Buzz Bissinger Fails To Follow the KSK Style Guide
Okay, so here’s a video clip (via the wondrous and newly outed Awful Announcing) of Buzz Bissinger completely losing his shit on Will Leitch last night and quoting from one of my columns (Yeeeeahhhh, free publicity!!!).
I hadn’t had a chance to see this clip until today, because I cancelled HBO recently (“Tell Me You Love Me”? More like “Tell Me I’m A Self-Absorbed Jackass”). But I have to say, now that I have seen it, I am fucking OUTRAGED. Not because Bissinger pounces on blogs like I pounce on a box of Crunch ‘n’ Munch. No, I’m pissed because the greasy old fucker GOT MY NAME WRONG.
Let me tell you something, Buzz. IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME. I’ve been an uncredentialed blogger and board uncertified dick joke technician for over two whole years now. I take my vocation very, very seriously. This is not some frivolous pursuit. This is MY PASSION, particularly since “Heroes” is still in reruns. I put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into this career. Mostly sweat. And some Hershey’s Syrup. Regardless, I MEAN BUSINESS, you big, slouching assfister. (Seriously, would it kill you to sit up in your seat, buddy?)
My screen name, Big Daddy Drew, is quite possibly the dumbest screen name ever conceived. But I put a lot of sweat equity into this moniker, you heartless bastard. How dare you corrupt my precious brand name by getting it wrong in front of a live television audience? That’s shoddy journalism, and I won’t stand for it. I don’t need to take this kind of crap from a dude who kinda looks like acclaimed character actor John Billingsley.
Perhaps, Bissinger, you weren’t aware that we at KSK happen to have STANDARDS. No, I’m quite sure you breezed right by them. But let me tell you something, you dirty horsefucker: The next time you use my name, YOU DAMN WELL BETTER GET IT RIGHT. And, to help you make sure you get all aspects of KSK terminology correct, I’ve provided you with this very handy and portable study guide. Print it out if you like. You do know how to use a printer, don’t you, Oldie McGeezerhead? Good.
-“Big Daddy Drew” is capitalized. There are no Balls anywhere in the formal title. BDD is an allowable acronym, but only if you write the full name first.
-“Fucktaster” is not hyphenated.
-In fact, no hyphens are used here. That requires extra typing, and I don’t like doing that much work.
-“The Sex Cannon” is two words, always with the definite article preceding it
-Facts of any kind must not be used. Facts are for, like, nerds and shit.
-Bill Simmons EATS a fat dick. Always use the present tense.
-“Christmas Ape” may be shortened to “Xmas Ape”, but only if say something mean about the Washington Post first.
-“Armcock” is one word. No spaces.
-“Buzz fucks horses FARTHER up the ass than any man alive.” Never use further. That fails to connote proper depth.
-The term “Pussybasket” is of Kazakh origin and should be used sparingly.
Oh, and one more thing: THIS IS A COMEDY SITE. If you’d like to read real journalism, with real sources and credentials and shit, by all means do so. I won’t stop you. I read it myself all the time. I wouldn’t have anything to make fun of if I didn’t. Assbag.
If you folks have any other style guidelines to pass on to our new friend, please help him out. I’m sure he’ll assume I wrote them all anyway.
[Apely note: I'll be appearing with trained writers WHO AREN'T AFRAID OF THE FACTS at Varsity Letters in New York tomorrow to discuss the events of my untimely demise from the MSM. Maybe they'll verbally waylay me the way Bissinger did. Maybe if I get "totally fucking hammered" enough, I'll read some Marmalard. Never know.]
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, Braylon Edwards as the voice of reason, corrupted brand names, inapporopriate tonality while writing online, strunk and white sounds so dirty
April 30th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
When Mock Drafting, always think of the most obscure references. I’m talking starfruit here.
Suggestion for the mockdraft this week: Horses. There are tons just in movies and actual racers. Also, the first pick would be an easy choice.
Oh, and other style guideline is to always include clever tags on your postings. They help INFORM the peoples
April 30th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
exclamation points are optional when typing kill kill kill.
April 30th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
your an overweight idiot.
April 30th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
You guys have really made it. BallsDepps Big Daddy Balls…..thats sweet.
April 30th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
How was the NOFX backstage show anyway? Somebody should tell Buzz that Friday Night Lights sucks balls.
