Jeff Fisher Is Prepared For All Outcomes
I would like to take a moment to address the criticism made by some of the members of the media directed at this organization’s decision not to take a receiver until the 4th round this past weekend.
Frankly, we feel as though we have a solid but unheralded receiving corps that is capable of accomplishing great things if given greater time to congeal as a unit. That talent coupled with the recent acquisition of Pro Bowl tight end Alge Crumpler has us in a position where we feel like we have already taken the next step from playoff team to Super Bowl contender.
[Door flies open]
Vince Young: AAAAAAHHHHHHH Fuck! I’m on fire! AH AAAAHH AAAAAAAHHH
Fisher: Hello Vince.
Reporter: Coach Fisher! Does Vince Young being in a state of combustion affect the strategy of this team going forward?
Fisher: We have integrated the fire into our larger off-season strategy, but whether we will acquire the means to extinguish it depends largely on cap room and the availability of fire safety equipment on the free agent market.
In fact, I have just been made aware that the Tennessee Titans have just acquired an undrafted wet nap to address the situation.
[Tosses wet nap on Young to no noticeable effect]
Reporter: Will that be enough? The smell of burning flesh is getting to be pronounced.
Fisher: The moisture from the wet nap will extinguish the fire.
Reporter: Are you sure?
Fisher: Well, either that or the fire will just burn out. There’s not much around here to keep it going.
Young: Ohmigod! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH HELP MEEEEEEEE!
Reporter: Won’t Young be dead by the time the fire burns out on its own?
Fisher: That is a possibility, but we really can’t entertain speculation at this point. We’ll assess our quarterback situation once the fire goes out and make the necessary adjustments.
Thank you.
[Pumps fist and walks off]
Tags: tennessee titans, xmas ape
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April 28th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Pretty much sums it up.
April 28th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Fisher better be careful. He has running backs stacked like cordwood in that office. He could lose three or four of them to the flames, and only have a half dozen left.
April 28th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Sure a heck of alot of doors flying open around here – more and more people seem to be getting a grand entrance.
/door hits in ass on way out
April 28th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
So who set the fire? C’mon Ape, was it Anton Chigurh or not? Or maybe it was Norm Chow as the door flew open and hit him in the ass on his way out of Tennessee.
Only J-Fish really knows the truth.
April 28th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
@Jackin’ – Self immolation by Vince to protest China’s oppression of Tibet.
April 28th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Just when you thought football could not get any more boring in TN.
April 28th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Jeff Fisher :: Running backs
Jon Gruden :: Quarterbacks
?
April 28th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Now Lendale White can make Smores!
April 28th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Luckily, it’s a Vince Young fire, so it’ll only burn less than 60% of his body. He should be good to go for mini camp next week.
April 28th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
“McNair never let a body-engulfing fire stop HIM from playin’.”
April 28th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Vince didn’t start the fire because he would have missed himself completely, probably would have lit mathis’ hair on fire… cut your goddamn dreds hippie
April 28th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
[...] • The Titans keep getting bashed for skimping on the wide receiver position in the draft. Apparently, some folks seem to think that the team’s lack of attention in this area might somehow be detrimental to Vince Young’s career. [...]
April 28th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
i like how you used “congeal” to describe the titans recieving corps. seems appropriate
April 28th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
[...] Black Jebus really needed the Titans to draft a WR BEFORE THE 4th EFFIN’ ROUND. (Kissing Suzy Kolber) [...]
April 28th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Combustion? No. Methinks Pacman broke into his grenade stash again.
April 28th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Titans shoulda drafted a midget WR so VY’s passes would finally hit a receiver in the numbers instead of the logo on their cleats
April 29th, 2008 at 7:07 am
[...] Read the rest at Kissing Suzy Kolber. [...]
April 29th, 2008 at 8:14 am
I’d like to thank Ape for this post. The photo inspired me to rewatch “Man on Fire” last night (the Denzel remake).
Great film. The judicial policeman tortured in his car gives it eight fingers up!
April 29th, 2008 at 8:55 am
He has running backs stacked like cordwood in that office. He could lose three or four of them to the flames, and only have a half dozen left.
LenDale White would basically make a grease fire. You can’t put that out with water. You’ve got to smother it. Possibly using baking soda. I’m sure Jeff Fisher has already foreseen such a possibility though.
April 29th, 2008 at 9:41 am
See, this is why they were so short-sighted in getting rid of Pac-Man. He would come in, make it rain, and before you know it the fire is extinguished.
April 29th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Receivers drafted by Fischer…
Chris Sanders
Joey Kent
Derrick Mason
Kevin Dyson
Darran Hall
Justin McCariens
Eddie Berlin
Jake Scifino
Darrell Hill
Tyron Calico
Courtney Roby
Brandon Jones
Roydell Williams
Jonathan Orr
Paul Williams
Chris Davis
Joel Filani
What the hell do you people want? A greater than 6% success rate in drafting WRs??? Good luck you bunch of Kiper Juniorses. They all can’t turn out like Mason who incidentally can still catch the fuck out of some 8 yd button hooks.
December 2nd, 2008 at 4:00 pm
I saved this post after the draft because I was upset by the selection of Chris Johnson instead of picking a receiver in the first round. Who’s laughing now?