Drunk Blogger Staggers Into The Light
Since we’re getting paid for our dick joke slingery, I thought I’d join the Maj and Ufford in coming out from the shelter of complete anonymity. So, yeah, it kind of sucks out here. Anyway, I’m this guy and I work for this dying medium. I excel at writing about racist shoes and lost dogs. Isn’t that special?
The above picture (at least the part not obscured by the fucking photog’s thumb) was taken of the day of Super Bowl XL. It was about 6 hours to kick off and I was in fine fettle. In others words, totally fucking hammered. At least the parrot wasn’t making obscene gestures at me.
Tags: accountability or something, drunk bloggers, o an he sexy, wapo will fire me in 3...2..., xmas ape
April 14th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Holy fucking shit. Ape came out of the blogger closet.
(Obligatory, poorly-constructed gay reference)
April 14th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Fear the BeeDog
April 14th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
You’re just following The Big Lead’s lead.
April 14th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
DIRTY ROTTEN CHEATER!
-Jean Grey
April 14th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Wait, you have pants? I was told otherwise.
April 14th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
You guys are getting paid now?
April 14th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
If you’re coming out of the closet, with jerseyed furries is he way to do it.
April 14th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
so is there some kind of official countdown till wapo drops the axe? can we start a pool?
April 14th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
The new site should have spelling or grammar check for retards like me.
April 14th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Whatever that parrot felt in your back pocket obviously scared the shit out of him.
April 14th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Pletty smirre!
April 14th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Tommy Tutone has his own parrot mascot?
April 14th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
I’m guessing the parrot’s jersey number was inspired by a certain Price Is Right game….
April 14th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Nothing you could admit to is worse than being a Steeler fan anyway.
April 14th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
I’m glad to know you’re working for the WaPo.
Yet I’m saddened to know that a popular chicken eatery has burned down.
Truly, it was the best of times, it was the blurst of times.
April 14th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
That AND wearing a smirre jersey. Jesus.
You’re welcome for Tomlin, by the way, you steel town metal benders.
April 14th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Just don’t tell me Flubby has actually been Falco this whole time. I don’t think I could handle that.
April 14th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Wait. The Washington Post lets you file stories from your mom’s basement?
April 14th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
If a Seahawks fan walked into that scene, only Sterling would be able to stop the fight that would otherwise surely ensue…
April 14th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Bang up job on the New Year’s baby story!
April 14th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
So now you’ve sold out to the man and folks are coming out of the closet. Next, you’re gonna tell me that BDD is going to be featured on Page 2 alongside his buddy Bill S.
Tell me it ain’t so!!!!!!!!!
April 14th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Aren’t you glad Steely wasn’t around yet during Super Bowl XL? You don’t want a drunken picture with him and a “Man, I don’t even remember this…” caption.
April 14th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Oh and your banner is still corrupt with that giant bobbing head appearing after 60 seconds or so.
April 14th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Screw the countdown to ape getting fired, I want the coutdown until the awkward run-in with Tony Kornheiser in the hallway.
April 14th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
I read about the racist shoes, but the lack of swearing and gay jokes threw me for a loop. I knew it was Ape, but it wasn’t! It’s like the first time you listen to “Nashville Skyline” and think, “I know it’s Dylan, but it sure as shit doesn’t sound like him.”
April 14th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
El Duke:
Tony doesn’t show up at the office too often.
April 14th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
I just hope Ape isn’t fired before he publishes his next article, “Play Enjoyed By All.”
April 14th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
This is the first time I have ever commented during the years reading this site but I thought now would be appropriate.
If you are getting paid to do this gig and you have a better medium to work from, would’nt it be more effective to expand your staff and include CFL material too. I live in Canada and have never watched an NFL game not played by the Jets or Bills (avec Monsieur Flutie, jamais sans!), but I still enjoy the site’s humour and discourse. It would expand ad revenue and readership to a wider audience in the north.
I will regress into my igloo now..
April 14th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
I thought for sure Ape would “stumble into the light” with a [door flies open] and a “you bettah asssk somebodaaayyyyyyyyyy”
April 14th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Oh btw, Albertans say fuck you to properly conjugated and fully structured french sentences
April 14th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Did you intern at baltimoresun.com in ‘04? If not, you look like some dude I interned with then.
April 14th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Both younger and nerdier than I had expected. Hmm.
April 14th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Why does BDD have such a high digit number on his jersey?
April 14th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Did you intern at baltimoresun.com in ‘04?
Was your name Scott Templeton?