April 30th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Logan- that’s “you’re”
April 30th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
When including stage direction in a post involving dialog (see “Wade & Jerry,” etc.), always be sure to italicize and enclose said direction in full brackets.
Example: [door flies open]
April 30th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
When referring to Hines Ward, almost all (the almost is important) r’s become l’s and vice versa. This is incredibly important. Also, proper posts will contain either a dick joke of some sort, or will have a “/dick joke” at the end of the post to indicate that the author had forgotten one until that point.
/dick joke
April 30th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Buzz, do not confuse Big Daddy Drew’s name with Big Daddy Balls, the pet name that your son gave you after you teabagged him
April 30th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but
“Let me tell you something, Buzz. IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME”
reminds me a lot of that Space Ghost episode where he interviewed Buzz Aldrin.
April 30th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Drew I hope you meet him in the street and kick his fucking ass.
April 30th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
“Take of your mask Clayton, we want to see your face” - Then when I see what you idiots look like, my head will explode, chappelle’s show style. Real writers have a headshot next to their colum.
April 30th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Simpsons references need not be cited. This is because it is impossible to plagiarize The Simpsons. This is because anyone who doesn’t not recognize an uncited notation of The Simpsons deserves kicked in the nuts (I’m looking at you Buzz).
April 30th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Friday Cheerleader posts don’t even need words, really!
April 30th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
How dare you dumb me down Drew…
April 30th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
“-In fact, no hyphens are used here.”
But … you bullet items with …
April 30th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
It’s preferable that fictional cheerleader posts should include some lesbianism, but it’s not mandatory.
April 30th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Buzz really sets the bar for journalistic integrity pretty high when he opens with “you’re full of shit.” Hello second Pulitzer! Another style guideline he should know is that when someone says “You better ask somebody,” the implied question they should be asking that hypothetical somebody is, “on whose dick should Buzz Bissinger choke?” [Answer: mine]
April 30th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
I majored in dick joke technology.
April 30th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Drew, I’m sure you loved being called Big Daddy Balls.
April 30th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
@Max D. - I was thinking the same thing. The fucker is obscenely insulting bloggers (whom he admits to not reading) for obscenely insulting pundits (whom we do read). Sensical!
April 30th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Sussman, haven’t we already spoken to you about your nitpicking?
April 30th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Christ, what a colossal fucking douchebag. I never imagined it was that bad.
He’s just pissed that the Police Academy recruits shaved off his eyebrows. “Proctor!!!”
April 30th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
its obvious this puerile screed came from someone unfamiliar with the works of W.C. Heinz
April 30th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
whos that like a ketchup guy or sumfin?
April 30th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Costas saying fuck followed by douche provides him the credibility needed to be a solid media personality.
April 30th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
And kudos to whoever ended the clip with Buzzkill saying “I may be over fifty, but I’m not that stupid.”
Oh, I beg to differ.
April 30th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Update: I’m only able to stomach this clip in short bursts and still haven’t made it all the way through. Me no likely the poet laureate of redneck high school football. W.C. Heinz deserved to die!
April 30th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
I think he would have made a better case for “professional journalism” if he could have managed to get the column’s name or author correct.
Costas could have shown a little professionalism by learning what he was talking about too. I wish Leich would have called them on it.
April 30th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Strunk and White should have a “Dick Joke Technician” entry in their next edition.
April 30th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
As far as the whole Matt Leinart issue goes… correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t it actually local Arizona media that was all worked up about that? I think the only issue anyone around these parts had with it was whether the ass Matty pulls is hot enough for a starting NFL QB, no?
Also, Buzz - the only thing lazier than the blogging community is your fucking eye.
/// Burn.
April 30th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
And the award for best screen name ever goes to…
April 30th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
I think we are all missing the point here. The main take-away of this entire segment is that Braylon Edwards is ridiculously, fucking sexy. Discuss.
April 30th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
When using profanity in the title of a post, use — to replace at least one letter
April 30th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Hey anybody going to be near Mansfield, Texas this weekend:
April 30th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Doh, stupid posting system doesn’t allow links:
http://www.buzzbissinger.com/etc.html
April 30th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
I just want to start this by saying you all are full of shit.
