Forecast for Dallas: rain
04.23.08
ESPN is reporting that the Pac Man Jones to Cowboys trade is finally a done deal. The Titans get a fourth round pick and a conditional pick next year. Sounds like the Cowboys got Pac for a song. Not a good song either. I’m talking some of that Sufjan Stevens shit.
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Ah yes, I see Jerry’s commitment to making Dallas “America’s (Most Wanted) Team” knows no bounds. The best I can hope for is that T.O. gets caught in the crossfire when Pacman is gunned down. Maybe Romo too because I’d love to comfort Jessica … And by “comfort” I mean “totally bang”.
Re: 2,159 strip clubs in Dallas/Fort Worth…
before Pacman arrives that’s about 1 strip club per 3,000 residents. Not a good ratio for when the shooting starts. Jerry must mind the strip club gap.
@Jim Rockford: Shannen Doherty, Joan Collins and The Love Boat all in one comment? Holy shit, that is a new achievement in Gay.
Elvis? Ferotte? Pshaw.
Give me Spergon Wynn.
If Sage is off the staff, Gus Frerotte is the likely replacement. Just keep him away from the semi-padded wall in the endzone. I’d also recommend interviewing Bill Gramatica for the position…I hear he’s excitable.
Can we get a Tank and Pac post where they are playing Chest Rockwell and Brock Landers?
Nobody fucks with Tank and Pac!
/shadow punches Luis Guzman in the face
As a Dallas resident, I know I’ll be adding an extra deadbolt to each of my doors.
Can’t wait for the local news reports on the spike in Dallas strippers enrolling in self defense courses.
YeeeeeeeeeHaaaaaaa! I’m fuckin’ crazy as shit!
I think JJ has been possessed by the ghost of Al Davis. Al died a couple of years ago, right?
Pandering? Nah, I’m pretty sure it’s just a known fact that Stevens is a pretentious sack of crap whose stuff is a lame derivative of Stevie Winwood at best and straight-up unbearable at worst. Sorry to those of you who like him. You can still come to my party next weekend, but stay the fuck away from the iTunes.
Oh yeah, Pac and Tank will make for lots of Funfire(C), Mannysheadstash).
Sage Rosenfels is off KSK staff? Never seemed to be contributing much. For his replacement, I’d recommend a QB who isn’t doing anything and didn’t do much his whole career: Mr. Elvis Grbac.
I do believe that Roger Goodell will have a stroke sometime before this year.
Perhaps the NFL is in for a revolving door of commissioners a la the papacy in the 15th century . . .
its like Jerry jones reads this web-site and is doing everything he can to a) live up to the cracked portrait KSK has rendered here and b) bring in as many unstable elements as possible for future hilarity.
Next step? Romo retires to be a better father to the endless supply of babies he and Jessica will soon produce. Cowboys broker a deal with SD for Marmalard with LT negotiating the trade himself, saying ‘I don’t care what we get in return, just get that guy out of here,’ bikesbikesbikes.
Well, both Tank and Pacman can openly carry a firearms in Dallas. There’s nothing that could really go wrong there. nothing really……
(door flies open)
By song, I thought you meant Pac Man Fever by Buckner and Garcia.
/aged myself.
Bring on the fireworks.
I’m not sure if they involve INTs returned for touchdowns or a felony misdemeanor, but… yeah! Let’s do this shit!
There is something essential that hasn’t been discussed yet….
Tank Johnson and Pacman on the same team.
Together they could take over Bolivia…assuming Bolivia was filled with hot strippers.
@Rockford
Yeah, seriously, wtf? Chad Johnson? What’s that got to do with anything? PACMAN JONES son, don’t sleep.
That said… Don’t sleep on Sufjan Stevens. John Wayne Gacy Jr. is some cold, cold shit. Illinois is a good album.
@Jim wtf are you talking about? Did you just make some shit up based on a trade you made in Madden? Seriously, what the fuck? As far as Sufjan Stevens goes when he is good like with John Wayne Gacy Jr. and To Be Alone With You he is real, real good, but sometimes he does to much and tries to be way to eccentric or just to fucking unaccessible kind of like flubby.
OK, what’s the over/under for the first blow up between Terrel Owens and Wade Phillips over “too many passes” thrown Chad’s way?
I mean, Owen’s already is over due for a breakdown/blowup. I’m shocked it hasn’t happened already. Owens and Johnson on the same team?
That’s like Shannon Doherty and Joan Collins rooming together on the Love Boat. Trouble’s bound to happen.
My guess, second pre-season game will see Owens explode on Phillips. Owens is probably meeting RIGHT NOW with his acting coach. Man has to prepare, you know.
Should be fun. As a non-fan of the ‘Boys, I thank you once again Jerry Jones. Best move since firing Jimmy. Hey maybe you can fire Phillips mid-season, and replace him with Karl Dorrell? A man can dream, now can’t he?
@dinosaur: Word. Damn you for beating me to it.
Packed the shank up in my sock, when I started kindergarten.
I cannot wait for Pacman to take Romo on the town and Jessica to have a fit – but then again, he’ll probably get better results than after he went to Mexico with her.
Funfire?
Far as Sufjan goes, this is some Seven Swans bullshit, not “Chicago.” Yeah, I own the Illinois record. Fight me! I carry a shiv tucked into my argyle sweater, bitch!
Far as Pac-Man, Google Maps gives 2,159 strip clubs near Dallas. Let the fun/gunfire begin
Not necessarily happy with this deal. If Pac can stop playing grab ass at the strip clubs and can start makin’ it rain on QBs then I’ll approve.
Until that happens, I’ll be sorta unhappy with the Double-J for throwing away a 4th round pick. We could have gotten the Pacster for less – the Titans had no leverage at all.
And with the last sentence in this post, Flubby is flagrantly pandering to Futuremrs.