Kenton Keith Invokes “Colts Defense,” Bad Grammar
Colts backup running back Kenton Keith was popped by Indianapolis police for refusing to leave a nightclub parking lot afterhours, despite his noble intentions of updating Heavy Metal Parking Lot for a new generation.
Even more troubling was the wanton disregard of law enforcement to his inviolate privilege of being above standards of normal society because he’s a marginal player on an NFL team. Before there’s law, there’s order. And he’s on a higher order than us. What’s so hard to understand?
“I’m a Colts player! I’m a Colts player!” Keith informed the cops, surely flipping out the FBI-like badge the NFL administers to its players for just such occasions.
This wasn’t some loitering punk on his skateboard. He was a treasured dispenser of sage advice and comforting remarks through his personal web site. Now knowing this once elevated public citizen could very well be prosecuted for the same minor offenses as they will surely keep them from sending him their poorly worded non-sequitors and rambling bullshit.
Before:
Hey, Bro!! Good to see a fellow Benson Bunny, make it bigtime. Run on bro!! My nephew is playing with the Bengals.. Titus Adams.. Look him up if you get a chance. He went to Creighton Prep.. Hey, just wanted to drop a “Hey” and keep it safe bro.. Maybe someday I will see you in a NFL game. Im a College football official now, working hard to be in the show.. IF you ever come to Jacksonville, FL, holla at me. Benson Class of “82″..
Ok cool
Now:
A’yo heard u was in the league……. how’s it that u gots arrested fo hanging outside da club? thought you wuz baller. SHIT i can arrested for lunchin outside da club. fuck yo shoes
Word life.
Tags: kool keith, xmas ape
April 21st, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Two words: Melanin Dragnet.
Santonio Holmes got caught up in the same shit in Miami two years ago. Those charges got dropped. So will these. Just watch.
April 21st, 2008 at 2:47 pm
This question just goes to prove that very little people ever want to ask Kenton anything. Some kid from 7-11 gives more props to a useless CFL QB.
—-
From Lil’ D
Hey Its Dustin Agian, just suppose to stop by and say good luck in your career…my uncle Rob Kuffner from Auto Gallery said it was an honor to serve Nealon Greene, but thanks agian 2k…if u remeber me alwayz seeing u and Nealon and also you boyy Santino Hall at 7-11 store, but thanks u
That’s cool.
- KK
—
April 21st, 2008 at 2:55 pm
When I read the post the first time I was wondering why the boys at KSK decided to change their ‘Ask Jay Cutler’ feature to Kenton Keith of all people.
Then I clicked on the link and realized that Kenton himself actually did the same thing.
April 21st, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Q - Who’s the best metal band around?
A - Judas F***ing Priest!!!
April 21st, 2008 at 3:24 pm
It’s pretty awesome that the website’s Q&A section is called “AskKK.”
April 21st, 2008 at 3:25 pm
KK, you will never be a starter if you think the Ravens are our rivals. And because you always drop passes coming out of the backfield.
April 21st, 2008 at 3:42 pm
I am about to be a fether too KK.
April 21st, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Kenton Keith Kares….
April 21st, 2008 at 3:53 pm
I AM R.E.M.!!!!!
April 21st, 2008 at 3:57 pm
I love Lafayette Square.
April 21st, 2008 at 4:02 pm
The police report said the defendants were in the parking lot “laughing, dancing, and joking”. Well, they obviously violated Indianapolis’ “laughing, dancing, and joking by black people after dark” ordinance. Lucky they didn’t get tazed.
April 21st, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Kenton Keith. Kenton Keith is a Black man from Nebraska. But Kenton Keith lives in Saskatchewan. Now think about it; that does not make sense! Why would a Black man, six-foot tall 200lb. Black man, want to live in Saskatchewan with a bunch of ice-skating pansies? That does not make sense! If Kenton Keith lives in Saskatchewan, you must acquit! The defense rests.
April 21st, 2008 at 4:05 pm
“…because he’s a marginal player on an NFL team.”
Though a great CFLer
Western Conference All star
April 21st, 2008 at 4:11 pm
@smurphette
…or as long as “Live and Let Addai” is breaking off 73 yd. runs against the Pats.
@shinons
Yeah… the only place in town I can pick up some Starbury shoes and stray bullets in one afternoon.
April 21st, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Is that the english language?
April 21st, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Devin Hester and Kenton Keith need to have a spelling contest.
FETHER?!?!
April 21st, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Cut him Polian, please? Dropping all those passes last year was pissing me off
@Naptown Dew. Yes, and YES! I love that episode.
April 21st, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Indy cops suck.
April 21st, 2008 at 4:53 pm
@ The Maj - Damn Straight!! Always trying to bring a brother down. Oh wait…
April 21st, 2008 at 5:10 pm
@naptown drew: Yeah, that, too
April 21st, 2008 at 7:25 pm
The real questions is, “Why is Kenton Keith still a Colt?”
Fuck him and fuck Aaron Moorehead with a crooked broomstick.
April 21st, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Plz to posts moare MarmalaRd, XMass APe!
April 21st, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Way to go KK, making New Mexico State grads proud!
April 22nd, 2008 at 12:28 am
Keith’s got to go. He doesn’t have the hands to play for the Colts and has now shown he’s a dumbass, went a cop tells you it’s time to go, “When I’m ready, I’m a Colts player.” isn’t the right answer.
Mr. Polian, please draft Chris Johnson or Matt Forte.