April 30th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I feel like one of those people who follows a band, then the band gets some national attention and you know, right then and there, that the motherfuckers are going mainstream and that everything is going to change.
Wait a second, theis BDBDD we’re talking about here, naaaaaaa!
April 30th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Great post. Watching it last night it seemed like he was purposely stumbling through the names in an effort to discredit the source.
April 30th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
I think Buzz meant to reference W.C Fields, which is more of his speed versus W.C. Heinz.
April 30th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Thanks for the update, Jim U. I think that he is also expected to be at Churchill Downs on or around May 3.
April 30th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
It was nice of Drew not to go all “Andover sucks, Exeter rules.” I would have, except I didn’t get into either one. Go ISL!
April 30th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
I think the largest factor overlooked in all this is that unlike in the mainstream media, if I dont aggree with Balls Deep Big Daddy Drew’s assesment that the Jets stink, I can go right underneith his post and take him to task and that many of us commentors do indeed do that. There’s a quid pro quo between bloggers and their readers, whereas in the mainstream it’s between the writers and the athletes.
He said that much of what’s in the bloggersphere is mean spirited, well maybe the public likes to see that from time to time, across the board as opposed to wondering who’s trading access for sweet quotes. With the exception of Lupica, give me mean spirited before you give me watered down. Give me a rumor before you give me a watered down press conference statment interpeted as fact.
Finally, you dont like blogs, great dont read them. If your going to fight over anything fight over opinions because fighting over viewership/readership is stupid, pointless and it uncovers what the underlying problem is, you’re losing you bread and butter to a better format that reaches more people.
In closing, eat a dick Buzz and those who would make you there god.
April 30th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Bissinger can eat a bag of dicks. This guy clearly doesn’t understand the nature of blogs or the culture of the internet. These are either comedy sites or sites that are opinion driven, and they contain with them an open forum for discussion. They aren’t traditional print journalism, and have never meant to be that way. When I want factual information, I’ll turn on the news or read my newspapers website, when I want to laugh or hit the rumor mill, I go places like deadspin, this guy needs to piss off.
April 30th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Buzz Rongrastname make Hines no smirre
April 30th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
“Darkie” is a racist and hateful term.
“Daaaahhkie” is a racist and hilarious term.
NEVER CONFUSE THE TWO!
April 30th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
As for a style guideline, I think Buzz could use a little more sexual momentum.
April 30th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
@ Mr. Snrub +1
April 30th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Just when I’d broken the habit of mistakenly referring to Big Daddy Drew as BBD (tee-hee) instead of BBD they gotta go and make BDB.
I think they should all be allowed interchangeably except when they create confusion, like an oxford comma.
April 30th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
That would be BDD the second time.
BDB>BDD>BBD?
April 30th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
I think the funniest part is Buzz, Wilbon, and the rest of their ilk view KSK and other sites as threats to their livelihood. If I want to read the usually inane details of a Mike Tomlin press conference, I will go to the MSM. If I want to read about horse fucking, Joe Morgan being a fucking idiot, or the wizard cat, I’m going straight to the good ol’ blogosphere.
The fact that the MSM can’t seem to grasp this shows a startling lack of open-mindedness and common sense.
/Buzz would rike to fuck Balbalo
April 30th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
I don’t comment here all that often, but somehow I feel i’d pass up on an opportunity if I didn’t mention that that Bissinger guy comes across as kind of a pompous ass.
and theStarterWife, I got the same idea about him mispronouncing the name. It’s a sad attempt to belittle blogs and blogger like they’re not worthy of his or anyone’s attention, but at the same time he goes completely nuts about the implications they have on journalism? Right.
April 30th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Wait a second:
November 6:
•Big Daddy Drew, co-author of Kissing Suzy Kolber
•Dan Steinberg, author of the Washington Post’s D.C. Sports Bog
•And another author TBA.
Does this mean that Drew’s going to be coming out on or before November 6? Or is he going to appear with his face obscured to protect his identity, a la Spider-Man or Mil Mascaras?
April 30th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
the thing about it is that this douche feels like a fucking rockstar leaned back on his chair talking about bloggers, changing (on porpouse) Big Daddy Drew’s name and forgeting the one of “the guy in Vegas”. You fucking cowboy you rule, you really showed me and I really feel like a smaller persona now, becuse I could never be as cool as you.
