly gay than Tigger
Con:
-Frosted Flakes soggy after negative two seconds in milk.
-Also cutting back on sugar to appear healthy. Fuck you. Back to Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs for me.
- Fearful symmetry too symmetrical
-Inspired annoying Comcast commercial
Tags: The KSK Real NFL Mascot Kill Kill Kill Invitational Tou, xmas ape
April 10th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Buy corn flakes and pour your own sugar on them. lack of sugar on flakes problem solved. voting bear.
April 10th, 2008 at 11:27 am
plus the Tiger is a hell of a golfer.
Im going with Tigers for obvious reasons, THEIR GREAT!
April 10th, 2008 at 11:30 am
voting bengal because i dont even know why anymore
April 10th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Goddammit I loved 36 Chambers.
/votes Bengal
April 10th, 2008 at 11:39 am
Way to ghey up a death match championship.
April 10th, 2008 at 11:39 am
i think bengals have proven themselves to be well versed in the art of assault & battery.
April 10th, 2008 at 11:41 am
@caveman
Yup. Gotta go Tiger because every time I hear that song I get hyped through the fucking roof. It can be all so simple, then.
/protects neck
April 10th, 2008 at 11:47 am
Adam:
The whole tournament has been pretty gay to this point.
April 10th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Bear for the win!!!
/dick came blowing and blew off ya headphones…
April 10th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Being from the Isle of Shaolin, I must vote tiger. Are they fighting in the gravel pit?
April 10th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
That could have been the most pussified “fight” I have ever seen.
I’m voting for the chick with the camera.
April 10th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Frosted Flakes vs. Golden Crsip? seriously this isn’t even going to be close.
Tiger all the way.
April 10th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
I’ve scared off a bear by throwing an empty beer can at it. Winner, Tiger. Although there’s no way he beats Welkah!
April 10th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
@el duke
That reminds me, Tigers are not scared when you throw shit at them. During an eighth grade field trip to the zoo I discovered this when I threw M&Ms at a tiger and that tiger walked right up to the bars about eight feet away from me and roared. I could feel his breath he was so close. I never disrespected a tiger again.
April 10th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
The bear has always been the symbol for Russia. A vote for bears is a vote for COMMUNISM!
April 10th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
No cereal makes your pee smell more than Golden Crisp
Clearly you haven’t tried Asparagus Krispies
April 10th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
What’s that in your pants?
Oh, it’s human feces.
Go Tigah.
April 10th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Bear vs. Tiger
Nicklaus v. Woods
Master’s Week
Who is truly better?
Such KSK symmetry
/going to beat self with Driver
April 10th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.
/votes Bengal
April 10th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
The Rza just convinced me. It’s the tiger.
April 10th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
The bear would decapitate that mother fucker.
No one standing alone has a chance against the mighty bear.
and @sideshow bob
it’s They’re Grrrreat.
April 10th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
/going to beat self with Driver
Donald Driver? Haven’t the Packers been part of enough pain this week?
April 10th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Bengal would kill the Bear in about 5 minutes. After a few unsuccessful attempts on the throat, the Tiger would hit it’s mark. Also, Bears are pussies.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzhZBsVA8EQ
Plus, Golden Crisp Bear is wearing a gay sweater.
April 10th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
In the baby bear vs. baby tiger video, why do I get the impression the clip stopped just as the camera-guy and the girl with the natural-looking hair color were about to practice making babies of their own?
April 10th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
oh yea, my vote went for
Da’ Bear(s)
April 10th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
@naptown drew
Exactly. You don’t fuck with a tiger. I don’t see how anybody could vote for the bear with that kind of logic.
God, how do I reeach these keeeds?
April 10th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Bear wins because TV (Discovery Channel) said so:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=oLwmUbRY8Mk
April 10th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
@el duke
Maybe the bear just gets confused when you throw it a beer can…thinks you want it to join the party.
A vote for the bear is a vote for the Rex Cannon. I’ll go with the bear.
April 10th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
That bear in the video totally should’ve went for an armbar
April 10th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Damn it all to hell! I was going to fuck with Wu Tang today, but now I find out I shouldn’t?
Now who am I going to fuck with? Maybe the new admin down the hall. The one with the big cans.
Tiger, because it’s the only way the Bengals will ever win anything.
April 10th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
ape, you mean to tell me that there’s not a whole ocean of oil under your feet that no one but you can get to?
/DRAINAGEEEEEEE
April 10th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
bear > man throwing sticks from elephant. but still, tiger
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jojNzvtP6LY
April 10th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Seriously, how the hell is the tiger not winning?!
More baby animal brawl videos please. I like killkillkill as much as the next commenter, but holy crap, did you see the paws on the baby tiger? *sigh*
April 10th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
UghI hate that Comcast commercial with a passion,actually all Comcast commercials are pretty fucking bad. That being said…FUCK YOU BENGAL!
April 10th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
You mean that one musical number commercial they do doesn’t make you want to jump up and immediatly switch to Comcast Digital Voice?
April 10th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
The bear in that video clearly cannot pass the tiger’s guard. Tiger has superior ground game.
Tiger with Brazilian Jiu Jitsu > Regular Bear
/got burnt once but that was only gonorrhea
April 10th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
As goes ODB, so goes JLW. Tiger Triumphs.
/Everything around me ruled by cash
April 10th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
ESPN is predicting, based on exit polling, that The Bear will win the Kill Kill Kill Championship.
Note that this is not scientific research, just someone standing outside some bar asking people walking by.
Now, back to our regular programming.
April 10th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Tiger style ain’t nuthin’ ta fuck with.
I get hyped cause I’m amped.
April 10th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Voted tiger. Force of habit.
April 10th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
On one hand, as a Detroit Lions fan living in Chicago, I have a very difficult time voting for the Bears. On the other hand, the Bengals unfairly dethroned the Lions from the one Lions Championship I actually had a chance to see in my lifetime. I hate you guys for making me choose.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
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