Speaking of which, a couple weeks back, I believe we had an argument about the believability of the Wire’s newspaper scenes, Ape. Uh. I’ll shut up now.
April 14th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
@ xmas ape:
That’s probably the least surprising news of the year. I wonder if he and SAS exchange tips on how to file a story via Blackberry the fastest. And I wonder if any of those tips could be applied to my Sidekick. That is, if I had some fancy dying medium job.
April 15th, 2008 at 12:38 am
I am so adding you on facebook LOLZ!!
April 15th, 2008 at 11:46 am
News about Ape:
http://www.ktvb.com/news/localnews/stories/ktvbn-jan2508-sexual_assault.5a4992e8.html
Will there definitely be a post letting us know which way WaPo is going to go with your employment?
pretty please…
April 17th, 2008 at 9:51 am
[...] Yes, WaPo fired one of our own — Christmas Ape of KSK fame — yesterday, two days after he outed himself as Post writer Michael [...]
April 17th, 2008 at 11:08 am
It’s your blog. Way to go, dumbass. You’ll never get another job from a media organization, particularly not from one that just won six Pulitzers.
Think this blog will pay your bills?
April 17th, 2008 at 11:39 am
[...] we really are? Well over at KissingSuzyKolbert a member of their crack staff, xmas ape, decided to “out” himself in celebration of the blog’s upcoming revenue. Apparently his employers, the Washington Post, [...]
April 17th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
but whose gonna write about racist shoes now?
April 17th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
“Think this blog will pay your bills?”
You must not know much about how little journalism jobs pay. Plus you’re an angry dick. Go fuck yourself, turdbreath.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
I’m pretty skeptical about the pay claim myself, unless this site is indeed facing a very steep upgrade and or takeover. Oh and advertising, somewhere, anywhere. … - Temple
April 18th, 2008 at 11:44 am
Here’s what I don’t get: Who gives a flying hoot whom this Ape dude works for? This is a sports site. Ape was a low-level bureau flunky at a major newspaper. Why out yourself here? What’s the value of what you did at the Post to this site? Nothing. Will you now post some dick shots on your Facebook page? Cuz that’s what you are, dude: one little dick for the world to see.
April 18th, 2008 at 11:45 am
[...] this sports blogger getting Dooced by the Washington Post. Apparently he got fired for this post. It does raise interesting questions of what journalists are allowed to do (and write) in their [...]
April 18th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
yep, and your dip shit ass got fired too!
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAW!
Idiot.
April 21st, 2008 at 10:45 am
[...] Post and blogged, using the moniker Christmas Ape, at the Web site Kissing Suzy Kolber. He outed himself on the blog in the interest of full disclosure, or so he [...]
April 27th, 2008 at 2:17 am
[...] Ape while blogging and was fired not as well drawn out after juicy his journo duty contained by this post where next to earth he says he works contained by support of a “dying [...]
April 27th, 2008 at 2:54 am
[...] blogging and was fired not as well protracted after illuminating his journo living surrounded by this post where by earth he says he works all within favour of a “dying [...]
April 27th, 2008 at 2:54 am
[...] blogging and was fired not as well protracted after illuminating his journo living surrounded by this post where by earth he says he works all within favour of a “dying [...]
April 27th, 2008 at 3:42 am
[...] while blogging and was fired not as well extended after indicative his journo charge surrounded by this post where by the side of earth he says he works all within support of a “dying [...]
April 27th, 2008 at 3:42 am
[...] blogging and was fired not as well prolonged after significant his journo errand surrounded by this post where by the side of earth he says he works all all surrounded by favour of a “dying [...]
April 30th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
[...] even dump their workers for off-hours profanity: The Washington Post recently fired a staffer for a foul-mouthed post he authored under a pseudonym on a popular NFL [...]
May 4th, 2008 at 11:06 am
[...] pseudonym Christmas Ape while blogging and was fired not too long after revealing his journo job in this post where he says he works for a “dying medium.” Editor & Publisher posted this email [...]
June 14th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
[...] Happy Dragon Phoenix Web Blog Fire Joe Morgan. More severely, Michael Tunison (Christmas Ape @ Kissing Suzy Kolber), outed himself on KSK and fired from the Washington [...]
June 14th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
[...] were fired from their jobs in journalism for not informing the news organizations of their blogs. The first was accused of bringing “discredit to the newsroom” and the second for was fired for [...]
August 11th, 2008 at 2:52 am
[...] required prior approval. In April, Michael Tunison was fired from the Washington Post after he revealed that he wrote for the sports blog Kissing Suzy Kolber. His bosses told him that he had brought [...]