I’ve always seen mainstream media as a fraternity we’re everybody knows each other, they party together, they’ve got this dream job and are a little (very fuckin) childish, so in comes the pimpled face blogers from they’re moms basement and instantly get as much recognition as they do, so they feel like they’re loosing the edge.
are far behind him. Fuck him. Fuck Costas who set Leitch for not standing up and bitch-slaping this asshole. edit: masshole!
April 30th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
fuck buzz. and i didnt realize leitch looked so much like the PC guy from the mac commercials
April 30th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
oh and fuck this blog for eating up half my post.
April 30th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
I encourage all of you to write to Buzz with your thoughts at buzz.bissinger@gmail.com.
Here’s what I sent him:
Mr. Bissinger
You may wish to read what Big Daddy Drew wrote in response to your appearance on the Costas show.His two posts from today regarding your appearance/comments can be found at http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/. Frankly, before I read those posts, I didn’t realize that you felt that way about horses. Having found out the truth, you should be ashamed of yourself and apologize to all of your readers!
Larry
PS Based on your performance, I’d have to agree with Big Daddy Drew, a true journalist!
April 30th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
I love that Buzz sounded like one of these evil blogs commentators instead of an upstanding journalist. If you want to take the moral high ground on the issue, take it! Live it, breathe it, be it and have faith that by being the bigger man your point will be proven. Don’t fall for the tar baby trap you dick. You sounded no better than any of us. Why should we take you or your point seriously? Thanks for crossing over to the dark side Buzz, the water is nice over here.
April 30th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
“Big, slouching assfister” is now my preferred insult.
Why the fuck are they talking about garbage in the video? Did they find an aborted fetus in the dumpster outside an NFL player’s house or something?
I guess “journalists” miss the good ol’ cozy days of responsible reportin’, when there was a gentleman’s agreement between the reporters and the people they cover that the stupid masses would only see/hear heroic shit about athletes, celebrities and politicians. And they’re jealous that they don’t get to print dick jokes.
April 30th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
buzz can hum on my nuts.
apparentely, in his opinion, the mainstream media is never wrong about any of the things that they tatter across their front-pages.
what nut hummer refuses to acknowledge is that the mainstream media is going the way of the dinsoaurs… people aren’t buying newspapers or reading books anymore, they are getting on their favorite blogs and reading the opinions of these relevant events from those whose opinions are insightful, fanciful, and way more intriguing than those of some pencil pushing, stick up the ass nitwits that put the spin of their respective company into whatever they write AKA SELLING OUT LIKE FAGGOT(iron sheik channeled for that one).
drudgereport is where people get their news from now, not cnn.com or the other piece of shit news sites.
bill simmons is a piece of shit as well
the draft for this week should be biggest pain in the ass i.e. the words that come out of your draftees mouth make my hemorroids flare up to the point of suicide, though i know this is really close to your “who i want to die” one from a few weeks ago.
April 30th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
I only got through about 6 minutes of the video.
I’m just going to assume Braylon Edwards was sitting there because he invented the internet.
April 30th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Someone should ask Will Leitch how his ass feels, because he just got gangbanged.
PS, Buzz… KSK, Deadspin, etc. provide HUMOR. Maybe you should get a sense of one.
April 30th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Nobody addresses the faulty initial premise — MSM journalists are professional and unbiased and bloggers aren’t. Has anybody been reading newspapers or watching the news in this country for the past 20 years? There hasn’t been an unbiased journalist for at least two decades (except Ape, but they fired him).
April 30th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Poor Buzz… No wonder he’s pissed. You write so much better than he does. Oops. i forgot where i was. Dick. Balls. Fuck.
April 30th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Don’t you think Bissinger killed his own thesis by behaving in the exact manner he was decrying? And the worst/best part is, he didn’t even realize he was doing it. What a prick.
As for the Homo-Equine relations thing, you won’t find Buzz Bissinger in the State of Washington, where such assignations run afoul of the law. See:
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002382718_horse15m.html
April 30th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Fuckstick, get over yourself already will you? The fucking guy gave you some national pub and instead of jizzing all over yourself you take it personally. Oh, and Leitch sounded like the biggest fucking doorknob ever. Buzz totally called him out and he just sat there looking like a bitch. He nailed it when he told Will that he’s just out to humiliate these guys for some hits. My favorite moment, Leitch at his douchiest….”Yoooooor probbbbabbbly oooooover fifty…he he he.”
