I am knowing you no dlaft tarr leceivel because I terr you foll month and month no dlaft tarr leceivel.
Why no risten?
WHY NO RISTEN?
You see I no furr of smirre light now.
Ben Roethlisberger: O HAI HINES. WOT R WE CONVERSATIN’ ABOUT?
Hines: You, Rongrastname! You terr coach Tomrin foll month and month you want tarr leceivel. What long with Hines? You think that make smirre? Fine! I am making smirre foll you!
[Face strains from forced smile]
Roethlisberger: HARF HARF HARF. YA GOTSTA CHILL, HINES. I’M HAVING THIS GRAND THEFT AUTO IV PARTY TOMORROW. JAMES FARRIOR, JEFF REED AND CARSON DALY GONNA COME THROUGH. WE GONNA MERC SOME BUSTAS AND BUST SOME SLUTS, YOU KNOW?
Hines: Nerr! I spend time make pelfect new design for make Hines tarr. I show foll you!
You am seeing? You now folget youl Rimas Sweed. Hines Wald is tarr leceivel! Pelfect design even same corol as unifolm pant! No one can see!
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thanks
Yeah, around U.S. Open time everywhere suddenly had a VIP section. Funny how that works, and even funnier are some of the assholes who make it in.
thanks
[...] for Jared Allen. The Ragnarok makes us feel even better about the UDFA’s we picked up, and Kissing Suzy Kolber posts a great video of a local weather man getting very “excited” about the Jared Allen [...]
I would love to hear Hines introducing Rimas and Lashald to the boys in the locker room.
I smelled what you were cookin, no worries.
On a side note, my severence was a bit of a kick in the balls, but after 6 other mini-vacations thanks to HR/the new girls tits hanging out of her wonderfully low cut top that was sreaming at the seam trying to hold them in and the tent that i pitched in the middle of a meeting because of it, the wierd noises that came from the bathroom and … wait what was i talking about, bananas?
@ BDo: My bad, guy. Only that first part was directed toward you. The rest was apparently an airball of an attempt to make yet another joke about Ape being fired.
Yeah, around U.S. Open time everywhere suddenly had a VIP section. Funny how that works, and even funnier are some of the assholes who make it in.
I’ve tried to read this out loud about eight times but I still can’t get past “I no furr of smirre light now” without laughing
You arr furr of sclapper!
@85
Ya it was around the US Open time when they had that barge people were trying to land a ball on… an area was line off… Comin at me like i don’t know my shit…psh
Im sorry, I wasn’t a hot chick or an accountant with a fatass in plaid pants so it was VIP when compared to my ass
@BDo: There’s a VIP section at Bar Louie? Huh.
This is just awesome. If only the world knew the brilliant mind behind such work. Surely praise would be heaped upon its author and he would be promoted to more prestigious and higher-paying positions within his profession.
What?
Absolutely brilliant, Ape. Any thought to adding a “what got me fired” tag? I think it’d suit the Hines posts quite nicely.
@devang:
That was awful…ly fuckin’ hilarious. So happy no one can hear me laughing from my basement office.
/where my led staprel?
I am typing this from H.R.
Good, it should make learning about your severance pay a little easier.
Ben hangs out with Mario (A.C. Slater) Lopez… true story… Saw them in the VIP section of Bar Louie together last summer drinking Jaeger and Champagne (heave).
I was definately just looked at wierdly by my coworkers as I was trying to read Hines’ words out loud, they thought I was possessed by Jackie Chan. I then shouted out “Don’t mock me round’eye”. I am typing this from H.R.
Black Hines is having his own insecurity problems with Santonio Holmes.
@ devang – Thanks for making me walk out of by cube so people don’t hear me falling to the ground laughing – I too can only imagine the conversation – damn funny
What happened to black Hines? I thought he was bustin out.
“Rimas Sweed” is my new favorite Steerraah.
@Otto Man
Ratch out, Ladioactive Man!
@ devang
there are no words to describe how funny picturing that scene in my head is.
On that note:
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank.
Short line.
Just one lady in front of me . .. an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated . . .
She asked the teller, ‘Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?’
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, ‘Fluctuations’ .
The Asian lady says, ‘Fluc you white people, too’.
/I’ll show myself out now.
This is just like when Hines didn’t get cast as Fallout Boy.
Rongrastname
Brilliant. Simply, brilliant.
Don’t wolly Hines. They signed 5’9″ Dorien Bryant so they stirr rike rittle lecievels.