April 30th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
You are so wrong on the most important point of your post, Drew. Buzz looks much more like Brad Dourif.
According to imdb, he’s already rumored to be playing the lead in “Horsefucker: The Story of Buzz Bissinger”.
April 30th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
WOW! I have never commented here before but I have been reading KSK for almost two years and Deadspin for about a year…What I think was needed here was for Buzz to get a class, nay a seminar, called, “What is the internet!” Followed closely by an injection of this thing I like to call, “a sense of humor.” Yhe main reason I come here is to fucking laugh…And laugh I do…It seems these MSM craggy types are still of the mind that if it is “written” (meaning one needs to READ whole WORDS and SENTENCES) then it MUST be true. Buzz must have nearly lost his mind when he heard about tabloid papers and bazooka “jokes” waaay back before we had these “cum-pooters.”
April 30th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
What’s the proper spelling of this word: Ass hat or Asshat?
Either way Buzz is one.
April 30th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
what a fucking loser. Buzz needs to go back to nowheresville to continue his masterplan of unabombing the internets so that we can go back to the dark ages of reading some fucking elitist east coast columnists who think that us “US Americans” are too stupid to have our own opinions. oh and super schlong you obviously have no idea what the fuck is going on so let the adults talk and go pound sand somewhere.
April 30th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Buzz Bissinger enjoys the Triple Crown, and by enjoys I mean masturbates furiously to.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Any Wire fans go to Marlo in the holding cell when you read this? “My name was on the street? When I get out of here we are going to those corners and we are letting people know word did not get back to me. My name is my name.” Except when they get my name wrong. Then it is BDD and A.J’s love child.
April 30th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Deadspin has a clip of the intro of the show and it has Wilbon ranting away in it as well. The thing I love the most is Wilbon’s first question/condemnation: “What credentials do they have??” There, in a nutshell, he underscores the basic difference between bloggers and print journalists. The idea amongst those in the MSM that if you don’t have a little tag in your fedora that says “press” you’ve got no business putting your thoughts down in printed form. The MSM really, genuinely believes that their opinions are somehow BETTER than the rest of ours, just because they took classes to learn how to properly construct sentences, and have permission to see Terrell Owens fresh from the shower.
April 30th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
I’m confused…maybe it’s because I’ve been reading blogs for the last few years resulting in the deterioration of my intelligence. You say that you write on a “comedy site,” does that mean Buzz does not actually have sexual intercourse with horses? There are so many curse words in your credential-less defamation that I am having the hardest time deciphering the real news I should take away from my reading of this article. That’s all I got for now, mom is calling me up from the basement for dinner and she doesn’t like it when I sit on the internet all day. The good news is I’m still on pace to move out of her basement by the time I turn 40 next year!
April 30th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Proof this site is the official destroying society.
It was featured in a bunch of screenshots about “seedy” blogs.
It was Big Daddy Drew material that Bissinger used to try and impeach Leitch.
And it provided Joe Buck with material to attempt to make a joke.
That’s just horrible. Way to go, gay mafia.
April 30th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
ugh, i watched the entire show and, as much of a cunt this buzz guy is, the fact that joe buck was on there at all makes me sick… what a talentless piece of crap.
April 30th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
And who’s gonna teach Leitch how to say palatable?
April 30th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
That was classic! The Host with no knowledge on the subject showing some pretty clear bias. The random celeb/athlete guest panelist who manages to ride both sides and provide nothing to the discussion. The aging, out of touch guy who is overly defensive in support of his position, indicating the extent he is threatened by the other side. The young, nervous, bringer of change who had some trouble getting complete sentences together. Great casting job.
I realize WL didn’t really need to answer any difficult questions, or respond to any sort of meaningful comment, but he could have laid waste to that horsefucker.
April 30th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
way too many comments to read through, but i just wanted to say i hope someone has pointed out the blatant hypocrisy of this guy to accuse blogs of being profane while the first words out of his mouth are ‘youre full of shit’ and then just continues to swear left and right.
fuck you pal
April 30th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
-In fact, no hyphens are used here.
Given given what preceded that sentence, perhaps you meant “hymens”?
April 30th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
He wasn’t involved in the jokes or hatred of the commenters on this site. He is now. Hahaha.
April 30th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Bullet- Definition: A mullet with very little hair on top.
Example: You could see the steam from Buzz “Piss”inger’s bullet as he furiously proclaimed his hatred for computers.
April 30th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2006/02/imus200602
A Buzz-worthy article he wrote for Vanity. It contains only about 6 “Fucking”, 4 “shits”, 1 “Prick”, and a few other fucking swear fucking words.
WTF! Fuck this fucking fuck. Fuck!
April 30th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
I know one thing….
This is a disgusting voice!
April 30th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
H. C. Prick’s Spleen > Volek’s spleen > Simm’s spleen > Avery’s spleen
Look how crazy and topical this comment is Bissinger… mention it on pay cable! I AM NOT AFRAID TO GO THERE.
April 30th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Finally, to those who will listen:
Do you read The Onion for its accuracy? Do you watch The Daily Show and take Jon Stewart’s jokes as gospel? Then line up and take your empty pot-shots at Buzz Buttfucker without introspect. However, when you are firing your anal rim-shots, remember why we are here. It is not to bring ourselves closer to the douchebaggery which we see before us; but to distance oursleves from it. It is not to dignify the pompous remains of a dying (dead) media; but to proliferate free-thinking, impartial, unconditional lovers of the diversion which keeps us all partially sane: AMERICAN SPORT.
April 30th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
It sounds like he just wants to suck balls….He is insanely jealous that he did not come up with it first.
April 30th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Seriously though….journalistic integrity, Buzz & Mitch?
I listen to “journalists” like Jay Mariotti, Screamin, A Smith and Skip Bayless say some of the dumbest, most factually incorrect shit I’ve ever heard on the largest, most influential sports network around and I’m somehow supposed to respect their credentials? And I’m supposed to reject intelligent, rational, and humorous voices from other sources simply because they’re not bound by your “journalistic standards”?
ESPN was plenty willing to use early bloggers like Simmons to further their online support, but now that they don’t control the medium they take shots at its respectability.
There are 2 discernible differences between Skip Bayless and Big Daddy Drew. Bayless has been anointed by the powers that be as “credible” and he’s just UN-intentionally funny.
April 30th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Uh, Buzz. You say how Leitch favors and biases for the Cardinals and implies that is unprofessional, but his conduct isn’t? He reading the source writer’s name wrong is professional and slander? I smell hypocritical douchebag.
April 30th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Another terribly obvious point — like most Americans, Bissinger doesn’t understand satire.
April 30th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Some blogs are palateable other blogs need to go back to the kitchen for repalating.
Big Daddy Balls, see what I did there? I made joke by replacing his name with balls, like the title of the column, now THAT’S journalism.
[alan arkin/robert loggia voice]
April 30th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
Kinda like a fat James Woods. Can we start an offseason pool for a Bissinger autographed picture of Rich Garces’ tits? I’ll personally chip in a 20 spot if he writes “AMAZING” anywhere on the picture.
April 30th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Someone should explain to the MSM that these blogs are more Facebook then Espn. I come here to find out what other fans think (and dick jokes) not information.
April 30th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
I got through 2:30 of that video until I had to shut off that pompous prick. “Maybe if I get really, really loud and curse a lot then people will respect me and not realize that my dick is an innie.”
Buzz = Truly a cockslobberer
May 1st, 2008 at 12:22 am
nofx??? how can anyone care about nofx outside of nostalgically listening to anything pre “punk in drublic”? i think that might be the bigger story here
May 1st, 2008 at 12:46 am
I’m disgusted with the obvious hatchet job that the producers of the Costas Now show created.
Will has always struck me as basically a nice guy. OF COURSE they put Will on that show, because if they had put Drew or Ape or Punte on there, they would have ripped Buzz a new asshole.
And that wasn’t the kind of show that they were looking for.
May 1st, 2008 at 12:58 am
[...] April 30, 2008 · No Comments And KSK has the video of him going after Will at Deadspin, and some analysis on top of that. [...]
May 1st, 2008 at 1:07 am
@dinosaur: Ufford, on the other hand, would have just knifed him at the beginning and spared us from having to listen to that colossal assbag for the rest of the segment.
May 1st, 2008 at 1:08 am
I’m in an ongoing dispute with another copy editor over the proper style for “badass,” adjective.
Yes, that probably makes me kind of a tool.
May 1st, 2008 at 1:28 am
It would be cool if …
They could do a opinion piece (taped) and then discussion open to the pubic afterward
If only there was a way…
May 1st, 2008 at 4:06 am
Is Bissinger functionally illiterate?
“Is this guys name Balls Deep? Or Big Daddy Drew Balls?” Where’d you get the “Balls” after Big Daddy Drew, idiot? Were the # of views after Drew’s name 84115 or something?
I also love how they kept Leitch under attack so he couldn’t explain that BDD is a comedy writer, and a damn good one at that. The point of having him on Deadspin is to bring the funny. I guess this is progressive. First they let him on HBO but don’t let him get any coherent points across to those who might be watching that haven’t encountered the sports blogosphere. Maybe in 10 years or so the MSM will have Leitch on national TV and let him defend himself.
Also, Buzz Killington sucked all the funny out of Drew’s Garces’ tits joke. It’s not funny when you read it aloud, jackass (although, that might be how he reads all the time).
I swear to god Costas and Bissinger did almost no research. Costas quoted BDD and said the quote was from AJD while Bissinger was totally unprepared and foaming at the mouth. He didn’t even appear to know that BDD isn’t a journalist. All the while Leitch has to try and get across that the old media doesn’t get to decide if something is OK to read or not. Several people find this stuff entertaining, deal with it douchebags.
God I hate the offseason.
May 1st, 2008 at 8:33 am
Hey Buzz - Lewis Black called. He wants his act back.
May 1st, 2008 at 9:47 am
“My name is my name!”
May 1st, 2008 at 1:36 pm
man…buzz is a fuckin douchebag. thats a shame.
May 1st, 2008 at 2:03 pm
I would love to squeeze a monkey tail into each of your mouths. You elitist, over-hyped, overpaid, overly-critical windbags–I hope you choke on your own idiotic, closed-mindedness. I loathe everything about both of you. I would guess both come from broken homes or were molested as children.
Buzz, you wrote a bestseller about high school football. Kudos, but every writer on this site and Deaspin makes your writing look stale and old, just like you, since you’re over 50 and stupid.
Eat shit.
May 1st, 2008 at 5:30 pm
About the dumbing down of America comment…
wasn’t his best known work adapted into a tv teenage drama? Like the OC but with Texas accents? I know I’m smarter for it.
A Buzz comment I found interesting (from here: http://www.courierpress.com/news/2007/Nov/3/still-in-the-spotlightfrom-best-selling-book-to/)…
“We have increasingly become a society that no longer wants to read,” he said.
…then later…
“I’m also working on developing a screenplay about (boxer) Sugar Ray Leonard,” he said. “I keep a lot of balls in the air.”
…thanks Buzz. I’m sure all the royalties from the screenplay (if it pans out), tv series and movie based on your book go to literacy programs. Keeping busy with balls is good though.
May 1st, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Finally pinned down the resemblance.
http://moviejpegs1.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/Dorian_Tyrell1.jpg
May 1st, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Those first few minutes were probably pretty awkward for Braylon.
May 1st, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Whoda thought that Leitch would have met more decorum and tact from a wiseguy college basketball coach from New York and a syndicated show not known for its journalistic prowess than he got from a Pulitzer-winning author on a respected sports commentator’s show?
May 1st, 2008 at 9:53 pm
If it weren’t for you meddlin’ kids & your blogs, I wouldn’t have to justify getting paid for what you do for free. You damn punks……
and for the last time …. GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!!
May 2nd, 2008 at 7:28 am
Two, three minutes was all I could take. Buzz, you don’t get it and never will.
May 2nd, 2008 at 9:26 am
One more thing….
If it weren’t for you snot-nosed brats & your new fangled inter-tubes, sports journalism would still be classy — like me.
May 2nd, 2008 at 12:06 pm
[...] of books, Buzz Bissinger is a prick, and he gets rightfully bitch-slapped by Orson Swindle at EDSBS (also, thanks to St. Lousy Sucks [...]
May 4th, 2008 at 12:32 am
Fuck Bissinger. Will could have torn him a new ass if he wanted. Hell, any of us could.